Shitting would be a good part of the gymnastics floor routine
>Expected to be performed at just the correct moment of the song
>High volumes favored
>Unique positions favored
>Considered bad form if you accidentally cross through the pile afterwards
>One shit is pretty easy to clean
Honestly, if a gymnast did her routine nude and was able to shit with precision that would be really impressive. To be able to hold it while doing part of the routine when she's held it in long enough to do it well would also be incredibly difficult.
I love your style OP ... :o)~.....you nutty bastard
Exactly! If we want to show precision of the body we have to consider the body as a hole
So definitely fully nude while performing the routine, and is there a specific place to shit? Is the idea for her to squat and shit or shit as she's moving just at a very specific part of the routine (like that jump in the pic)
HOLY SHIT! OP FOR PRESIDENT!
This is the best fucking idea anyone has had in a LONG time.
Bottomless. Maybe with a small top, and the perfect tit flash can be part of the routine as well
No specific place on the mat. Up to the choreographer from what position - I think from a deep bend or even a handstand would be better than midair.
Midair would be cool but yes, during a headstand would be really impressive. I assume it's ok that she gets it all over herself for the rest of the routine?
I mean it can be on her butt and stuff because wiping isn't part of it. But the goal isn't to shit on yourself. And yeah if you accidentally step on it later it's bad marks
I just mean if she does it while handstanding that it will roll down her, which is fine with me as long as she just ignores it and keep doing the routine. No need to clean herself up even after while waiting for her score at her bench.
There needs to be some sort of extra points for shit stains left on the mat. Maybe if they drag their ass like a dog in the process, the resulting shitty designs could be judged.
They should start the routine squated, and then immediately spring forth shooting shit out as they jump to look like a rocket going off.
right
...no
a valid if bold choice, put the shit at the beginning. naturally it is anticipated. like starting a figure skate with a triple lutz
So we think they should stay with whatever shit ended up on them, obviously on her cheeks but also wherever else it smeared while she was doing the routine, after the routine and while waiting and possibly interviewing and receiving awards? Just go home that way?
Generally they clean right afterwards
But maybe for one dancer, her show goes really well, and she gets whisked about and interviewed after, not minding that the shit's still on her, and it causes some talk
They'd have to have specific guidelines about the consistency though. In other words, solids would count for higher, because perhaps they'd be less easy to control in terms of voiding at the right time (laxatives would have to be prohibited, of course).
>Pic unrelated, but definitely in the Olympics already...
I hate to cause a rift in a very original thread, but I feel she should let the shit stay on her the whole time and if she has another routine at the same meet she does it with whatever shit is still on her. Just acts totally casual and OK with it. No cleaning at all no matter where it ended up.
Isn't this discriminatory against Indian competitors? Their highly spiced food virtually guarantees a farty liquid/ explosive vapour type shit.
Well, the difficulty is that solid stool is more difficult to pass than liquid, so the idea is that it would be more challenging and require more intestinal fortitude to not only accomplish the gymnastic routine, but to do so with a controlled expellation of solid stool.
On the other hand, I could see extra points for an athlete who is officially diagnosed with diarrhoea before the event who is still capable of controlling when they release the hounds. It's a tough call...you'd have to run it by the IOC...
have we bothered to consider color & consistency? Problem is, a real chunky log can be just as impressive as a watery spray of shit juice. One could argue that a green, fibrous shit is a sign of a good diet, but then again, nothing gets me going like a real greasy meat shit...
Can we get someone from the IOC to weigh in?
I say we boycott the sand niggers....they definitely have a unfair advantage
>I could see extra points for an athlete who is officially diagnosed with diarrhoea before the event who is still capable of controlling when they release the hounds.
The trick here is how the girl can intentionally have diarrhea. Because yes, being able to hold that in while doing part of the routine then letting it just explode out at the right moment would be spectacularly impressive and deserve higher points. Getting and timing being sick would be really hard.
Then again, explosive diarrhoea released at the apex of a performance would go down great with the audience - like fireworks. I can imagine the tv interview right after. The smiling face of the gymnast - dappled by shit spray.
Naked and smiling and thrilled at how well it went, the diarrhea all over her and on her face, smiling and talking about how she timed getting sick and how hard ti was to hold it in so she could have a great explosive spray while mid-flip.
Well, I'm sure like any other sports system, they'd figure out the timing. In other words, an athlete might consume some kind of slightly uncooked vegetable matter 5 hours before the event, or maybe some kind of extra hot pepper that is legal but irritating to the bowels. That would do it.
Also, she'd have to congratulate her competitors:
"Yeah, Janelle and I train at the same gym, and she's normally very good at holding her load. Today for whatever reason she lost control after the 1st minute...I felt so bad for her, because her release is one of the most beautiful of any of us. I'm just thrilled to be representing Denmark, and I hope I made everyone at home proud!"
>I hope I made everyone at home proud!
Yes you did, sweetheart. Yes you did.
Would it be possible for us to shit on the gymnasts?
>I feel she should let the shit stay on her the whole time and if she has another routine at the same meet she does it with whatever shit is still on her. Just acts totally casual and OK with it. No cleaning at all no matter where it ended up.
This. Just stay that way the whole time there, naked and still covered in shit. I think she should even want to go home that way, especially if she wins.
uh not until you've put in the TRAINING. and HARD WORK. that these DEDICATED SHITTERS have WORKED SO HARD FOR
Does it count if I'm hard while shitting on them during training?
I agree. The amount of training and effort these young girls would have done would earn them the right to do it. Only the girls get to shit and they get to leave it all over themselves if they wish.
Interviewer: "What are you going to do now that you've won?
Girl: "I don't know but I am NOT showering for like a week!"
That first shower should be a GOLDEN shower.
"Not even washing your face?"
>face is covered in fresh diarrhea still partly dripping down on her cheeks and lips
>licks her lips and smiles
"Especially not my face!"
>No specific place on the mat
Random shit location == pleb taste.
Before the routine, the judges randomly place several bullseyes on the mat. The gymnast may pick up to 3 of them to use at any time during their routine. The placement of the targets may vary, so a gymnast has to exercise maximum sphincter control.
Too easy to sabotage depending on country where games held
Can’t hold games in India for example since would give all foreigners the shits and be unable to fire a clean turd
English food would give asians and Africans constipation so Britain’s out
Mexico disallowed for obvious reasons
Etc
Nice try tho Op. a true shitpost
I think the placement needs to be a little more creative. For instance:
Highest point target: suspended above the center of the floor, about 8 feet high. The contestant must be in upside-down mid-splits in order to aim properly to hit the bulls-eye
Secondary targets: mounted vertically just outside of the boundaries of the floor, perhaps at the corners. Incidentally, the targets are transparent, so as to prevent blocking the view of the audience.
The list is endless.
Disagree. Each Olympic village has restaurants that are vetted for nutrition and cleanliness. It would be fine.
Never knew I needed this televised sports event until now.
Damn, at that point it's almost not even the same thing, but that would be pretty cool. Competitive shitting - you could even have some moving targets. A downward-pointing projector could have targets of different sizes and colors, moving at different speeds, and successfully shitting on one is awarded points.
I know this all started as a stupid lark, but I would actually watch this.