Depression bread

EcT

Psychedelic drugs don't usually solve that anyways.

Sorry for not being helpful but yeah.

I've cut contact with all my friends (and family) because I didn't enjoy their company anymore.
Now that I'm alone I don't feel better or worse, just less stressed out.

Have you tried killing yourself?

Weed gave you scary bad trips?
You probably do need to see a doctor.

I take this back I feel like a dick after reading your post

It can dramatically change your perception.

Mybe ur just a big fuckin baby

Same, except for psychedelic drugs and hookers. Honestly, I think about my suicide a lot. I don't have the best genes and I'm already "past my prime" My mind is still as sharp as it ever was for now, but my body is not going to last beyond 60 years. Given the fact that have arthritis in most of my joints and my hands shake when I make a fist sometimes, I'd say my brain is on borrowed time. I'm 36 and I've been depressed since the late 90's. There's really only one thing that keeps me going: Curiosity. From my earliest memories in the 80's to where we are now, I've seen so many advancements in technology and science that I am continually intrigued. We have people walking around with robot arms now. Cheap Hondas that go faster than most of the fastest cars of my youth. I just want to see what happens. Every time I see some new amazing thing I get a little more excited for the future. Hell, maybe by the time I get to the point that I can't walk they'll have a cure for it, or something much cooler than an electric scooter.

That's a legit question. I often thought about it this way: "if tomorrow I still feel like shit, then I will do it", but always ended up drinking and going to sleep. Plus I only considered suicide by cop as an option, and it takes some motivation to get through it, which I lacked.

It sounds like an internal struggle, my man. Something that you just have to dig deep inside to find. Why do you feel this way? Just a chemical imbalance? An environmental thing? Maybe you're in a rut; or it could be as simple as "just getting over it". Some people have a really hard time dealing with this shit, but the only real way to fight those demons is to figure out exactly what they are first.

Find a hobby and invest your free time into it. Finding something that you like to do can help.

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Me too

That really sucks. Thinking about suicide a lot, I feel you on that.
But at least you have some hope in form of your curiosity, I guess.

Good advice, but I've thought about everything that could be the source, and tried a lot over the years (as you can see in my first post).
My last hope currently is that I may have ruined my hormonal balance by exercising too much for years, so I'm talking a long break for now.

I already have a lot of hobbies, I just don't enjoy them anymore at all, I also tried finding new ones but nothing interests me.

Suicide is kind of like a companion at times. When you're like me, it's a choice of making your life your own, or letting nature fuck you in the ass until you don't even know who or what you are anymore. In the mean time, let suicide be a friend. Friends don't hurt you intentionally. Sometimes they drift away though as life happens. While you're friends with suicide, instead of uneasy companions it's easier to focus on the here and now. You'll always know it's there but there's no urgency or drive to do anything about it. I'm not sure how much sense this in making. I'm doing a bit of drinking because it's my friday.

philosophy and psychology helped me a bit. Its a bit of a distraction

Like b just don't be a pussy

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If that doesn't work, my only solutions left will be alcoholism, being on amphetamines everyday, or just waiting for my death while feeling like shit.

Since you have nothing to live for. Join the military. They're always looking for recruits.

If you join the military they can give you a reason to exist while teaching you diacipline. They also offer career opportunities which can give you some goals for the future.

I only worked in the military

I agree with this. I wish it were an option for me, but I'm not physically able. Most of my family is military and while only a few made a career out of it, all of them left the military as better people.

I'd suggest getting your hormones checked out like your testosterone.

Honestly, it depends on your body. I'm on remeron which is proven to increase cravings on carbs and cause you to gain weight. I'm on a keto diet and actually losing fat though.
I was on the same boat as you and accepting medication was one of the last things I was planning to do... before killing myself.

That sucks user. If you have the money, have you ever thought about sightseeing? Traveling the world can be good.

I've thought about it, but I'm taking the hard road of life. Physical and mental issues could get me some extra cash if I pursued it, but I'm a bit prideful and stubborn. I want to work while I can even if it doesn't earn me a luxurious life. My life isn't hard right now and that's the silver lining. Also, it shames me a bit, but I like calling out neets. I'll be one eventually, but not while I'm still able.

Best of luck to you user.

Thanks. Best of luck to you as well.

try stealing stuff
nothing beats an adrenaline hit

Actually good advice

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I'm suicidally depressed; Have been for a long time.

Six months ago, I thought I had finally beaten it and fixed myself. I was in the best shape of my life, going to college, working, going on dates...

Everything since then has fallen apart. Right now I'm living with my mom again, I've gained weight, isolated myself from my friends, and I've stopped doing everything I used to care about. Nothing brings me joy any more

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Any idea what could have made the depression reappear?

i've read it as the depression 'reaper' and i was 100% sure it's correct

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include me in the screencap

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Quick fix- amphetamines
Long term- what ever you gain from phets/nothing

The only thing that keeps me sane is devotion, meditation, finding which was lost a very long time ago.
All forms of pride disconnect me from god and trap me into the tiny life drama prison.
There isn't much left today, it is a wasteland.
I have never experienced feeling truly home somewhere, because there is no more home like there once was.

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100% psychedelic drugs can solve depression for up to 6 months or more! There is a reason its almost fucking legal . 5 grams of mushrooms silent darkness

It was the psychadelics that did it eventually for me.
Didn't do much for you?

The FDA completely disagrees.

>.5 grams silent darkness

That's a microdose. You aren't supposed to do that in a microdose. Typically you got about your day and continue to microdose every few days.

>Forced myself to smoke
Why though? If you're full of shit then, no you didn't "force" yourself to do shit moron.
If you're not then why? Just sell/toss/plant it. Same level of wasted as "forcing" yourself through another bad trip

I don't think you're unhappy cause life isn't good to you. I think you're unhappy cause you're stupid. Have you tried getting an education? It helps put things in perspective.

I did 4g shrooms, that was an absolutely incredible experience, very spiritual, mind blowing, etc. But soon after, the brain chemicals (or I don't know what) go back to their previous state.

How did you cure yourself with them?

Watch Asmongold

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Did I hit a nerve just because I said I don't like weed?!

Holy fuck.
Those are words straight out from my brain.
Are you me?

That's the problem.
It's not the sadness, it's the fact that nothing seems to have a point anymore, everything is dull and not enjoyable.

It doesn't do much for brain chemicals. It gets picked up by seratonin receptors but it mostly causes your brain to be hyper connected and allows new connections to form. For a depressed brain it basically works like jumping a car battery. Gets everything moving fast and hard in hopes your brain goes "oh yeah, that's how I happy and motivate".
The mysticism part of it can help with perspective, but it's not the primary function, and it's why microdosing works. You don't get high but it's still causing a lot of cross talk and neural firing which helps form new connections and neural pathways.

Anyway I microdosed. I keep a mood journal because I have ADHD and it's important to monitor my moods.
My app charts my moods and before lsd it looked like a heart beat monitor. Up and down constantly. Now it's more of a flat plain.

Anxiety is gone, suicidal thoughts went away, I'm more outgoing and motivated, less quick to anger.

You don't really have hobbies if you don't like doing them anymore. I have One only reason to live, which is my passion and my work (I am a musician), I am very Happy and just because or It. You have to find something like playing an instrument. It can make your life worth to be lived. And realise that you, just like me and us, you are just a small dot in a small Planet in an enormous universe, you mean nothing and so does your life. So you are free to do whatever you want, included doing nothing. Knowing this makes me feel better.

>Don't like hobbies anymore

Dude that's Hallmark depression. When you don't like things you used to. It's because your reward system stopped working, not because the hobby isn't for you.

Thanks for explaining.
I've looked into microdosing (shrooms because hat's the only thing I can get semi legally), and it seemed to be something that takes very long to work and don't produce that much results.

Don't you feel energized and motivated just with ADHD meds though?

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Spravato (Es-ketamine) is the newest antidepressant.

That shit will cure you all immediately. it's a nasal spray. FDA approved. They're also working on psilocybin for depression.

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This.
It's really alienating to receive so many advice from people who are well intended, but seem to have never suffered from severe depression.
The fact that I don't like my hobbies anymore, or any kind of hobby, or anything, IS the problem.

many (75%+) persons are trump-supporters. anger, hatred and aggression are a side effect of depression. those qualities also reside in trump's base. cure yourselves and find out how to love and embrace. stop being miserable misanthropes, and join the human race!

They don't work for everyone and sadly I'm one of them.
Most the issue is they made me really aggressive and outbursty with emotions, and I did a number on my marriage before I realised it was the drugs doing it. And they didn't help a whole lot with a lot of the other symptoms anyway.

I had to find an alternative. I've been using 1p-lsd which I get sent legally.
I found one big trip relieves all symptoms and then microdosing maintains it.

You best be fucking trolling fucking 5 grams in silent darkness is the average dose. Thats a fucking period you dumb fuck.

i tried oxy, it helped until it wore off and i killed myself, that still helps

No...? Did you read anything I typed?

Thank you for reinforcing my point. Lol

The period is disconnected from the last sentence and starting on the next line for me. I'm on mobile. It looks more like it belongs to the 5.
My honest mistake Mr. Anger pants.

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Oooh... Spoopy. :)

He probably means anxiety sometimes shit be making you feel worse

>I did a number on my marriage before I realised it was the drugs doing it
When the drugs so good they are marriying you

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Nah, real bad trips, like I am covered in tarantulas, the floor and the walls are crawling tarantulas, I am breathing and shitting tarantulas and there is a 2 meter high tarantula in my house waiting to feed on me - kind of trip

Antidepressants dude

I would think about jumping in front of the train every day on my way to school. Now I don't, and I haven't for about a year

invest 5 to 7 months, put all your sweat and cum into a folder that literally just has a bunch of random images, doesn't matter what.
i mean its a pretty epic hobby right?
thats what i did and managed to get to 1109 before it got deleted for no good reason and then i became a autist from my anger of loosing 1109 innocent vietnamese children