Alcohol is the only solution to your existential dread

Alcohol is the only solution to your existential dread.

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That and other forms of substances.

Like ketamine!

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We live in a world of NPC's confirmed.

My abundance of anger cured me of dread a long time ago. Now I’m filled with boredom and isolation.

I would have to say the same. I don't know what to do with my life and I'm realizing that I'm officially an adult now and I have about 15 good years of life left and then it's all downhill from there, and everyday I spend wasting my time is another day closer to my ultimate demise of a senseless life. But then I drink alcohol, and poof, I'm happy and all the bad thoughts go away.

I was gonna say cheap hookers and blow....ketamine works too.

take care of yourself

Ain't no existential crisis when there ain't no existence; in a k-hole, nothing exists!

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You’re not wrong for not wanting to back on anti-depressants, all that will do is contain but not cure the depression so don’t waste your money. I honestly can’t give an answer as to what motivates me which surprises even me because normally I have an answer to almost anything. I wouldn’t worry about the sleep thing either, the human mind in this day and age is always forced to think so it’s no wonder at all anybody can’t sleep easily. The least that I can say is that you should try to come up with reasons to explore life and attempt to accomplish things before old age hits, other wise it’s over at that point. Just keep in mind it’s never too late to try.

weak

I do have a lot going for me. I drive a nice car, I live in a nice house with all my best friends, I'm 1 year away from my bachelors in marketing, and I have almost 5 thousand dollars worth of electronics in my room. I have all the free time in the world and all the freedom anyone could want, yet I spend most days alone in my room watching youtube videos and playing games. I wish I could give someone with more motivation and aspirations my position, because I don't believe I deserve any of it.

Alcohol doesn't work anymore.
In the past 6 days I've bought and consumed:
>2 700ml bottles of vodka.
>4 pints of Stella.
>72 cans of Magners cider.

Not felt drunk once.
Still sat there with a can in my hand at 6am thinking about my problems.
It just does not work anymore for anything other than pissing my money away.

Other than everything previously stated, I drive for Uber and Lyft. It's the only job I can do that works with my wonky school and sleep schedule.

Well then you should probably stop. That's how I got with weed. I would smoke weed from when I woke up to when I went to bed and eventually realized it no longer had an effect on me and I quit.

Trust me bro, it might feel like the alcohol is relieving your anxiety/dread but it’s the alcohol leaving your system that causes that anxiety. Alcohol is the “cure” to it’s own disease

I'm not an alcoholic, I don't drink a lot, but once or twice a week I binge drink until I can't stand up and feel total bliss.

Your friends seem to be holding you back. You’re doing this well in life and you think you don’t deserve what you have? I think your problem may be nihlism. You just need to say fuck it and go, get out the house try some things (on your own) build more confidence. You’ll never know unless you give it a shot.

You may not drink 24/7 but i bet you look forward to the next drink on those days off, and probably would be irritable if you didn’t drink for two full weeks. Just saying dude it’s hard to admit when you have a problem but you can’t ignore it and live that totally unsustainable lifestyle forever

I used to be really outgoing, had a big group of acquaintances I would go out with and do all sorts of shit with, I used to have a girl I was with for a couple years, used to lift weights, jog and eat right. All of that has changed. I don't really even talk to my friends that much despite living with them because I'm always alone in my room or out driving. I just have no drive. Sometimes I wish something terrible would happen to me so I have a fire lit under my ass to get me to do something. I remember one time a girl told me she might be pregnant and part of me was wishing she was because it would push me to make something of myself.

I don't really think about it all the time either. I had a bottle of rum sitting on my desk next to me for a week and didn't take a single sip. But randomly I get extremely depressed and overwhelmed with thoughts and then drink half the bottle in 30 minutes.

> Alcohol
> Overeating
> Porn
> Self-Hate
> Weight gain
> Massage Parlors
> Hookers
> Health issues
> Death

It's a quick path to death. Alcohol is literally the demon in the bottle. Don't let him out.

Sounds like you need to get back in the dating world. All the motivation you need may be through having a steady caring relationship.

I already have alcohol, self-hate, and health issues; but don't really have a problem with the rest. At least yet.

I've been thinking the same thing, and there's a girl I've been friends with for 3 years who has been talking to me a lot lately and saying how much she wants to hangout again. At the same time I know that I'm not really what she's looking for. It's really confusing to me. Either way, I know that I am too messed up to be right for her and I don't want to bring anyone else more problems because I'm such a mess. Recently thinking about her has motivated me to try harder because I know that if I fix some things like going to the gym and putting on some muscle, or fixing a couple things about my appearance, along with maybe working harder and making more money... she would probably respect me more as well as be more attracted. I don't know man... it's complicated to say the least, and I can't make a move right now when I'm this unsure and risk sabotaging such a long standing friendship.

That's my point. It's a slippery slope. You'll eventually push through the thin wall of not "giving a fuck", and go full bore on all the stupid shit. You may swap eating disorders for other drugs or porn for violence. There's no difference when you just don't care anymore.

I don't think I'm the kind of person to stop caring. It's just not who I am. I'll be sure to post about it when I get there though.

Start hanging out with her. Don’t listen to what most women say, all women are naturally confusing. Ask her if she wants to go to the gym with you. Obviously don’t ask her out right away but try to slowly build a relationship with her and it might take off.

She asked me to come over and do homework with her when she starts school next month. I will definitely be hanging out with her, but I just know based on who she says shes attracted to that she A. is attracted to my facial appearance/hair B. is attracted to my personality but C. is not attracted to my physique (I'm very skinny). So it's a toss-up. A long time ago I told her I liked her and she said that we should stay friends. That's all she said, and I don't have much more to go off of other than that.

Then stay friends with her. She may have friends that you could hook up with instead.

The only time I feel anything approaching joy or bliss is when I'm hammered on hard liquor. It's also the only time all the demons shut the fuck up for a while. Of course every single time I end up getting black out drunk, saying mean shit to people randomly irl and online, hit on people in the cringiest ways, and just generally be an annoying obnoxious douchebag. This happens every time I drink. I've been a hardcore alcoholic for 3 years now and literally every single time I drink something bad or really bad happens. I've lost so many friends, burned so many bridges. It started off as a way to be "more social" and now I just sit in my room alone and pound shot after shot. just for that happy period of time that can be anywhere from three hours down to even just like 5 minutes sometimes. But at least during that time I feel alive and feel good. But then the black out comes and the demons feed. Then the hangovers. The deteriorating body and mind. The fact that I'm a slave to this shit now. That my depression and all my problems are now ten times worse than before I started drinking heavily.

Shit....I need a drink.

Sounds like you need help my friend, I would never advocate alcohol as a real solution and I meant my post to be a statement that I only ever feel good when I drink; however generally whatever makes you feel good isn't something you should do all the time. If it's consumed your life like that, you should seek help through support systems or help through professionals. Don't let your life go to waste.

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cancer

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At one point I was in good shape, had my own place, a decent job, was scoring poon regularly before finding a girl I actually cared about, had a good wardrobe goin', had interests and hobbies. Cared about shit. Had a large group of friends. The future seemed bright. Even though it was all bullshit. Inside I was in absolute fucking hell. Absolutely miserable. This was years before I hit the bottle. I was ready to kill myself but then I thought why not give booze a shot lol. My life actually went to shit before I started drinking because of my depression, burgeoning schizophrenia, generally pessimistic outlook on the world, and just poor genes in general. I lost everything, turned back into a fat fuck and yeah....picked up the bottle.

Drinking was really fun at first, but now it has made all previously existing problems much worse and created a slew of new problems altogether. But that brief period of happy drunken fun time....that wasn't there before. So it's basically a soul crushing purgatory if sober or bouncing from absolute vile Hell to moments of Heaven if drinking.

Thanks for reading my personal blog.

Thanks user. Guess I just wanted to rant for a moment.

Suicide works too

I would say I relate to some of that. Over half of my family suffers from schizophrenia and I have bipolar disorder as well as the high likelihood I develop schizophrenia later in life. My thoughts are constantly negative and feel like its a nonstop chatter in my head of nihilism, self-hate, and regret. Constant information overload in general. For a long time I was doing really well and then I got into weed and then it became my life and pushed me away from my girlfriend.

However, I think it's possible to always go back to the way things used to be, and maybe the new climb will make things fresh. Don't give a fuck what anyone else thinks, just set a new goal and work towards it and maybe your life will have a little bit more meaning.

What I do is I have some far-off unnattainable goal (like getting famous) and then everyday I can ask myself how I can get one step closer to that goal. Because it's so hard to ever achieve, I know that every day no matter what I will have a goal and something to work towards, and that no day is entirely pointless. It's also a goal that takes examining your life and wondering what will overall improve it and get you closer to somewhere you want to be.

Suicide is a cowards way out and a long term solution to an ultimately short term problem. Life is inherently worth living because it sure beats the hell out of non-existence.