Anyone here successfully dealt with an extremely lazy wife? What do I have to do to change her behavior...

Thank you for taking the time to help man truly appreciated

I just don't get how you marry someone and then bitch and moan. Get a divorce faggot

I've never been married so I'm not going to act like I know what this level of commitment is like and how hard it is to separate at this stage, but why not separate for a while or seek marriage counselling or something?

If you are in this situation and can't do anything to improve it without some manipulative shit, then why not take an equally difficult path to a solution?

You are unhappy about something, she refuses to listen to your concerns. What really are your options here aside from some manipulative bullshit that will probably just make things worse in the end?

Is she making anyone else in the side?
Sounds familiar

Not helpful I’m not even complaining just straight up asking advice

Fucking auto correct.

Banging anyone else on the side

Anytime bruh, bitches be crazy but that is not an excuse for being a slob and live in the dirt when 2 people are sharing a place.

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Give her good dick.
Mine cleans, cooks, physically pays our bills, runs most of the errands I work, come home, tinker with my cars, play Xbox, take her to pound town then go to sleep and start the whole cycle over again.

No and as Finicky as women are I’m thankful that our problems are what they are and not that kind of shit.

Do it yourself. Let her know you don't NEED her. I went through that with mine.

Ok maybe I was being to aggressive. Maybe we have different views on marriage because if i was to marry anyone they would have to be an ideal person that i wouldn't want to change

Yeah in my mind I’m already done for and have accepted my fate but truthfully it could be worse she could be fucking other dudes and her attractiveness level is way above mine so that’s probably what keeps me from doing anything drastic.

Doesn’t exist everyone has flaws and laziness is one of the lesser ones when it comes to women

My man, that ain't the idea here. Of course you can deal with everything yourself but there are 2 people living in the same spot to not share the load of doing chores. That way you'll become her slave and not her partner.
But then who am I to give advice in Yea Forums? I'm just an user

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Ok cuck you're just scared because she's out of your league

Ok I’ve kinda theorized that If I was to workout and get fit she would maybe be happier with me and whatnot but fuggen working full time and coming home to cook and clean all the time leaves me tuckered but yea thanks for the help your probably right

Alright man the buzzwords and negativity is not a requirement to post here.

What are you going to do about it?

marriage counseling?

You must immediately impose Sharia law in your household. Peace be upon you.

If she sucks your cock regularly, consider yourself lucky despite her laziness. If she does not, leave.

Lol she does not but I blame my out of shape ness I can’t be mad at someone not wanting to suck fat dude dick wife or not I can’t make excuses for my flaws and call her out on hers

I feel personally that that’s for people with disposable income of which I do not have unfortunately...

then there's probably marriage books in your local library

Ok now this is fucking advice!!!! Thanks man seriously!

Am I fooling myself into thinking that getting fit is gonna solve all our problems? Like it will make me a happier person she will be happier to not have a fat husband and everything will get better right??

If this is ian. Leave her dude.

It’s not man and you gotta understand giving up is the easiest way not the best!

can't hurt to get in shape, but u should really do it for yourself...although i've heard stories where ppl were treated better when they lost weight

If you married her and she was already like that your an idiot. She won't change no matter what you do. She especially won't change for you. Remember women are self centered as fuck; if it won't benefit them they don't care. It sounds like ya fucked up

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Oh if it was ian youd understand only option left is to leave. But as for advice. Communication. Talk to her tell her exactly how you feel. My wife and i occasionally do a "how can i be better for you" thing. And improve things constantly for eachother. If your wife dosnt want to improve or change then either live with it or get out. Theres no middle ground if you want to be happy and not resentful. She might have things bottled uo she wants to tell you as well or have you change. You should check your diet for soy and get rid of any you consume. Hit the gym. Its always good to be healthy.

Hey that’s not bad news eh? And some people including me legitimately don’t give a fuck about themselves enough to “do it for you” I need a man external motivation for most things in life if I could make a body double for myself and go fucking die in a forest I would but that would make some people sad and I’m not about burdening people ya dig?

Are we married to the same chick? Spot explained my wife and our situation. Make sure you have fully empathized with what she actually does do/what you do. Other than that, thanks everyone that was trying to be helpful. Hail Satan

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As long as long as your both cooking and cleaning.

Huh thanks for the help brah!
This is food for thought thank you

So after reading some of the responses it seems that you have tried genuine communication, and approaching her carefully about this, but she just throws tantrums and gets upset.

Was she always like this, and if so what was it that got you to this stage with her since marriage doesn't just happen by accident.

And if she wasn't like this, what changed to make her this way? Since she sounds very lazy and easily upset over the hint that she might possibly be in the wrong.

OP here thanks everyone again I think I’ve convinced myself I have no place to complain till I get my shit together (mainly weight) not saying you can just let a woman treat you however but honestly fat people are scum me included and who gives a fuck what they want. I’m honestly feeling refreshed because this gives me a goal and something to accomplish

i mean fucking other women

hey OP, I have a similar situation with my wife ever since we moved in together ( 5y ), she's spoiled and grew up with her parents doing everything for her... add to that the fact she's depressed in general and you got my shitty life.

Honestly, I dont wanna be the dick and say it, but I'm close to throwing in the towel, its only getting worse and she's blaming everything on me while I'm almost dying from having to deal with everything at home and at work.

I'll tell you what I dont have the guts to ask myself, look 5 years from now, do you see the situation progressing into something better? if you'll have kids with her ( if you already dont ) , will that make her less lazy? or you'll have to take care of the kids aswell? if if had the slightest doubt, I'm sorry but I think it's best to move on. I know how hard it is, since I also cant do it either... But it wont get better unless its coming from her.

Man I just think she resents me for not being successful or an ideal (social media’s version of ideal) husband which I cannot fault her for as I feel the same and that makes her short tempered with me at all times not making excuses for anyone just trying to keep it real also don’t think that because I’m self deprecating a little here that I’m some sad sap whining to my wife I never have let on that I think everything is my fault because I’m not into being weak in front of people

Hey man I'm just being realistic; try as you might it may work but realistically its a very slim margin. If you married a girl that acts like a toddler then that is how she got her way and she will always use that as a mechanism to get what she wants. Think of it this way; why would she deviate from what she is doing if it means she has to work harder and accept more responsibility? Would you? She wouldn't. I hope your situation improves but if it doesn't then you know why

Bring her with you for workouts. If both of you are lazy sobs its kind of a 2 birds one stone deal.

Brah I work 50-60 hours a week and most of my money goes to rent and living plus I’ve been married 7 years I don’t know how to pull chicks anymore lol it’s a nice fantasy but like they say “you gotta stay in your lane”

This is the thing she has a banging body we’re like a sitcom couple fat regular dude with the super hot wife and she never says anything about my weight but I know it’s gotta bother her looking at 6 packs on social media/TV all day and not having it for herself

>What do I have to do to change her behavior?

kill her.

I doubt you can read her mind. If shes pissed with you, chances are she can smell this sad sack of shit attitude emanating from your pores.

Youre not the man you want to be. Make the change to take the step towards that ideal. Only you can make that change, and ideally you married someone that is willing to help you along the way. If the gym is that first step then do it.

She could probably teach you a couple things then

She doesn’t workout she’s just naturally hot
This is good advice thank you

You leave her and marry someone else who isn't lazy.

There can be no change without a will to do so.

If I was to ever get out of this marriage I would never ever tie the knot again I cannot for the life of me understand why this shit even exists humans are not meant to live this way I’m convinced lol

That being said, it's highly unlikely it's your weight that's the issue. She married you that way. More the attitude. Melancholy isnt a turn on. Grow some stones and self respect OP.

I specifically do not let people in on my inner emotions my dad died in my early teens and since then I don’t really show people sadness period family or friends this thread is the moodiest I get because we are fuggen anonymous

Also I agree it’s probaby not the main issue but I just feel like it would be the biggest catch all to improve my situation

Lastly I don’t think you need self respect to be successful I just simply imitate confident people to a T and others don’t know the difference been doing it a long time now

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Don't get down on yourself. Just evaluate what you bring to the table, what she brings to the table, and decide whether it's fair. If you are getting a bad deal, get a better deal.

This is a good way to look at it thanks for this

End it. Marriages are supposed to be 50/50. If you're putting in most of the effort, and she's along for the ride you should just get rid of the dead weight.

Also, I'm curious. Is she white or black? Almost guaranteed she's not any other race, because Asian, Hispanic etc. women are pretty hard working.

You could just light her on fire. She'll definitely get off her ass then

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My father died of a brain tumor in my teens we all have our sad stories. Im quite similar as far as emotional expression goes, but that's not the point.

Im saying re-read these comments you posted and ask yourself if this is the type of man you respect or deserves your respect? When I read it its a man who feels sorry for himself and thinks a superficial problem is the root cause.

If the gym will give you the confidence you need to approach and demand that respect then do it, but I think its deeper than that.

You live with this woman, chances are she sees through the facade.

I've been married for 13 years, and here's the real skinny. People don't change unless THEY want to. No amount of pleading, fighting, or passive aggressive bs is gonna make her change. You're only hope is to create consequences for her behavior (positive or negative). Offer to cook if she cleans the dishes. Take her to a movie if she does the laundry. Punch her in the gut of she leaves dirty dishes in the sink. OK, not really that last one, but metaphorically so... Smoke cigars in bed for example. If she complains, "well all your dirty clothes in here are so smelly, I figured it didn't matter."

Sadly, even with the above, your chances of success are low since deep down, most people don't want to change.

I can guarantee if she is with OP, she is already doing the majority of the heavy lifting.

Followup after reading the thread more closely:

Yes, get in shape. Not for her though, for you. And once you have more self confidence, she'll be more conducive to listening to you and wanting to please you. And if she doesn't, well you'll be in a better position to find a replacement (and this will not go unnoticed by her).

This guy gets it.

No dude. My wife has always been on easy street since we got married. Now I make $250K and she just spends more and cleans less. I should’ve left her retarded ass before the kids

OP is a faggot who isn’t even in control of his own household, hit the gym man the fuck up and tell that bitch if she doesn’t do her share she’s getting the boot.

How about to tell her to do shit, and you do half the shit that needs to get done in the house. Make an agreement and stop being scared of your fucking wife, you fat fuck. Be a man

have you tried telling her to do shit? if she's become comfortable with being carried by you, that's your fault and the only solution is to tell her she needs to do more.
either that or leave her. not sure what you're expecting here.