Good ways to get rid of bodies, Yea Forums ?

And here is the point, where you are wrong.
I am from Russia and this shit is really in common here.

Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."

>muriatic acid
but it'll take days, maybe weeks.

You bury it under a dead dog. If the corpse dogs come sniffing, the police will stop when the hit the dog as a false signal.

Or, bury it under an open grave. They'll bury another body on top. Who's gonna look for a corpse in a graveyard???

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He serves the many faced god

If I remember right, a trashbag, limestone, heavy chain, and cinder block. After that you just need some deep water.

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T-Virus

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Pigs

stab them with an icicle

open field, a good grinder

good fertilizer though

I think this is scientific reasons or cause wou are writing a novel right op? Use KOH or NaOH. No acids but Bases. The colliquative necrosis is helpful.

What you need to take great care of disposing is the bones. Even if no one finds it with the meat attached theres still always a change of bones being found. You can eat the meat or feed it to neighborhood dogs or if you have a pig farm nearby. You can bake the bones in the oven at 450° for about 5 hours and they'll be brittle enough to pulverize with a simple hammer. Then you just spread the dust in your garden.

Thanks Mr. Bricktop!

Shitcicle

of course

I take mine to my special place, shoot them behind the ear and put them in the well with the others.

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paint them with several coats of white enamel base and prop them up in your garden. tell people they're statues.

>shit is really common here
>but i can not tell you how it is done
>because of reasons

prop them up on the seats at a bus-stop. nobody will notice for weeks, even the bus drivers.

they're already dead.

He literally just explained it, retard.

That's sexy

1. cut the body into small managable pieces
2.use hammer to destroy the face and fingers,
3. burn the fingers and face, (this process makes it harder to identify if found.
Bonus, get rid of fingernails and hair since forensics.
4. Seperate the parts in different double trash bags, to start the actual getting rid of.
5.use bleach to destroy the cells on all bags.
6. locate parks in different states than yours.
(usually states dont really communicate for this sort of thing, so if something is found, it will be incomplete and untraceable.
7.you dig in a unmaned aread, and hide it.
8. Dont be a obvious motherfucker, get yourself a costum, like forest ranger or someone that looks ike works on the woods.

This is one method if you cant get hydrochlohoric acid.

you can always buy large dogs, or if you are in a area with gators use them.

last option is higtail it to mexico.

forgot to mention destroy the bones, you dont need to take the meat out, just hammer that bitch. will help you in the decomposition proces plus the bleach.

Thats too much work my dude

All wrong.
Hairs? Why bother.
Burn it? Again why bother.
Destroy teeth? Why bother.
All of these are redundant after the use of DNA, almost all cells contain it except the hair, you're shaving it and leaving the roots in the skull, what's the point? Disposal is what you're after then you may as well keep the DNA all in one place and just ensure that it isn't found.

Perforate lungs? A good start, but long deep cuts to all the major muscle groups from joint to joint will stop the build-up of gases, dismemberment is better but leaves a lot of mess.
20 lbs? you would need that much weight just for one leg after cutting, the gases that do build will eventually disperse as the body is predated and as long as you make sure it doesn't surface no-one will find it.
Drown it? I thought the body was already dead, after all of the steps I have given you so far it would be dead anyway.

Fast and deep river? Probably the worst advice here, still water allows the body to find rest and it won't be driven up in floods in the spring and autumn, the bones will also stay where they are if placed in deep water like a lake or obviously the sea, do not use any river moving water will mean sooner or later moving body parts.

No-one will ever find them, ever.

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This.

Do as Mr Bricktop suggests and make him at tea as well, there's a good lad

Two lumps and a splash of moo?

Bury it and pour concrete in the hole

Pig farm. Those fucking animals will eat absolutely every body part other than teeth and part of the jaw. Feed em to the hogs pick up the handful of leftovers then pulverize those and toss the dust into the closest river. Then, as a bonus, you can eat the hogs...

Eat them

Call 911, they'll send over someone from the coroner's office to retrieve the body. Sorry for your loss

Look up a song called "dead body disposal by necro"

For this step by step guide you'll need
A chest freezer
A powered saw ie bandsaw, disc cutter etc
A wood chipper
Plastic sheeting
Pliers
A reliable car
Access to a body of water

Now the fun part
Place body of your vanquished foe/uncoperative whore/random stranger into the freezer (live or dead is unimportant. Wait a week. Cover work area in plastic sheets. Remove body from freezer. Pull the teeth and flush. Using saw dismember body into easy to handle chunks (remember the saw will melt the frozen blood, don't cut too long in one place to avoid splatter.) Put chunks back into freezer to prevent thawing. Once done use plastics from floors to wrap body parts, three layers should do and return to freezer.
Disposal day, load cool boxes full of parts into trunk with wood chipper and head to the lake/river/pond etc. Chip the parts into the water to let the fishes do the work. Rinse blades and contaminated parts of chipper. Head to municipal dump site and dump cool box and chipper. Clean car. Clean freezer. Plan next one

Yay on the Moo juice, nay on the sweetness

Why do you wanna dispose of perfectly good meat? Just chop the body and consume it during a course of couple of months. Dont waste food its ungratefull