This is "i'm sad and i need to vent on Yea Forums hours"

Nicee one...Elon...

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well, I'm pretty sure you know the average talk about that, there's a lot of other fish in the ocean. don't do it for one bitch etc...But i think you'll die if you really have to.

imagine the number of patients they got. obviously, they can't genuinely 100% care for every single one of them.
damn what an achievement!
>be happy
>browsing Yea Forums
choose one

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>damn what an achievement!

Man I don't even think I saw the doctor till the very end. Was talking here and looking shut up online before appointment cuz was nervous. Everything was saying first appointment is just them getting to know you. But I spent like 20mins just talking to this woman where she would ask me a question, give me a minute or so to answer, then respond, then shuffle to next question without giving me any chance to react or elaborate. Then said she needed to talk to the doctor (meaning she wasn't) and just slapped me with a prescription for depression. "What about my anxiety" I asked (which was the main reason I was there but as soon as she saw depression she ignored anxiety and all her questions focused on that) to which she told me it would help with anxiety too. They give little information packets with new meds and it literally says a doctor should never prescribe it for anything other than depression.

been clinically depressed for over a year, have a history of self-harm in my teens too
just started new meds that make me feel suicidal and i can't sleep
don't have a job so cant buy weed which is the only thing that makes me happy, and my whole family guilt trip me constantly about smoking
probably won't kms because mom would be sad

What meds you on? I've been on loads for both depression and anxiety

>imagine the number of patients they got. obviously, they can't genuinely 100% care for every single one of them.

Don't expect them to genuinely care, just to at least pretend to. Also I'm in the middle of red neck country (where people tend to be afraid of doctors) the whole hour I spent in the waiting room doing new patient paperwork there were like 5 people there (counting the people coming out that where already seeing the doctor when I arrived). They have like 3 psychiatrists there and that's not the only doctors they have so it's not like they were swamped.

Wellbutrin

good observation, I noticed a few of those too. thanks for consolidating. let's hang, no pun intended.

didn't go the way you want huh?
you just have to spam them until you get what you want

the average Yea Forumsro. welcome

I like how you would prefer them to pretend to care.

What can I say except you're welcome

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>I like how you would prefer them to pretend to care.
Yeah, as much as it sounds like me being a pathetic sad sack it just shows how fucking worthless I am that people who get paid won't even pretend to care.
Also the thing about caring is even if you are pretending you still have to care at least a little bit.

yeah you definitely need to change, i'm not sure what equivalents there are but when i was on venlafaxine last summer it helped much more for the anxiety.
in my experience, if you understand your condition more (just through reading online) and kind of understand what specifically you need help with, you can be a lot more direct with a dr (or nurse)
also remember to wait a few weeks before changing meds
you probably know all this but i know perspective helps

nah mate the fact that no one cares about you has only a little to do with you. I pass thousands of people that I don't care about each day and they're not all losers. attention is a limited resource. still, lousy service is lousy service and you have the right to demand more than that for your money. try another place.

Yeah apparently my sister was prescribed that as well and she just has anxiety and I've researched online and it literally says it hasn't been approved or recommended to treat anxiety so I think that's just what they throw around over here. Info says it's prescribed to treat major depressive disorder and seasonal affective disorder, and to help quit smoking and that's it. Says in some cases it can even make anxiety worse.

Killing myself on my Birthday 25.03 wish me luck this is the end my only friend the end

sometimes I can forget who I am. I become very focused on my task. If something reminds me I go back to feeling all fucked up.

there is no future...we are dumb apes and our species will die because of this simple fact

venlafaxine helps more in anxiety than depression honestly. It's good to make the things going but you need to be stable first

good luck bruh, haunt the board if you get the chance. actually have you thought about what you will do if death is not the end? also my bday is one day after yours lol.

I hate myself for this. I have a really awesome girlfriend, we fight sometimes but she's the love of my life, but my first girlfriend is still in contact with me, I'm not cheating, we're just friends, but I hide it from everyone cause we were toxic to each other and if I say something now my current gf will be depressed. I'm just stuck

come on man, brexit is only 4 days after, you going to kys before you see britain fuck itself into the ground?

Not that user but I hope there is no afterlife. There is nothing to suggest there is and I'm looking forward to not having to exist ever again.

What do you mean not the end ?
Survive : Shit I'll try again or god has a plan yadayada you get the drill
If I die : Shit I don't know what happens after death . Probably hell for all the shit if done at least it'll be warm . The worst would be being forced to see what happens with your close once after your death . I just hope to find peace .
Congrats to your birthday plus you will know someone offed himself before that day but I'll do it in the night so probably on your birthday as well sorry mate

Britan fucked himself a long time ago when they let all that filth in there country

damn man there's a lot of red flags
you really gotta be careful with meds they can (temporarily) fuck up your head

thanks man, i wished someone had told me that before i wasted 3 months on it

Heavy physical labor job. Doctor says have a moderate spine injury but is dragging ass big time getting a diagnosis out. Would rather keep extending the physical therapy for another 12 weeks like an asshole. Not covered by worker's comp and private insurance won't pay until a confirmed diagnosis is made.

So until this asshole makes a decision I'm stuck going to work like this or not getting paid.

>When i was 5years old i found my mother with her wrists slit in a bathtub was colored vibrant red
>When i was 7years old my mother stabbed my father in the chest with a kitchenknife that went 4cm deep almost killing him (he didnt press charges.....)
>When i was 10years old my mother stabbed me in the arm because i couldnt get away fast enough that time
>When i was 12years old my mother stabbed my father in the back while he was sleeping (not deep this time & he didnt even wake up hours later because he was so ko drunk)

After that just the usual shit that was already going on kept going on like it was normal.
Every day there would be yelling,arguing leading to physical violence and pretty much destroying objects in the process.
This was always how it was & it was "normal" to me.
During the first year of eu "highschool" After doing nothing for 6years still getting 85-95% total overal the year i suddenly had to learn wich i did not enjoy because basicly the family situation made it impossible.
So i just tried my best as i could (i was taking latin) paying attention in the classes and studying during breaks/lunch/after school.
After 2years i said fuck it and decided to switch to a technical direction where i wouldnt have to study again and coast trough it.

maybe cont if any1 wants idc....

I'm doing ok

Yeah I miss the good old days before the french invaded #fuckthebattleofhastings

yeah it doesn't bother me, it's kinda morbid, but it's alright, your life and death are up to you, and maybe you do have it bad enough that you want out, so who am I to stop you. have fun until then and try to die without regrets, or at least with as few as possible.
I'm not a godfag and I doubt the existence of an afterlife too, but since I can't rule it out I like to imagine the hypothetical reaction of an heroes when they see they couldn't run away from themselves after all.

Jesus your mom sounds like a piece of work. Go on, time to vent

Lost almost all function of my legs
Always been a autistic retard

No one likes retards so just might help out and off myself this weekend after work

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its really weird how often you get prescribed something that online resources say is just used for unrelated conditions.

You just have to assume doctors know what they're doing and are relying on similar effects. Everyone is different, so there needs to be room to experiment.

Top kek . I meant the pakis, shitskins and mudslimes mate

There is a lot of new drugs honestly I think the medics are still finding what works for whom

Who knows right .
Well I'll in a few day's. If your right I'm going to find you and put my ghost dick in your mouth for you where right . Meme in death

Alright Farage

Yeah, as much as a dr will know about a medication, because everyone reacts differently itll be more like a calculated guess

If getting cheated on was my biggest problem in life I would run out the door and jump for joy

>what makes you feel like shit

I was raped a bunch of times as a kid by the family that lived across the hall from me growing up in my apartment, they would look after me and my brother and beat my brother.
they knew I was being psychologically damaged by it so they phoned my parents one day and said they thought I would turn out autistic to cover their ass for the psychological trauma.
I was also raped by my best friend at 16, he had me steal shit and then later when he raped me he said if I went to the cops that he would tell them about all the shit I stole.
then my brother had a psychotic break, and my gran had a stroke in the same week. they both got admitted to the hospital, and i was spending a lot of time there, so my girlfriend at the time got mad and left me after insulting my gran and brother. later she got pregnant and started stalking me and acting like the baby was mine, but it wasn't.
I came out as gay after accepting that being raped didnt make me gay, and then my boyfriend began to abuse me.
I broke up with him, and then my cousin was killed in a train derailment.

whats got you so sad, user?

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will you be a hot futa?

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My life story makes me sad.
>mom had me at young teenage age
>real dad is pedophile pothead
>torn my entire life about him, told by mom to talk, also told he's so awful
>be 12
>mom cheats on 1st stepdad with someone and he finds out, she wants a divorce
>first stepdad tries to off himself
>mom takes my siblings and I to live with random boyfriend/2nd stepdad while 1st stepdad in hospital
>random boyfriend ends up hating me when I do regular rebellious teenage stuff
>takes my dogs ashes, throws my books at me, restricts me from interacting
>calls me a demon, a liar, a thief, addresses me as "it" and my siblings use me as a scapegoat
>go through five years of this, only reason I was not physically abused is because he knew he would go to jail
>did not stop him from occasionally touching me sexually and grounding me excessively
>cut off my contact with friends, grounding caused a crippling problem with electronics
>eventually mom has me visit real dad, I jump on it
>mom has me move in with him so second stepdad might become nicer to her and siblings
>essentially says "I want my boyfriend over my daughter"
>spend entire year failing through online school due to panic attacks
>everytime I do schoolwork they come, and nightmares
>real dad takes an interest in me sexually
>stepmother tries to convince me that I show several signs of autism, and belittles me when i have panic attacks
>still cutting
>move out to my aunt's after a year
>get my GED, get first job
>2nd stepdad left my mom because she's a dumb fucking cunt
>can't provide for herself and siblings, moves in with an uncle
>she fucks it up horribly and calls him a psychopath, just like my second stepdad who was only "bad" to her after he left her
>making more money than my mom at barely 18
>mom reaches out to me just to dump things on me, about her sadness and how she got married to a barely 6 month bf, but couldn't get me basic insurance for the little bit of time that was still her legal responsibility

if this is you, A, you should be asleep

I'm a good looking guy sorry mate . But the lady's love me to death . Guys my secret confidence and Hugo Boss Orange the cologne they love that shit

did you fuck your real dad?

That fact their is so much hate and anger in a world we all share. If we all follow a path then why do other hit the dead end

>constantly numb
>constantly listless
>sad and empty
>I never feel truly happy unless I'm giving someone something
>can't even trust or believe that I made that person actually happy, can't believe they aren't lying
>feeling like I'm stealing when I take my own food to eat, or use my own things
>I work, but feel no satisfaction in my life
>always feel like I will never be good enough
>even when I legitimately achieve something
>stopped cutting last August but always feel that urge, in the back of my mind, about how it would make me feel better
I wish I could go back in time, and fix my mom. So that she would be responsible.
And would really care beyond pretending to be my friend, sometimes.
If you have kids, have them at a good age. Take care of them. Love them. Be patient.
Don't hurt your children. Don't scar them, or make them scar themselves.
Please

if that's not a larp, why are you killing yourself?

I'm not A?
no and I'm grateful I didn't have to, it only started picking up towards the end of my time living with him. I moved shortly after. My stepmother and real dad made me leave that night on a flight after recording me the whole day

>I'm not A
then that fucked up life story is basically identical to another regular

I'm sorry about your dogs ashes user.

wut

comparison is the thief of happiness, dont be a dick

The longer I live, the more I find my reservations being chipped away by the masses. Little by little, one thing at a time. Everyone plays at being coy. Clever, go-getters, efficient, interesting. Having it all together. I've sat on my ass, wanting to serve myself, stay out of the bread and circus, and do right by something remotely sound. Recently, I'm starting to think that these gutter-bound plebs aren't worth meekly wringing my hands over. The world is going to shit. Hackneyed, stubborn mindsets have driven us almost all the way there. Folksy nonsense. I'm wasting my potential and my time, my only time, in this mess. All I'm doing is pretending to be less than I could be, just to avoid setting off their fragile egos and complexes. They wouldn't give a first thought about stomping on my fingers... and they'd piss away any opportunity handed to them. Why wait? We're not getting any younger.

It's about time I just take what I can, and fill out the rest of the human experience checklist before I expire. Better men and women have died with more opportunity than me. Better men and women died so that people, including people like me, could somehow move closer to some more meaningful existence. A more complete human existence. A more complete world. I should just go right ahead.

Fuck the sodden masses. Starting wars, wasting resources, quacking rhetoric. Fuck them. There is more to life than this. I'm taking my pie, fuck this dirt.

I'm sorry that another regular has a story anything similar.
Thank you. Out of all the things that happened, it'll always be one of the things that will hurt the most. That dog was there for me when I was a young toddler, and he was one of the only consistent things in my life for a long time.
I read him stories when no one else wanted to listen to me, since I was never the favourite.

all these crybabies make me so sad
how can they be so wah wah?

>m-my gf CHEATED ON ME! sniffle
>wah my AnXIETY
>wah my DEPresSION

jesus these people need to just kill themselves

Well woman ain't shit and yeah it was nice being chad but also very lonely tbh. And I have so many other problems in my life I don't want to deal with anymore. Just because you can fuck and get woman means shit trust me .

alright. take it (you)

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With all the wahs in this thread we could cover voodoo child

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You are a light in the darkness. Never forget this.

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We have all simply forgotten that we are the stars of the sky. The light is shining down on us at all moments, but we can not see it.

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Thank you, user.

Platitudes are pointless you are literally just saying words that sound good together

Well, fuck everyone else. I have my own star inside me to let shine. You can bet I'm going to blind some people if they stare.

wooow you sound like an asshole. it sounds like you have the attitude that has made the world go to shit, the only reason you can "just go right ahead" is because of people who fought for a better world. if you want to be a self-centered ass your whole life, by all means, but don't pretend that you will have a "meaningful existence" by just consuming and not putting any effort back

Well, goodbye Chad. I'll have a pint in your honor. Try to enjoy your last days. It'd be a damn shame if you spent them moping.

they make people feel better, that's not pointless

Sometimes comparing is pointless and selfish. But killing yourself over a girl being what a normal girl is these days is pretty sad and beyond overkill. No pun intended. Women aren't shit and you shouldn't have one if your life isn't set up properly. Because if it was you wouldn't wanna kill yourself. Stupid ass logic op has

Fuck you too, idiot. I've spent my entire life staying out the spotlight and helping others, not helping myself. Taking little, avoiding making too big a splash. I can just go right ahead; no one hapless turd is going to stop me from excelling in life. And unlike some, I'm not a brainless lizard. I don't just consume without thought.

I'm going to carve a path through this fucker called life, and if I have to patent or streamline a thing or two out of frustration instead of selfish selflessness, so be it. Look at you, thinking I should sit back and continue to be wasted potential, all because a little bit of confidence and self-assertion easily flies for egregious sociopathy in your fickle, little mud-caked mind. I'm watching dullards happily saw down trees that were planted by men and women who would never live to see their shade.

Fuck you. I don't have time to sort your misunderstanding or your feigned righteousness over someone daring to seize even a little slice of the cake. Do you think we all live on nothing?

>Platitudes

No, we truly are the light. We have simply forgotten who we are, where we came from, where we are going, and that our purpose is, was and always will be, to shine.

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still dunno what part of your life warrants suicide

The Chad times are long gone . But thank you kindly my humble user .
Nah I'll make myself a great BBQ smoke some dope and drink some Whisky then on my birthday its end game . Have a great life and cheers to you

Don’t kill yourself over some stupid bitch user. That gives her the power and it means she won. As much as you might not believe it, you WILL feel better over time. The best thing you can do is live your life and be happy so she thinks you have moved on already. If you can’t do that, fake it until it eventually happens.

Fuck you now my endless pain seems like a fucking snot in the cheek.

I dont even know why im not satisfied with my life. Have been in amazing jobs, but quited them shortly after because insecurity (and i dont know why the fuck am i so insecure if i have plenty social skills, lets say that im not a retard) even though I wasnt doing it bad.

Shortly after my 4 years relationship with this qt pie (for which i was living for, literally. Fuck codepdency) ended my life became a fucking drift. Earned plenty money but the solely fact of not being able to share with her made me feel horrible. She made so many things for me, forgiven so many shitty attitudes but I, an egocentric stupid cunthead at the first wrongdoing of her (she "cheated" on me) i fucking kicked her out of my place. Cannot carry that guilt anymore.

Pic unrelated but idk why I feel so conected with that eye's mood.

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I think my mental health is worse than I thought. It's not even that I'm sad anymore, I'm scared.

Sounds like a good time. Thank you too, and cheers.

based

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The light lives within you, and there is nothing stronger than the bond you have with the light. You just don't know it yet.

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I am this user, and I am going to bed. I wish you all a good night, and I hope those of you who are currently undergoing troubles, mental, emotional, lifestyle wise, anything, are able to overcome them and live on strongly.
Farewell, anons.

How do I know? I need something. Anything.

Goodnight, user. I hope the best for you too.

Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite. And don't worry, it gets better. Then it gets worse. Then it gets better again and so on. Enjoy the ride.

Very rarely as far as I've seen. Most people just realize they mean nothing. The only thing that makes them feel better is that at least someone responded, so the response can be used better than something meaningless.

>no, we truly are the light.
Still a platitude. That's about as meaningful as saying we truly are sacks of meat and blood with consciousness

Anyone got any good ideas on how to get to bed when your heart is racing too fast? I can't go the fuck to sleep because I'm too wired.

Breathe.

That helped. I really do need reminders like this from time to time. Thank you, user.

•In through the nose 7 seconds
•hold for 3 seconds
•exhale through the mouth 5 seconds
Taught myself that helps me relax give it a shot.

podcasts work for me. turned down quiet, just a background hum that I can focus my attention on and turn off the thoughts.

Got any recommendations? I have a few that I like for going to sleep but am always looking for more.

Masturbate . I also think about Micky Mouse when I can't sleep the real old school stuff . I don't know why but it calms me down more than anything

I've got a bunch of breathing patterns in my back pocket for when I'm freaked out, but this one is new to me! Thank you.

I put on rambling political stuff to sleep to, that middle ground of interesting enough to listen to but not so interesting it'll keep me awake. But australian politics probably doesn't do it for most people

I would, but I have a roommate who is currently awake. I think I get what you're getting at with thinking of old school stuff. Sometimes I watch tv shows I liked as a very little kid when I'm stressed and it really helps. Maybe I should put one on.

Music very quiet soul,jazz something mellow and relaxing .
Looking at the moon (today it was clear as day).
Thinking about the beautiful memories yiu have from your Childhood.
I concentrate my thought on how my first girlfriend smelled sometimes I can smell her ( very wierd ) but it calms me so much . I miss that crazy cunt . I still love you Jasmin sometimes your still here with me .

Firstly, you should look up the definition of platitude, because it is defined as a remark or statement that has been used too often to be interesting or thoughtful. "We are the light" is no where close to being common, every day, often-used language. In fact, it could not be stated enough and is far more interesting and thoughtful then almost any other statement you could possible make.

Secondly, I think you are under the impression that I am speaking metaphorically. When I say, "We truly are the light", I mean that we are very literally and physically meant to become stars when we die, that we all forgot who are maker is and what we truly are inside. We are light. We are the stars that become hosts to planets of our own. This is the full cycle of life. We are the continuation.

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Maybe . Late night walks helped as well .
I even go full nude sometimes (it's so far in the countryside so it's okay )

The moon is very beautiful tonight, I agree. I think I just need to think about nice memories, more often.

you're right, no one is going to stop you being a self-righteous dick
go back to r/iamverysmart

it doesn't sound like you've been helping others your whole life, because your attitude is toxic and disgusting. no wonder you have no love in your heart

you can be a good person and enjoy your life, you don't have to be a villain

Frustration and pent up anger. I haven't cried since I was, like, 7, and I just can't release any of it. It happens from time to time that I snap and I just kinda go into a berserker trance kinda thing where I just destroy things, but else I feel it like something very heavy on top of me, destroying me slowly. It's horrible.

First of all, the second definition of platitude is a "banal, trite, or stale remark" and your statements are definitely banal so still platitudes. Secondly we aren't destined to become stars or made of light. We are made of atoms and come from stars and after passing will only slowly turn into heavier elements (stars are made out of helium, the lightest element). Third are you saying that everyone, when they die, just turns into a cosmetically large ball of fire? There isn't enough matter in the universe for a new star to be made for every person that dies, and even if they were having to exist alone for billions of years sounds like hell to me.

Eat it, bleeding heart. I don't care if I sound like a dick to you. I'm not here to appease your every flagrantly flawed sensibility. Someone exchanges some words in the midst of a rage, and you think that determines whether they're a "good person"?

Your brain is a shallow as the shit you're playing with.

Got v& 8 years ago for pizza, got out about 15 months ago, broke, 30 yo., live with my parents, jobless due to record, 325 lbs.

I'm the kind of stereotype you make fun of.

How’d you get caught?

Sis got in trouble for pushing a friend's grandma, cops got called, granny claims she's always over there because of me, pigs ask her what that's all about. Then they question me about some fucked up shit. I'm into pizza not real life (besides sis is ugly as sin). They convinced me to be stupid and admit to pizza.

Obligatory Not that user, but you come across as a pseudo intellectual who's mad at the world. Pseudo intellectuals are already pretty arrogant and you do seem kinda asshole-y
Your whole first post is all about how shitty people are and how great you are and about how your just gonna start taking what you can and ignoring people now, and the first person to point that out you just hurl insults at. Literally what are you even doing in a thread about depression stinking it up about how great you are.

So her friends grandma said she was avoiding sexual contact with you?

No, she just said we didn't get along. My sis was apparently the one that said whatever the hell she said.

Did you rape her when you got out? She deserves a good raping.

I'm a youth minister, the kids I work with are all middle-high school. They're awesome kids, in a low income prison town. They're doing the best they can, but life dealt them a genuinely bad hand. I don't push Christianity too hard despite my job, I just try to help teach them to be kind and considerate people. I try to teach them practical things too, like resume building. I love these kids- they're a second family to me. But sometimes I just wonder if I'm doing enough. If it's all going to make a difference.

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Even worse, she "trans"formed into a "dude"

hey i am that user, and thanks for putting it eloquently
this guy obviously has some issues, which is why they're on a depression thread

btw i literally have said nothing about myself this whole discussion but you seem crazy attacking. whatever you're dealing with, i hope you get some help before it's too late

You need to seduce a hot girl from the group and have her lift your spirits. Middle school girls give great blow jobs once taught.

>but you come across as a pseudo intellectual who's mad at the world
What a fucking surprise, huh? Angry rant on the internet comes off as egotistical jerkwad because meanie words. What a bold stance.
>Pseudo intellectuals are already pretty arrogant and you do seem kinda asshole-y
You've never seen a decent person experience a psychotic break before. It's a world of fun when you're angry at the sun.

>Your whole first post is all about how shitty people are and how great you are and about how your just gonna start taking what you can and ignoring people now
Is that what you got from it? I think that's what you wanted to get from it. It seems you're not allowed to just state things in a frank manner anymore- oh, there is literally nobody on the planet who can demonstrate that they have no compulsion to eat glue all day anymore. I'm frustrated. I know my shit. I'm frustrated that I know my shit and do nothing with it because idiots like you will turn to me and scream "dickhead" or "smartass". I'm tired of being tired of being tired. Someone is telling me I can't take for myself in a world that will leave you behind. What do you expect? A pat on the ass for these basic observations? No, I'm vehemently going to address every shred of stupid and saying-to-say I can get my figurative hands on. You'd think the amount of self-assured screeching would make some people in the thread feel like they can do anything they put their mind to, instead of twiddling their thumbs meekly and wasting their days doing nothing.

Anyone who demonstrates a drop of functional intelligence gets pushback from every cookie-cutter duck that surrounds them. You can't be confident, no. That'll make you an "asshole". "Egoistical", no matter how little you care about the spotlight. Can't call someone a faggot in a place where calling someone a faggot is run of the mill. Can't be smart, can't stretch your legs, then you're jerking yourself off with a psuedo-intellectual misconception.

Regardless of religion, the best you can do is teach hope and strength. You sound like you're doing a good job

I'm dealing with the futility of wanting to make the world a better place, when people with habits such as yours, tend to cast an uncoordinated shadow of figurative thought-inhibiting darkness over anything they can reach.

The best he can do is teach the girls how to be a pro dick sucker

I feel like no one will ever love me and my only friend is still friends with me because he guilty and thinks I'll kill myself if he doesn't hang out with me and every night I wake up crying because I'm about 80% sure no one will ever love me to be fair.

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hahaha you literally sound like every copypasta ever
I called you a dickhead because you act like one. grow up and stop blaming your problems on everyone else
i'm confident, most the time, and well educated but i haven't felt the need to hark on about it online because i'm not a whiny ass like you who needs to type it out to make myself feel better

Not same person I'm just going to say humans are kinda shitty but I bet the person is just as shitty as everyone else humans are kind of just awful.

>i'm not a whiny ass like you who needs to type it out to make myself feel better
Cry about it, living human projector.

human projector? that's good, how did you figure that one out? might put it in my tinder bio

It's the difference between pseudo-intellectual screed and genuine brain-good.
>how did you figure that one out
Doesn't rate as quick thinking. Way to go. If you were trying to win some kind of pissing contest after making your well-educated claims about being confident and not feeling the need to type about not feeling the need to type about it, here's your participation award.

Don't feel bad about yourself. I am grossly understating how many people are absolute meatbags who can't see past their dicks and pussies. I know how you feel. Having to live next to miserably complacent animals all your life and getting punished for being smarter than them. They're nothing and they will never be anything and unless you take everything from them and kick them in the mud you'll never feel better. Don't help them. Don't be co-dependant. They will suck you dry and get angry when you try to shake loose. They will destroy you slow and with pleasure just because they want to instinctively protect what feebleminded ego's their parents gave them. You're not selfish. Don't ever think that. They are the problem and at one time people like us have to get up and and stop accepting mediocrity before we become the same as them. If there is true consciousness, they don't have it. Fucking automatons.

i have to leave as i have a job, where i help people and contribute to society in a positive way. i had a great time sparring with you, sorry if you didn't as you had to waste your precious time on my "little mud-caked mind"

haha replying to yourself now? cute

Your allowed to be angry, and allowed to use big words. The problem.is you sound like your trying to shove as much meaningless rhetoric into you posts as you can to hide the fact that you are basically shouting "woe is me, I'm so awesome and other people are always taking advantage of me" you are trying to justify your horrible attitude with eye for an eye logic that if people have wronged you in the past that makes it ok for you to wrong whoever you want know. It's baseless projecting and it really just shows your a shitty person in general. You words basically tell me you weren't helping people to help people, you were helping people expecting them to treat you like the magnificent person you are (because you are sooo awesome helping all those people beneath you they should feel honored). On some level people can tell when you are only pretending to be nice, and don't try to say you weren't expecting anything in return because if you weren't then it would bother you when you got nothing in return. Life isn't so black and white that you have to choose between helping others and helping yourself, and the fact that you've been holding yourself back to help people shows how moronic you really (hence a pseudo intellectual being an idiot who uses big words to sound smart) as if helping people was what you wanted to do then improving yourself would allow you to help even more. My bet is that you have the bare minimum with a fake smile hoping that in return they would heap stuff upon you.

First post was too long had to cut in half

You are a self righteous, grandiose, arrogant pseudo intellectual who is angry at the world for not giving you everything for giving other what you thought was enough.
Also cut that "muh nonconformity" bullshit. Dismissing that we are only against because "people aren't allowed to be smart and angry" gives us an opening to dismiss (and actually legitimately because you are basically actually saying this) you because you don't allow people to disagree with you. You've made point in your defense and simply repeat your meaningless dribble while.attempting to shut down anyone who disagrees with the equivalent of "how dare you disagree with me, you just don't know how awesome I am and just hate me because I'm smarter than you"

The Sun gives us life. Learn to appreciate that simple truth, and you will began to see the bigger picture.

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Damn guy, exchange email or discord and go continue this autistic screeching in private

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I'm sorry I couldn't save my friend. He died yesterday, we think it was an OD. I thought he just messed around with psychedelics but he mentioned Fentanyl once and I told him it could kill him. He was much older than I and belonged to a mutual fight club of ours. I'm just hung up on the fact that I can't save everyone, especially someone like him who was lost in life and running from something I could never figure out. Have a couple of scars by my eyes from him from two weeks ago from fight night. He was sometimes a burden to be around or worry about him showing up to some event where he wouldn't be wanted due to his drug usage and weird vibes stemming from that but I feel blindsided by this.

No the sun gives the earth energy and gives us cancer. It doesn't even give plants life, the just evolved a way to take life from the sun

It took me a while to really come to terms with that. I'd liked to have not believed this to some degree, but you know what? It's right, on a level that I can't willfully ignore anymore. I've got to start stepping over the bullshit.

I would love to believe the best in every person. There are a lot of great people out there. Real people. People who have managed to rise above the majority of it. People you want to help, people you want to talk to, people who you enjoy knowing are alive, are real.

And yet, not every person is the best. Some are the worst. A disproportionate amount of people are fucking horrible. A lot either choose to, or are taught to, follow that. There is nothing good in that shitshow. The majority of those people wouldn't self-sacrifice if it meant anything they pretend to preach. I don't have time to stick my hand in the crowd just to get bit by one of them- enough.

Have fun, conveniently, suddenly productive member of society. Make more assumptions about what we do and don't do in our personal lives, and pat yourself on the back while espousing more of those fun presumptuous barbs, that are no doubt a part of your habitual reflexes as a person, because anonymity and online forums provide a place where most reveal their true natures.

Take your thin skin and put it on the coat rack when you check in, but don't use it to wipe your tears when someone calls you a dickhead. You'll need it to look "in" later.

>The problem.is you sound like your trying to shove as much meaningless rhetoric into you posts as you can to hide the fact that you are basically shouting "woe is me, I'm so awesome and other people are always taking advantage of me"
Hey.

Fuck you.

How's that for short? Stop personifying the strawman you're creating for myself. There's little to no rhetoric. Want to show that there's the amount of rhetoric you claim? Show it. Point it out. Let's talk about it. Let me berate you for it.
>people are always taking advantage of me
Always? Yeah?
>you are trying to justify your horrible attitude with eye for an eye logic
How fucking dirty do you have to be, to try to suggest that I'm being draconic? You really didn't read anything I typed, did you? Way to fucking go, you'd better chalk that one up to ignorance if you want to keep that perceived integrity intact.
>if people have wronged you in the past that makes it ok for you to wrong whoever you want know
That's not why. Or what. Read what I typed. Don't run with this fantasy impression you get because I said sodden, or because I'm railing against everyone on my own.
>You words basically tell me you weren't helping people to help people
Oh, really? My words told you that? Want to show that?

>you were helping people expecting them to treat you like the magnificent person you are
You have no goddamn idea how much I hate the idea of doing things for praise. I'm not genetically bred to want attention. I hate attention. You know what I like? Peace and quiet. I like helping people I like to help because I like to help them. I enjoy being decent. I feel good being decent. I would rather go out of my way to shoulder the burden of someone I care about, instinctively, not for some extrinsic reward. All of this that you're doing right now, it's just baseless conjecture. You read fuck, fuck, and fuck, and think, "this guy is Hitler!".

>because you are sooo awesome helping all those people beneath you they should feel honored
This kind of reaction is why I'm saying what I'm saying now. Why the fuck would I help you, if this is your knee-jerk tweak to an angry rant? Do you want to die on this hill? Because I sure as fuck won't kiss your feet afterwards. I could give more fucks than I do about whether or not people acknowledge my help.

>On some level people can tell when you are only pretending to be nice
This ain't it, chief. You're trying to intuit intention from text, solely. Text that fails to even paint you a semblance of a story than a slice of hard-boiled anger.

>and don't try to say you weren't expecting anything in return because if you weren't then it would bother you when you got nothing in return
Hey, how about this. Fuck you for telling me what I can and can't do. I know me. But, go on. Tell my story for me.

>Life isn't so black and white that you have to choose between helping others and helping yourself,
Wow, really? You mean I can enjoy my life, help others, and also tell others to fuck off? I think that's pretty grey!

>and the fact that you've been holding yourself back to help people shows how moronic you really
Wow. You really just said that. I'm being some sort of jerkass meanie egotistical sociopathic self-centered know-it-all asshole... but I was a moron for being kind and patient when I was. Is that it? The better man with no ambition was a moron? Oh. I guess that means the man with tact and ambition is a genius.

>improving yourself would allow you to help even more
You know how you do that when the majority of people are deliberately or unfortunately in the way? You take charge of the situation. Life isn't black and white, remember. If I take a position somewhere, someone else loses out. Wow, it's an improvement in socioeconomic standing.

Yeah, go fuck yourself too. This is more "people aren't allowed to be smart and angry", because of what I just demonstrated. Stop focusing on when I call you an idiot. Pay attention to what I actually type- if you care, of course. People can disagree with me.

Guess what? I'm not only allowed to disagree back, but if I actually care about what you're saying, I'll not suddenly change my tune and make it seem like I don't actually care about what you just said. I disagree. Look how much I disagree. I disagree so much, I took the time to address the things some of you have said. Disagree all the day long. Don't expect everyone to agree with you when you do.

And put more words in my mouth, that's how you do it.

Biology wasn't your subject I see .

What makes.You say that?

The sun doesn't give plant's life . Kek mate .
They just found a way to revolve around it or something along those lines .
The sun has always been there without the sun life on earth would be impossible for all living things

Ok first I'd like to point out half your.arguments are "stop misrepresenting what I said" when if there is a misunderstanding it's on you to clear it up not just throw around baseless accusations. But in the effort of not "putting words in your mouth" let's go through the post in question

>The longer I live, the more I find my reservations being chipped away by the masses. Little by little, one thing at a time.
So this thing you keep doing is something you feel less like doing over time. Actually perfectly reasonable.and there's nothing wrong with that.
> Everyone plays at being coy. Clever, go-getters, efficient, interesting. Having it all together.
Everyone? You sure you haven't just met a couple and are projecting?
>I've sat on my ass, wanting to serve myself, stay out of the bread and circus, and do right by something remotely sound.
This is the first part of meaningless rhetoric i was talking about. Seriously how many people even know what "bread and circus" even is. Also the first half of this statement is "I want to be lazy" and.the second half is "I don't want to be lazy" which is confusing as fuck.
>Recently, I'm starting to think that these gutter-bound plebs aren't worth meekly wringing my hands over.
Yeah you definitely don't put yourself on some kind of pedestal. Also considering this is all one paragraph in which you are referring to "everyone" it means you see everyone as beneath you.
>The world is going to shit. Hackneyed, stubborn mindsets have driven us almost all the way there. Folksy nonsense.
In Again no argument this is reasonable, but you fail to acknowledge your own "hackneyed stubborn mindset"

Cont cuz too long

>I'm wasting my potential and my time, my only time, in this mess. All I'm doing is pretending to be less than I could be, just to avoid setting off their fragile egos and complexes.
Didn't you just try telling me you weren't pretending, that it was something you did because you liked? Also again you just assume your so awesome and that everyone else has "fragile egos and complexes" that would just shatter in your true glory
>They wouldn't give a first thought about stomping on my fingers... and they'd piss away any opportunity handed to them. Why wait? We're not getting any younger.
>It's about time I just take what I can, and fill out the rest of the human experience checklist before I expire.
This is literally eye for an eye. Everyone else would take what they can from you so you would do the same
>Better men and women have died with more opportunity than me. Better men and women died so that people, including people like me, could somehow move closer to some more meaningful existence. A more complete human existence. A more complete world. I should just go right ahead.
Not only is this contradictory to the fact that so far all you've said is about how terrible everyone else is, now that it suits you there are better people than you? It seems like your just saying that so you can dismiss accusations of being full of yourself with "hey there was that one time I said there were a few people better than me". Then ruin it by turning it into yet another excuse to be selfish.
>Fuck the sodden masses. Starting wars, wasting resources, quacking rhetoric. Fuck them. There is more to life than this. I'm taking my pie, fuck this dirt
This is almost literally saying "fuck rveryone else I want what I'm owed"

Gf of 8 years left me
Drinking myself into a stupor

It doesn't, the sun isn't a conscious being that gives anything to anything. It puts out energy equally in all direction, then plants eventually evolved a way to turn that into food. It's like if I drop a 10 on the ground without realizing and you pick it up. Would you try to tell me I have you the money? No because that'd be stupid as fuck. The sun doesn't give anything life, it just puts off the energy that we use.

>when if there is a misunderstanding it's on you to clear it up
I didn't clear it up by responding? Oh, user.
>not just throw around baseless accusations
Shit on a stick, you just typed that after throwing around some baseless accusations. There's no end to this, is there?

>Actually perfectly reasonable
>and there's nothing wrong with that.
Woah, stop the fucking press.

>Everyone
>You sure you haven't just met a couple and are projecting
You've got it so far up your ass, I can't even tell it exists anymore. It's exaggerating. You're looking for the word exaggerating. You think I'm projecting when I say that? Not everything is a projection. This is why I'm a dick to someone like you. You don't take long to be stupid and drag us all down with you, if we even dare to react without giving you a pat on the back and a mountain of platitudes.

Look around, user, and ask yourself what most people do in public. Talk to total strangers. Talk to people doing their job. Come back to me on whether everyone pretends they're a-ok, top of the line, even when they aren't.

>This is the first part of meaningless rhetoric i was talking about
Okay, let's see why it's rhetoric.
>Seriously how many people even know what "bread and circus" even is
Oh. You're argument is that it's rhetoric because... no one is supposed to know what that common phrase means? Shoot. Got me there, totally.
>Also the first half of this statement is "I want to be lazy"
It's not. I've sat. I've, sat. I have sat. Read. I have sat on my ass, wanting to serve myself. Do you know what serving yourself means? Do you feed yourself? Congratulations, you serve yourself. Food.

I sit on my ass, as in, I stay where I am. You don't see me grandstanding around and bragging about all the things I do in public, and then talk about serving myself.

>the second half is "I don't want to be lazy"
It's not. Do right by something remotely sound. Do right. Do right by something. Does that sound like wanting to literally do something?

Or does that sound like morality? No, take it literally, there's no way someone like me would continue using figurative speech and relatively known phrasing for someone who's well-educated. Aaah, drat.

>Yeah you definitely don't put yourself on some kind of pedestal
Yeah, I really don't. Not in the way you want.
>considering this is all one paragraph in which you are referring to "everyone" it means you see everyone as beneath you
There it is again. Don't you dare dream of thinking better of yourself. Everyone's equal, how dare you! But there can be these kinds of people, and those kinds of people, and...

>but you fail to acknowledge your own "hackneyed stubborn mindset"
The fuck I did, I'm not being hackneyed.

>Didn't you just try telling me you weren't pretending
>that it was something you did because you liked?
Do you read? I said more than that. You are really working to say things that aren't there. Look at the placement of the statement you just pulled. It's my first post in the thread. Are you telling me I typed that after I said things about not pretending to be nice, when I choose to be nice? You're a piece of work.

>you just assume your so awesome and that everyone else has "fragile egos and complexes" that would just shatter in your true glory
One is shattering right now.

>This is literally eye for an eye
Ah. So I'm actually using my real human hand to remove someone's real human eye because someone removed my real human eye with their real human hand. I get it now. Wait, that's not what's happening at all, is it. That's strange.
>veryone else would take what they can from you so you would do the same
So, how is it that you'll make this distinction, but of everything else, you'll effectively just miss the mark and seemingly latch onto whatever conjuration your brain makes when you barely glimpse at the text? It took you this long to catch that. And the great part about that, is that I can now tell you that your invocation of a lack of black and white-ness about life renders this little objection, pointless.

You're going to have to make some black or some white and stick to it for that to stick as well.

>Not only is this contradictory to the fact that so far all you've said is about how terrible everyone else is
A-what? It's contradictory? How interesting. It's contradictory because so far I'd said things about
>how terrible everyone else is
which is a gross simplification of what I'd actually typed. But, it's also contradictory because, the sentence that starts clean and mentions that better people have sacrificed just for today comes a while after the sentence I condemn a large majority of people. Which, anyone with appropriate reading skill and ability to grasp the tone and context of the entire post would understand what "everyone" is. This isn't even concerning the distinction between "everyone" and "better men and women".

>now that it suits you there are better people than you
Are you serious right now? I can't say that? I'm not allowed to say that? Why? I said that, go fuck yourself. I believe it, too. I know it's true, too, because there are already living people that are better than me. I'd never even made a statement about whether there were living people better than I, or even that there were never any people better than I. And you're just going to insist that I say these things, because "hey there was that one time I said there were a few people better than me".

What a fucking joke. Way to purport impartiality. I was already the villain in your mind before I told you to go fuck yourself. So, go fuck yourself.
>Then ruin it by turning it into yet another excuse to be selfish
Have another go fuck yourself.

>This is almost literally saying "fuck rveryone else I want what I'm owed"
And? Do you think I was saying anything else when I was talking about getting a whole pie instead of dirt? Enlighten me.

nothing makes anyone feel like shit.
Everyone choose to have the emotion they wish to have. Stop blaming everyone/thing else. Master this and you will no longer be an emo fag.

easier said than done, bud.

You can't choose you emotions user. If you could depression literally wouldn't exist

the thread totally derailed to a fight to see who's right about bullshit

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From depressed to seething in 0 seconds.

I know I need to go to the hospital to get help with my depression, but I am FUCKING TERRIFIED to go. The hospital my ex-counselor recommended is the best in the city I live in. Unless it's hyper-busy I'd even get my own room to sleep in while they diddle with my meds and do the therapy. I can't make myself go though. I am scared, because all I can do is think about my ex-girlfriend, and how she's living it up while I can't even brush my teeth regularly. I know I'm not going to last much longer. My keyboard and mouse are smashed up to the point where they barely work because I get so angry I throw them around the room. I've broken two TVs in the last year by throwing my video game controller at them. I had some things I brought back to my home country after the ex threw me away and I've sold most of them to survive. I can't work and social assistance is a joke. None of my friends or family talks to me anymore because I "really bring everyone down" because it's taken me too long to get over being thrown in the trash by the person I thought I was going to grow old with. I don't expect solutions or advice. I'll probably not check the thread again. I just wanted to vent a bit. I am not going to live much longer at this rate but I can't seem to DO anything about it. I have some collectibles that are being sold on an online auction, and as soon as they sell, I'm buying a nitrogen cylinder and mask and good fucking by to this fucking MISERABLE existence.

Yeah sorry about that OP I actually feel bad for participating. After that last post I figured I'd just drop it there's no way either of us are gonna convince the other.

I'm in the middle of losing my shit. I don't know what even gave you the idea that anything was negotiable, even after replying. What, you're going to convince a raging faggot that his angry yelling is wrong?

Fucking genius.

That Sun puts air in your chest, and one day you will do the same for a life form of your own. This life is so simple and beautiful if you just learn to truly see the light. Learn to feel the unity, the oneness, the pure and incorruptible love energy that powers all of these stars. That unending energy lies within us all. We just need to learn to love each other as if all of our souls were intertwined, as they are.

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You just said it yourself: "The Sun gives the Earth energy."

Do we not feed off the energy of the Earth? Do we not breathe the air that is produced from the photosynthesis of the light?

You would literally not be on this planet if it was not for the light of the Sun, yet you sit here and deny that fundamental fact of your own existence. Use your heart and search your soul. Your mind has clearly been clouded.

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i hope the best outcome for you user

DarksoulPraiseTheSun.jpg

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I misspoke and corrected myself in a later post. The sun does "give" anything it just radiates energy in all digestion and we happen to be able to use it. There is plenty of life in caves.and at the bottoms of the sea that survive on geothermal energy. If there was no sun life would still find a way.

Never had goals, even as a kid I thought I'd kill myself before I had to make any decisions. I recently got withdrawn from my university and have absolutely no idea what to do now. It's hard enough that I have to go back home (I was a sucidal kid for a reason). A part of me wants to work for a few months to get some money then just disappear to a different area and try and find a "sugar daddy". Fml

>Choose to have emotion
If this was true literally no one would ever be sad

You can try it at least. If living as the little girl/boy of a sugar daddy is enough for you, Then do it

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Yes, life will find a way under even the harshest conditions. However, that doesn't dismiss the fact that sunlight is needed for complex life to survive. Our Sun is very crucially proving that to us right now.

Do not deny the power and energy of that light, for it is the very reason you are breathing.

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I guess just finding one is the hard part