Hi Yea Forums, I am a total fucking retard

Hi Yea Forums, I am a total fucking retard.

How do I use tinder? What dating sites/apps even work?

Attached: images.png (225x225, 3K)

tinder is garbage
okc or pof are better
gona be bangin a 40 something yo milf i met off pof soon

Don't you need a credit card for pof?

Women on Tinder are not looking to date or hook up. They only use it for self-validation. Many of them swipe every guy to the right just to see how many matches they get and what messages they receive. It makes them feel attractive and wanted, but of course they would never reply to any of these creepy dudes.

Try it. You'll get "matched" with a bunch of women but none of them will respond when you message them. You are just a means of affirmation.

Tinder is a looks-based app OP. If you're a tall, broad, muscular 8-10/10 dude you'll probably get some. If not, you'll waste a lot of time and come out frustrated and feeling like crap.

tfw you're an old divorced man, your therapist told you to try tinder, swipe yes to everything for two weeks, zero matches.

And that's how I ended up in suicide counseling.

I think if you do the upgraded bullshit but you don't need to upgrade to talk to people

over some ho ass bitches on tinder?
you weak af man

>What dating sites/apps even work?

It's not the app that makes it work, it's you that makes it work

>Swipe yes to everything
Oh man

A therapists job is to keep you coming back. Just like a doctor. Can't make money permenately fixing people.

Most people should if they knew what was good for them.

Yup, know that very well now. It was my first stint. Work made me go after a few breakdowns during the separation.

Sorry you let her drag you that deep. Now you've learned to swim, you can avoid the hooks.

Hey, tell me about it. I had a shitty breakup which was helped along with a neofeminist pseudo psychology student dyke of a friend. Wasn't great and they spread dissentious bullshit in spite after I was done caring.

Women can be bitches, all of them. That doesn't mean they are but you can sure as fuck bet most people are assholes: Just be cautious and consider than when chasing tail.

Dude they're always talking shit. Always. They judge what they want off of what others perceive they want. Not a genuine bone in their bodies.

I mean I've met some really genuine women. I won't roll them all into the same smallpox infested blanket terms but you're right. Many of them are superficial but it goes both ways.

Apparently that's the norm and how society encourages people to act. Maybe I'm wrong for not being as much an asshole lol

this is a lie

OP here should have made it clear I'm just looking for a fuckbuddy.

anyways yeah op use okc or pof
you have a better shot than tinder

Honestly, this guy is right.

well you're in for a disappointing time for the most part
but there are girls who are down for that on pof/okc
you just have to be genuine about what you want upfront
and if you're not single and don't live alone, just forget about it right now
to get fuck buddies you need 3 things:
>be single*
>live alone
>lower your standards
you don't HAVE to be single if you find the right chick who doesn't give a fuck, but then you have to worry about how many other dudes she's fucking
of course, you should worry about that anyways

-am single
-am live alone
-am decent looking
-am down to fuck fat chicks

Look like I'm all set. I just need to buy a new bed first, been using a crappy single mattress for ages

fuck these people. I feel you. It's easy to get down on yourself. Everyone shits on middle age guys.

Ok tinder is for

Tinder is shit tier, pof is great. Free to play, I've smashed several 6/10 mifs on there as well. Alot of 20ish thors on pof too, mostly average broads tho. Dont even bother hitting up the profiles that look to good to "need" to use online dating, fake shits. Pof will get you laid if you can sell them older bitches the dream they want to hear.

Dubs confirms it. I tried POF and all I'm getting is fake profiles and I'm sick of it. I got one on OK Cupid and still talking to her. I'm not fat and not ugly, maybe average idk. But I'm not getting anything. Any tips?

Attached: sadness is close.png (634x483, 341K)

>pof is great. Free to play, I've smashed several 6/10 mifs on there as well
this pof is great for milfs. tindfer is shit unless you are a player. badoo was better if you want to try it... scout is awesome for young pussy

Might as well try taking light jabs at their appearance if being nice gets you no where. Tell em they look goofy in some way and you just might get a response.

I think my style would be to say "nice rack" or "you gotta fat ass" just to see the reaction

because why the fuck not

It’s not about what site you use fucking neckbeard

gotta get more witty than that user

it is tinder requires very good pictures. like you have to take time to make a profile where others you just throw w/e

oh you're golden then dude
hit up a couple fatties and tell them they're cute
chat them up for a couple days, inevitably it'll turn to sexual chat
tell them you can host any day and have no baby momma to worry about
you'll be swimming in landwhale pussy in no time
>t. envious

Man I should put out a guide how to get laid using dating sites. There really is someone for everyone. Even if you are a hambeast there is still a chick out there they'll let you raw dog her.
1>>You got to read her profile and tailor your responses to what she's looking for even if you don't mean a word of it.
2>> make sure the photo you post of yourself is fairly recent so that there is no shocker when she wants to video chat you.
3>> be a little bit edgy/funny but not too much or just gets creepy.
4>> don't send cock pics until she send you something naughty, and even then a dick-root pic tease is far more powerful then full wang.
5>> most milf types are dtf, that goes without asking, don't be autistic and discuss that straight up. It's implied that y'all are going to f*** probably within the first couple dates. The milfs I fuked off of Plenty of Fish we're all on the first meeting.
A few pointers but just for real dont set the bar way to high user, but dont go for shit tier milfs either. You got this buddy. Go get that hog wet

Used it and got my current gf. Catch is we live in border towns and take turns crossing to see each other.

god i love banging old milfs
good tips user
spread the gospel

hope you like morbidly obese fat chicks. According to tinder that all I can swipe.

Thank you!, I try to get dudes laid. Milfs are the best. They love to fuck, they most likely are clean d&d free, they usually cant get preggo anymore so no Jimmy cap needed.

dating apps are perfect for guys who love banging cock hungry land whales
one man's trash is another man's treasure

what tips would you have for getting these milfs to be cool with just some discreet casual sex with a married guy?
asking for a friend

Fat chick pussy feels really good though, if I can have the texture of a fat chicks pussy on a nice Fit body oh, that would be god tier

i live on a different island from my GF,been together for 8 months, shes moving to me in a month though it became too hard to say bye every couple of weeks.

Yes, you're describing me LOL. It requires a little more trickery but you got to have slight psychopath characteristics to maintain a solid story as to why they can't come to your place. I usually said that I am in the process of divorce and the situation is very delicate at the house. On nights that I couldn't do anything because of family issues I would say that I'm watching my kids that night. Just make sure your story is good before you get asked Those Questions by said milf. They mostly are willing to buy the store you give them, they're trying to get laid to.

how much time would you say you spend feeling a fit girls body as you're fucking her?
usually, my hands are on her ass, grabbing her tits or the back of her head
barely if ever am I rubbing her nice thin firm body
fat chicks have all the good shit I'm spending my time grabbing
big fat fucking tits
plump round ass
add to that their insatiable craving for cock and that perfect flesh sleeve (and even ass hole) and it makes me want fat girls over boring ass fit girls who think they're too good to take a load of cum in their mouth
fuck skinny girls
bring on the landwhales

Okay playa, tell me your game plan.

>Fri
I hear ya buddy, I love BBWs. Back in my young cocksman days I used to be the self-designated grenade jumper went out with my buddies. Fat b****** go hard

pretty much my same situation
working on a 40s latina milf right now
we've been having some amazing sexual conversations, both of us seem to be into the same shit
the question came up, she says she's separated and divorcing
so I said I'm separated as well
that was pretty much the extent of it
neither of us can host, so i assume she's lying too, but she says shes down to meet up weekday mornings to fuck in the car
not particularly the best option but I'll take it
problem is, she lives close and I'm wondering how i can tell her she may see me in public with my wife and kids
i don't want that awkward shit where she approaches us asking questions or some shit
Usually I try to find old divorcees or widows who can host but it's been a dry spell since craigslist took a shit

wrong, my ex was fat, just laid there for the entire time and watching her wobble everywhere was gross.
current GF is thin and is up for anything blasted rope on her face last time.

>life alone
Wrong
>single
Wrong
>lower your standards
Wrong

Manlet detected lol

Yeah the Craigslist thing sucked, the way I feel it wasn't a very safe option to begin with. It sounds like she is lying to so that works out and she probably want to avoid you as much as you want to avoid her if you see her in public. After you bang her out a couple times she will probably give you the full story that she is cheating anyways or in some sort of BS open marriage. I like to keep it outside of the county I live in at a minimum. Damn I feel like The Hitchhiker's Guide to being a scumbag LOL

no, not wrong
your one instance doesn't necessarily mean my generalizations are wrong
I've had my fair share of tight bodied sluts that love cock and cum
and I've had plenty of heffers who just lay there and jiggle like a jello in tuperware on a road trip to grandma's
but, more fat girls I've been with have been super kinky cock crazed freaks in bed than skinny girls I've been with
js

>t. virgin

Preach it!

Confidence is the determining factor here.

How can you have the confidence to fuck bitches if you still live in mom's basement? As far as lowering your standards just think of it as climbing the ladder. You have to slay a few dragons before you can rescue the princess, right?

>hitchhikers guide to being a scumbag
jesus christ that's funny
>outside the county
i just don't have the free time for that shit
wife knows the schedule too well for me to deviate and come up with an excuse
but yeah i agree that she's probably lying as well
I mentioned meeting up in a coffee shop close to her work and her repsonse was
"No i go there all the time, everyone there knows me"
it was then and there I realized she doesn't want to be seen together in public and is most likely not single as well

>standards
I always say this
>you have to bang a 4 to appreciate an 8

weak bitch ugh

It's a market. And sluts have to compete. Yes there are cock hungry.fit.girls but I agree with this. Fat girls do more, more quickly. Anal for example. Fat chicks in my.exoerimce will let you ass fuck them faster than skinny bitches.

Haha wrong. 30yr old, live at home, have kid. Still slay mid twentys puss puss. I just give zero fucks.

>t. larping virgin

Yeah go ahead and bang her out in the car then. I've been in that scenario before. The way I have an excuse to venture out is that
1>>my work schedule is crazy and it varies quite a bit.
2>> I've also developed hobbies that require me to do a bit of travel, rock climbing, mountain biking, outdoor shit.
3>> that is good that she is trying to be sneaky as well. If she's cheating in me and she's trying not to trap you more than likely. I would say burn her ass up a couple times and then go your separate way. The trick is to never get too greedy if you want to keep this charade going.

Do you go on tinder etc with face pics though?

tinder is full of whores. they are posting pictures of tits and ass to get attention from shitbag guys.

the only times i got laid on tinder it was with super fucked up people. got with one really hot chick but she was “using me for sex” and besides getting jerked off once or twice i got horribly blue balled and we never fucked,

also never date a single mother. hoping the physically abusive baby daddy doesnt come home to catch you in flagrante with a woman he sees as his property on a hot sweaty summer day in the white ghetto of fort worth texas

tinder sucks its not worth your time. figure out your hobbies and hope for the best. some people just wont have luck with women and they get old and have to get by with hookers or jerking off.

im going to move to LA and start a band it should get me some luck

Attached: 365FB362-FBB9-4BF2-B557-E0D47286CD13.jpg (4032x3024, 1.85M)

>never get too greedy
know this all too well
it's like bank robbers; if they just stopped one time before the last bank they hit, they'd get away scott free
thing of it is, she's been sayin some lovey dovey shit indicative of a girl swooning for a boyfriend
like that possessive overly cute shit
"Muah!!" "Oh baby, was just thinking about you and it made me smile"
been talking to this bitch for 3 days, idk if that type of shit should be being said lol
I'm on the fence about this one
she might get attached
or it might just be her thing but all she really wants is to bottom out on my cock for a bit

This is truth. Also you got to put serious effort into it at least at first till you figure out a formula that works for you. Don't be lazy user!

need a guitarist?

>move to LA and start a band
we're full, faggot. go to Nashville and fuck fatties

>Tinder
Dude, Tinder is fucking trash. It's gay guys pretending to be women, bots and super uptight women. If you're not good looking or rich, you have to hope a mega whore swipes on you and even then, most of them will never even meet up with you. They flake out a lot.

Dating sites in general are shit. PoF has the easiest women from my experience but you have to sift through a lot of fat girls and most of the girls you'll meet on there are single mothers. OkCupid is mostly girls who try it out for a week and never log in again or girls with incredibly high standards.

I wish. If I didnt have a kid I could live in bachelor pad (duplex)with my bud for $400 a month. Gotta stay local for the school system. 8 years being with one chick and out of the blue leaving you fucks you up. Even when we lived together i still fucked other girls. Parking lots and slutty sluts are great.

Attached: received_788766684829971.jpg (720x280, 21K)

Guy who's gotten plenty of hookups from tinder and other dating apps here. 80% of it is the pictures you take. Even if you're an ugly fuck you can still get a haircut, wear nice clothes and have good angles. I dead ass had one of my friends come over and take several pictures of me with different outfits and poses lol. Your bio is important. It should tell something about you, be concise and most importantly entertaining to read. Most of your matches from dating apps will be from women who are below your level. For example I consider myself a solid 7 and only match with 4's and 5's. The Instagram model chicks are out of my league. Finally, after you get a match comes the conversation. Most of the women, especially the attractive ones, are complete starfish conversationally. Expect to have to carry it and keep it going. Do it for long enough then ask them for a number or social media and get a date. If you can get a second date out of her, you can fuck her.

everyones a guitarist. learn bass or drums or something. i saw a cool band from san francisco with a flute and saxophone player recently. be unique!!

itll take a while i gotta get out of utah first. good luck though!! maybe start your own project

Tinder is great for meeting chicks and hooking up. I wouldn't ever date a girl off of there, though. I wasted a lot of time with that shit.

no you arent people die and leave all the time. i used to live in LA. sounds like you have a personal problem.

>overly cute shit
pic related
I'm not sure about this one, something tells me she thinks this is gona be more than just sex

Attached: Screenshot_20190329-203250_POF.jpg (639x500, 73K)

i also play bass, drums, keys and am a vocalist

you should start your own band and follow your dreams of success. just get really really good.

what kind of music do you play?

maybe ill run into you someday

Married anons, do you share face pics on dating sites? What if you get recognized

As a follow up, a lot of it your matches come from where you live. If you're in bum-fuck nowhere you can expect fewer matches than if you're in a big city.

I would just use some reflective dialogue with her and basically tell her what she wants to hear so that she can justify her Dirty Deeds inside her head. Try to avoid giving her your phone number, I use Kik for most of my communication. It's fairly anonymous and it's great for sending pictures. If she starts getting crazy on you just delete that kik account or mute her. If she's got your phone number it makes it a little tougher but just block her and she'll get the picture. I find it to be easier though to have a good excuse to get out of it. Like saying that your child is the most important thing to you right off the bat and that you cannot see her anymore because it jeopardizes your time with your kid. The parental instincts in her will help her to sympathize with your situation and she will most likely leave you alone after that. Getting strange is a fuckton of work if your trying to be Jason Bourne about it. Sometimes it's just easier to beat your dick and stay at home, but damn some fresh pussy is nice too keep you grounded

The problem is it’s free. And anything with free dating you’re mostly wasting your time unless you’re an ultra chad. Girls are there to make themselves feel better by having literally hundreds of guys messaging them. If you do meet someone it’s usually some psycho bitch or a fat goblin who you’re now stuck with for the night. At least in my friends’ experiences. You actually have more of a chance on a paying site

i did the solo recording artist thing for a while on the side while i was working as a mixing engineer at a few studious
never panned out and i switched careers
I still play, mostly a mix of metal/prog/blues/funk/punk
kinda like if you took slayer, tool, ratm, king crimson, faith no more, any 70s funk band and stevie ray vaughn; put it all in a blender and then songs came out
and no I'm not gona link my soundcloud to these degenerates hahah

I do, only for like a day at a time though and then I hide them shitz. I also don't use Facebook or Instagram or Twitter. Social media like that will get you caught up.

>tinder women
One mans trash is another mans treasure.

That pretty much sums up the level of women on there.

Basically post-breakup attention whores looking for a boyfriend / husband upgrade because their partner cheated or didn’t love them anymore.

Just sad tbh. All dating app are this.

What? Lol I guess results may vary but Im over 6ft...dating sites are hard but than again my tattooed fit bud messages some girls....and says "wanna fuck" within 3 messages. They either do or dont but his pick up game is nuts.

sound advice and I'll head it well
i NEVER use my phone number and always use burner emails and kik
even have a fake facebook account that i use to link to pof
literally zero way for her to find out my real name and/or info
but once we meet in person, she knows my car, knows my face, and will know my cock
that alone is obviously enough to identify me and be incriminating evidence lol

This^ very true that a lot of those hotter thots are looking for verification that they're cute. Those ones you just ignore right off the bat. Try to land on average/Girl Next Door tight chicks. Especially the Milfs

Yeah, it doesn't go without some risks. I guess that's what makes it exciting too.

You sound like a million other hopefull band guys. Ill make a mix of shit and hope it sticks...never does. You want to get laid? Dad rock. Metalcore. Pop punk.

Death to tinder!
Burn it down! Public execution of developers!

Attached: A75F07D5-A029-4FFD-A608-47DE0811C488.jpg (400x300, 179K)

If you throw out "want to fuck" on enough checks it might work. But who has the energy for all that. Just developed a really good strategy to use on a couple chicks and I guarantee you'll win. It's for real game, and not a very hard one at that if you git gud

op got a serious lesson tonight
you better be destroying pussy from this education op

It's like dark souls for your dick. Memorize a pattern and stick with it.

Yes this is the most I've replied in a long time. I like to see user get that dick wet. Women are just way too easy these days to not be getting laid

I'm getting married on Monday from a girl I met on Tinder. True, I was an American in Australia and she's a Taiwanese... but hey, the shit works yo! The ploy to me was to make light of the fact that you're both there to meet someone. Comment on something in her pictures that is stupid like... for me, it was her goofy socks. She told me afterwards that of the hundreds, and I'm not kidding you... HUNDREDS of guys that tried for her, a few she met but most she was disgusted with long before meeting, I was the only guy that said anything about her silly socks! What'd I say? Something like, "It's nice to see you have taste in good socks". That alone was all it took to get her to want to meet me. The rest was I had pics that were vetted from female-friends that told me what they did and didn't like. Was hard not to be defensive but I took their advice and... like I said, I'm gettin' married this next Monday to a girl i could have only dreamed existed just two years ago! So yeah, tinder... OKC... whatever wherever! The fact you meet people is the key, how you meet is irrelevant!

Sluts love tattoos, he’s buff and has game? Yeah he’s probably slaying the pussy man. I had an old friend who wasn’t a bad looking dude but had no game. He only got uggos or constantly ghosted. So I feel that you have to have the whole package to get pussy left and right. So many hours he’s wasted just to pick up thots,that shit just isn’t worth my time.

another one bites the dust

Pof used to be good 7 years ago. Now it's full of boots and hookers and scammers. As someone said before about tinder, full of bitches who want IG followers and validation. Some do fuck.. my bro has been smashing on tinder and bumble but he also is a firm believer of the red pill. Seems to work well for him

yeah there's a shit ton of bots it's ridiculous
but still plenty of bbw and milfs

yeeeeeeah, well no not totally "dust". Got that prenup! :-) Seriously, the right kinda girl can be found no matter where you are or how you find 'em.

Tinder is full of bots, OP. Download Hinge. Worked great for me. Met 4 girls off it. Currently seeing one every few days. Pretty hot.

>game

Hes not very smart. He just has a system, hey your cute, do you have a boyfriend? (Regardless of what she says) Want my number?

Milfs are nice but I like mature milfs. My friend's mom is in her mid to late 40s but looks really fucking good. Shell come by to see me but play it off like she's saying hi to him. The first time I saw her I asked my friend If that was his girlfriend cuz I had a feeling she was a cougar. She goes to hug him and then winks at me when he couldn't see her face.

You should try to smash that old pussy

Lol ik but he's become a better friend these last few years. We served on the same sub when we were in the Navy. Hes the manager where we work and he helped me get the job so I'd feel shitty about that. His mom came in to bring us lunch and she had to remind me that she was his mom lol. I followed her out and lit up a cig as I watched her drive off. Me trying to be sexy for her.. hoping shell come back soon

I am an out of shape, 36 year old man with two girlfriends who know about each other and one official side chick, who does well on tinder and pof.

Dating apps are easy if you know what you're doing. 1 pro tip: never swipe on a girl who rates 4 and below or 8 and higher on the 1-10 scale. Too ugly isnt worth your time and too attractive is usually fruitless.

>m-my ex was mean guys
Kill yourself, you literal eternal beta fucking loser holy shit. Go blame your lack of life on a woman, you absolute clown

This. Also don't procreate.

Got any more tips, pham?

>t. Pays alimony

1: never let them know where you live or work. They are short term and disposable.
2: your first approach better be perfect. You are almost literally one of a million prospects. Set yourself apart. Look at the profile and pics, figure her out, then make the perfect pitch.
3: you profile needs to be generic enough to fit a broad range of women but also unique and full of subtleties. Most of these women are pretending to be something they arent, so you do the same.
4: extend your radius as far as you can and target those further away. Do not shit in your own backyard. Dont wanna be at a restuarant and bump into last weeks date that yours still dangling.

Pretty sure you haven't had a relationship longer than a year. Sorry that I picked wrong, committed, and still tried. If you would please, kindly, go fuck yourself you worthless, repugnant, 'edgy' child. Thanks.

I tried POF but got constantly spammed by bots and scammers.

Its because its double sometimes triple insulated