when i was a kid i was sexually abused for a long time by a family member, and i know there are procedures parents can take to notice when their kid is being abused, there are hints that are universally recognized by parents. but i straight up told my dad one day that i was being touched, and nothing ever came out of it. the abuse continued for a long time after that. ended when i was about 15, and now i'm 20. i have talked to my mom about it and she blames herself and victimizes herself. i have comforted her more than she has me. it's okay. i want her to feel better. but she has not helped me. i have not helped myself. my abuser is dead. i don't have sex or talk to people in person, i have two online friends but i don't want to bother them with this stuff. my days are boring and long and at night i have dreams about it. i don't know what to live for or what to do. would you kill yourself in my situation? i don't experience sexual pleasure, and i hardly eat, so there's no real chemical pleasures for me. i just do school work and play video games and read on repeat. i'm very hollow. how should i go about this? sorry
When i was a kid i was sexually abused for a long time by a family member...
an hero
>told my dad
>nothing ever came out of it
he was pimping you out
yes, i've considered this possibility
how much do you think he got for you?
maybe try to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist?
greentext details
Truly. This is the reason these people exist. Go talk to someone trained to help you get through this.
i dont think it was a monetary exchange. i think everyone knew what was happening and let it happen for a continued sense of peace in the family. no one wanted to intervene of disrupt whatever fake "harmony" they had. so i think it continued not for material benefits. but because they were too pathetic or scared to help me.
You need progressional help. Go and see a psychologist
So you can masturbate ?
What this dude said.
You're traumatized, anyone would be after being molested for multiple years. It's obviously taking a toll on your life.
It's not a flaw with you, it's the consequences of abuse. These things won't be fixed in a day, and you've got the rest of eternity to be dead. Go see a therapist, and go through them until you find one you trust.
i guess i always figured that psychologists were working towards some ultimate goal of a "better state" of being. but i don't really have an idealized one. i don't even have a past self or a vision of the world or my life that's clear from what happened to me. i don't know what i'd want out of it or anything. what would be the ultimate purpose? i feel like whatever success would come out of it would be just a temporary elongation of what i'm currently experiencing. but maybe not
Finding meaning in your life can be sometimes hard buddy. Even if you haven't got an idealized self or experienced an ultimate state of being it does not mean that you cannot find one. As other user said you have the rest of eneternity to be dead. Maybe the point is to emphasize that there is nothing intrinsinctly wrong with you, but the environment around may make you think that. Definetely go and seek some profesional help.
PD:Take a pic at this book. Man's Search for Meaning. Viktor Frankl
Finding that state of being is what they help you find. They don't go out giving you a step by step recipe that'll solve all your issues. They try and direct you in a way that allows you to help yourself. This can all sound like a oh why can't I do this myself sort of thing, but having that different look on things helping you dig deeper into your own problems rather than assuming things so that they can properly be resolved is what they do best. If there is a chance of feeling tons better about everything why not take it?
thank you, you're very kind to me. i'm nervous though. i don't want any "restorative therapy" among my family and i don't want any of that treatment where you have to describe it or relive it over and over to become numb to it. i assume i can opt out of these. if i decide to do this, and i think i need to, i genuinely hope it won't be futile. thanks again for being a good person
added to my to-read list, thank you. i like to read a lot, even though i'm a bit embarrassed by self-help books. i hope it will help me. cheaper than therapy, at least
Whoever you end up going to, tell them exactly that. They are people too, and you don't need to talk about anything you don't want to. I've been in a similar situation before, and am a thousand times better now. Best of luck to you, friend.
you a girl or a boy?
also what kind of comfort do you want?
someone hugging you and tell you that they feel sorry for you?
or what?
i don't get it
you know you're not the only one right?
also what did they do to you?
was it really that bad?
i see all those ex-kids models that have a family now and some of them even have pictures with their ex agressors?
what keeps you from moving on?
this hits home for me. Used to have nightmares about everyone I loved being murdered/having gruesome deaths when I was younger so I used to sleep in my brothers bedroom & one night outta nowhwre he made me suck him off & then hed suck me off. Idk if he ever knew about my nightmares but id cry before going into his room. Still had nightmares & so i still tried sleeping in his room but id always get touched & taken advantage of by him so eventually i had to just tough out my nighmares & sleep in my own room. That was in elementary. Im 20 now & its been eating away at me for the past 2 years. Why just the past 2 years? Why the fuck is it hitting me so hard outta nowhere? Im a depressed piece of shit now & everything always feels like a personal attack. I still see him every day too, fucker acts like nothing happened at all. I really do hope he drops dead, he doesn’t know how much anger & anxiety he has added to my life over the years. Life is pain Yea Forums
But that's Goro Majima
i don't have access to other survivors to ask them how to cope. that is why i came online for advice. that is what i was seeking. my entire identity was shaped around fear. nearly every decision i made for the majority of my life was made because of what i might experience at the hands of my sexual abuser. it shaped me into a very personalityless, robotic, fearful item that would endure sexual abuse if i were to make the wrong decisions. it was painful. i stayed in my room for a long time and did not eat. i'd urinate in bottles so i wouldn't have to leave. i never felt safe or clean or not violated. it is hardly a way to form an identity. and that is what keeps me from moving on.
Just be asexual. There's more to life than sex and the fact you don't enjoy sex doesn't mean you should kill yourself.
i'm sorry. it's really fucked up. i don't know why people see a fearful vulnerable child and decide to violate that autonomy. it ruins you. and they hardly even think about it. and for what? some fleeting pleasure? they're pathetic. i hope your brother gets hit by a car.
sunao ni i love you
i abused my sister like this and she seeks me oftenly and wants to talk to me also she has a family and moved on yet tries to reach out to me and never ratted on me.
dude grow up a pair you fag and get over it
being violated is it that bad ?
or you just make it bad?
>safe or clean?
clean? why do you care about that?
you know people don't care if you are a virgin or not right?
i don't care what other people see me as. i feel his hands on me. your body doesn't forget. i don't know how to rate it on a scale of "badness." all i know is that it shaped me into a very low-functioning and fearful person, and it is an unpleasant way to live.
it comes in smells and flashes of mental images. the pit of your own mind is deep and trying to kill myself is futile.
>oftenly
looks like your parents did the same you inbred fuck
Its disgusting & beyond me how anyone could do some shit like that. Stay up Yea Forumsro, we’ll get thru this shit
Lol
dont give up, skeleton!
>therapist
> the rapist
Your wallet will become as empty as your soul.
stop being fearful then grow up he or she is dead.
now you can resent your parents they will understand.
so just start living its never too late
It is a simple as this brother.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG!
Your molester is dead and rightly so.
They will never harm you again.
Time to move on.
Rather than a therapist find a hobby you love and join a group related to it.
You do not need to rehash this crime against you, forever. Move on and seek things that make you happy.
May peace be with you.
this is the same logic as "just stop being sad." psychosomatic stress responses ingrained into me from my formative years don't dissipate simply because i will them to. otherwise i would have done so by now. i hope this answers your questions.
thanks for the parrot
Just relax, you're still young. Things tend to pick up for people as they get a little older. Just put yourself out there, step out of your comfort zone, and don't take things too seriously.
Maybe sex isn't pleasurable because you need a genuine romantic connection or maybe you're just asexual. Either way, it's really not a big deal. Focus on career and self-improvement instead if you need an outlet, in time things will change.
this faggots. i have 4 personalities after being diddled you can't tell me to walk the shit off.
this is actually more helpful than anything else said so far, thanks!
>ugh im so sad ehat should i do?
>i know i will keep being sad
>how dare you user to tell me to stop being sad do you know I AM A VICTIM
go back to posting bbc and fb fap threads you newfag.
all you did was ask me questions. i answered them, and explained to you why it isn't easy to just "stop being sad." there has been genuinely helpful advice given here. just because you didn't provide it doesn't mean you need to victimize yourself. stop projecting.
society has conditioned us to focus on sexual abuse if it happens to us and to dwell on bad things, in reality that isn't helping anything. All you can do is live every day as if it was new and unconnected to the past, considering the past isn't real and the future hasn't happened yet. every second you aren't being raped its a good day. turn to god in Jesus name.
Same Thing happened in my family.
My sister was 6. I was 12. Used to rub against her and bust nuts. She told my mom. She did nothing.
Long story short. Those wank sessions got me kicked out the family. Was completely ostracised. Wish my mom had done something.
You live in the era of victims, just write a book about how you got buttraped and nobody cared and you will make a ton of cash. Then you can be rich and hollow which gives you a legit reason to do a shit ton of drugs.
Totally agree.
Some old man just got thrown in jail for touching a 14yo girl 30 years ago. Not rape or anything. It was on the soft side. But she said the crime made her drop of school and start drugs.
It's a fking JOKE but I'm not laughing. Not saying the dirty old man should not be punished. But jail. For not even getting your cock out?