Would you recommend joining the military? I have no redeeming features and I need money

I don't know what that means but alright.

Yes but only sign up for a short contract in case you end up not liking it at some point (very probable).
Perfect time to save as much money as you can, learn something (you'll have a lot of idling time), discipline your life, and become good at sports.
Unless you plan on being sent fighting a war for Israel, in this case don't enlist.

Okay thanks.

Marine here, i drive heavy equipment all day, good trade and have yet to see any combat or even chance of seeing combat. No matter the branch if war happens, youre going, sucks to say. Also pay rates are pretty much the same, servicewide.

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Air Force will give you the best quality of life, I would avoid army as it's a good way to fuck up your knees/back. Navy could be good if you like to travel but you'll be on a ship at sea a lot depending on trade and low rank people on ships get shit on a lot.

Get some kind of training or experience so that you can eventually kickstart a civilian side career, but if you end up liking it then stay mil because it can be hard to get back in once you're out.

Thanks.

Also all branches need all kinds of people. That includes things like logistics, clerks to make sure everyone gets paid, maintenance personnel for various vehicles/aircraft/equipment. If you don't want to see combat, pick a support trade - they almost all have a civilian equivalent too so if you get out you can get a good career instead of being a burger flipper.

Keep in mind even support trades can be deployed, so you might spend a few months overseas somewhere. There's always the possibility of "general duties" too, wherein you get deployed just to be a body around the base doing odd jobs and whatever. A lot of times they look for volunteers first though, they only voluntell people if they can't get enough people by asking nicely.

I'm not good in any subject. One of the things I worry about is not being good for enough for any trade. I may just get stuck as a cook.

If you're going into the army I'd suggest mp honestly but if I had to pick a branch I'd personally go air force. Two of my uncles flew helos [transport] back in Vietnam and ever since then flying has been in my blood. I've also heard a lot of great things you learn while in the military, so if you've got no plans and are a NEET maybe consider it.

Aussie soldier here. Dont do it if its because your a useless cunt.

If I'm a useless cunt I figured I would go in the military to change that.

don't break down crying in boot camp just because you thought it would be free college

They'll teach you, and worst case you switch trades. Try to think of what kind of thing you want to go do 5 days per week. Clerks do paperwork all day in an office environment, mechanics work with their hands, you could get into a systems operator position such as ground or air based radar operators or communications systems. There's all kinds of shit for all levels.

Also cook isn't all bad, and can lead to being a line chef civilian side (ie, not minimum wage bs).

Just don't go infantry, don't let them talk you into it, unless you really want to get into that. It'll destroy your body.

Dunno.

I've never been in the military.

But boy oh boy has the military been in me.

If I'm not cut out for any of it, infantry is my last option. I don't want to fight but if I get paid better than my current status now then I'd rather take it. I'm just considering everything else first.

Did you do well in school?

join the navy or air force
don't shoot sand niggers
sit in a chair do bullshit work, make decent (at best) money, get college paid for
It's not a bad gig my dude, really. I joined because I didn't have shit else going for me and I just bought a house

No I barely passed high school.

you're going to be fighting for israel (a foreign country that does not care about the US).

I'm surprised the military even holds itself together nowadays, why do people even bother to fight?

I'm grateful for America but the only reason I'm considering the military is for money, nothing more nothing less.

Are you good with your hands?

I'd consider myself average.

Average is enough to get into vehicle mechanics, it's a short contract so if you hate it you can get out after maybe 2 years or less. If you hate the whole job then worst case you're back to square one but without any education debt, so there's not much to lose.on the other hand if you like it you'll have a great job and there's always demand for mechanics so you'll have decent job security no matter where you go.

If you like it and you're good at it, try to transfer to any form of aviation technician. They're basically mechanics for airplanes, cool as shit job and it's air force so it's more chill. Don't go that route if you're not good though, I don't want to die because my plane crashed from a tech screwing up and not getting noticed.

Noted, thanks for the advice.

a french doctor died 2 days ago in a fcking muslim country

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What's it like being a pilot?

Nah, sign up to be in the ems

yeah then i guess you could join. whatever

It's shit. Pays horrible and it's very fucking boring most of the time

It can't be worse than how it is for me now.

Then better your life by not joining the military and get schooled

It would certainly take you out of your current environment and lifestyle

I have considered that before but I think I'll take my chances. Thanks for the heads up though. It may be shit to some people but I see the military as a head start for my second chance at life.

Been in the Israeli special forces for 3 years of mandatory service.
my opinion, you will regret signing it for most of the time there but as soon as you get out you'll come to appreciate it.
it matures you and definitely develops you , you might find friends there that will be more than brothers but, this is gonna suck really bad . military discipline is hard and not for everyone, if you do this get ready for a very challenging time both mentally and physically

I never expected the military to be easy.

I'm in the military. In the navy. I like it, and it pays well.
But it depends on the country. I'm in a euro country with comfortable accommodation on board, loads of freedom and variety of tasks.
I know that's different in the US navy, there you basically have 1 job, the least amount of responsibility and you are just a number. So sleeping with 64 in 1 space, lack of freedom, no drinking in harbors, poor salary etc..

Armyfag here. The military full of a lot of dumb bullshit, but really no more than your average day job. All in all, if you have fuck all else to do with your life then do it. It sucks at times, but it can also be a lot of fun. You get what you put in.
If you do enlist, my advice is do your best to take every benefit you can from the service because they’ll take as much as they can from you.

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Did 4 years in the army. I fucking hated it at first, but once I got out I missed it so much. Now I am looking to join the Navy

Honestly, if I wasnt a pilot, I would do loadmaster. Marines and air force have the best slots for this. You learn how to load the cargo plane, and you go with the plane wherever it goes so you can unload it. Not to mention it could lead to a great job civilian side with fedex or ups

Im pretty sure this shit is country and probably formation specific so you might save yourself some time by saying where extacly you consider joining.

There is nothing for me at the moment so I'll take what I can get.

Fuck yeah hoo rah

Don’t go infantry unless you want to be a part time killer, full time janitor.
Jokes aside, get training in a field or trade that will set you up for success after you get out.

Everything is an option for me. Infantry is the last thing I'd want to do but it's still an option.

I did 9 years in the Air Force as a TACP. Got a little boring and outside of blowing shit up everything was just busy work. I'd recommend only to get the gi bill

You can do combat construction. You can make FOBs while in the army, then take that trade and get a good construction job in civilian life

I’m assuming you’re planning on joining the US military? You should take the ASVAB to see what jobs you can land. The army may be fucktarded, but at least you can pick and choose your job. If you score the points for something and there’s no slot available, don’t be afraid to wait for one to open. I’m pretty sure the navy lets you choose as well, but the USMc and USAF don’t typically.
Just go talk to a recruiter, but just approach them the same way you would a car dealership

discord
[dlb]-l14l-[dlb]
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Stfu faggot. OP I'm enlisting into the Army at 28 soon. I'm going for a STEM related MOS. No combat, and you'll be getting paid to earn a shit ton of certifications that would cost you thousands as a civilian. Go Air Force or Navy if you're young. I'm only going Army for a faster enlistment because AF and Navy are very selective and me going into either branch right now would be akin to winning the lottery. Take it seriously and READ YOUR FUCKING CONTRACT. Always go for the enlistment bonuses and make sure it's in the contract. Fuck recruiters. Most of them don't give a fuck about you and will straight up lie to you just to get you to enlist into the first MOS available. Do your research and treat it like University.

I bet they had shitty jobs. Smart people go for STEM careers. Fuck cooks and infuntry men.

Alright thanks.

There’s also tuition assistance for college classes while active duty, Tricare full health care coverage, retirement options, shit man I got corrective eye surgery paid for by the army. There’s a lot of good shit and a lot of bullshit. It just depends on your leadership and where you end up.

I bet you’re going 17C huh?

Air Force is the best but you have to sign up for 4 years. Still, you are not going to be on the front lines fighting. Some people like this type of life. At least you will get to travel an see other parts of the world.I think you should sign up.

Do any of you know if the military will accept former potheads?

They don’t give a flying fuck, as long as you weren’t caught selling it

Also what happens if you lie to a recruiter?

They will most likely put you where they need people. You will go for technical training after basic for a few months in the Air Force or Navy. Most people get thru the training and then you will receive orders for deployment to a base. You usually don't get to choose where you go.

Close to nothing unless you end up with a job that requires a security clearance.

Don't listen to the Aussie fag. You will have many good experiences and maybe have a job that will help you find work after you get out. I only stay 4 years in the Air Force, but my brother stayed 22 years and got a job with the post office after he retired.

Try to find other jobs first
Everything else, dont be picky
Learn to mix drinks and to draught beer and work as Barkeeper

I'm only considering the military even though chances are I will be enlisting. Right now I'm only getting myself ready. There's a chance I may find a good job before I decide but that might not happen.

Hey thanks

Depends where you live. In the us vets are treated like shit by the government, for example.

I never joined but my wife is Air National Gaurd and I have friends in every branch. Most people like it. I knew one guy though with depression that just absolutely hated being in. He tried to kill himself and got medical discharge. If you can't handle being away from home don't join. Otherwise the military takes care of you,. Where you sleep, food, what you're doing, I knew a different guy who joint the marines. He said that basic was easy because he never had to think, everything was taken care of and he just did what he was told. I think Whether to join or not depends a lot on your personality.

He'll fucking yes. That's what I hope to go for, but if it's not available or I can't enlist for it my backups are 25S and 25N

They tell you to lie the majority of the time to avoid paper work (Mainly for small/trivial medical reasons). If you like about misdemeanors or felonies (hard to lie about since they can pull up your record) then you're going to go to jail when they find out.

Went to teen court once for marijuana and they said they would take it off my record. Do you know if they can still see that?

If you try to go into the navy don't go into nuclear. If you don't have a drive to do it, you'll start failing classes, then they'll send you out on a ship to lick the paint off the hull

>was going into army at age 18
>76 on asvab, was going to be infantry
>months before meps had psychotic break and arrested
>been on probation for 3 years, technically never convicted of my burglary charges because deferred adjudication
>former recruiter says i can't get in due to history of mental illness

Any chance i could just go to another towns recruiting station and lie? I don't know what to tell them about the burglary charges they'll inevitably see though

22 now btw

In a similar situation I would also like to know.

Yes. Recruiters hide all sorts of shit. Mine just omitted my overdose from my application and told me to never mention it.

Military is for losers who were too lazy for get a real job. Become a cop.

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This is a good suggestion. I'll think about it.

If they said your record will be expunged then it's gone. Don't mention shit. The only things the military will have access to, on the initial background check, is arrest records and charges that stuck. Only time they might find out about something like that is if they do extensive background checks for Top Secret clearances. Don't mention anything if you're going for an occupation that only requires a secret or lower clearance. You'll be ok, user.

You sound beta.
Let me put it this way.
Just like college, the military isn't for everyone. If you can handle doing some pushups, curlups, and good 2 mile runs, and don't have 1 of these that applies to you:
A) Depression
B) Anxiety
C) Low Self Esteem
D) A small dick
E) Thinking about suicide
F) Lazy
If you don't, you are good to go. Military dies not make you fail. Your officers/DI will work with you to make yourself a better person. They are not there to fail you. If you cant be with your division, theh will held you back to continue on working with you as a person. Youll have at least 3 chances before you get the booted out of boot camp. That applies to any military branch. Your lucky since 25+ years ago, you wouldn't have any chances.
There will be a lot of screaming, just think of it as your mom punishing you x10. I grew up in a loud house and its white noise for me. It will really help you as a person. Youll get bonuses and allowence (like feee rent and free grocery) that makes you able live on your own. With the GI Bill, you are able to gain 50k in tution for any yellow ribbon college, meaning, youll have another chance to get a jump start in your life.

>I have no redeeming features and I need money

It's not a bad gig for a useless sack of shit like you. Just sign up for a low-density MOS that has some parallel in the civilian world (e.g. Logistics, Cyber, etc) do out your contract and move on with your life.

>I have no redeeming features and I need money.
Do you know the term "cannon fodder"? No? You say you never read a book that wasn't mostly pictures? Didn't pay attention in school?
You are exactly the kind of loser they are looking for.

OP is a dickhead. He's 11B material.

>useless cunt
Ha. Who else would contemplate joining the military?

US Airman here

If you've got nothing going for you, the military can be a good jumping off point IF AND ONLY IF you get a job that transfers well to the outside. If you jib is to fire guns, you're setting yourself up for failure. Get something like cyber, earn your certs, get your clearance, work on your degree on TA, and bounce to greener pastures. I have a couple of buddie ahead of me who are making 80-100k+ because they worked hard at being marketable on the outside.

If you plan on making it a long term thing, one of two things must be true: you either become an officer and pretty much never work again on that sweet sweet o5 retirement check, or you have a super hard on for being enlisted military and getting the big Green dick every day.

If/when you do get out, the GI Bill is one of the best benefits the service will give you. You get paid to go to college.

As for actually being in (and I can't speak for other services.).. it sucks and rocks at the same time.
Pros:
-Tricare. Tricare is awesome. No medial bills for anything for you (and your dependas is you have em)
-Espirit de corps. Being in uniform makes you family to a lot of people. When I was a civilian, I never would have expected strangers to leap so far to help me when stuff comes up. You will never feel so close to your coworkers on the outside.
-getting paid to be fit. I literally get an hour out of every work day to go to the gym. This isn't true everywhere though.
-seeing the world. You get lots of travel opportunities. Some people get shafted and stuck in one base forever though
-may or may not get to do/see some pretty cool shit. I got paid to fly on a Blackhawk the other day to do emergency maintenance on an army fort's comms.
-GI Bill and other education benefits. Cannot reiterate this enough.

Cons
-the pay sucks. Yea after a few years housing pay + base pay kinda bring you up to par. But if youre in a technical career, you will bemoan people tripling your pay on the outside
1/2

-morale is almost always in the dirt. I see this everywhere I look. Leadership says it cares, but to the frozen middle you are a cog in the machine.
-Military medical is notoriously garbage and can't be sued for it. If you have a problem, go off base. Friend of mine tore his acl and was given morn and a pat on the back.
-hours can suck depending on what you do. I work 12s pretty often. If you deploy, it's always 12s
-chance of getting shot at. Depends on ehat you do and what base you're at, but deployments are an inherent risk. I'm fortunate my job never deploys at my base.
-administrative bullshit. The military is a beaurocracy. There is red tape everywhere, and someone is always trying to make your job harder.
-you can't quit. In real world jobs if your work environment is toxic, you can submit your 2 weeks and quit. In the military, you often just have to sit down and color. Nearly bit my tongue off yesterday trying not to yell at someone who out ranks me and was trying to tell me to do something blatantly stupid.

Tons of typos because this was written up while sitting on the sitter at work. Whatever, I eat crayons for a living