How can i get laid. Give guaranteed success step by step tutorial i hate being 32 and virgin

>go to a bar
>don't get shit housed
>wait for a girl to sit semi-near you
>if she stays there and is alone for 2+ songs, you have a chance
>look at the nearest tv
>wait for a semi tropical song to come one
>whatever commercial it is, just say to the bartender so the girl next to you can hear
>"haha oh wow that reminds me i have to water proof my deck"
>then shake your head and look at your own drink

I have no idea why this works, but it does every time. Bitches. Love. Decks. It makes no sense. Maybe they think there's a hot-tub involved? Maybe they think a deck means a good property with a big house? I seriously have no Idea. All I know is that they get horny for people who care about their decks. Take her to a hotel and bang her brains out then never call her ever again.

otherwise
>get a job
>proceed to this anons suggestion

Bro, just go on YouTube and watch RSDmax videos. That guy is a fucking pro in helping beta virgins get laid

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followed instructions
dick stuck in a blender

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This

yeah man decks get women wet for some reason, especially if you tell them you are building your own.

pretend you are gay and befreind a bunch of women then tell them one by one you think she made you switch sides. one of them will surely want to bang.

This guy know's what's up. As soon as you mention a deck, every girls chair pretty much starts dripping.

Decks? What the fuck man. Weirdest thing ive heard so far. This works? What deck? A sun deck on a cruiseship?

Heres my tip get drunk but dont get shitfaced. Then approach female it will be either reject or get laid. Try again and so on

Wooden deck. Idk why it works either, but it works 100% of the time.

Rape.....65% of the time, it works every time

Step 1; hit up h&m for some sleek in-style clothes
Step 2; brush your teeth, get some suave shampoo/conditioner, hit up a supercuts (or any hair salon) and get a modern haircut (not that shit mommy says looks good on you)
Step 3; shave, clip and file your nails smoothly, and take care of any acne you most defiantly have
Step 4; hit up a planet fitness or some other pussy gym to get a workout and socialize
Step 5; after decreasing your body fat through 2-6 months of hitying the gym, hang out at coffee shops/local gathering places
Step 6 (hard one); realise that happiness isn't afforded to fucking trash like you and just fucking kys instead of going to /b for redditfag advice

>hit up a planet fitness or some other pussy gym
>planet fitness

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chicks dig dudes with bulging hernias from inferior spastic workout routines provided by places like planet fitness

Work on your inner game and focus on bettering yourself socially. The laying will come after.