I've just taken the most traumatic shit of my life
>straining for three hours >drenched in sweat >get in the shower >hold ringpiece open >spray hot water onto the compacted fecal matter from the shower head >finally it starts to move >ringpiece feels like it's about to explode >finally the avalanche starts >first lump breaks free and falls to the depths like an atom bomb >then it really gets going >I shit like a box of carpet slippers falling through a trapdoor >oh blessed relief >it's over >stagger to my feet >takes three flushes to clear my droppings away >it's been half an hour >ringpiece still recovering
I don't know how faggots can possibly enjoy this shit
I had something similar happen years ago. Was stopped up for days, only got a tiny scrap of shit out any time I was on the toilet. After sitting for another 30 unproductive minutes, I reach back to wipe, maybe convince my anus to release, but I feel...a lump.
A lump, an inch or two above my asshole. Fucking tumor! I have a fucking tumor and its blocking my shitchute! I press gently on the tumor, trying to gauge how big it is, how long I'm going to be in the hospital...
Twenty minutes later, after I've finished unclogging the toilet, I've figured out that my shit had somehow tried to make a u-turn in my colon, and I was trying to crap a double-wide brick. The tumor was just the end of a massive turd, and poking it nudged it back on the right track.
Thank moot, I've never had it happen again.
Juan Brooks
Jesus user, that's a traumatic shit right there. I was lucky I had some disposable nitrile gloves in the house for when I did the poking around but the shower head hot water trick was what really got things moving.
Ian Hall
My wife has clogged the shitter for the second time in 6 months now.
Everytime she dropped a 10 incher with a diameter like my wrist that is so dense, it wont go around the bend of the bowl. Literally had to let it soak overnight to get it to flush, on the 8th try, mind you.
Jason Brooks
thats not very traumatic compared to your dad forcing you to an enema when youre 4 years old
Dominic Edwards
what the fuck is a ringpiece thanks, -bill
Oliver Howard
pics?
Matthew Williams
what???????
Blake Fisher
trips send pictures of that if you have some
Justin Clark
youve gotta be fucking kidding me.
im talking about my experience what the fuck do you mean pics?
Jacob Williams
Been over a decade now but here’s the story. Was constipated beyond belief. Biggest widest shit I’ve ever had. Stuck in my Ass. Won’t come out. Strain for 30 minutes. White and broken out into a cold sweat. Get desperate and reach back there. It’s partway out but hard as a rock and won’t budge. Decide I can’t take it anymore and start digging it out with my bare hands. Managed to chip enough of it away to start passing it normally. Hand covered in shit but finally achieved blessed relief.
Wyatt Baker
I recently took a shit that felt so so great, like a true release of all stress. A shit so glorious, not even an orgasm could come close to. Afterwards I ironically felt like shit; like a trap had raped and dishonored my asshole - the source of everything beautiful and perfect.
Samuel Collins
>poop knife tell me, does your wife eat a lot of fiber and protein rich foods
Dylan Long
also my dad is dead
Charles Rogers
when you finally drop a shit like a baby's arm the relief is magnificent
Carter Morales
are you fucking retarded or have you never actually taken a shit?
Liam Williams
You shat in the shower? Wtf Dodd
Grayson Phillips
checked
and no, the hot water just got it loose then I dropped it in the shitter like any normal individual would
Dylan Parker
nice
Blake Robinson
Fun fact: Andre the Giant used to shit in bathtubs because no normal toilet could handle him. This is not a joke. This was his reality. The dude was 7 feet tall and weighed 500lbs. No shitter can take that much man.
No but its very inconvenient whenever you are out and about, not to mention you shit so much that wiping becomes this painful burning process
Jason Wilson
>liberal detected
David Anderson
2 months ago >on medications for an infection >one causes shits, the other causes no shits in a bad way >second one kinda wins >in a haze for about a week from the pain meds >finally get clear, realize i haven't shit in a week >prepare for the worst >stool softener the night before >hour on the toilet, call into work to tell them i'm not going to make it in >finally, SOMETHING pops free >then slime >nothing but slime and the absolute most rancid shit i have ever smelled >feel something touch my ass, realize its my shit >clench as hard as possible, throw the towel off the hook next to me across the floor, slide off, shit caking my ass >crawl to the shower, toss my ass over, continue shitting into tub >its a grey, pasty slime, intersperesed with chunks of green colored blobs >after another ten minutes, finally stop shitting. >rinse self off as i rinse the tub out. spray down tub with several layers of lysol >realize that i somehow managed to get to the tub without dropping any shit on the floor >turn the vent on, can barely breathe >toilet filled to within an inch of the brim of shit. >hook hose up to laundry sink >give the toilet an enema > finally get it nearly empty and there is just a rock solid chunk of shit about 4 inches wide and 4 inches long, try to break it up with plunger, end up wrestling it out and tossing it outside (live in country) >breathe a sigh of relief. >fuck medications >also, go outside the next day, chunk of shit is gone. some fucking animal grabbed it as a chew toy i guess. idfk.
Luke Wright
Last week I took a shit and it felt like a 4 inch diameter log of concrete was coming out. It was well over a foot long. Just solid and rock hard.
Hunter Bennett
i have the exact opposite problem. I have to shit all the time, but very little comes out most of those times. i have one solid one a day that is just fine, but the others are tiny most days. but yeah, the wiping sucks.
Brandon Garcia
I have crohns, but it's not that symptomatic. So I'll know your pain when I'm older and the meds stop working. Cheers.
The second one, never taken a shit. Now answer the question
James Rivera
the trick is simple - pour boiling hot water, close lid, let it sit for a while
the hot water breaks it apart, it also gets the bits that stick to the porcelain
if it's really stubborn, keep the stove on and always have a pot boiling, and just continuously run to the bathroom and pour the water in when it's properly bubbling with heat
it honestly works better than most plungers, even the biggest of logs will eventually disintegrate with enough boiling water
