What can I do to become more interesting and likable?
I already started working out and have a decent body going. I am learning a new language and hope to learn more after and have gotten a few new hobbies I will try to become okay at.
What else is there to do?
What is the secret to being someone people like?
I'm already earning some decent money too so what else do I need? I am all ears
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Have a good sense of humor, be adaptable, and dont take yourself too seriously.
First off, well done on getting your ass off the couch and doing something with your life.
Secondly, don't try so hard user. The right people will cross your path at the right time.
Instead of looking for people who you think you are compatible with, rather be versatile in conversations with the people who are in your space. If they like you, they like you. If not, then they can fuck off. Just treat people with the same amount of respect as you yourself would like
>Have a good sense of humor
Yes! Forgot that one. I think I have a good one in the sense that I don't get offended by anything. But how do I become funny? Is there any way to do that?
I get that, don't go looking for people, yeah. Thanks!
I guess just practice makes perfect? I need to be the person that, if you talk to me one on one, you at least can respect me, no matter what I just said.
you say that like its something i can pick up at the store. how does one develop a 'good' sense of humour?
The last part "if you talk to me one on one, you at least can respect me, no matter what I just said."
I would disagree here user. Remember, respect others. So get a feel for the conversation. Read the room, if you are in an office enviroment and you are talking to a colleague, keep it professional, maybe cracking an inside joke that only you and that person will understand. Also do not try filling silence with something to say. We all know silence in a conversation is awkward to say the least, but trying to fill that gap of silence with something that is a dead end road conversation just makes the upcoming moment of silence in more awkward than the first. Listen inventively. Listen to what the person has to say and think of maybe one or two follow up questions for the person to keep them talking. People LOVE talking about themselves, so always try and push the conversation back onto the other person but also peppering in a little about yourself. ""Oh you started learning how to juggle, that's pretty awesome, how many things can you juggle at once by now?"" (Wait for answer) ""That's awesome man, I just started learning a new language"" (They will respond with) Oh that's cool, what language"" and so on and so forth. Keep conversations light and breazy and stray away from anything that may be offensive (in this day, it's almost impossible) but a general rule for me is stay away from, religion, politics and race. It's all about reading the person (not judging)
Respecting won't be a problem. I respect everyone.
Thanks for this advice user! It puts things into perspective and reminded me of a few things I already thought about.
Do you think a bar or some place would be a good starting point for some practice on this? Perhaps I could work on my sense of humor there as well.
Obviously it happening naturally is something I would want when it comes to that, but what I mean is just simply practicing reading the person and just getting a feel for how to do things, you know?
watch a bunch of well-constructed funny stuff, make a habit of it. eventually your brain will dissect what's funny about it and you'll start seeing openings for similar jokes in the real world.
i say well constructed because you could watch mind of mencia or something but you'd just pick up how to tell race jokes and yell. and that can be funny but if you're trying to meet people, watching something with jokes that're a little smarter will help you be more varied and think on your feet more which is better for a general audience.
will definitely try this as i am pretty desperate to build a more pleasing sense of humour. you got any other recommendations? would help a lot
The next step is stop being a faggot and for that you should stop sucking dicks inmediately, hard for you but doable.
Only a pleasure, friend. I love sharing my knowledge and always willing to help anyone who is willing to help themselves.
A bar wouldn't be the best place in my honest opinion. It may be a good place to start once you feel like you can adapt to any and most conversations because people are there to let their hair down, they there to relax and they can say whatever they want because they don't need to put on a front to impress an employer. So this is probably God mode level going into a bar and striking up conversations with random people. If you are just going there for research purposes, keep in mind that a dude sitting alone and staring at others can be a bit creepy, so try following my first bit of advise - Don't go looking for compatible people, they will come to you (I don't mean sit around and wait) I mean live your life everyday like you have been doing, hitting the gym, learing your new language, soon people are going to want to know more about who user is and want to be around you more and those are the people you want as friends or companions. I hope I am making sense user. You sound like a really cool dude, so keep on loving yourself and don't be too hard on yourself either
I will have to try this myself. It makes sense.
I think the humor thing is the one important thing I may be missing.
Thank you. I will certaintly try to follow your advise best I can, you make sense to me at least.
And I see, yeah you're right. I never looked at it quite like that before and it makes sense.
As far as the living my life thing, that makes sense too. I assumed it would be like that basically. I have been at it now for almost a year and think I am doing good. I guess I will just keep doing as I am doing and working towards my goal and hopefully things fall into place.
Eventually I will be in a position where I will be able to be put in a place where no doubt people will be interested, and hopefully then I can move forward, if not it happening sooner.
Thanks for that, you do too. And I will try.
Lie
just stare at people and if they stare back say "what up, you fucking little bitch?". this works especially well in prison.
Thanks for your reply user. Like I said, take it easy on yourself, you're doing really well. Take a step back and see what you have achieved this passed year and how you have grown. This should really be great motivation to keep on doing what you're doing, because with each passing day you're building up your conversation rollerdex and by the end of the day you will have the arsenal to take on any conversation with humour or empathy. Just think to yourself, the person you are talking to has also seen their fair share of shit in their lives, we all have a story, so just sharing a page of yourself to someone may spark their interest to want to read your whole book :) stay strong user, you're awesome
humorfag here
while it's important to build a stockpile of jokes so you can look for openings, and that takes a long time, delivery is really important. good comedy has good delivery, just pay attention to how it's being delivered because this comes from a separate part of your brain than the actual jokes.
the easiest way to deliver a joke is to change your speech pattern for the punchline, and the easiest way to do that is to put in a pause. since the other suggestion was about decoding jokes you can start by identifying the setup of a joke and the punchline. the punchline is the part at the end that people laugh at, and in a well-constructed joke it wouldn't make people laugh on it's own, it needs to be set up.
since you'll find out comedy and jokes are all about combining two different ideas, the setup is one idea and the punchline is another one, they're just rolled up into one sentence. if we're still talking about practicing a pause, you use the pause to bridge the gap between setup and punchline. you want your pause just long enough to build anticipation for the punchline, but not so long that they wonder if you forgot what you were talking about. it'll probably be a split second in most cases.
before and after the pause your voice is going to change. the setup needs to be more casual, like you're having a conversation and making eye contact. normal talking stuff, no need to smile, just be casual. then the pause hits, and you can break eye contact. you can look up a little, like you're searching for the right words. then when the split second is up you're not going to be so casual, you're going to be more blunt.
imagine a ball gently rolling down a hill into a wall. that's how the receiver should feel.
there's a lot of subtleties, but practice your pauses and you'll get a feeling for timing. pay attention to how whatever comedy you watch eases you into submission then runs you into the wall. (1/2 hold on)
Good advice. Just to touch on that, you want this to be conversation specific. Don't be like in the middle of a casual conversation TWO HORSES WALK IN A BAR... it's true what user says, keep it casual, take the listener on an adventuer and then hit them with the punchline, whatever it may be. It doesn't have to be story telling jokes, just conversation specific
this response is too perfect.
Thank you
humorfag continued
the casual/blunt jarring sensation is what makes people laugh and it translates into hand gestures, tone of voice, and especially eye gestures. they'll have a specific set of these things they do to be casual for the setup, and a more blunt set for the punchline.
two people i think anyone interested to watch is george carlin and colbert (on colbert report, not the new show.) ignore the politics if you need to. they both know exactly how to set up a joke and deliver the punchline. colbert especially is unbelievable with his pauses. they'll teach you everything you need to know about constructing and delivering coherent, smart jokes. i think jon stewart did a great job on his show too if you want more. again ignore politics if you have to.
if you're looking for colbert report episodes there's a huge torrent you can find googling "colbert report reddit torrent"
Thank you! im gonna try this out
Another thing, politeness. Saying please and thank you go a hell of a way. Especially in this day and age where you rarely here someone thank someone else. When you say it, saying with meaning, actually think of the words when they leave your mouth. Thank the person humbly, even if you are just getting some Mc D's. Look the person in the eye and thank them . This will make you feel better about yourself and you have no idea what a difference it could make in the life of someone else
Ausfag here - this is important. In australia especially, so much of our culture is built on being casual if not irreverent. I find people always respond well if you make eye contact and thank them genuinely, because it's genuinely unusual. Most people will just quickly say "cheers" out of habit, and I presume this is the case in other places too.
yeah, just saying "Here's a joke:" is like running them into the wall already. the whole point is to surprise them, and that doesn't happen if they know a joke is coming.
every time you make a joke, before it happens, you have to look at the pieces you have around you you could put together to make a joke. and for different people that's going to be different things. that probably sounds daunting but if you watch enough stuff, just one piece of a joke will usually be enough to latch onto and build a whole one. it's more about identifying what the best piece is then letting your brain that you've conditioned to see openings do the work for you, while you focus on how secure you should make them before you run them into the punchline.
if you watch enough funny stuff and pay attention you really will build up this stockpile of joke techniques to pull from that will work on it's own as soon as it finds something that pushes it the right way. it does take a while though like i said.
Thank you for elaborating on this user. It is true, and people will rerspect you more for it too. You will start enjoying interacting with people more because you kind of have a feeling of happiness when you genuinely start thanking people for doing something for you (even if it is their job)
I agree 100% with this. Well said user
Hope you're still here OP? This is really some quality shit that people are posting right here
if anyone needs an example of a great pause look at this, he pulls you in and everything about him changes for the punchline. not talking about the applause break. the whole video leads up to the pause but you don't have to watch all of it although it'll help.
Bump
>colbert
The secret to getting people to like you is to shut up, listen, and genuinely care about people.
There's nothing more interesting than listening.
>colbert
i kinda wish
what?
weren't you saying i was colbert?
bs
the secret is that all these secrets would be common knowledge if they were true, but they aren't. there is no secret, its a combination of nature, circumstances and luck.
what you want and are passionate about, then if people find you interesting for it, you have people that you actually like to have around.
I was massively insecure in my past and built up a friends group that i mostly just do not enjoy but tolerate, and i only spend time with them because i am lonely. My gf is probably one of the most interesting friends i have and we met through a hobby (horse riding) and we started to hang out basically on the basis of her being the only girl that wasn't a total bitch.
>colbert
>implying
Nah I was pointing out how garbage Colbert is on his shows now
I guess this meme might be too old
checked
oh yeah
i miss him on his old show. i don't think he gets enough credit for how good he was, he was pulling off real virtuoso stuff every night
Get a hobby(or lie about having one) that makes you seem morally superior.
My fave is
>oh I volunteer (during the time I play video games) at the local animal shelter, we save strays off the street and help find a home for them.
enjoy getting your dick sucked
You should be happy people aren't that interested. Nothing is more annoying than to have people constantly watch or notice you.