My life sucks.
I am 32, I have a job, a car, a house, a girlfriend, lotsa friends.
Think this is cool? Think this is what matters in the world? I thought as well, except...
>gf cheated on me during her college foreign "studies" period
>stayed toghether because she's 26, too beautiful and I can't get anything better atm, because I'm aging but I'm not attracted by 30s females, they want families, I hate kids and have nothing to teach to anybody, nor care about family
>family torments me, asks for money
>cannot ignore them up because I'd end up feeling worst than I feel now denying my help to the people I was set to love since I was a kid
>sister sleeps all day without going to work, I basically maintain her ass
>not american so not even deranged to the point I can ask anything her back
>friends know my life is shit
>somw helped me thru, other didn't, but all are laughing. I don't get any respect or anything positive from them
>bestfriend is also my drug dealer. Starting to seem too obvious why he's my bestfriend, since depression is cutting deeper everyday and money is so easy to spend
... this planet is inhabited by heartless and selfish creatures that basically paralize you by using love, but it's all a lullaby to make you do whatever they want to do, and there's no turning back now unless I cut every string forever and go oout in the dark loneliness by myself.
I don't want to go an hero. I used to love life, I used to love my life.
But it's all a setup. Nobody is really intrested, no matter what they say. No matter what they do.
Ask me anything, faggot, and be harsh in your judgement, should you care about what you're reading. If not, just troll me or bring me lower, whatever. Maybe I could use this to develop an authentic desire for death, at this point maybe it would be best.