Be honest: Where's the weirdest place you've ever jerked off?

doctors office, after the nurse had left. I was 18

Probably on the side of a mountain in Afghanistan. Was in the Marines, out on a 2 week op, standing post at night and got bored. Sitting down, had my poncho on draped over me and figured I might as well.

back of a logic class staring at the feet of a chick in front of me

Busted a nut in a daycare. But it wasn't to the kids cause I'm not that much of a degenerate

the oval office

We both went to the same church, our parents were friends. I never really wanted much to do with her, I had a girlfriend at the time. Yes, she's cute (and grew up to be a stunning woman, married now, not to me). We were sitting after a service and our parents were all talking. And she asks me if I'd follow her, because she had a question. So we walk out of the main hall into a hallway and she asks me if I've ever kissed someone. I answer yes. Then she asks about sex. I say yes. She tells me she likes me and she wants to know if I'd kiss her. Sure, why not. I realize very quickly this is gonna get hot fast. So we start making out hard and I reach down to finger her. She's going nuts, loving it. I grab her hand and she starts rubbing my cock through my pants. I realize quickly we have to move. I find an open door, close it and draw the blinds. Lay her on the floor and finger her and shove her hand down my pants. I pull her panties down, and pull my pants down and take her virginity right there. No protection, and she's barely understanding her body, so I tell her to take her shirt off. I pull out and finish on her chest. We find some wipes. Clean her off. And I walk her out. Our parents were gone by then, but they figured we'd left with friends. I fucked her a few more times after that, we still laugh about it to this day.

I had a feeling Trump was into weird shit

I was probably 14 or 15, I was bad at math in highschool freshman year so I went to this place called Sylvan Learning Center. There was a large room holding about 30 people with 5-6 tutors roaming around helping kids. I was sitting at a circular table that sat 3-4 people, 2 other kids(who were younger girls) and one attractive tutor. I jerked off and nutted onto the carpet under the table while pretty much staring at the girls.

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An empty college classroom. I had my laptop out jerking to something, I don't remember. Easily could've been walked in on.

how old where you?
and how old is she now?

Outdoors on the edge of my childhood neighborhood, in the dark. A little bit of exhibitionism (although I would have been horrified if anyone had seen me). Also in an airplane bathroom. It took me so long to cum the stewardess knocked on the door.

Piano teacher's bathroom

My grandma's house. She's so fucking weird it just makes it weirder but when I was younger and stayed the night in a different room there I appeased every boner I got.

Lol I've been to sylvan

She was 12, I was 17. I'm 35, she's 30 now.

Trunk of a Jetta speeding down the freeway

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That would be Yea Forums

in public was wearing a thick jacket

A couple years ago I was at an inpatient psychiatric facility as a patient for depression. As I started feeling better I wanted to masturbate. One problem was no spank material. Not optimal but I've got some in my memory. But the bigger issue was the staff looking in on patient's rooms every 10 to 20 minutes I could not perform (I'm not into doing it where there's a high chance of discovery) It was so damn frustrating stroking and not cumming.

in a house where i was working, just found the mother's and daughter's panties, rubbed my penis and let them wet
then jerked off

science class in middle school, busted in my pants

As a kid, in my cousins van... Started off by fucking some random milk bottle I found on the ground and finished off by rubbing it out on the back of one of the 2 mid seats.

As a small Teenager, a church bathroom. I stood no chance seeing the girls there with those tight ass fucken skirt dress and big asses... God damn were they fine! Kinda regret that one though to be honest. Haven't done anything past that now that I'm about to hit my 30s. They were all fun though

math class

JC Penny dressing room

Same here.
Driving from Florida to texas.
Started getting drowsy. Put on some porn and knocked one out.
It helped.

I've cum in my preteen niece's shampoo

Lounge of the hotel I worked at as a night auditor. More than once.

During remedial classes in high school

I came in my ex-girlfriend's mom's body lotion

-car driving
-workplace
-car parked
-a friend's house while he played vidya and his family was hanging around there going in and out at all times. -regreted it later.. if got caught that would pretty much end my social life at the time-

Portaloo during an airshow, blew my load while a Vulcan flew overhead and shook the whole damn portaloo.

Standing on the top of my roof, tallest house on the block, on a holiday similar to the holiday in London in my country where they burst fire crackers and vandalize. Just wanted a good view at night and i just started jerking off, my nut landed on some plants in my garden

Stepdaughter's lotions and face cleaners. A lot.

Naughty user. Did she ever find out?

A kid in the neighborhood growing up was a sexual deviant and would fuck anybody or anything with a hole. Had a big dick so actually got a lot of action. Me and a friend are walking to his house from the bus and when we enter his room we hear noises coming from his closet. He opens the door and the kid is in there jacking off hard! He straight up broke into his house to jack off and when he heard us come in he hid in the closet to finish instead of running away. Later admitted he broke into tons of houses to jack off on things. Currently is dead from aids... what a surprise

irl on a pile of hay

on the internet e621

Wine caves in the Napa valley

I was doing LSD at a friends house party and the trip was going great until it got morning and I just shifted into a fucking horrible bad trip for some reason. So I went to lay in his sisters bed and just felt like the bad had to come out so I jacked off and left the cum in some kind of pillow sheet which I then stole.

Into my wife’s smoothie. A few times. I literally dunked my cock into the smoothie while I came. Holy shit the coldness felt wild. She’s gonna swallow that shit one way or the other.

Onto my neighbors car. She was a bitch

In my sisters bedroom while she was watching

After a small party at my crush's house in hs as everyone was leaving i left a door unlocked and snuck back in a came on her pillow. It still gets my heart to race thinking about it.

grade school auditorium during an assembly, on the stage but off to the side inside of the instrument cupboard.

In a national park in Oregon. I was horny and no one was around so I went off the trail and did my business behind a tree.

story

Let my cousin and her friend watch me when I was like 12 or 13. Had just started to actually blow decent loads. Somehow sex came up and the fact that they still hadn't seen anybody cum in person. I said you can do it for me. Her friend wouldn't budge and cousin sure as fuck wasn't having a go. Some back and forth and we settled on I would jerk off for them if cousins friend would show me her tits and taste it. She said she would if my cousin did. So I jerked off looking at my cousin and her friends tits and then they both ate my cum. Still jerk off remembering it.

Sat bare assed on a dirt floor basement and rubbed it out while the tenants above me were fucking. I was on the job doing electrical work

on the face of a 9th grade gay boy in the last year of hs

tree stand

a plane

mental hospital with the roommate asleep in the bed beside me
the nurses probably saw the movement while doing their 30 min rounds

try harder faggot

Church, a work in the bathroom stalls, in a tree stand in the woods, my piano teachers bathroom after looking at her braless tits during my lesson, and in my sisters room as a 14 yr old kid when I walked in and her shirt rode up exposing her tits

She was asleep.

>weirdest place you've ever jerked off?
In your mom's gaping asshole.

reactor compartment of a nuclear submarine

In the same room as my brothers gf while she slept

One time I got blue balled hard by a bitch, after an expensive date and a long evening of listening to her whine and complain about shit. So on my way out I dropped my pants in broad daylight and fapped on the door handle of her mom’s minivan.

She got knocked up by a nigger a few years later so that made up for it

Cool story bro.

>Car while driving
same here
>where I work.
ditto
>Outdoors on the edge of my childhood neighborhood
yep
>Also in an airplane bathroom.
me too
>My grandma's house.
same

Nice

Boat, plane, car, church bathroom, work

Afghanistan, Iraq, Kuwait & Krygzstan

The garden at the local Catholic school at night

On the balcony of an apartment in Manhattan when I was about 14. I was I. The 11th floor. I’m pretty sure I hit someone.

Be there bro

In a cave while camping once, under a bridge walking home from work, while driving, in multiple workplace bathrooms, backyard in the pool where neighbors could have totally saw

in the highschool library with a girls sock and I just left it there

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Oh and standing in the window of Vegas hotel room

yogi bear’s restroom at 12am

Ohh yeah also in the jury box when I was going to court. In handcuffs. I got busted by the court room cop though so I didn't finish

During class and also in the school bathroom.

In your moms closet

A castle
A museum
A bank
A pyramid
A factory
A casino
A ship

Were his initials JR by chance? Because I really hope it was me...

Never got sent to Iraq, but definitely spilled many loads in Kyrgyzstan and Afghanistan. What base in Afghan? I was on Jbad, torkham, and Abad mostly.

You win

Gf got high at work and rubbed one out in the bathroom stall

Onto a girls ass I saw in a Walgreens. Lol biggest adrenaline rush ever

>Be me
>Femanon
>Teachers assistant (learning to be teacher)
>Have my own desk and computer at the back of the room
>masturbate while acting like im working
Its so hot.My shota fetish is intense

What was she wearing?
How T H I C C was she?
Did she notice?
How much N U T was there?
Did you face any consequences?

In my math class. I had a hand in my pocket to massage my dick and nutted un my pants.

Greyhound Bus bathroom.

Were there any particular students in the class you looked at the most? Descriptions of them?
What age were you/the students?
How long did this go on for/did you get caught?

I like blonde skinny nerdy boys.Im 20 in college.Its still going on and im not caught

Somewhere around 2500 feet underground, I work in an underground mine.

Pic and timestamp?

Ex was addicted to porn. Would go to her car on lunch breaks and finger herself to videos

Went to Italy for 2 weeks with my relatives (aunt, uncle, cousins grandparents) when i was 14. Now back then i was probably beating my meat about 2-4 times a day when I was home. Couldnt even touch my dick because of being on vacation with my relatives and awlays close to them and never got alone time. So we went to this nice restaurant in some part of Italy where my grandparents grew up. I went to the bathroom to piss and found out that the stalls were kinda like small little rooms. You couldnt see under or over it in any way so I had a lot of privacy. Said fuck it, went into the stall and beat my dick like there was no tomorrow. I came out like 10 minutes later fucking sweating and my relatives looked at me weird and ask if i was okay. Said yeah then the night went on.

She was wearing some grey leggings.
Thick as hell, a little on the fat side but.
She didn’t notice cause her back was turned and she was on the phone, she was also older like not too old but prob in her 50’s.
There was a decent amount but I got scared that someone would walk into the aisle we were in and pulled back and nutted the rest in my shorts but there were for sure some noticeable spots on her leggings. Literally the sexiest thing seeing her walk around the store with my cum dripping from her ass.
Nope, she never noticed. Also I did it in a Walgreens and there is never someone checking the security cameras. You can pretty much do whatever you want. I do this every now and then cause it’s just so much fun. The hard part is finding a nice ass on a oblivious woman.

Can people see when you fap in the car?

In school on some hidden steps.

Depends if your on a multil-lane highway then yes. If you have tints or in a one lane street then doubt it. Ive done it once on the way home from the gym, just had this overcome of horniess and jerked off on a one way street. Fucking pulled a nerve doing that when I came. I recommend not jerking it in the car.

school lunch room
school library
jesus anywhere and everywhere ive ever been

I’ve cum in my moms body lotion

No working camera

I jerked off in my younger cousins bed. I was 14... she was young. Young young. Panties smelled like heaven. Came all over her sheets.

>2019
>no working camera
>larper detected

Score booth at the little league baseball park in my hometown, while keeping score for a game, age 13

I recently got caught jerking off in a hospital after my surgery

>tfw hot ebony nurse caught me jerkin'

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you should get a remote control vibrator and use it while you're in front of the class

sooo it's okay if women wanna fuck kids ;)

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mother fuck I had a similar experience when I had myself checked in for being suicidal
went to fap on the second night and got so close then a nigger nurse popped in, saw what I was obviously doing and left very quickly
they stopped checking on me after that

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classroom
movie theater
target dressing room

Church

Most unusual or weirdest?

Though not out of the ordinary at all for a place to fap, hands down weirdest was in a booth at a porn store. Was travelling, bored, and decided to pull off to check this place out. Saw they had an arcade and I'd never been in one. No gloryholes or anything, but people kept knocking on the door. If I hadn't seen what was standing around when I walked into the back, I might've opened it. All nasty looking fat old guys. Weird as fuck.

Holding cell downtown. Was stupid horny and had to kill the time some how..

What the fuck is wrong with you people? This whole board is full of pedos.

Alleyway between some houses while delivering papers. Regularly jerk it to the bra and panties section of the Sears or The Bay flyers. Loved the bikini sections in the summer months. Would nut into the bushes or onto the pictures in the flyers and chuck them out after.

on a bus

principals office and during class

next to my sleeping gf in bed

Empty Burger King kids play area back when I was homeless.

Where does in a hotel bed with my aunt sleeping next to me middle of the night while on a vacation when I was about 16 rank? Jerked off for years after that thinking about the bit of cum that got on her sweatpants, Still do now and again.

Storage room at my first job while feeling a mannequin up and licking the hard plastic tits while on my lunch break middle of the night.

did same in history

In the back seat of my sisters car under a blanket pretending to be asleep. She had music on & was focused more on talking to her boyfriend in the passenger seat. Edged four times but I had nowhere to cum so I didn’t

Used to work at Macy's as a truck unloader. Jerked off in the storage area.

Homeroom Biology freshman year and a Managerial Office of a Papa Johns.. both were received handjobs

in a crawl space

Well I had autographed by the actual celeb Because in 10 years they will be a shota who puts his younger sibling into his mother's belly.