Feels Thread? Feels thread

only thing that will heal is time. I think you're smart not doing what she's doing. I've had exes do that and come back to me every time but the real damage is done by then
jesus, I'm so sorry. really puts my problems into perspective. I hope you manage brother, that is such a fucked situation for everyone

Thanks user. What seems to be troubling you tonight?

don't make it too much of a habit. I'm currently on the brink of developing fatty liver so I'm gonna abstain from my usual 9 beers a night routine (12-18 on the weekends). In a way it's kinda a good thing, gonna hafta find something to keep me occupied after work.

yeah, till you wake up and it starts over.

ah just a shit year of betrayal, drug abuse, and mental health issues. my brother's brother in law really fucked me over and I refuse to associate with him but as my brother is having a kid I kinda have an obligation to be at events and tolerate him... at least that's what would be convenient for everyone besides me

Same here. After what happened in NZ, my mom won't stop spouting political drivel. Fucking sick of it. So I'm trying to phase it out with booze and vidya.

OP here, honestly it does get really that bad sometimes. Ive thought about it quite alot. No one misses you till youre gone

I dread being around my in-laws too, I totally feel ya there. You tryin to clean up? What's your poison?

Hey OP. What's going so bad in life right now that your drinking vodka on Yea Forums?

Have broken up with an ex over 2 years ago, wanted to marry her but it ended up breaking into nothing, every relationship I've had since then has been short lived and loveless

how can you have a gf and still kill yourself

I'm hanging myself tomorrow. Fuck it

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I've been there man, from a young age. but I can't hurt others like that, that's the reason I'm still here
yeah the family doesn't like me anyway. my brother is a fucking idiot lol. well I mainly drink now but this past year was a blur of cocaine, alcohol, lsd, and bad decisions. the lsd did the worst to me because I abused the shit out of it

are you conservative or just don't give a shit? my family is the same

Stress, dont start my job till April 1st after being laid off for over a month, the girl ive been with for 8 years has to constantly take care of her sick mom and all communication we have is when she says goodnight, and generally, i just dont wont to wake up the next day anymore, tired of pulling myself through everything for months.

There were a lot of mental health issues and a lot of meds for said issues.

Honestly, things won't make you happy, having a qt gf won't make you happy, nor will money make you happy If you genuinely don't like yourself. I just wish he could have seen what everybody else saw, ya know?

you just need some pancakes in you user

I think you can make it 2 more weeks. Once you get working again you'll at least feel like you are doing something.
As for the 8 year relationship, is there any feeling left between you two?

yeah i know, but as with the relationship weve beene dating since highschool since we were 15. Shes kind of turned herself into a shut in, doesnt even like to go out to eat. I want to travel and see the world, go outdoors. She wasnt like that when I met her, shes the most loving loyal person ive met. But im just starting to be really unhappy in our relationship cause shes been stressed with work and depressed with her mom and her way of coping with it is just acting like everyone isnt there. Ive talked to her about it before but nothing has changed and its been months.

that would be alcohol withdrawals my friend, stop while you can. That road usually leads to self destruction.

fuck that looks tasty

I'm well aware. I stopped for a bit then decided to hop back on the wagon. I wish I cared about something

it hasn't got better, and i don't blame you for this. your inspiring words could help many people, and you have chose a path that will do good.
but i want you to understand, some people are not meant for this world. i have done alot, and there isn't anything worth me sticking around.
the world has nothing to offer me, besides the man-made hardships. my disgust of the modern way of life will lead to punishments and rejection.
the rejection part doesn't bother me, i have already rejected this world. but the thought of going to prison angers me.
i tried. and there is nothing wrong with wanting out, but i must ask you one thing.
do you think its ok for the modern world to force me to live? force me to stick it out, or end my life in a very gruesome way?
i cannot handle the pain of taking my life, we are very robust. our bodies can take a hell of a beating, internally and out.
i am rotting away. i will continue to rot away. i will continue to be unable to find a spot for me in this world.
that being said, i need nembutal. i need to ease this as much as I can, i don't want to mutilate myself, or feel the last seconds of my life
in horrible pain. i just want out, painless and clean. this is my goal, and i have worked at it for a while.
I have been scammed and ignored. this shouldn't be this hard. i hope my way out will be sooner than later. i have a overwhelming need to numb myself.
i do not want to turn to drugs. i don't want to fail, and end up in a mental care place, if i do get the courage to finally do it someday.
i am of sound mind, and have thought about this for years.

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Ive been down that path for the last year, been trying to get clean the past month, It will take a about a month to come off of it. in two weeks sleep will get better. but trust me dont do it to yourself. the urge will always be there, but find something to replace it

this seems like copy pasta, is this copy pasta?

you're totally right and the fucked up thing is I subconsciously know this. alcohol is a very dangerous substance. I really do want to start creating something artistically to distract me and to actually flesh out my feelings

Stop shilling your server faggot.

Have you thought about couples therapy? It sounds like you need to re-establish communication. Does she realize she's pushing you away? You might need to be a little blunt with her and try to find some middle ground where you aren't being neglected.
Also, much respect for still being with the same women for 8 years, especially given how young you guys are.

i wrote it a while ago

I'm just a dead body still walking and shit since I was 13 . So I don't really know anymore . Everything else is numb

Well im Op that youve been talkin to, and pick up an instrument, work out or maybe even read. Its not a fun ride, its a struggle to learn to live without a substance again, just takes willpower. Which is hard to gain again but with determination you can do it, ive been 2 and a half weeks sober until tonight. and ive still felt that urge every single day, whats even harder is a liquor store is down the street. Ive picked up guitar and buddhism to cope with mine. But seriously. Get out before it hurts everything.

I'll take it to heart OP. you clearly understand just what I feel and what life is like to me. this reply specifically hits way too close to home for me. I wish you the best as well, as you said the feeling is there every day. once an addict always an addict

More of an obscure one I guess, I'd only ever share this in a place where I'm anonymous, and I'm already half drunk anyways so it's only going to get worse as I fade more and more into the bottle

Have you ever felt like you were supposed to be someone in particular, but you never quite made it there? Ever since I found Berserk when I was a kid I've wanted nothing more than to be Guts. I love everything about him, the way he looks, thinks, talks, acts, so on. I even had a small husbando thing going on for Griffith for a while, mainly because of Guts. This feel has been going on for over a decade now, and I feel like its eating me away inside, because I'm not even close to him. I've colored my hair, gotten a brand tattoo, and even manually added scars to my body to replicate the look. The physical portion isnt that hard (already 6'5' 240lbs, plus being a milfag makes me kinda /fit/), but the mental portion is so difficult. I'm already a sort of upbeat, jokey kind of person, every time I try to replicate that stoic, weathered personality I just fall back into being the same, shitty me. How do I completely wipe away my personality and make a new one, bros? I'm done being me, I tried it and it fucking sucks.

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The loss of happiness is still a feeling

stoicism my friend. all feelings have equal value and without each other they mean nothing

if you guys hate you lifes so much you might wanna try out psychedelics and or mdma.
this stuff can give you a different perspective on life and maybe get you some joy back. may show you what is wrong in your life's and how you can fix it.
and if not it just feels good for a few hours.
way better than drinking. I myself have been drinking way too much the last couples of months. so much my dad kicked me out of the house. I'm staying with my aunt atm and will most likely get a new job in it in may. then I will be able to support myself and get a flat.

I'm on speed atm because I randomly met a guy at the gas station who sold me some.

i sorta feel the same. I'm bored of my personality, im always using jokes 2 cope with my problems, so no one takes me seriously when I fall into a depressed episode. i want to start over and just avoid using coping methods like that, and instead use meds and therapy.

lol your last sentence
I'd give the same advice to others but despite my realizations after and while using psychs I'm still fucked in the head
maybe moreso. I'm more aware but less capable which feels like a hell of irony

Jokes are the most shitty coping mechanisms, I totally understand. I wish I could erase that shit from my mind

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Oh, and, whenever I mess up on something at school, instead of a quiet reaction of 'oh he just kinda fucked up' its immediate laughter because I joke about myself in a really degrading way. Started doing it I guess because its an easy laugh out of people. Now I'm a walking fucking comedy sketch. Fuck this

It's an easy way to make the situation lighter, but in doing so it takes any aspect of seriousness out of your personality. You're just a joke now, a thing for people to laugh with and at, then forget about.

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>depression, nearly crippling anxiety, borderline disorder, bipolar, and only have 2 close friends and a girlfriend, and every waking hour I think to myself how they're going to leave my life and never think about me again. but im not gonna end my life. and no one reading this should either. I'm not old enough to tell anyone 'it'll get better', but that's probably the only direction it'll go. hang in there anons

I'm trying to get out of my habit while I can, I still have a chance to reset. once I transfer schools it'll be easy too.

Yeah. Just takes time. Im in the same boat as you are

I used to grow shrooms for 2 years, had a mind blowing realization through the trip that i need to stop what i am doing to myself. 3 months later i relapsed.

exactly. psychs aren't a miracle just a tool

but not for long
PREPARE TO DIE

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what is causing your anxiety?

Ha. Id pay for that at this point

That's what I'm tryna figure out. Omw to go buy LSD.

Op here. Dude its not gonna fix it, like i said i used to grow shrooms, its you that you need to fix. Its a hard road but thats the main thing. Your habits.

use a test kit if you can brother, a lot of bunk shit out there. nothing will give you the love that lsd does

he doesnt need to fix shit
prepare to die

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I'm going to try it once and be done. Let's see ic anything interesting happens

thanks brother

TEST IT fucker you're likely getting something totally different

just know your set goal in it.\
My advice is to lay in the dark, listen to dark side of the moon by pink floyd.
The song time had a big affect on me

bumpin through all these porn threads

I'm 25 years old and I have nothing to show for being an adult this long. I have no skills. I lazed around throughout high school because I was trying to learn music. Never got any good. I've taken an interest in cooking but I can't afford the nearby school. I can't drive. I'm a virgin. The only girl who has ever shown any interest in me lives on the other side of the country and is understandably opposed to committing to a long-distance relationship and I can't blame her for that, but I'm such an insecure idiot I know the instant she takes interest in someone within her reach she'll drop me like a rock. It's only a matter of time.

On top of all this, I have zero motivation to improve myself. I don't see a point. I'm fully convinced by multiple forces that if you don't have your shit together within the first two years of adulthood, you're fucked. It's only a matter of time before my parents kick me out and I find some way to kill myself. I don't want to get better. Every time things start looking up, it falls apart within a month, and then I feel like shit for several.

I just wanna fall asleep tonight and not wake up tomorrow. I hate everything I've become. The one thing I have is though I'm susceptible to drug and alcohol addiction thanks to genes, I've somehow managed to stay clean.

I wanted to become a musician. Never got anywhere near good enough to get payed. I want to cook. I can't afford the schooling for whatever certification it takes. I want S, but she rightfully doesn't want me and deserves far better.

I fucked some dudes wife for the better part of 3 years. I'm married. He once broke his hand on a wall because of me. We had sex the day he was in the hospital. I feel no shame.

Man I love IHOP. I could go for some pancakes. I'm on a first name basis with most of the staff at the one near me. And I realize this is pathetic but some days it's the only positive social interaction I get.

It's something; a lot of people end up on Yea Forums because they don't have any social interaction whatsoever. I'm ALMOST one of those - I have someone I chat with every day but I'm getting the feeling I'm just a chore that needs to be done. "Better talk to this idiot so he doesn't kill himself."

Yea Forums is an echo chamber for us retards. I have plenty of people in my life who love me but they don't actually understand me like you faggots do

and also yeah my parents thank my friends for being there for me, shitty feeling for sure... at least my friends do actually like me but damn it kinda hurts to know that's how you appear to some people

I got some good feels

Recently became acquainted with a lurker's dream girl
>qt3.14/10, nerdy
>memes as hard as me
>lurks occasionally
>incredibly intelligent
>we've spent the past few nights talking on the phone until daybreak
>tonight she tells me she's into me
>i'm into her too
feelsgoodman

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I'll never forget how much it hurt to find out I was on "the list" in this alternative high school program I did to make up for missing credits. It was nothing but a list of the least liked people in the program, which was only about 30 people. Thought I was close with two people in particular there, haven't heard from them since 2013.

really? you must have not moved out,
You dont realize things until months when you realize no when has contacted you first, despite contacting them on several occasions

tldr if youre not at least 18 get the fuck off

I know that feel. I have a friend I talk to pretty frequently. Sometimes a while passes and then she gets back to me and apologizes for not getting back sooner and I always lie and say no worries, play it casual, like I figure normal people would do. I don't want her to feel obligated. Even though I'd be happy just to hear she was having a ham sandwich, just to hear something from someone about anything. ...and here I am.

I am not having a ham sandwich but now I kind of want one.

that makes me so sad user :( fuck I can only imagine how much that hurts. we don't need to feel loved we need to be loved. we need to be treated as normal not constantly compensated for

be a line cook at some non chain shop. theyre full of sluts if you get to know them. but i know how you feel user.

dude I'm 25. I've gone to college, I've lived with friends, I've lived with the supposed love of my life. I have a few good friends but maybe two of them actually understand how fucked I am and still accept me

Im OP, how old are you? Just wondering, Im 23 myself

Similarly, I get a massive fucking VORTEX in my stomach if she pauses for a while without giving me a "brb" first. The worst part is our conversations have gotten really impersonal; we haven't discussed interests or desires in a long time, just talking about one particular common interest in a way that doesn't need a lot of thought put into it. That's what's scaring me; it's so easy to continue the conversation that I don't think she gives me any second thought.

I'm 25 but I still feel like I'm 19 man. I don't wanna grow up but I've realized nobody does

I'm 25 and I genuinely forgot I wasn't 23 the other day.

LOL ain't that a bitch... same here man I refer to myself as a kid. I'm not an adult in any way unfortunately

Today I decided to push everyone that cared about me as far away as possible. Thinking of suicide constantly again, it just won't get out of my head.

thats probably the worst thing to do. talk to us. whats you probs man. this is what this thread is for, we are here for you

It's just something that happens to me from time to time for a variety of reasons. Ranging from loneliness because people I believed to be friends suddenly don't want to give me the time of day to a romantic interest completely shutting me down for no really valid reason outside of thinking me just a sexual interest and not a potential partner.