How can I create an animal army that will do my bidding? I need an airforce/birds, navy/sharks n shit...

How can I create an animal army that will do my bidding? I need an airforce/birds, navy/sharks n shit. Can you get animals addicted to crack for example? Like if I got them all hooked and only gave them more after they carried out their missions?

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Find a group of crows and feed them everyday.

you could probably train pigeons and get some gay dolphins to do your bidding.

You need to market joining your army as a good idea first, then hire some recruiters who fluently speak animal noises. Then you promise them free education to seal the deal and give them a lil' money.

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Sounds expensive...
>mfw never have an animal army ;-;

It is... Although you could try rallying some to your cause with impassioned speeches about how the animal Reich will rise up to take their rightful place in the world.
But that would only net you a militia, not an army.

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It's a start tho, and it won't happen in a day. Gotta start somewhere! Thanks Alice! I have a lot of work to do now.

Good luck friend!

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The Russians used bears to halt ammunition there's even a bear that got the rank of Sergeant for driving a wounded soldier back to base on a motorcycle

The USA used bats to fly into city's with bombs to burn villages down worked well but then they started on the nuke

Yeah, the story of Wojtek is pretty dope.

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I can train dogs to attack on commend, it's pretty easy actually.

Ravens are smart and can be trained to scout and steal stuff

Elephants hav been used for war

Any info on how to train crows to steal for you?

Sharks can't really be trained orca whales can tho

have a bunch of kids

There was a greentext of one dude making a crow army by feeding them mcdonalds or sth. Cant remember extacly...

You don't have to, they are natural thieves.

Yeah but how can I make them steal for me? Will they share some of their stolen things if I feed/house them?

They're niggers, don't be surprised if they rob you afterward

I'm gonna look into it
I'll make a thread if it works out

>They're niggers

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buy a bunch of pit bulls and throw children at your enemies so they’ll know what to attack

Doing gods work sunny

Fuckin necrow

You would have to find a falconry to train you to even buy a bird you have to have at least 3 years of apprenticeship

Fucking lol

Training for a crow? I'm just gonna feed them and shit and try to make them give me parts of their loot in return
Plus I can just find them in the wild, it's not like I'll need to buy any

Mostly just show them what you want and feed them when they bring it to you and don't when they fuck up but most ravens love shinny shit anyway gold is,easier then silver becusae there not a lot of brass they can just pick up but silver with get you a lot of cans nuts and bolts

Crows are smaller and can't be trained you will need ravens and if you are in the United States it is a federal offense to capture or try to domesticate a raven so you have to get a South African Raven to train.

Wait, so you're telling me you need to train nigger ravens to work for you, and that's the only legal way?

Iegal and easiest it would take a few Generations to domesticated a wild Raven so you wouldn't just be a trainer you'd be a breeder as well

Armies of billions of human zombies already exist.

Picture 110% related.

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