How close are you to killing yourself?

What happened to you?

i could join the army, ill be homeless soon. i could get a shitty wage slave job but ive kinda given up. lost my car, job, and place due to toxic relationship and drugs. thoughts of suicide is overbearing, plus gf just left me. wanted to be an artist but im too depressed dont even draw anymore. i might drown myself in the pool. i havent decided yet. ive been working out to stay in shape in case i do decide to enlist

Holy shit how didn't you die did you get your stomach pumped or something?

get a kitten when your cat kicks it. cherish the memories you had and create new ones with a kitten. You could be the person to save that kitten from getting euthanized and in return that kitten can very well save you.

Waiting for mother to pass away to not cause her any more trouble. Won’t be waiting much longer since she seems to be deteriorating by the day. I at least want to be there for the goodbyes

yes

Well it was very awkward because I didn't want to be weighing my gf and family down so I swallowed 100 Advil and the couple Xanax and hydrocodone I had. I had wrecked my car previously so I was without a vehicle. so I asked her to just take me to a hotel. I wanted to die out like a gentleman, but she knew something was up because I was suppose to have work that day.

So she wouldn't take me to a hotel but I asked her to take me to CVS to get a soda. I was thinking that wasn't enough to kill me so I went inside and bought an Arizona Green Tea and a bottle of 100 Tylenol and swallowed them all by the time I got back to the car.

Live on because of her. If she means this much to you then you probably had a good relationship with her, she wouldn't want you to do this.

Hey man joining the army is exactly what I did I was in a dark place thought of killing myself but I was to scared too. But I got fit actually enjoyed it and did join the army and I joined cause Fuck man if I hate myself might as well do something with my body then just kill it. But I had a medical problems being their and got kicked but I still highly recommend it. It help with my depression has a goal bad found my love of working out which really helps with my depression. And art work what kind drawings or oil painting if your any good should post some online especially red dot they love that shit. See you have got stuff going for you just got to find even if it's tough sometimes

Dam man what's so bad that you want to end your own life

But you are fine now?

Then I sat there in the car having a Mexican stand off not telling her what was going on. I must have sat there for about 20nminites before I started feeling horrible. I told her I was feeling well and to just take me to the urgent care down the road...

When I got there I told them I took 15 Advil and I was feeling sick from it...

When was this?

I was at the urgent care thinking I destroyed my liver and kidneys and I have to just ride this out and die because if they keep me from dying I will probably have to be on dialysis until I get a new kidney or be on a waiting list for a liver.

After about 20 more minutes of being there I am in such extreme pain that I fess up and I told the doctor there that I took 100 Advil and 100 Tylenol. They get me in an ambulance quick and rush me to a real Hospital down the road into the ER or ICU.

I start going in and out of consciousness and start throwing up what looks like white paste. They didn't believe i took all what I said...

As far from it as possible. Don't see the point in killing yourself when you're destined to die anyway.

This next bit was hazy. I don't know what they gave me or what they did really because I was going in and out of consciousness. They had a nurse babysitting me 24/7 and when I finally came too I thought I was fucking hallucinating because the nurse watching me was a girl from high school that I was Facebook friends with and we knew the same people but we weren't really friends. Literally the .month prior in was fb stalking her photos thinking how pretty she was and wondering why I never noticed it before.

Fuck sorry for the late reply
Basically I got with one of my friends ex girlfriends (ik it's my fault, I shouldn't have done that shit) but basically he got our whole friend group I guess to go against me now everyone hates me, I fucking hate myself and the thing is me and his ex didn't work out so fuck my life lmao

Some just don't see the point in carrying onward. With no reason to continue why wait to die?

was pretty close once about 16 yo, stood with kitchen knife pointing at my heart. After about 3 years of being beaten up at school, 5 years I was pawn in parents divorce, my grandma was also pain in the ass for me. Only friend was a total bich and gave no support at a time. Got robbed and beaten up after school, at home I was beaten by mom couse i lost my phone to robbers.

Why does he care so much about that? Did you cuck him?

I said her name and she said I knew you were going to freak out when you realized who I am. It was kind of ironic because years prior she made a depressed post on MySpace and I commented something nice.

Anyways we got to talking and I was in the hospital for 4 more days. I really got to know her as a friend and then I was really crushing hard because of what I just been through. My girlfriend was a champ though, she spent the night at the hospital 2 of the nights.

I ended up fucking the hot ass nurse 2 weeks later after going out for drinks with her. This was 5 years ago and my liver and kidneys are fine and my very sane gf is asleep next to me in the bed right now. I don't have any thoughts of suicide either.

lol

Fuck man that blows make 1 silly mistake and all your friends fuck off they are some shitty friends. But hey man this is a learning curve and plus those friends are not the greatest friends if 1 the guy Hayes you so much that he makes it so you have no friends and 2 all the others are sheep and follow him. I reckon what you should do is find a how hobby something small something you enjoy and meet people from their like I go to the gym and I have meet a lot of friends from their so just do your thing even got to a bar and took to some guys that's seem friendly they will be better then your old friends.

That sounds awful. How are things going now? I hope it could only go uphill from there...

don't ever try to kill yourself this way. I read somewhere afterwards that this is one of the most painful ways to kill yourself and it usually takes about 2-3 days to finally happen.

Wow I couldn't imagine that kind of life sorry you had to go though that what is your life now?

Quite the story, pretty cozy to read in bed actually.

Hey man congratulations it's all ways nice to hear success stories thank you.

Nah, the most painful way to kill yourself is alcohol. Takes years too.

been thinking of it daily for the past few years, it seems to boil down to methods one has access to and whether they are ones one is willing to try in a heartbeat eg. firearms

Yeah, this was about 5 years ago. I thought for sure my kidneys or liver were going to be fucked. I stayed in for 4 more days and they released me. I then had a doctor's note that showed I was in the ER/ICU so I got to keep both of my jobs. So it actually saved my life trying to kill myself lol.

Really sorry to hear that you feel that way what makes you want to end your life?

Most people can obtain a gun pretty easy, what's stopping you?

I wish I could tell you how to get out of your shitholes Anons, but the truth is I am an entitled white faggot from a rich and secure country. I wouldn't know what to tell you, because I've never been there with you.

All I'll say is if you have access to the internet, you have access to tutorials and tips/tricks videos. Use that!

Feeling depressed? - Mental health videos, depression forums
Don't have friends? - Tutorials and tips/tricks on going out.
Want a job? - Tutorials on smart scanning for jobs you like and how to get them.
Want support? - suicide hotline, internet forums, mental health videos.

I could go on and on. Internet is a shitty place, but there are good parts. Help yourself anons! You're all gonna make it!

Ae so you failed to kill yourself successfully lol.

Idrk he's a fucking sensitive guy, which is alright I guess but at the same time shit happens, he was pretty abusive tbh to his ex and idk why he got so mad over it, he broke up with her 3 times before she finally did and that was the end of the relationship, he's really stubborn and all his relationships have ended from him being too toxic

Yeah thanks man I appreciate it, I hate myself and I want to change myself but at the same time I can't deal with the embarrassment of doing something irregular of myself, I might go to the gym a bit idrk though, I guess time will tellllllllllll

if 100% is doing it
I am at a .02% going with the boys to fest this weekend and bbq with my girl

All you need to do is get your ass out of your damn house and enjoy life before you become a sack of depress crap

the only thing stopping me from killing myself tomorrow or any other morning is my boyfriend. killing yourself is probably the most awkward and painful way to break up with someone, and i don’t even wanna break up with him.

P close every time i look at you Yea Forumsfags i want to die

Honestly it's just nice to talk to others about it, also the people here are kind enough to put a smile on my face. Still appreciate this though, and it's good you're a beacon of hope for others around.

Got a sig p226 .40 Cal back before Christmas, but somehow the date I picked (3/26) came and went. I've got a dog now though, so it's gonna be harder to actually pull the trigger unless he's taken care of

Now it is fine, i have fiance, parents after divorce act like normal ppl, grandma changed attitude thowards me couse i saw her shitfaced once (she was an alcoholic) and gave her my support. I have a good job (engi at power plant) and evrything is going fine right now. Sometimes i have flashbacks of that time and it makes me to fall into some nihilistic shit that i feel completly nothing. But thats all.

Are you 12? Get off of b/ and go to school. You are weak

Thanks man. It's not like I can really just openly tell this story to many people because it sounds crazy and people will judge.

I really contemplated where my life should go from there. I had feeling for the nurse because she was super hot and had a good job, but I also just started a relationship. But the nurse also seduced me. When we went out for drinks she remembered how I told her Adderall makes me horny and basically turns me into a porn star...

As soon as last call ended at the bar she showed me that she has 3 Adderall and to take them and stay up with her. while the sex was amazing I ironically couldn't be with someone that was willing to give me drugs after a suicide attempt and fuck me especially after my girlfriend spent the night at the hospital 2 nights.

What a happy fucking ending if I've ever heard one. Good on you for pulling your life together, I wouldn't be able to do that.

>what's stopping you
the EU
Believe me or not, just "hunting" and "target practice" isn't enough these days, the cops are on their toes on the matter in Europe because of hugely elevated suicide rates, you will need an entirely clean background and even then you may need to obtain a psych doctor's evaluation which costs money like in my case and since I don't have that kind of money I've been postponing visiting a psych doc
it's simply not enough to wish to hunt and or do target practice if you aren't American or live in one of the few European countries such as the Czech republic or Switzerland where getting a gun is easier. Luckily in the future 3D printed guns will be a common thing so not all hope is lost. And it's basically about money anyways so somebody richer than me could probably pay their way to firearm ownership due to private doctors being willing to diagnose you as sane if you pay them. BTW one could even now 3D print a gun such as Liberator if you only got access to a common iron nail and a round, you can obtain all kinds of rounds at shooting ranges, those instructors tend to breath down your neck though so you will need a high pickpocket score to snatch a round at a shooting range. I've been looking into things like this but not super seriously though, I'm mostly just talking out of my ass so nevermind.

Sounds like you have a good boyfriend, live for him because you both want each other, easy.

Hey man the embarrassment it's all in your head trust me no one judges you if you are doing something new shit most people at the gym I know a good friends of mine and they are the most biggest and strongest guys in their and we all will help everyone out if they need it if we see a new person come to the gym the only thing we are thinking is good on them because we have all been their and if the gym is not your thing ever place should be like that maybe try mma a sport where it's a club and everyone is family and the best people teach the new people and everyone is very humble. Pleease don't be embarrass about getting out their be proud cause it's not easy and is worth it.

Wow you must be struggling then what's so hard that you even think about killing yourself

every one would, only thing you have to do is to not give a fuck about shit that is going on. plus find something that will distract you or help you feel better. I had a very loud music (partially deaf right now) headphones and Offspring Americana + some CoD MW1 at a time.

The 3/26 why did you pick that ladies have a special meaning to you?

3 months away, when I turn 21. I'm using my tax return to buy a gun

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Fuck you and your question. Clinical depression doesn't always have a trigger or cause, for some of us it's just a facet of my shitty fuckin brain. I wake up every morning wishing I hadn't. I go to bed hoping I won't wake up. I find it impossible to plan for it save for the future, because I have no future - only each miserable day, as it comes

Hey man that's amazing to hear and I totally understand where your coming from those flash just Fuck with you and depression has a tight grip when it's their glad your doing better.

First off the EU needs the 2nd amendment, the lack of freedom there might be the cause of all the suicides. Also people are going to kill themselves no matter what gun laws exist, all they're doing is stuffing out freedom. As for the 3d printer bit, they're really convenient and can help with many things. I used one once to print out a cool 3d design I made of a guitar.

As someone who miracously survived a near fatal car wreck, and years later survived overdosing on pills on purpose... make a change in your life. Do something different. Set a goal, get a pet, start an exercise plan. Do something different.

And if you still want to kill yourself, I saw a documentary that in the Netherlands you can choose to do euthanasia even if you are young or depressed. Death is final though, but if you choose to do it, make sure it's done by a professional and with no pain.

Thanks for the advice man, I'll try to get out more and be active, cheers

Yeah man I think she was the perfect person to get you feeling great again but yeah you probably dodged a bullet their she's probably a real fine nice woman but yeah drugs to someone who just abused them probably not the smartest thing for her to do but hey all worked out in the end

I wanted it to be far enough away from birthdays and Christmas, mostly

Very close. I just haven’t found the resolve to actualize it. I’m preping myself for it. I killed my dog a few weeks ago, strangled her. If I can take the life of another being, surely I can take my own, right?

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goddamit, this shit pisses me off. white people are dying from opioid epidemic and suicides. This is the number one cause of death for white males. Do something meaningful with your life like a Brenton Tarrant and at least die for a cause.

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I'll kill myself as soon as I believe half the people that know me wouldn't have a "told you" sort of situation. This shit needs to be a surprise since none of these two faced cunts actually care.

how old was your dog?

Shooting and hanging yourself is about as final as it gets, 100%. Why would I need a pro when I could just shoot my brain and let the slipknot do its thing heh. On the other hand I wouldn't mind the pentobarbital they got at Dignitas but you got to be 50+ and wealthy and I'm nowhere near 50 nor rich. It's stupid how the sjws have won in Europe. We need a third war.

Hey man sorry if I pissed you off everyone is different so that's why I ask. But thank you for answering anyway. Sounds like your going though hell and I'm sorry there's nothing I can do.

Fuck you, I bet you thousands of dollars that my broke ass doesn't have that your life is far easier than mine, yet you go and get depression like a fag, fuck off and I genuinely hope you kill yourself.

Ohhhh yeah makes sense so what happened on that day didn't it just go or what?

What you killed your dog wtf man why?

Pretty close. I'm in the final stage of emphysema and the everyday struggle to simply breathe is becoming overwhelming. Life has become a four star pain in the ass and I'm tired of participating. There are things worse than death... believe it.

Why not find new friends that would care they all sound.like fuckin sucks anyway

you have to be at least 50? I thought as long as you wanted to end your life you could. There's plenty of people that survive a gunshot wound or just paralyze themselves from a hanging. That was always a fear I had when In was suicidal. I survived swallowing a shit ton of pills and haven't felt suicidal since.

12

Hey man you okay what you mean his life is easier how bad is yours?

well, shooting yourself is final unless you manage to blow off your face by aiming at your chin which is what you aren't supposed to do, but aim at the roof of the mouth or temple is the way to go, and hanging is final too if you do it alone you'll just end up like Keith Flint

Sorry to hear that see people like you should be allowed to kill yourself that's gotta not be a great life would you still live if it was legal and not painful like what they do in some countries

things are kinda looking up for me after 2 years of hell
and before that 12 years of dead-endiness.
i've got job interviews coming up
and people seemingly interested in interacting with me
weird shit.

you should have taken your dog to the vet and had her put down. killing a pet with your bare hands should be harder than killing yourself... why are you still alive?

Fuck u buddy. I wish you were one of those white males killing themselves. Also not male, fag

I appreciate your concern but it doesn't matter anymore, even if I kill myself it won't matter, no home, friends, family (that actually cares), no job, no education past high school, and no money. I spend my time sober in the library because the librarian in the mornings is nice enough to let me be here. Genuinely considering an act of terrorism so I can go to prison.

You think I don't know people have it worse than me? There's fuckers in way worse situations that aren't even depressed, its why I know I'm such a piece of trash. I do my best to help other people out at least - i often buy lunch or gas or something for guys under me at work.

Before I take my own life, I need to take the life of a being emotionally close to me—so I can comprehend the effect I’ll have on my parents when I commit suicide.

Dude that's terrible but you can get out of this slump trust me but if you do anything illegal you will be screwed why not find a book club and talk to the librarian trust me if you join a.book club you will get to know people and meet real people who care and are nice and getting a job will be easier more people you know easier to get a job I have gotten 3 jobs just cause I knew someone and no interview just connections. I only recommend the book club cause you go to the library and think you enjoy reading

I'm looking for happy little accidents on every occation.
But it's like the rest in life, when you want it to happen it will never.

In some weird way I understand that and this scares me the big reason why I didn't kill myself was others. Now you have taken that out you are very very likely to do it now as you took the things they made you not out of this world. Is their any hope for you what's changed to where you are this confident in ending your life.

Not at all

Sorry, not going to happen. While I wouldn't do what Brenton Tarrant did, my life has meaning and I wouldn't want to leave my daughter without a father. Do something that has meaning to your life if you are just going to throw it away.

By the way that Brenton Tarrant manifesto really speaks to the disenfranchised white male that are being passed up for jobs because of affirmative action and being passed over for college admissions for minorities with lower test scores and with this SJW bullshit blaming white men for everything, they are going to fight back.

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I've seen what looks like a book club at the back occasionally. I spend a lot of my time that I'm allowed here on the computers, but I'll start with talking with the morning librarian (they switch at noon and the one that comes in doesn't let me be here since I can't afford a library card and just sit on the computer most of the time) about trying to join a book club. He's actually really nice to me and though I wouldn't consider him a friend, I am comfortable enough talking with him that I can ask about it.

>you should have taken your dog to the vet and had her put down
Would’ve cost close to 100 dollars. Why should I pay a ‘professional’ that cash when I just do it myself?
>killing a pet with your bare hands should be harder than killing yourself
No, it’s just a fucking animal.
Get your priorities straight, you overly emotional moron.

>By the way that Brenton Tarrant manifesto really speaks to the disenfranchised white male that are being passed up for jobs because of affirmative action and being passed over for college admissions for minorities with lower test scores and with this SJW bullshit blaming white men for everything, they are going to fight back.

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Hey man you might need to be a bit more caring about mental illness especially when you have a child if you are like this and you child God for bid has depressions anxiety bipolar or anything that can screw your life over they will need their find to care and love them and if you act like this you will increase the risk of them ending their own life.

Holy shit are you fucked up.

>what's changed to where you are this confident in ending your life
Let’s not jump the gun. I’m going to kill at least another one or two dozen animals before I off myself.

About 5 more years of hard drinking should do it.

I almost hanged myself. The noose broke

100$ was too much to put your dog down? Go get a garden hose and put it in your exhaust pipe and close the windows in your car. Oh wait, you don't have $100 so you probably don't even have a car.

go shoot up a mosque and then suicide by cop.

>The noose broke

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psychopathic shit. Don't kill yourself plz - I'd rather you suffer longer.

You should kill yourself.

Get real rope, and tie the noose right. How much do you weigh?

acknowledging white genocide in western countries and replacement migration with low birth rates of whites is happening.

like I said, I wouldn't do anything because I am older and have a daughter, but I can see similar acts like what happened in New Zealand occurring in the future.

>Don't kill yourself plz
I’ve no interest doing such a thing, I’m having the time of my life.

You're crazier than I am

I was close to doing so about six months ago, but somehow depression just started to leave. Higher self esteem makes it so that now I think someone else would kill me due to my convictions, taken that I live in Mexico, than me killing myself.

I've overdosed 4 times. I tried getting run over by a train but was spotted. I tried jumping in front of a train a 2nd time but was tackled by police.

I cut and burn myself every week. I was just recently sectioned for like the 20th time. I walk a thin line daily.

Yeah, don't go the train route... I hear it gives the conductors ptsd and it will cause whatever shipments to be late. plus the mess to clean you up is horrible.

That's the plan

discord
[Ib]-I-I23I-I-[dI]
.gg/vvftDyy

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I would already be dead if I had a gun

The mbta is heartless. Also fuck bostonians. If I cause a 30+ minute delay on the red line at least my death would be impactful.

Really fucking close. I've already attempted 4 times and the last two times I managed to go as far as losing consciousness (hanging and OD) but only failed because I was caught so I know that I'm not too much of a pussy to do it.

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how does it feel to be so much of a failure that you cant even kill yourself right

Very shitty; I beat myself up over it literally every single day, thanks

like waiting for the drop at a Skrillex concert, only been waiting 15yrs. can't be much longer, can it?

Love yourself my man....fight through the depression, fight through the hate.
Try try try your absolute best to change your environment. Let go....this life is about letting go.
Stay strong and healthy bub....I'm rooting for you.