This isn't a joke. where can i find someone to chain me up in their basement, regardless of if I change my mind or not...

He's your slave of course he is inject that faggot and beat God

Check out the McKamey Manor website. Might give you something like what you want.

Come to uk and you can stay with me. I won't starve you, I'll hide you from the authorities and make you go out to work, you give me the money and I'll feed you, we can vidya and stuff, better than a basement. I'm just lonely. I'm not a perv or a weirdo, just depressed. Maybe we can cuddle, no homo.