Tell me the quickest, cheapest, and most painless suicide method, Yea Forums. That or call me a faggot...

Tell me the quickest, cheapest, and most painless suicide method, Yea Forums. That or call me a faggot. I'd prefer the first answer but I know the second will be more common.

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Kill yourself I guess

Cool but how.
>inb4 "retard can't even kill himself"

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>go where niggers are
>throw a brick at them and call them niggers
>niggers murder you

Good on you, buddy. Very humorous.

I said painless, user. Don't need to die with an ass wider than the brick I threw at them.

you also get free sex that way.

Afraid I don't fuck niggers. See .

Helium

Hanging oneself from a doorknob or in a closet. Since there's no suspension, it won't keep the person from breathing but will stop blood circulation, achieving unconsciousness in seconds and death in minutes.

What? This would be an easy painless method. The exit bag works every time. How was my suggestion humorous?

sorry, i had to solve like 10 captchas, so my extremly witty comment got delayed.

quickest cheapest is a gun

If you think you're cute then bitch you're adorable.

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What the fuck

That's not what I typed

I think something fucked up on your end

Not really quick, cheap, or inconspicuous from what I can tell.

Would just downing a cabinet's worth of pills do it, anons, or would that just make me feel like shit?

Then go ahead and show what you did type, funny man.

Suicide is too much work, just live for now and hope one day you die randomly and painlessly, that and give yourself time to find a method that works for you :)

I can't it's a secret

Helium inhalation

Go to a firing range, take out a gun, shoot yourself. You don't get charged until after the session and if you're dead you (obviously) don't get charged period.
Jump off a high building, the massive heart attack will kill you before you touch the ground.
Suicide by cop, get yourself swatted and act erratically.
Lie on train tracks with your forehead aligned perfectly with where the wheels will be. Go somewhere really dimly lit at night to avoid being spotted, plug your ears and double down with strong and effective noise cancelling headphones, along with a blindfold of sorts, so you don't pussy out.
Inhale computer duster as much as humanly fucking possible. Just do it in the aisle of your given store so you don't have to pay for it.

Everything else I've hoped for has failed, why would this be different?

Take a shower you might come up with something

Why does it need to be cheap?

Going with random amounts of pills is almost guaranteed failure, too much and youll probably just throw it up, or choke to death on your own vomit if you're lucky, but will not be fun. not enough and you can probably still fuck yourself to the point where you reach a new level of wanting to die.

Terrible advice for suicide. You definitely want to die more peaceful than this. Take a bunch of cheap sleeping pills and lay face down in a tub. Turn on warm water before dozing off. Slightly more expensive way but overall better death experience. OD on heroine or morphine. Just make sure you’re not saved by some a-hole.

OP asked for cheap and quick, not peaceful, these deaths are all pretty instant.

also overdoses = internal suffocation that you can't do shit about, sounds pretty damn terrible to me.

> Not really quick, cheap, or inconspicuous from what I can tell.
not quick? you're a retard. you're right to point out it's not the cheapest. you could drown yourself in a tub or hang yourself if you don't already have a gun. since you said cheapest *and* quickest i took the union of the two. a gun is an instakill of you're not a retard but will cost you money i guess if you don't have the gun or correct ammo.

Keep living, even if you live for 100 more years it is insignificant on the cosmic time scale so it is quick. You will die anyways. Don't pay death insurance/for the funeral, to make it cheaper (idk who the fuck would even pay that tho). I can't say whether it would be painless though, better than falling of a building.

I'm planning to an hero too so I did some research and what I'm gonna use is helium, Google it but you basically get a big tank of pure helium, to last for about half an hour at least at very low pressure, and you breath that only using a mask or some shit, it's painless coz you go unconscious in like a minute, you faint, and well it's also cheap, just make sure nobody finds you before you're dead because you'll wake up with some serious brain damage, or stay in a comma for the rest of your life

If you are planning to leave, could you tell the reason why?

>Cheapest
>Quickest
This is the last thing you will ever do, why the fuck would you not spend a fuck ton on it and make it as painful as possible?

helium exit bag

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ure very cute, i know u will find gf, friends and work, just dont despond
нa caмoм дeлe paзъeби eбaлo pyжьeм , биoпpoблeмный хyecoc

Fire range may backfire incredibly since if you don't die instantly there will be respondents that may be able to 'save' you. You may live on with half your brain missing.

I think you might want to Google cyanide poisoning dipshits. Painless isn't what I would describe it. And no jewelers hand out cyanide you halfwit.

My cousin killed himself with a 12 gauge. I helped pick up his apartment afterwards. Do it outside. Your family will have to clean up your apartment. Or just get counseling or something. His family is still fucked up 2 years later.

Suffocation that you're not aware off. If you realised you are suffocating you could just breath manually but you won't because you would be unconscious.

it's just coz I'm a loser, kissless virgin, turning old soon, retarded emotionally speaking, will be 30 in a couple of years, too old and disgusting for most girls, plus now I discovered I might be becoming a pedo, or always was idk, I feel attraction for 12yos and so, nobody knows but I'm not planning to seek for help, too late for that, I'm just trying to make things right for society, I have to finish some shit first, say good bye to my mom and family, and off I go

I think that if you just stop living, you will die pretty well straight away.
Hope this helps :)

Jesus you aren't even 30 yet? You got time to turn it around dumbass. You are probably relatively healthy? You are fucking up big time.

Gotta make sure it isn't mixed with oxygen these days.
Nosy ass user

How about collect your savings sell all stuff max out in cash buy a plane ticket to Nigeria and fuck someone like pic related. Buddy think about it

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I mean I've heard that many times already, yeah I'm quite fit and healthy, even good looking, but full retard anyway, and no I don't think I can turn this pedo shit around, it's been getting worse these past years, society doesn't need more people like me, thank you tho, but still doing it

I'd get aids for that

A lot of girls don't care about looks, plus you don't need to have a partner to lead a fulfilling life. My advice is to take some lsd and smoke some marijuana

pentobarbital

see:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas_(Swiss_non-profit_organisation)

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Not everyone is a degenerate like you buddy

Just find a short flat chested bitch who's 18 and go to town. You dont make any sense.

Legit advice. Mushrooms saved my life

>loser.
>Kissless virgin.
>Emotionally retarded.
>TuRniNG oLD S0oN
>Disgusting.
>Possible pedo.
>"too late for help."

Buddy, I hate to break it to you but it may be time to leave Yea Forums for good and follow 's advice

Lol those can be two of the worst drugs to take if you arn't up there mentally

yeah that's one of the possible ways it could not work, I've read most tanks come with oxygen nowadays, so it only kinda gives you a headache or something, but I guess I'll find out when I try the one I got first

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Best of luck

Post face pics

But you wanted to kys or not?

I figured what I'm I working for, I won't have kids if I continue like this, or anybody who cares about me, my mom will not be there one day, and I'll be all alone and still a fucking loser, alone and with no purpose in life, I literally feel no motivation for anything, I just feel tired, thank you tho I know your trying to help

I wish it was that easy for me to do that, I get nervous to even look at girls, can barely approach and I'm already all sweaty and fucking mumbling, can't do that honestly, and also too late for that I already made my mind, thank you tho

ever seen sunshine cleaning? opening scene

If you really don't care, just fucking jump head first off of a large building that's three stories or higher. Boom, instant death.

The 12 gauge to the head is the only thing that makes sense. Aim well

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oh yeah, i'd definetely kill myself if i were yuu

Follow this advice Why kys when you got money to spend wtf

You shouldnt be having kids if you having pedo tendencies and can't succeed at life. Why can't people realise that they will just produce beings as miserable as them??

where is your left ear lol

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A bearded dude bit it off during an intense moment of passion.

totally agree with you, I mean I never said I wanted kids, I meant I don't have the normal life of those who tell me I shouldn't kill myself, with kids and people to support, I'm just a lonely retarded ass that won't have any positive impact I'm anybody's life, and society would be better without people like me, well going to sleep now, I'm not op tho, I'm the pedo got on the selfie

Dont forget to ignite the charcoal inside your airlocked room

Try tinder. I still think you are dumb. If pussy would help you can get it. Just learn to think of women as lesser. You will figure it out

You really retarded?

Maybe chew and swallow a few apple seeds

He admitted pedo tendencies then doxxed himself. What do you think?

JAJAJAJAJAJAJA

He has really nice skin though don't you think?

yep full retard, can't talk to girls, even guys sometimes, I run out of things to say, I'm boring, I get nervous, never been with a girl, never kissed or hold hands or anything, zero self confidence, just plain annoying to be around, and I've already made my mind, I thank you for trying to help really but Im just to tired to try anymore, I know it'll be the best, probably my family will miss me for a while but they'll get over it real quickly, even faster after they read about all this shit I've been hiding in the letter I'll leave them

Why are you trying to save money if you'll be dead?

Go to some shady hood and play this music, you can sing too
youtube.com/watch?v=JgBRItAwhkQ

Except for the pedo thing. It seems like I am at least as bad off or worse than you. And I am happily married with kids. You just need a gf. Plenty of ugly or fat women who's fuck you. You can even be retarded and they would be happy to have you fuck them. They don't care if you are shy

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I don't think that's worth living for tbh, I mean I'm not full pedo, not even sure if I'm pedo at all really, I do feel attracted to adults but sometimes highschool teens look really attractive too, but even if I wasn't this retarded I'd never willingly fuck a fat woman, or a granny, call me whatever you want but I'd rather die a virgin

Have you had your dick sucked? Some of the best orgasms of my life were from this ugly girl who gave incredible head.You don't know what you are missing

And once you figure out women aren't anything to be afraid of you'll move on to better ones....

Messy, Probably painful but really fucking cheap and quick.
Knife through armpit toward chest, less than 15 seconds.

Ps high school girls look attractive because they are. That doesn't make you a pedo dude. We don't fuck them because they are children and adult women look good too

hold your breath

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Also therapy is worth a shot. Why not do that before you go and give up....