I don’t enjoy living. What do I do?

Depends on how bad I'm feeling and what I want to escape to. My drug of choice are opiates. I love them more than any other class of drug. That warm fuzzy feeling they give you like being hugged from the inside with a heated blanket. It's a feeling like you'd get from falling in love or something similar. But believe the hype. They're highly addictive if you use them every day for more than a week or so and the withdrawal is pretty harsh. I fucked around and became addicted for a short period of time when things were really low in my life, but I kicked them cold turkey, suffered the withdrawal, and have been okay to fuck around with them recreationally again. I never do them more than twice a week now, and I wouldn't recommend scoring H on the streets because of the over-abundance of deadly Chinese fent and carfentanyl. That shit will kill you quick.

Benzos are good for depression but even more addictive and the withdrawal can kill you. Use wisely if you choose them. You'll get hooked fast and the withdrawal is the worst I've ever experienced. I wanted to die.

Coke is okay, but it's a more social drug. Like if you've got friends and places to go and shit to do. Parties and stuff. I don't have any of that in my life anymore, so when I take coke now it just makes me clean my house or work out a lot. I don't really get the hype.

Same with weed. It's okay for relaxing, but I still suffer occasional negative trips where I reflect on past failures or collapsed relationships and it just ruins my whole mood. I spend the whole time just overanalyzing my entire life and thinking I fucked up here, here, and here, or I could've done X, Y, or Z, or what if person A did X instead of Y. That kind of shit. It becomes super negative for me and it feels like it's going to last fucking forever, which makes the bad trips even worse.

Shrooms are okay if you're into psychedelics. I'd never go anything higher than that (DMT, ecstasy, acid, etc...)

because I know a dude IRL who fried his brain out on acid and is now a paranoid schizo. He messed around with it too much and it really fucked up his brain and changed his entire personality. Scary shit. That's why I won't fuck with any psychedelics higher than shrooms despite the increasing popularity of DMT among my age group. There have been research papers published by legit Universities and neurosurgeons who've conclusively demonstrated severe personality changes and the like in patients who used acid too frequently or in too large a dose. That's terrifying enough for me to stay away from everything but shrooms.

Meth isn't the demon drug people make it out to be at all. You're not going to use it once and instantly age 15 years and have all your teeth fall out like the anti-drug campaigns pretend. It's actually pretty awesome but another thing I'd only fuck with on occasion due to its high addiction rate and, even worse, the group of users the drug attracts. It generally attracts really shitty, awful people. White trash losers with rap sheets the size of your arm who you can't trust with shit and who will rat you out at the drop of a hat. The girls will all want to fuck you but they're mostly not attractive at all and the guys will all want to fight you because you're getting too much female attention. This is assuming you look like a decent human being who bathes regularly, I mean. The people it attracts isn't worth the headache of trying to score it from them, though it is a pretty solid escape and definitely nowhere near the level that the general public make it out to be. I'm super productive on it. I'll write or draw for hours and hours and feel like I've only been at it for a few minutes.

Gabapentin is a great pharmaceutical and highly underrated, IMO. It's a gaba analogue, the same as alcohol. I'm a big dude at 6'7" 220lbs, so I usually dose 4-5 grams of it at a time. It has a long come on period, about 2 hours or so, give or take 20

minutes. Once it hits, it's like you're drunk as fuck. All the same symptoms of being drunk, but without any of the negatives like potential heartburn, acid reflux, vomitting. It's basically booze in pill form and I think it's criminally underrated in the recreational pharmaceuticals realm. You'll might also get crazy intense munchies and find yourself destroying an entire XL pizza all by yourself like a fucking fatass and still being hungry afterwards. This largely depends on if you're the type to get drunk munchies or not. I definitely am. Getting drunk gives me a much stronger case of the munchies than any strain of weed ever has, so with gaba it's like that multiplied by two. It's a great drug to take if you just wanna veg out on the couch and eat your ass off, or just space out and listen to your favorite albums in a state of bliss. It also has great social applications because you lose your inhibitions like alcohol, so you'll find yourself approaching people you might not normally, and you're just a fucking god in conversations, TBH. It's like xanax in that regard. Totally takes the anxiety out of social scenarios and allows you to just flow and be your best possible you.

That's mostly it for me. There are other pills and shit I dabble in, but they're not mood altering. Mostly shit for sex scenarios like viagra for marathon fuck sessions with my gf, or things I can dose her with to make her even hornier/willing to experiment.

How E they withdrawals from gabapentin?

Drugs won't really fill the hole that you are feeling. In all honesty finding the will to live is a very personal thing. For me it was my faith that kept me going through rough times. My recommendation is to take comfort in what you can and try to set achievable goals for yourself. I know you can do this user

Faith in what?

Same here being a uni fag and working every day makes me want an hero

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I read it up to depends on

why are drug users sometimes smarter than most people. i don't condone drugs, but you do what you do.

You didn't once mention drinking. Let the liquor do the thinking.

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I've heard stories of pretty severe withdrawals, but I can't really comment on them myself, as I don't use it that often. I do use a heavy dose, though. The pills come in 300, 600, and 900mg. 300s are those plasticy capsule things where you can see through it and see the drug inside. 600mgs are what I get currently and they're big fucking white horse pills. I've never seen a 900 in the wild.

I typically take a dose of around 4-5 grams, so 6-8 600mg pills at once. Chewing them won't make the onset any faster so it's a waste and they taste like shit, so just swallow them and wait it out. I'm also a very large guy though, so depending on your size I'd say a dose of like 2-3 grams would be sufficient. I've had my girlfriend try them before and she does fine and gets the exact same effect on 3 600mg pills, which is 1.8 grams. Men are generally larger and heavier though, hence the 2-3 gram recommendation.

One thing I've noticed is that it's basically impossible to get high on them on successive days in a row. Like, if you get high on them Friday night, you can take as many as you want Saturday and you're not going to feel a fucking thing. They stay in your system a while. It takes several days for them to clear out and you to regain the ability to get high on them again, so they're basically the perfect party drug if you like the effect of being drunk without the negatives.

Another positive is it's basically impossible to OD on them. I mean that in the "kill yourself" way, not the technical term of an overdose. Technically, I overdose on them every time I take them, but it's impossible to kill yourself on them. There's an infamous published account out there of a dude who came to the emergency room who had taken like 45 grams of the shit and he still lived. He was just super delirious and shitting all over himself. Only 1 person has ever successfully killed themselves on gaba according to the data, and it's unknown the amount he took.

I wouldn't say we're smarter, but we're definitely well versed in drugs and psychology. You kind of have to be if you're going to dabble in this world.

I use and sell regularly. As a result, I'm pretty wise to the way certain drugs affect the human brain, what the drawbacks are, what drugs interact with each other and what not to take when you're taking X, Y, or Z. I'm also really good at reading people in general because, again, you have to be in this game. I've been fucked over a lot and lost a lot of money and product early on, but I learned my lessons the hard way and have become a much better reader of people's intentions now as a direct result of hanging out in the underworld for years, keeping my mouth shut, and just observing people in general.

People who really do drugs, in more than a weekend party sense, also have a lot of pain generally speaking. We're all trying to escape something negative to experience a pleasant feeling again. I'm generalizing a bit, and not all are like that (many use regularly and you wouldn't even know it), but it's like a 70% split in my personal experience over 5 years in this world that most people who use regularly have been really hurt, abused, neglected, or taken advantage of in some way or another at one or multiple points in their life. As a result, a lot of us are severely introverted and guarded, and we tend to read a lot and try to learn from the experiences of others, too.

More power to you if that's your thing. I still drink on occasion, and literally just finished a 6 pack of Sierra Nevada Torpedos, but I can't drink regularly anymore in my late 20s like I could in my early 20s. Shit fucks my throat up and I wake up with awful acid reflux every time I drink more than a beer or two now.

I miss my early 20s drinking/partying days, but I'm really coming to prefer my late 20s pharmaceutical days now that I really know my shit.

Up the pool down the pool up the pool down the pool. Sounds great. I'd rather take one of Andy's missiles down my throat.

Just read something from my boy Schopenhauer, he will cure your depression.

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Opioids are my life. Forget about showering and money on the bank. Opioids is where it is im addicted to oxycontin and my only drive in life is to secure these nice little pills. I dont shower anymore dont buy food just eat from trashcans and i beg at mall entrance for fast money. My trailer is full of trash and i shit in the bush cause my toilet is clogged. My wife and me have 5 kids we are proud trump voters and my handgun and shotgun will kill any mexican invader in my town.

Surprisingly accurate. You sound like some of my clientele. Kek.