I want to commit suicide, but because my life is a joke i think my death ought to be a joke too...

I want to commit suicide, but because my life is a joke i think my death ought to be a joke too. How can i kill myself in a way that's fucking hilarious?

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Chop off own head on top of elementary school dressed as Naruto.

Not possiable. It's always sad, no matter if people want to admit it or not.

Make a noose of piano wire / guitar string. Take it to a very tall building. Affix noose firmly, apply noose, superglue your hands to your face and jump. The piano wire will cut straight through your neck and make it look like you pulled off your own damn head.

You're welcome.

die doing autoerotic asphyxiation people will be laughing about it for a while

Think harder

Edgy and unfunny

Fucking coward, face your problems
"mUh I wAnNa KillMySelF" learn to not be a bitch, then you wont want to kill yourself

Drew a legitimate chuckle from me. Might try this one.

Write a note, "too embarassed to call the paramedics, wanted to feel what it's like to have my dick sucked, but couldn't bend far enough so decided to cut it off so I can suck it but now I'm bleeding very badly. I'm sorry mom."

Chop dick off and bleed out. It won't be funny per se, but soulless fucks on Yea Forums will get a kick out of it later on...

Imagine taking life this seriously lmao. It's my death, and i want it to be fucking hilarious

Eh. Kinda boring and slow paced. More funny in a sad, pathetic kinda way.

Pick a well-protected politician and run at them while brandishing a jet black dildo screaming, "Don't move or I'll shoot!"

Pfffffhahaha! Solid idea, but there is potential to be taken down non-lethally and imprisoned

you moron, you're supposed to tie a bungee cord to your feet first, this way you bounce above the street, the physics making it look as if you are taking your head off repeatedly. If you just jump with your head in your hands, you splatter all over the ground and nobody gets the joke.

Wouldn't I have to go upside down for this to work though? Itd stop my head coming off.

if you're going to do it, you may as well stuff your ass with didos, shoot up with meth and heroin, get your dick good and hard, and die in George Soros' bed. We may as well get some political capital outta you.

Don't even know who that is, but i reckon the suicide joke shouldn't have to involve other people. It's gotta be a one-woman act.

your head is being sliced at the neck less than a second after you jump - the direction you face is not up to you any longer. the bungee cord around your feet will ensure you get turnt properly.

oh, you're femanon? Post tits. If you're truly looking to die, theres no room for modesty...

Less than a second is not enough to reach terminal velocity and I have serious doubts it would even sever the spinal cord at velocity

Focus user, there are lots of tits in other threads.

Yeah I'd need a long ass stretch of wire to take my head clean off. I dont weigh much either. Big hm.

yeah but now I need to see YOUR tits. We ALL need to see YOUR tits. We can't progress further without them.

Well, don’t do it but if you really have to do it the only funny thing that comes up to mind is
>go to some busy crowded area in a city >stand in the middle of everyone
>start looking at random people and yell in a Tom Green-ish manner while looking at them like pic related
>grow higher in intensity in your obnoxiousness
>eventually, pull out a glock at the climax and Kurt Cobain yourself

>like pic related
>no pic
>waste of post.

Forgot pic related

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Hm. I dunno, the act itself has gotta be funny. It cant just be 'do funny thing, then shoot self'.

Tits with time stamp or GTFO.

Build a giant microwave oven, hit popcorn and jump inside

Cant you see im already trying to GTFO?

Im not skilled or talented enough to build a regular microwave.

Aaaaa

Most funny shit is painful.

Don’t do it user.

KEK

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Get off my fucking board dumb nigger. You sound like you’re in seventh grade.

Mate i already know how to commit suicide painlessly, that's not what im asking.

I want my death to be fucking hilarious

You sound edgy as fuck. If you do at least live stream it

Get completely naked, go to a children’s park, hang yoursef on the swing set.

Yes daddy

Edgy and unfunny

Old Yea Forums wouldn't have let me down like this

Where's the fast car driving along a desert road while you have a parachute on and a noose tied to the car with police chasing you while on national news?