Be me

>be me
>26 year old living with parents
>Unemployable because inconsistent work history doing unrelated odd jobs
>Can't work career because no certification "volunteering" doesn't pay bills
>Have to wait another year before I am reconsidered despite having all the prerequisites
>All I want is to be a good valuable member of society but all I get are fuck you's
>No light at the end of the tunnel and nothing to look forward to
>Siblings and peers surpassed me in every aspect of life
>what should I do
>Is it too late for me?
Thoughts? Opinions?
-Not a feels thread because I'm dead inside

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Shameless bump?

are you me

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Pick up a trade.

Pull yourself up by your fucking bootstraps you faggot motherfucker. I started with no experience and now I manage a whole aisle of target BY MYSELF. GET WRECKED FAGGOT. Go apply for job cleaning toilets FAGGOT

I'm a manager at my work, I hire people. Time for you to think like me to answer your question.

I got one job and two Resumes:
1) Good in school, took more education right out of HS, did part time jobs at school that gave her real world experience. Ready and motivated to work and join the team
2) This person was unfocused in school, took time off to "find themselves" after HS, odd jobs with different focus (cleaner, call center sales, roofer, babysitter), has shown no ambition in 26 years, no focus.

Both these candidates say"I am highly motivated and always solve any challenges and I am ready to energize your team!"

Who do you hire? If you say #2 put down the bong and grow up

Get a shitty job in something you are interested in. Get some skills, get some experience, PROVE to others that you are worth the risk to bring on board. If you have no ambition in life you get exactly that.

Good luck, but the days of hiring people on 'Project Bootstraps' are over. Too many good unemployed people out there, make yourself stand out.

Are you in America? You can get a job. Broaden your horizons and show some grit. Construction, union programs, restaurant, start your own business, just do SOMETHING.

I do look at it objectively which makes it seem hopeless. I don't have the best start but I have several years of steady improvement.

if you feel like you can do a certain job then lie on your resume. use friends phone numbers and tell them they used to be your supervisor and have them talk you up. make sure your friends arent retards and wont fuck it up for you. and dont apply for anything you know you cant figure out or be trained to do. ive been fudging resumes between each job while also having some truth on it and now I have a county job

I do work construction with my cousin every month or so. Again it's another odd job that doesn't build up to anything. I have construction dockwork and customer service experience. Applied to 100s of places and nothing. Nobody cares

>you're unhirable
>get a job
You realise the circular nature of what you're putting forth, right?

If you feel lost and hopeless you may just be fucking yourself.
Deep breathy, then another. Now suck it up and go to work. Eat shit for two years at a shitty job* and prove who you are.

*First job was at age 17 at McD's and I put up with that insane shithole for five years. Nothing, nothing, NOTHING in the world can better teach you how to be a team player and learn how shity customers are than that job. Do it. Smile. Eat their shit. Buy time. Then move on. I am home now, I am a Finance Manager for a large company and I am in the top 20% of income earners. And for five years I was ABUSED by fat lazy sweatpants wearing nobodys getting their jollys off on yelling at McDs workers. Oh I remember them, I had three walk into our doors looking for work. They never would remember me. But I remember them. Paybacks a slow biatch but worth the journy.

Good luck user. You see the issue, you are getting help, now go talk to a career counselor and find what drives you. Get in, start at the bottom and work your way up.

I believe in you. If no one else does. I do.

Rock on buddy you fucking got this!

In the same boat user

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>Unemployable because inconsistent work history doing unrelated odd jobs
That's fucking bullshit. Just because you can't the job you want doesn't mean you can't get one at all.

Yes. All journeys begin with a single step. Any career starts at the bottom. Get a lower shitjob to prove yourselve (see my post above on how much fun McDs was as a teenager!). You have to start on the bottom rung and work your way up.

Those who do not, and I seen plenty. Boss'es kid, managers cousin, rich kids brat. Every single one of them walked in with a false sense of entitlement and walked out with a boot to the hindside and a learning experience on just cus you are born on third base, you didn't hit a triple.

Stop sending resumes/CVs through the normal funnel and send them to friends/family who can give them directly to people already working the industry.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present:
The Boomer

You've clearly never experienced what OP is describing, which is being turned down from zero-hour retail jobs because of a lack of experience.

You literally just told him no-one will consider him for a job because he has no employment history, and he should remedy that by getting a job.

I'm having real difficulty phrasing what you said in a way that doesn't sound circuitous and facile, but I am trying really hard.

I'm sure you didn't mean to write "your problem getting a job is you need to get a job", but you've not really explained how what you meant is in any way different.

several options

>lie. like, a lot
>lie even more

I got most of the jobs I've gotten by bullshitting. I was always the worst employee there but hey, fuck wal mart I'm not gunna bust ass for those cucks

Typical boom advice. You get stuck in a shit hole position and you stay there your whole life living paycheck to paycheck

>why am I so retarded

heh

I literally tried that too. Yes hard work will get you ahead in life. But at this point in life I notice nothing is actually gained from doing shit jobs as far as moving to something better

Yeah, this.
All my resumes were basically just practice for what i do now - copywriting.
Fill in this gaps.
Stretch that 3 months to a year,.
Buy the boss a good bottle of scotch and say 'listen, Bill, if somebody was to call, could you have plausible deniabilty to confused me with somebody else who worked here three years?'

All the best jobs i know in construction cafe from guys i know pulling strings and using contacts and bullshtting and getting a cash course from their uncle.
Most jobs i got though an agency and working hard to get a contract, or though contacts, Many jobs advertised are just a legality, they maybe have already gone.

Another piece of counterintuitive advice i have found is to shift your perspective from 'applying for a position' to 'asking for a job'.
And if you like the interview or place you are doorstepping, Ask for it.
What i mean is,
Dont accept a callback or second interview.
Make them turn you down and explain why.
Most managers have never had to do it.

How much would you work for,
Or what do you like doing?

I am trying to help. What do you want me to say 'walk in and own the place in a week with no qualifications'? Not saying it's fair, not saying it is easy, I am saying it is necessary.

Dude I have been rejected so many times for jobs I felt like it was high school prom all over again. It took about 30 PFO letters (Please Fuck Off rejection letters) before I got my first shitjob. Shitjob two was about 30 more rejections. Now I have a great career and this job was the 12th place I applied for, that is still 11 rejections for one job. Even with experense, education and connections, it STILL isn't easy.

Jobs are like your first gf. Took forever to ask the first one out. Then you had no idea what the fuck you were doing, then years later you realized, holy shitballs I had no clue what I was doing or what I wanted, thank god that didn't work out!

That is life. Never the first girl, never the first job, hell for me I'm on wife #2 and job #7 and my life is good. Thats a shit ton of rejection

This Op, That's how I did it . I did odd jobs and did them phenomenally which led to bigger and better things. Give it 110% , you'll get noticed by the right people

I'm in the same situation but I never not gotten the job , must be your interview

I worked at post office, transport companies, courier companies - 80pc of employees were personal recommendations.
So befriend these motherfuckers and grease the wheels.
Shit i offered a guy i met on the bus a job a few months back.

i was 28 when i went to the harry lundenberg school of seamanship, make 60k a year now working as an AB on maersk containerships. look for a trade school thats free. Job Corps, etc. There out there, think about a trade you might like.

10$ something I can put on my resume that says I'm more than just a boxmover or cashier.

When i worked in remain - same - my cousin know the supervisor.
Construction - my other cousins BF was a manager there.
I filled in almost a year paying off a guy with some week to say i worked for him for a year

*retail not remain i'm stoned and tipsy.

Sounds nice but I'm already way to invested in medicine I can't just drop it and all the years I've already put in.

If it's that bad lie of the resume

Learn a trade you fuckin retard. Don't go to college.

You hit the bonus round when you make a fake employee security badge for your last job as a event security guy for 18 an hour

>never worked security in my life. went great feet kinda hurt after,

huh wait that means I have a skill..... bullshitting. hmm. Maybe I could teach dishonesty workshops?

Capitalism is fucking bullshit. I'd rather die than participate in this jewcucked system .

go tell the aliens.... oh wait..

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*some weed
Shit.

Its the way of the world son dont listen to these cucks.
I talked my fucking way into jobs and bullshtting is an art.
I stretch my post office job i got fired after first month into three years and a year 'travelling'
Shit a guy just this week in the Uk was convicted of pretending to be a barrister.
He got away with it for two years and presided in 22 court cases.
Maybe the judge is bullsihtting, who knows?

'its for Sale, you can buy it'
- Everythings corrupt, Ice Cute

With that attitude enjoy your trips, it may be your biggest life accomplishment

Probably going to start.. I suck at it though.. already stupid enough I have to lie in interviews.
What are your weaknesses? -Gtfoh
Where do you see yourself in10 years? Oh yea ever since I was a kid I dreamed of working in a soulless cuckshed for minimum wage.

I have a philosophical paper published in an esteemed liberal arts college library, that's more than you've ever done.

I better you have weak link and dont even use them.
80 pc of people dont use weak link effectively.
Make a list.

Get your Cdl A and drive big rigs for mundo bucks.

Start stripping , save and start your business

Unless you're retarded, you're not unemployable. Get a shit job, do better there than all of your peers and look for better work while you work that shit job. As you accrue time there, you'll be a more attractive employee there and elsewhere. Jump to a better job when one becomes available.

This , literally no one is gonna hate you for leaving your job for a higher paying one I started at 9$ and now earn 17$ in two years

'weak links ' as in friends, family, relatives.
Who maybe allowing you to, As i said, 'CONFUSE' you with soneone else who worked there long.
A Lot longer.
Like if someone really get on their cases, or they are under oath, they can say 'oh, Kevin REILLY? I thought you meant Kevin Riley?' and you maybe give them an incentive.
Or to get hired, What weak links do you have,
You most know people who have jobs,

Well I feel for ya bro. tell ya what Yea Forums bois, I'm in a good mood. I can't get you a job but I can tell you how I get laid almost every weekend

>Look on Instagram, see what the swag cucks are wearing
>get a good disguise together
>go to the club around, eh, 12 or 1 am
>find drunk thot
>make her think shes interesting
>get her in an uber home and saddle up cowboy you're in for a fun night

This totally works. The things you guys say on here about women being dumb are so true. The right outfit and some patience + boose will usually get the job done

They aren't stupid they are literally kindergarten tier intelligence.

They always leave quickly when they wake up and see my fedora and sword collection.

i've definitely been there.

finally got a job through a connection. absolutely hated it and almost quit many times early on, but i knew that if nothing else, i needed to tough it out to fix my shitty employment history.

5 years later, i'm still there. still hate it sometimes but i feel like i'm probably much more attractive to a new employer when i do eventually leave.

as others have said, find something, anything, and do it for a few years. it shows that you can be responsible, show up on time, and hold down a job. then you can reassess your situation.

i was 28 before i even began really getting my shit together, so there's still hope.

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Oh fuck off.
Interview are a bullshit informal formality if you got a foot in the door via an agency, a trial period, or via a contact.
Its just box ticking.
If you still have to jump though hoops,
You asked the wrong person for a recommendation.

I could get a cucks off the street a job tomorrow.

Self employment. It's a steep learning curve but is the best job option in the world.

I started off with £10 buying stuff from thrift stores and reselling it on eBay and via my online shop. Literally doubled my money in the first week. Next week, spent £20, doubled it, and it went from there. I began going to business network meetings, joined the chamber of commerce, attended every free seminar I could find. Today i continue to regularly visit the thrift stores for stock, but also import a lot of stuff via Alibaba, and i also regularly go on buying trips abroad which means i also travel a lot. I'm in the UK, but 90% of my sales go to the USA.

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"... esteemed liberal arts college "
I stopped reading right there.