Gf of 8 years left me

Banging someone else always helped me. Get her out of your system and all that. I'm serious.

I suggest staring at yourself in the mirror until you are completely uncomfortable with the eye contact, and then stare at yourself for at least twice as long. Once you hit the discomfort, you will likely figure some shit out and gain confidence.

easier said than done, im going to have to move back in with my parents

It sucks now but dude you are way too young to have found "the one". This will be a blessing for you later.

Trust me, in a few months maybe a year maybe two you'll be glad this happened. There's life, not just other women but that too, out there for you to explore. It's essential for you to do this or youll never be truly happy.

Youll take some time to heal from this but youll also grow from this and learn. Next relationship youll find you're much happier as well.

15 yr old you is a completely different person to 23yr old you.

And when you're 27 youll be entirely different again.

Youll find your partner for life soon enough.

Take your time to grief but this is an experience you needed to have.

It will take time, but it gets better. You can speed this process up by working out, eating well, not drinking excessively and fucking other women.

I'm in the same spot as you, friend. Gf of six years left me two weeks ago with exactly the same reasoning. Now I'm left with three cats and a beautiful flat we shared cause she moved out. Alcohol and meeting and fucking random girls for the past weeks helped me a lot. Came to the realization that it might be better the way it is although there are times I still miss her.

honestly it is completely unreasonable to date someone so long without being married. By not proposing you have not only wasted your time but hers as well. in that whole time you and her could have had children and formed a legitimate life together. Man up and find Jesus buddy, you're gonna need him.

Forgot to add that I turn 30 next week and I've never thought of being single once I reach that age

We've talked about marriage before and she never cared about it because it is just a title so she was never in a rush. Children we knew we both weren't ready

Stay drunk for a few more days.

Legitimate life means marriage?
kek
Grow up

There isn't any such thing as ready. The same applies to her as well. If she was stringing you along you should have left. idk how old you are but 8 years is a long time not to have "just a title". She just strung you along for convenience and you did what you thought was right. I've seen the same thing happen to people I know that have recovered. You have to look deeply inside at what you really want and get it. Once you have it own it and never abandon it just because it doesn't make you happy. Happiness is a shitty goal anyway, a better goal is manageable irritation.

Good luck stranger

I wish i was able to meet random women, weve been together so long i forgot how to even interact. I just hate it, weve had our issues and i didnt work as good as i shouldve have on my side and I will always wonder if things couldve turned out differently if i had.

Im 23

being single is also legitimate. being in a go nowhere barren relationship for years is illegitimate, except where involuntary sterility is the case.

Lol are you some religious fag?

It literally makes no difference if you're married or not. People divorce all the time.

8 year and a proposal. She has BPD and dumped me because I "didn't want to marry". I used the money I saved to buy a motorcycle and made friends. She still calls me and we "get back together" for a month or two before she goes insane again. She refuses to get professional help. It just stops hurting like a switch. I used to talk shit about her with my best friend and he would tell me bad stuff she did to me, that helped me the most. Don't let yourself get depressed over it

disregard that then. 23 is so young! You'll find a serious woman soon if you're serious. Use your new freedom to do some travelling or something.

got dumped after 9 years 5 months ago, mind you we have 2 kids and i got cheated on, shit sucked bad for some time but i’ve made my peace and we are on good terms for now, we share parenting and such...also, hooking up with another gal helped a ton

divorce is also illegitimate.

I am, and she was too, she was very loyal. I just never pictured my life with anyone else. And like i said, after this i feel like its how all relationships go after reading other peoples stories and how the people around me experienced theirs.

how long did it take you to get through it?

I felt the same, but somehow it worked. Called old female friends I had no contact with for a long time and one of them was freshly single as well so we helped each other getting over it. I exactly know how you feel but you're so young, you'll get plenty chances to meet women. For now try to make the best of it. Do things you've always wanted to do but couldn't because of her. I recently startet swimming and now go swimming every evening after work. I'm going to get a license for a motorbike that my Gf never wanted me to have. Try to be the best version of you.

Look at life like Marc Aurel: "You always own the option of having no opinion. There is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about things you can't control. These things are not asking to be judged by you. Leave them alone."

A dog wont do this to you.

This seems like a shitty person.

Shes been distant for a couple months. I finally asked her if theres something we should talk about and she told me shes just not happy. I was drinking alot last year and never really saw her because she has to take care of her mom alot. I was getting depressed and the depression turned to frustration and I said some things that she couldn't get over and that's why shes gone. I never physically or mentally abused her and I've tried changing myself the best I can but when you feel like you're the only one that's trying to better yourself and you're alone constantly it gets difficult to keep it together. I just really dont feel I can be in another relationship after this. I'm trying to think maybe it's for the best but I'll always wonder if things could've been different and how she is in life. I tried talking about it with but she says her mind is up. It is what it is. It's just a really hard pill to swallow

Not in a place to get a dog right now. I've wanted a German shepherd for years and planned on getting one after school

not entirely sure i’m perfectly over it, the first 3 months were a shit show that’s for sure, nowadays i just miss having a family really, but hey, at least i can see my kids on a regular basis

Yeah
I dont really see myself getting over this one

Unfortunately this is the risk when you put all your eggs in one basket,I’m still getting over a similar situation. you’ll find love again if you live long enough and when you find it you’ll be more prepared and less vulnerable. I’m sorry man but these next couple of a years are gonna beat you up. But if you pull through you’ll be a tough sob.

Yeah. Just trying to figure out how to get through it. Feels like my hearts been taken from my chest

...

What's your situation

So your girlfriend was only 8 years old? Maybe she didn't leave you. Maybe her mother called and it was time for her to go home.

What worked for me was smoking weed and studying philosophy meditation concepts on thoughts and moods and our control over it, essentially what I did was over the course of a year was jot down things I thought were important in pushing her away and what was her fault and or mine, so I managed to figure out I have anger issues some insecurities and some controlling tendencies and some bad impulse control, I then used exercise for the impulsive behaviour and burn some energy and release some feel good chemicals instead of using weed. What I’m tryna say it was like a constant switching out and discarding of beliefs and habits, even quit cigarettes along the way too. Took a lot of small goals to get back to where I fault in control again and finally a person to talk to irl who would acc listen. All that stopped me from kill myself so it’s worth something, just gotta get obsessed with trying to get normal again it’s my only advice. Try everything.

And my girlfriend of 4 years cheated on me with one best friend and then left me for my other best friend leaving me with no social circle and a great deal of emasculating shame and no one to talk too about my mental health, shit got a little wild after that but I’m stable now

All relationships that start in teens will end

I've looked into buddhism more since it started being this way. It's just going to be hard to get myself out this downward spiral

I wish it wasnt that way

>since i was 15, im 23 now.

You lucky bastard !

I thought you were some old fag in his 40s with kids and child support, broken, sleeping on a couch with a house to pay where you ex-wife is having sex with your neighbor...

Lucky you, enjoy your life, you have so many years ahead fucking so many pretty girls.

BE SMART AND REMEMBER ONE THING FROM YOUR STORY :

!!! N E V E R G E T M A R I E D !!!!

you will live an happy life

It will be hard to come out of it, most people usually need an event, that’s why when I felt myself go down the spiral I just let myself go I knew I’m the type of guy that has to hit rock bottom to go up unfortunately, but you can fake an event you make something up like if you have family member you can mentally make a note that I’m gonna live for them, you don’t have to tell them but little acts of kindness towards your dad or some cousin you never see does a lot for rebuilding trust in people and you feel like less of a loser aswell. So i’d say look for the little things man, I know your minds probably like mine where your thinking how can I be a millionaire or get abs and make that bitch feel bad for leaving me but the solutions are usually something closer to making someone in your life smile. And if you have no one in your life go buy a meal for a hobo. Sounds weird but this is all stuff I did that pulled me back from the edge. And I have legit no idea why it worked for me btw I’m no expert.

Fuck man that's fucking brutal

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yeah, its a plus i dont got that going on, it just feels like running into a brick wall i couldve prevented if i had worked on who i was better, illl always miss her and love her and i know that no matter how much time passes.

>Find jesus
You mean run away from your real problems and devote yourself like some fanatic?

its not gonna change

>how the hell did you guys recover[?]
I didn't. But you will.

You should've been a man, proposed to her years ago, even married her years ago and raise a family with her. She realised she was not dating a man, but a mere boy.

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Oddly comforting hearing that now, at the time the only person I knew that I could confide in about these problems was unfortunately one of the best friends. So I kept all that to myself for year made me so jaded man, wasn’t until I spoke about it that I even started healing and that was a couple years after it.

Threads probably to old and you wont see this but fuck it. You're bound to have this happen at least once in your life and when it happens you feel like shit even more so when you know you loved someone and they openly say they dont feel that way towards you, happened to me with an ex as well. Took about 1 year of casual seclusion while still going to work and talking with friends online about random shit before I realized that there are literal millions of chicks out there better looking than she was who would love nothing more than to get with someone like me and who would love me unconditionally as I do them. Fast forward several years later, I've been fucking random bitches you can pick up by the dozen in either bars, clubs, prostitutes, casinos, wherever you live you can find hoes to sate yourself until someone comes along that's worth your time and shows you they are by openly telling you they feel love for you sometimes before you even tell them. I found another girl after my 7 year relationship and during the time it took me to meet her not only did I save a fuck ton of money but I also got a lot of side projects done I hadn't realized I wasnt doing due to my ex but also fucked plenty of other women so when the next one comes along I would be sure she wasnt going to have me being distracted and could fully invest in her as she deserves. Find something to occupy yourself man, trust me you'll find another.

Same happened to me, used to drink to wash it down but eventually became even worse... Then one day i was like no more, i wil be happy, focus on my work instead and everything went better than expected.

Women are ruthless.man have the feels and women will cut your throat in public.try not to hurt the new ones.just don't invest too much or the crash will fold you up.get money fuck bitches negro

>i was 15, im 23
She probably never went through her slut phase because she was with you. It eventually caught up with her an she realized she wants to taste more than just one cock while she is young and attractive.

not currently no, but it will get better, shit like this works this way, it’s similar with the death of a loved one, this time it’s a relationship that’s died, grieving process is the same

By being a man and dealing with your emotions instead of trying to dfrown them with alcohol.