Friday Night Confess Sesh

That's not poisonous?

I dropped and broke a watermelon at the grocery store and didn't pay

Me and my step sister started fucking when we were kids and we still do despite both of us being married

I don't know it could be but wet is usually that or pcp dipped weed.

I once pretended to have a psychotic episode and smashed a macbook with a bat to keep my brother and his fiancee from stumbling across pictures I photoshopped of her giving birth to me.

>Fucked friends wife. Kinda just happened, I think he knows but hasn't said anything. I've known him longer than they been married. And it's a long marriage.
>Been having my {redacted} age niece strip tease for me.
>I think I'm going to bone manager. Every sign is there

why would you make pictures of that

>this
Dipping pre rolled joints into fomeldahyde is known on the streets as "get wet" or "getting wet" or "buck naked".

I fuck my niece on a regular basis. Shes 18 so everything is legal now but I'm worried my sister will find out. I spend every day in a panic someone will know but its just too good to stop. This has been going on for 3 years.

>Shes 18 so everything is legal now
>now
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thats not how crime works

To get whet mofucka

Every single time that I have sex with my wife, I think about her identical twin sister. Sometimes I think that I married the wrong one, because I'm clearly more attracted to her sister.

Incest isn't Illegal in most places.

I was on the bus when this guy got on with a big box of Yum Donuts (local chain). My stomach started to grumble and I thought of a plan. At the next stop I bumped into him and grabbed the box. I ran away from him screaming, "HE'S GOT A GUN!" all the way to the open door, leaving the guy with a confused bus and no donuts.

I was like 10 when I first ate ass at that age I found out about porn and watched it and I thought why would anybody do this so I went to my neighbor's daughter and asked if I can see what it was like to eat ass and since she I'm super weird day after it was terrible is very awkward when I realized one day

And that gets you more high, or mellow or what?

My dad is a crazy alcoholic youtu.be/9Yie8IZ4GKA

god thats hot
greentext?

fucking people below the age of consent is tho idiot

How can you tell then. Post them

I pushed my wife into an incestuous affair with her father. Her father is so willing it is easy. My wife is a consummate whore and likes it. She says she does it just to turn me on.

Hell yea dude

I told my wife a damaged friend of hers should move in and be the third, on said friend’s advice.

>Family vacation to Hawaii
>Sister wants to swim with the dolphins
>Dolphins swim line between cute and annoying
>Fun at first, but after 45 minutes, come on.
>So I change it up, try to amuse myself. Next time I get a dolphin to myself, I whisper:
>"I'd like to stick it in your blowhole, you slippery grey slut."
>I chuckle, then thick about it. Decide to try fingering said hole, though they explicitly told us not to."
>Dolphin squeals, and I smack it's fin as it swims away. Ill-advisedly, I shout after the dolphin:
>"I didn't want it anyway, ya tease!"
>Nobody knows what I mean or thinks it's funny. But I get in trouble and we have to leave "early".

it's early days, but i think i'm in love.
i'm not sure what to make of how he feels on his end though.

He is the most loving, sweetest, gentleman in person, but through text he's rather distant, stoic, and aloof.

What could that mean ?

It fucks you up 9 ways to Sunday

Also called sherms

dryfucked w a friend of mine while there were 3 other people sleeping in the same room

I have been posting my wife's nudes and videos for a while. She's become well known on /b and she's been reposted to many porn sites. Her full got exposed as well, but not much came of it. I'm getting bored of just posting her nudes and have an overwhelming desire to go all out and fully dox her and let /b ruin her. It's so wrong, but the thought if it really turns me on. Just writing this gave me a hard on.

>hello newfriends, learn to google

Pretty sure that says 18. lol

>Shes 18 now
>This has been going on for 3 years
ok retard

No greater fantasy than to be made a foot slut by a bunch of sweaty middle or high school soccer players.

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yo when i was like 5 or so i fucking punched a fish cause it splashed me

More details.. how old are they both? Is there buttfucking involved?

Was that in Training Day?

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Pics please

I can't leave any evidence so I'm able to call it a hack if I go through with it. But, she's in a few other threads now.

Just post it faggot. What the hell are you talking about.

Don’t dox her now you moron. Just post the pics that you have already posted

Exactly this

Having sex with my little sis ...
M’y biggest secret

Do you buttfuck her?

>americans

I've been fantasizing with the idea of dressing my gf as a boy and fuck her right on her ass since we first met. She know I like boys because she found a shit ton of porn in my cellphone but she doesn't know I've had sex with males before, she haven't ask though, I think she's repulsed by that idea..
anyways she's a very boyish girl, huge eyes, small lips, cute twinky face, thin as a stick and with no boobs at all.

I can't post them in here after I just admitted that. I'm posting her in another thread now though and debating fully exposing her in another thread.

I did this with my girl. I have never had sex with a dude. But I made her wear a fake mustache and called her a faggot while I fucked her ass to humiliate her. It was pretty hot.

Yep ... doing everything

Just have a son

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What are you blathering about it’s all anonymous you fuckwit.

When I was like 10 I tried to fool around with my cat

I wore an eau de toilette a bunch of times before I realized it's basically only for women. I cant even build an alcohol stove for it because I can smell it after it is burned

Nice work

It wouldn't be anymore if I posted her pic linked to this

You can’t be this stupid. You could be lying. You honestly think someone is in here that knows your wife... or believes you are telling the truth?

I’m wearing a girls one piece swimsuit right now

Toilette (Eau de Toilette) – A light spray composition with 5% – 15% pure perfume essence dissolved in alcohol. Usually lasts for about 3 hours. Perfume (Eau de Parfum) – Historically genderless, used to describe both men's and women's fragrances.

I've posted her a lot, so it's possible. I'm sure anons would at least recognize her from my previous posts

19yo fag from texas moved to la. there i run about in certain semi-celeb circles through my friend who is an indie musician and got me the option to meet many attention, fame craving young girls. never had any luck until i met a young teen from my place which is actually posted here from time to time and best known for her involvement on a certain youtube channel with a lot of young people in it, doing all sorts of stuff, from food, videos react etc. the fact we "kinda" know eachother or at least our families got me some luck with her so long story short i ended up using my chance to the fullest and got in her pants like year and a half ago. talking about years...that seems to be the problem with this story, her age... now you do the math

Post a picture of her butthole. If anyone recognizes that.. then you are dumber than we all thought.

Post pics

but, you are a girl?

Gerber baby?

I've been having desires to cheat on my gf but I'm on a spiral of feeling guilty if I do it but still have a really strong urge to do it

fucked a 13 year old

I’m a guy

I’m moving to study abroad because once... I tried to kissed a girl (don’t remember if I really kissed her) and seems like there was no consent. Might backfire

Im a guy

It means he prefers to speak in person

It's called "sherm," user.

I am insecure, I beat the shit out of my bitch because she makes me jealous

When I was in high school I slept with my math teacher to pass her class. Wasted effort since I dropped out.

I am a sexual predator I prey on weak ppl that won’t do shit.

I want to worship my lil step brothers feet and suck him off

>I am a sexual predator I prey on weak ppl that won’t do shit
Such a shit bait

Same. Put cats tail in my vagina

I work for the Feds and getting all the IP address's

thanks guys really informative information

I suffer the daily indignity of working for a fat nosy blob I'm just gonna call "Donna". She sanctimoniously scolded me today for coming back 45 minutes from my lunch break. She also pointed out the stain on my trousers, which made it awkward. (Let's just say I ate lunch at the strip club). Now since Donna won't keep to herself, I decided to get back at her. There's this homeless guy who hangs out in the parking lot. I paid him 5 bucks to spill some coffee on Donna's dress when she walked out. Now she has a stain, heh heh.

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What more do you want ask away

You got you (You). Now fuck off

how did it start?

Woof

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I skinny dip in the public pool

Kinda like that, yeah

I don’t believe you. But I really want to see where this goes

My (blood) cousin just got married to a woman from Brazil. Her sister is very cute and I think she might like me, but now that she's legally family, I can't do nothing about it.

I don’t get it , what are you trying to say new fag here

Exactly. Fuck off. Lurk moar. An hero

Give it your best shot %50 percent of marriages end in divorce

I'm really into mind control hentai

Your says (you) too....

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Any pics of her let the fags decide if she’s worth it

I really want to fuck my friend but she is totally brainwashed by her husband.

>Hide in the woods by my local college late at night
>Always fantasized about raping a girl
>See a 7/10 girl pass by, alone and listening to music
>Start following her, about to make my move
>I suddenly can't do it and end up just standing there as she walks away

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I am scared to talk to girls so when I am horny I go on Grindr and get my dick sucked by guys

I want to fk a real faggot in a church bathroom it’s on my bucket list

But the sister still isn't your family

Absolutely based

What a coincedence. I wanna get fucked by a big cocked dude again

You are a complete POS

Did you both have boners at the time?

I wish I could suck my father's cock, and have him take my wife in front of me which I then have to clean up. I wish my wife would peg me more often

I once wrote a paragraph of stuff about how this black kid was a nigger on the bathroom wall in high school. I don't feel that way anymore. I didn't really feel it then, he was a bully and I wanted a word that hurt as badly as they made me feel.

Also abused my ex for several years. No reason for it.

I'm dating a girl, that I dont know if I wanna stay with. I keep thinking about the girl that I used to love, that is currently engaged. I cant shake the conundrum

Fag

You beat your ex because you were bullied as a kid nothing special about your situation just don’t beat any other women

That explains it

I too have this feeling

My dad used to always walk around in his under wear when I was younger and they had like zig zag or some strip designs

Result

> I am a fag now and I love bulges and want to jerk off diudes in speedos aww so fucking hot thinking about it

Nice. Have you cum inside her?

My mom used to walk around naked with her pointy nipples out
I think that’s why I like older women

I found out about Yea Forums because I wanted to know a trannys name so they told me to ask on 4 Chan

Yea Forums found the tranny only took two posts

Whatever happened to the white chapel guy? He hasn't posted for awhile.

Which one? Post picture?

Are you watching jimmy kimmel?

Nope, can't stand any of them.

Can’t remember was a long time ago

But the video was a bout a tranny at the beach and some guy was trying to hit on the tranny he takes the tranny back to the hotel they start kissing and then he gets “surprised” when he sees the trannys dick but they still fk

This one

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My former stepdad used to fuck his daughter (my stepsister). I would take her pajama shorts out of her laundry hamper and smell his cum in them and cum buckets.

Active /r9k/ server, no normalfags allowed:
discord
[Ib]-I-I16I-I-[dI]
.gg/vvftDyy

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I have been talking to a guy from Yea Forums about drugging my wife and date raping her together. Haven't done it yet but we are quite close. Maybe tomorrow

kekd

I want to be a parent asap but know I need the right waifu for it first. Still have no patience for it

Tried to OD while parents were away failed and spent the couple of days on my floor barely alive, took a uber to hospital, damage to organs and still haven’t told them.

I once broke into a white peep house and stole their 2 year old baby
I was high on meth so I used the baby as a human flesh light
I taped his mouth shut so she wouldnt cry so loud
At first I ate that slit and it was tasty af
Then I spat on it and went raw dawg
She was bleesing and crying non stop
After cumming in her I did a hulk move
Grabbed her by her feet and swung her from side to side
After about 5 swings she was lifeless
I cut the body into multiple pieces and threw each part in separate bins
Never got caught, and im black

Who hasn't??

Medically impossible unless you have a 1 inch dick

Grass is Greener Syndrome

lol age of consent is 16

>Medically impossible
Posts on this site proved otherwise, ya know? Don't be so new

more?

For a while now I've been taking pictures of my crush, y'know pics of her body, like her thighs and ass and crotch and stuff like that and at this point i jerk off to them extremely often, about 3-5 times a day. Like she's so hot and I get so turned on by it and masturbating to them feels so fucking good. But afterwards I think about what I'm doing and i feel so shitty, like i feel like im taking advantage of her in a way, Idk i just feel like shit after i jerk off to it because the pictures were taken without her consent. I feel so dirty but I can't stop for some reason.

Yeah, what a fucking stupid concern. I hope he breaks up with her before it's too late.

Surprised no one reached to this
Also isn't that just... Rape? Not date rape

same thing would happen to me after jerking to my hot cousin, who i used to live with in college. i was young, dumb, and full o' cum so you can imagine the fun i had with her hamper and that late night eavesdropping of her fucking her bf (just to name a few). heaven while it lasted.

Can we see her body?

I regularly fuck an 11year old.

I know the details on 3 currently active Underage Brothels in the US.

when did you have gay sex?

male or female?

Based stroke poster

I wont be seeing by long distance girlfriend until early may and I'm going to cheat cause shes lost interest in phone sex how do I get away with it advice from longtime cheaters?

i love to play snes games naked in my room

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Step one, second phone. Step two, new name. Step tree-fiddy, new accounts (email, social, etc...) Finally, never admit to anything.

Just don't leave online trace

Not sure if want more info or to call feds...

My cousin is an absolute angel who most definitely been with many guys but acts like a prude to family. I wish I had a chance like you.

I’ve sniffed my hot coworkers used tampon plastic container things. The little trash bin they put them in next to the toilet is full of them.

I confessed like 5 or more times in this thread

I am going to pop this fucking thing forgot to pop it last night it’s hurting and a whole lot of puss is going to come out

Forgot to post pic

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How did that happen? Shoe rub?

It would be so nice to dress you up like a little teenage slut and have my way with you, abusing that tight pussy of your and have you squeal like a little slut uncontrollably wetting your panties with your cute little clit. I want to lick you wet through your cami, biting your hard nipple through the silky fabric, while sliding my dick on your smooth legging, fondling your cheek and your clit through the silky fabric, and then licking it wet, and then slowly peeling it down, sucking your girl juice through the wet panties, just to finally slide my dick through your panties, and passionately smothering with your girl clit together till our juice mix and slowly dripping down to your girl pussy, and having you wear that silky wet panties and legging all day, smearing the panties juice all over your girl clit and your face.

Oh yeah Daddy! Creampie me on the table at Thanksgiving Dinner! Show our whole family what a dirty cum dump I am!!!!

I'm waiting to make sure my girlfriend isn't pregnant, separating from the military, going up into the mountains and watching the sunrise one last time before shooting myself in the head. See y'all on the other side.

Why the FUCK have you not joined this discord already?
discord
.gg/VkRdb3k

-183

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it means he ain't interested

Watch out for bears

My cousin runs an egg farm. One time when he was showing me around the place, I grabbed one of the chickens and started strangling it (Get it? Choke the chicken?) He started yelling at me. I let the chicken go and still my uncle was PISSED. He told me he doesn't raise that kind of farm, that he as to keep his hens healthy. He said "hens" instead of "chickens", so I guess he didn't get the joke.

Bears don't scare me, but continuing my genetic line does.

Yeah, make sure to bring a gun in case of bear attack.

I made out with the coat check girl at my cousin's wedding reception. She seemed really into me, but I'm concerned it might be inappropriate, an imbalance of power, the reason professors can't sleep with their students, that kind of thing.

This guy gets it. He probably loves getting wet lol.
High as fuck motherfucker

Post the pics

I love these threads cuz even though there be degenerate shit we can all admit our sins, I have a pocket pussy Imma fuck to incest porn pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5c12d56f5c74e

So hot pics of her plox

I used to be a preacher. I used to get the whole congregation jumpin for the lord. And then you know what I'd do? I'd take one of them women out in the grass, and I'd lay with her. Did it every time. Then I'd feel bad, and I'd pray and pray, but it didn't do any good. Come the next time, I'd do it again. I figured there was no hope for me, and I was a damned hypocrite. But I didn't mean to be.

In relationship with current gf, she's honestly pretty fucking amazing. But I want to bang my best friend whos a beautiful light skin slim/think girl. Slowly but surely working my way into her pants, i've jacked off for days now only to light skin whores and have't fucked my gf because of this.

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I've been cheating on my GF with one of her best friends for the last year. She is hotter than my girl and plus she has let me cum inside her several times.

I go to strip clubs, not with friends for a guy's night out, but alone for the express purpose of getting a lap dance and coming in my pants. I "achieve" it every time, and I feel guilty, for exploiting the stripper, for wasting money, and the act itself.

No one gives a fuck

I raped a girl back in high school and got away with it because she thought it was another guy.

My girlfriend has a whole drawer of Twizzlers she doesn't let me share. It annoyed me, so one time I faked a robbery, left the door open, smashed a bunch of plates and stole the cherry licorice, so she'd think there was a break-in.

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What's your gf's excuse for not letting you bust inside her?

Who knows still haven’t popped it yet fucking tired as fk eyes are dried as shit

Did he get in trouble?
Story?

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I just saw my 18 year old housemate walk to his from from the shower butt ass naked

How do you do it and get away with it? Looking for pointers.

You were literally fucking with his money

Squirt it in your eye for some relief.

Stab it with a needle and squeeze...

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1 of 3
>be me
>in high school
>at a house party most of us drinking, smoking and underage
>see 9/10 girl from my class
>she is white girl wasted
>not exactly a stranger and not exactly a friend but she recognizes me
>she is making out with a couple of older Chads
>Chads buy alcohol for the party
>she has a boyfriend her own age and long term
>he isn't at this party
>evilgrinchsmile.gif
>I get an idea
>I stealth stalk her across the room and wait until she goes upstairs to use the bathroom.
>Upstairs is supposed to be the girls room and downstairs for boys. Upstairs is empty.
>I know the kid whose house this is. I get to go upstairs.
>wait in bedroom next to bathroom
>Pounce on her like a trapdoor spider and pull her into the room
>So dark in the room she can't see
>put pillowcase over her head just in case
>wrestle her down onto bed and start removing her clothes
>not easy to do with one hand
>other hand is over her mouth
>Party music is loud. No one hears her
>her skirt pulls up easy enough and her panties get torn off
>her shirt buttons pop and I get at her tits I have wanted to feel all year
>her bra is an underwire push up and damn near indestructable
>seriously, I can't rip it
> it stretches enough to get her tits out
>she is crying and begging and calling me by Chad's name
>perfect plan

I didn't kill it though. And if he had got the reference, he would have laughed.

Pretty weak shit. Odette Delacroix for the good B/S plots.

2 of 3
>I use my knees to get between her legs and pin her down with my bodyweight
>spit in my hand and rub it on my cock and some on her slit
>go balls deep in her with one long hard but slow stroke
>she squeals into my hand and squirms under me
>I just stay there until she settles down
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>fuck her slow and steady
>she stops trying to scream and tries to talk
>I take a chance and let my hand away from her mouth
>she is begging me to stop raping her and let her go
>half crying and half furious
>she says she doesn't want to cheat on her boyfriend
>I can't say anything back because she might recognize my voice now or later at school
>I can feel her getting wetter as I go
>at the time I thought she was into it but later I learn it is just reflex
>stillfeelsgoodman.jpeg

>I am not trying to impress anyone so I finish after 5 mins
>all the while she is talking about condoms and to do anything but nut inside her
>cum buckets inside her
>need to cover her mouth again because she starts crying
>I pull out and throw her off the side of the bed away from the door and run for it
>she just stays on the floor curled up and doesn't remove the pillowcase
>I collect myself and head downstairs
>grateful to be unnoticed for once
>I slip out the door and leave the party
>I actually jump and hide anytime I hear a siren as I walk home
> Get home and sleep like a king

Cool! Thanks. Reading now.

last of 3
>this was saturday night
>monday morning I see her at school
>she is acting normal like nothing happened
>I am DIAMONDS when she looks at me or walks past me in the hall
>I can remember what she looked like and sounded like and felt like
>I want to brag to my buddies but can't fully trust them
>Soon after she breaks up with her longtime boyfriend
>she gets a reputation as a huge slut for the rest of high school
>later find out that I caused all this by raping her
>she told a few close friends and blamed herself for leading Chad on by making out with him
>she still crushes on Chad so she never reports it to the cops
>thanks Chad for letting me get away with forcible rape in plain sight

>18-3=15
>15=16
Checks out

Thanks for the backup, user.

My life is Hellish because of a mistake my wife and I made. We were having sex in the shower when our baby son crawled out of his crib and out of the window my life left open. He died, and now she blames herself.

Did you cum?

You are a great husband. She's very lucky to have someone of your integrity watching out for her best interests.

Yes, but not worth it when later on your wife won't stop crying and wants to castrate you.

Are you by any chance going to a cabin in the woods?

Yes bring two guns. One for bears and the other for you.

Sausages.

Yeah, actually. Our friends have this place out in the country, and we're thinking about going out there, getting away from it all, alone to ourselves to recover.

2k IQ question! If you did... where did you finish?

Co worker reported me to HUman resources now every one at work looks at me funny

Why did they report you, user?

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

What an impressive guy you are.

Sign me up

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What drug?

Popped it

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I have a thing for one of my students (student is ~24 yo) , I think it's reciprocal. But i have a wife and kid..

At work I snuck into the ladies' room and scribbled a bunch of self-agrandizing stuff on the walls, stuff like "user (my name) is hung like a horse", things in that vein. I used s pink marker and tried to make my handwriting girly. I was hoping I'd be approached by some of them impressed by rumors of my manhood, but so far it hasn't worked.

penis. The best drug.

Why buy when you can rent!

because I love the dick.

There is no other side. You get one chance to exist.

Thanks for sharing! How did you do it?

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Found another one

More?

so tell me nigger what exactly happen while you were trying to steal that watermelon

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We all have an innate tendency to contemplate the eternal. It comes from our inherently eternal nature.

I'm so sorry for you.

I don't agree. I believe Heaven and Hell are one and the same. The soul belongs to Heaven and the body to Hell.

Chaos reigns.

There's this group of guys at my school that call themselves the PB & J Crew. They basically just hang out and eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I hate those sandwiches, but they're cool guys I want to be with, so I tolerate them. I thought about lying and saying I'm allergic but that might be the end of the good times.

Thanks for sharing, user. Made me shoot so hard! Harder than that pustule.

I'm pretty sure I'm schizophrenic, but I'm too scared to go get tested.

Thanks for sharing, user. Made me shoot so hard! Harder than that pustule did when you squeezed it.

I used to go to an old boss's house sometimes and his two older daughters would walk around wearing booty shorts and sports bras that showed the most cleavage. The youngest out of the two is thick and has the best ass and DDs. The oldest was a about the same except a bit smaller. I wanted to fuck the life out of the younger one so bad.

At the grocery store, I ripped open the boxes of creamsicles and fudgesicles and switched them around.

found the edgelords

I littered once :(

That's not good user.

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There is no defence scum bag

This guy cut me off in the parking lot, so after he parked, I rubbed my butt on his car.

Sorry, I meant to type *HE* was quite drunk. That night he got really wasted and was acting obnoxious, making a bunch of rude jokes before passing out on the sofa. I offered his wife a friendly ear in the face of her husband's behavior, and one thing led to another.

Bmp

LMAO

She's a friend's sister, like 42. Cute, petite and smart but a little strange. I'm 10 years younger. Shes been bringing her laptop over every once in a while when she needs help. This has been going on for three years or so. Nothing sketchy ever happened and I never really even thought of making a pass at her. For some reason I just started asking her real personal questions. She's super shy but for some reason she has no filter and will answer any thing I can throw at her. I'm installing some drivers on her machine and it's taking a while so I start asking her if she's ever had a boyfriend etc. until finally I just flat out ask her if she's a virgin. She confirms and just sort of laughs it off like it's the most obvious thing in the world. I tell her to stand up. She does it without hesitation. I tell her to close her eyes and she does so. I turn her around by her shoulders and reach around, lift her shirt up and feel her stomach. She squirms a bit and I rub her stomach while I unbutton her pants and slide them down to her ankles. I bend her over the desk and start fingering her from behind. She breathes heavy and goes completely rag doll on me but doesn't say a word. I'm finger blasting her and she starts really squirming but she's totally enjoying it even though I feel like I'm practically raping her. She freaks out when I try and finger her asshole and jolts back to life and pulls her pants up. She's a bit weird but still laughing it off nervously. She leaves like nothing happened. She texts a few days later about coming over to "look at her laptop" again. It's like nothing ever happened. I leave the room to take a leak. When I come back, her pants are off and she's bent over the desk waiting for me. Don't say a word. Same drill as last time but this time I put my dick in her and my finger goes right in her ass. When I'm done she casually pulls her pants up and makes small talk about helping her. She tries to give me $20 for "fixing her laptop" and I refuse.

She thinks your a gigolo

Where on amazon can I find your book to this sample/excerpt ?

bumpz

I'm wearing a friends thong I stole from her drawer

Found old sexts my wife sent from before we were together. Can't stop fapping to them.

I lack social skills but i have nothing to do anymore since my xbox blew up. So how do i get pussy or much better how do i hook up with older women. Im ok with anything but i would really like to bang some older women.

I havet cleaned my room in years

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I like younger women than me, Sometimes too young. Never act on it though

I once found an unused condom that I found inside my couch, it was my best friends that was given to him by his dad, it was the only memory of his dad. I knew it but I was SO horny and I never jacked off with a condom before, so I reasoned with myself and tried to really do my best exploding in it, all I could think about was it was his dads, but I am so used to jacking off I just went with it, I should have jacked off in the toilet because it was only 5 feet away.

What if the final blackpill is that the orange man is, in fact, bad.

Whenever I find thongs at the beach I wash them, then I wear them

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Hot. I have like 6 pairs

had 12 gf when 25.

> because I was getting my joe Biden on
Should have grabbed her ass because everyone thinks I groped her or sexually harassed her

9 at 27. Get on my level.

I never bought any

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Kik? That thong is so hot

Best friends gf

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Sorry taking this secret to the grave except for Yea Forums priest sessions

thinking about suicide. life is getting too boring and i've experienced damn near everything i've wanted to. I don't even see people on the internet doing stuff i want to do (that i haven't done)

thought about having kids, but there's no chance to have a good family with the state of women in the west.

tldr thinking about bowing out

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This is old stale pasta, you guys are newfags

I want to fap to these

KEK'D

Don’t want to turn this into a fag thread
It was going so good

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Kik me. Who's is that?

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We used to fuck years ago but she was never really that into it. I was a lot more eager to keep it going but she was just biding time after a recent break up. She's tall and lanky and a bit awkward but her body is amazing and she's a fuck machine when she wants to be. But that was years ago. She moved across the country and we would hang out on holidays when she visited but she made it clear that whatever happened in the past was not going to happen again. She was in town last Christmas and we went out to dinner. She looked amazing. Tight little sleveless top and a tiny skirt. We had a good time but she would shut me down anytime I made any kind of suggestive comment. After we went to my new apartment on the pretense that she had never been there before. We were making small talk on the couch and drinking wine. I leaned in to kiss her and she got annoyed and read me the riot act. Said she was going to leave if I kept trying to get in her pants. She was pretty tired and jet lagged. She laid back on the couch and closed her eyes saying she just wanted to relax for a second. She's just laying there with her forearm over her eyes. I start rubbing her leg and she gets really annoyed. She says she better leave. She stands up and I go to hug her but she's not really very receptive. She sits back on the couch and starts giving me the friend zone speech. I sit on the floor and pretend to be contrite and attentive. I see she's not wearing any thing under the skirt. I keep nodding my head as I put my hands under her knees and push her thighs up to her shoulders. She's pissed and telling me to stop but I ignore her. She keeps whining and complaining as I bury my fave between her legs until she eventually just gives in. When I stop she starts to get up but I push her down and undo my pants. She curses and gives in and tells me not to come inside her. She starts asking me if I'm enjoying myself like I'm a minor annoyance. I'm rock hard now. I twist her around and...

...I spread her ass like a turkey, ignore her pussy completely and put it right in her ass. She moans but it's a combination of annoyance and obvious she's getting into it. She reaches between her legs and squeezes my balls as she curses me out. She starts screaming now begging me to cum in her ass and I do just that. After, she's raging and cursing and pissed as all hell. She tells me not to expect that again. But I'm pretty sure it's exactly what will happen when I see her in a week or so.

You fucked up. The money was offered for legitimate work. Only slaves work without pay.

Any other action?

And?

Good boy. Eat what's fed you. Lick and slurp. Suck that cold steel.

>wife takes friend out
>both get shit faced
>Friend is pretty much out, have to carry her from the uber
>put her on couch
>wife goes to bed, try to finish my drink n keep an eye on friend
>she's throwing up
>clean her up put her on her side
>can see down her to practically falling out
>fuck it grab some tit
>feels good
>pull it out and stroke it in front of her
>grab her hand use her to stroke
>oh fuck she's gripping it
>pull her tits out
>get bold n press it to her mouth
>hold it in wok it a lil, debating on how far to take it
>omfg she's sucking it
>roll with it
>grab her head n push it on me little resistance
>omg she took it all
>legit sucking my dick fully
>call her nasty racist degrading shit
>quietly tell her I'm gonna cum
>pull her on me same time
>bitch starts milking me with her throat
>look down hand full of her hair pushing deep in her throat
>unload in her throat he swallows like a pro
>hold it in she works it till it goes soft
>wake up she has no idea

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I often wonder how much jewelry is burried in cemetaries. Damn waste.

Is your wife blavk?

no

Ok. I'll read.

>unload in her throat he swallows like a pro

Fuck you. Fuck off.

Eyyy im proud of you
Consider seeing a therapist

I take pictures of my girlfriend's feet, and masturbate to the thought and pictures of their feet. If I could lick their feet in their sleep, I would. I'm getting my girlfriend to have them have a sleepover, and since they all trust me it'll be fine with them. Once everyone is asleep, I get to lick all of their feet.

Woops, meant to say girlfriend's friends feet.

Have you tried drugs?

Medicine*?

I lost my virginity to a donkey in a village in Columbia on a trip some years ago. The owner of said donky has made it clear that If donkey baby is born I must pay child support. The weird thing is that every time I have sex with a women I can't help thinking about how much better the donkey was at making feeling oh so good. A past gf borke up with me because she got super weirded out when I screamed yesss donkey! Yessss! I tried to play it off as a joke but when she read my diary it was all over weeks later. Months later I was at a house party where she ended being at and she got pretty loaded, she then went on to tell everyone at the party I was a donkey fucker. She talked about the whole story in great detail. I was called a sick weirdo and banished from the party cause the girl who lived at the house was friends with my ex. One random dude at the party said to me that he stuck his dick in a hole in a wall in Thailand washroom and was 99% sure a man was on the other side but did not stop cause he was drunk and it felt do good. He said it is something his gf could never ever find out about. He mentioned that he felt sorry for me and that if he wasn't such a whipped pussy of a man with his gf he would of stuck up for me. I ended up leaving feeling depressed and wiping away tears outside, walked my way to the park and got wasted with a group of happy go lucky homeless guys.

Nah, I think he means hard drugs.

You're living in an alternate reality if you think everyone will be asleep and you can be lick happy. I got away with jerking surrounded by sleepers once. If I had touched any of them; Game Over. "You Died"

I've done it plenty of times before to other people. It's real possible, you just need to know if they are a heavy sleeper or not. And trust me Yea Forumsro, the girl that I wanna lick is the deepest sleeper that I have ever met.

actually, when i was younger i was saying that I'd wait to try drugs for the end of my life.

i suppose i could try that now, but i don't want it to distract from accomplishing my goal of suicide, preferably in the near future

Greentext pls

Nah, I think there are myriad medications available for depression patients. Drugs is as loose as it gets

What do you mean by older?
Cuz i think of you're Like 70 you wouldnt survive Most harder drugs but idk tbh

Half of the people I follow on instagram are girls that I have nudes of

Ye true tough

I may have made a mistake.
>Be me
>Meeting with my new mental health NP yesterday.
>She mentions sociopathic tendencies
>Not the first time I've got a personality disorder diagnosis, whatever
>Yadayadayada
>"You seem like a nice guy, user."
>"That's what they said about Bundy."
>"Yes, I suppose it is."
>MFW I'm probably on a list now.

Eric Clapton?

But He says he s bored idk if he could have depressions or if hes legit just bored of life

I got off in a room full of sleeping girls (fucked girls while sleeping.) Instruction not necessary.

>I’m drunk and numb
I’ve been without work for over a month, I was released with a severance of $7,000 dollars. Within the past 4 weeks, I’ve picked up cigarettes again. I’ve let my hair and beard grow. I have absolutely no will power to find a job. All my friends have moved to other states. I’m basically the one that fucked myself.
Thanks

So what you're saying is, go for it?

I want to cheat on my girl so bad... but I'm barely more than a neet. She wants to get married, but all I can think about is how much it would be more interesting to be polyamorous instead... And of course I just mean I'd rather fuck hotter chicks.

lol she was so drunk she was sucking me off

Wah What the fuck are you looking for her3?

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Polyamourous; including your girlfriend?

Lol sweet

I mean sure. She loves my pretty intensely, and I can appreciate that... I just feel like I need more than I'm getting...

It's more likely you'll win the Powerball in an established monogamous relationship and transform it into a swinging or polyamorous one. Poly/Swinging relationships are established at the beginning of relationships; not mid-way.

that's what i had in mind when i was younge. thought i'd live til i was that old, but honestly i don't see it now. once i start chugging down resources that I can't replace it's going to destroy my self-image and i'll want to be dead anyways.

the only problem i run into is that when i put the gun in my mouth, it's hard for me to pull the trigger. maybe if i get druged up enough i can convince myself that the gun isn't load or its fake. just gotta pull it once.

than be* in an established

MegaMillions is higher right now.

Yeah cuz that fag in Wisconsin. Doesn't mean 40 million is any less significant.

Aware of this, I browse tinder/bumble but doubt I will make a change. Ironically, already bailed on one long term relationship because a coworker invited me to sleep with her. Slept with a few other gals since then and somehow found myself in this relationship. I just miss the excitement.

Cheating ≠ Poly

Regularly creep on my teen sister. Recently logged into her Snapchat while she was at work and downloaded as many nudes as possible. There were hundreads, thousands if you include lingerie photos.

She's 19

Also aware of this. But I know poly won't happen, and in the end I don't feel satisfied. So I fight the urge to cheat. It's a line I haven't crossed before, but the temptation is real.

Hello World, I know what I have to do; just wanted to make sure you knew I am doing it.

Just saying.

Stayed a few days at a friend's house. They were away on vacation with their kids and they asked me to watch their dog and chill out. Nice house. Tons of booze and food. A note on the fridge with some phone numbers and also a reminder that their daughter's 12 year old soccer mate would stop by after school to pick up some gear she was borrowing. Monday she stops by. Cute and obviously in need of some male attention. She grabs her stuff and leaves quickly. Forgot all about her but the next day when I come in from walking the dog, she's sitting on the couch in her uniform watching TV. Says she always changes here before going home. I sit on the couch next to her. She's clamoring for attention. Nudging me with her bare feet. I grab her foot and twist it around. We're soon wrestling on the floor. She lightly punches me in the crotch and dares me to hit her back. I smack her right in the pussy and she dares me to do it again. Now she spreads her legs...

Saying nothing; watched people slaughtered here. So far, you understand everything... Is there something you don't know?

Go jerk off somewhere else, faggot.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Have a cigar; you're gonna go far.