Hey Yea Forums

"Take a large cucumber, squash, watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe, cut a hole to fit your erection in one side, and a smaller opening the size of a pencil in the other. Hollow out the inside to fit your circumference and then screw the squishy goodness. You can place your finger over the small hole and remove it to adjust the draw to simulate the effect of getting a blowjob." from LA Weekly

borderline mods

I cut my dick.

Doing that

What did you use? The outside of the fruit seems dangerous

it pisses me off that teenage boys have a bigger dick than me

>pro-tip
> Cut penis size hole in melon
> Pop melon in the microwave for 3 mins on full power
> insert penis into body temperature melon
> profit

I used a banana once

jesus christ OP cant you just fuck a human vagina?

I tried with a cantaloupe. It wasn’t pleasurable

Watermelon was really sticky and cold cuz I took it out the fridge. Banana peel’s sticky but not cold so it’s better, I’d still recommed a self made or bought fleshlight tho

Not a fruit but cucumber kind of works. But you need a thick cucumber. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. .. mostly tried it for interest

Attached: IMG-20180417-WA0001.jpg (899x1600, 134K)

I fuck the couch in my living room when home alone and record it sometimes. Got the idea off the Internet some years ago, feels really good. AMA
erome.com/a/Qs1MGAQi

Attached: Screenshot_2019-03-22-02-30-23.png (800x480, 263K)

Attached: hot in the city.png (965x572, 465K)

Cucumber is a fruit * fact checked*

I used a banana peel, it was pretty neat, but that shit gets all bruised and gross way too fast

Too much up keep

I've fucked a watermelon. Long story short, it isn't worth it at all

pic related is fucking glorious user

Attached: my sides.jpg (600x600, 19K)

more importantly, who are those bois, they're pretty cute

Why is there so many things that can somewhat replicate a dick but nothing come close to replicating a pussy? The injustice.

Are you having a laugh? Lubbed up semi-stretched asshole, Bad Dragon fleshlight, a tongue. Pussy is just glorified trash for normies, fuck off.

Attached: 1478885296480.jpg (625x535, 73K)

Body heat and warmth

put a hole in a potato. smear vaseline in hole. put in microwave for like 30 seconds. test to make sure warm and not too hot. fuck potat

try a cactus

Story time.
>be me
>working at grocery store
>we're closing up for the night
>oh no! there's no room for the watermelon in the fridge!
>It's cold enough outside, so we leave the bin of watermelon outside unattended
>go home after we close
>get super baked
>"ah shit, i'm hungry as a muhfugga"
>live only few blocks away from work
>walked there, stole a watermelon, and walked home
>get even more baked
>get idea
>"dude, what if I cut a hole in this thing?"
>cut hole, put dick in it
>"awww shit, that feel good man"
>fuck it until I cum inside
>still hungry since I haven't eaten yet
>get another bright idea
>cut watermelon in half
>ate around the section where I fucked
>pass out from exhaustion
>wake up
>watermelon stain all over bedsheets
>totally worth it

Attached: bPYnneQ.jpg (1024x762, 178K)

Am gay retard. Anyone got sauce on this gif?

Hollowed out a cucumber, put a small hole in it to allow a vacuum release. Felt great

i fucked a melon and it felt great

I bet

there a sauce to this?

Just find a real boy butt to plow. Jesus.

Attached: 1552285711980m.jpg (576x1024, 57K)

Okay Yea Forums so last year I fucked a pumpkin
>be me
>bored as shit
>my mom tells me to throw away pumpkin because Halloween is over
>get great idea
>I’m gonna fuck the pumpkin.jpeg
>take pumpkin into bathroom and cut a dick shaped hole into it
>lube that shit up
>place towel underneath just in case it’s insides leak
>fuck that pumpkin like the whore it is
>just about to cum
>pumpkin cracks and splits open because I put all my weight into smashing that sweet orange hole
>pumpkin bits everywhere
>clean up using the towel and throw out the smashed up pumpkin

And now I have to look at this stained orange towel every damn day and remember that pumpkin I stuck my dick in years ago

Faggots count as fruits

kek

Always wanted to suck that dick and eat out that salty watermelon

Attached: watermelons.png (742x290, 13K)

Attached: 9421941844.jpg (1514x1624, 191K)

de.xhamster.com/videos/fucking-watermelon-2069666

nobody saying a banana?

>peel banana
>eat banana
>keep banana peel
>find something slightly bigger than the banana
(if youre small a toilet roll, if youre bigger i just held the peel)
>stroke yourself with it

it just gets better the longer you use it because the inside of the rind gets all slippery and gooey and smells nice, and the cumshot feels really good because its easily changed to your needs.

maybe try two bananas for this and merge the peels together into a fleshlight.

I got grapefruited once. That's probably the closest I ever came to actually fucking a fruit. It was...okay.

just stick it p your ass

ive gone through like 2 because I keep forgetting to clean them... a real girl has easier upkeep

>Anybody ever fucked a watermelon or any other fruit?
Yep, your dad.

>"Hey man, hold this melon while I fuck it."
I will never have a friend like that.

Attached: ac.jpg (255x253, 9K)

>Potato

Attached: Chris_Burke.jpg (1703x2559, 281K)

Kids got a piece on him

Attached: 7BF2378E-B69D-4CDE-9FE9-8B6BA68C9906.gif (245x210, 551K)

I fucked a pineapple core for a girl once.
Came hard
We didn't know that they have barbs in the fruit.
Dick was sore and swollen for a week.

Spend the $4 and find out for yourself fruit fag

discord
=|+|=|850|=|+|=
.gg/Bsyufq6a

Dead invite

Dead inside

Lol

just buy a 20 dollar fleshlight off amazon you fucking moron

IOI

Just get a sex doll, you cheap bastard. They are made for fucking and you can buy any kind you like. And they have no seeds to scratch up your dick.

Kids isn't science amazing.

Attached: 1553189045257.jpg (500x550, 45K)

FUCK. YO. COUCH. NIGGA

based post

Hollow out a cucumber and put in the microwave so it’s warm and fuck away my man