Has anyone here ever seen a person slowly lose their sanity? How’s was it?

Holy shit, im in the same exact situation

I lose sanity all the time. Then I realize every one does. We are all crazy, and some of us can deal and some can't. The mind is a powerful thing.

I used to be a mental health counselor for kids with dual diagnosis problems. Mental health and drug abuse. I had one kid who in the span of 3 months went from being able to have full conscious conversation to barely being able to stutter the words yes and no. We'd have a dialogue about what his future plans were, why he felt he needed to abuse several different drugs and his family relationship. Kid was brilliant too. Chemistry was his favorite subject and was making random chemical reactions happen with stuff he bought off the internet and YouTube videos. Making MDMA from over-the-counter medications, but started abusing drugs more because his parents constantly blamed him for just about everything and were unwilling to cooperate in handling the responsibility of their own actions and coming together as a unit to heal. The entire time they we yelling "FIX MY KID." Last time I saw him he was tweaking like crazy, could barely say anything, started watching porn and other random videos in front of us (we did therapy sessions with a team of 4) and collapsed on the floor before we called the ambulance to get him to the nearest hospital.

OP here, made this thread cause I got addicted to watching my blood drip for some reason (me in the pic). Am I just being retarded? Cause I still feel pretty sane myself

its like a stick of butter you left out on the counter top for to low slowly it starts to get all soft and squishy before slowky melting away like blood dripping from your eyes its almost though those faint sounds you swore you coulda heard but it was probably just your imagination

I feel you, user. It's really fucking bad and leaving the house should be as easy as it sounds but it isn't. Sometimes I'm too apathetic to care about leaving and my whole life feels like I'm dreaming.

I slowly lost my sanity when dad got sick. Really sick in hospital for over a month. He end up losing a leg to infection. I really lost it after he was due to discharge we told surgeon/head doc we will discharge next day but asshole nurse called the cops who made courtesy to let me know dad pass away when he didn't. Fucking hospital its not as if we didn't py the bills.When dad came home next few days I random cried or destroy things.

I had a friend tripping too much on drugs, he went full paranoia, it was pretty fucking annoying and I felt sorry for him, haven't spoken to him in years

Holy shit that sounds rough. I'm sorry for you and that kid, do you know how he is now?

That’s pretty fucked. Sorry to hear

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ass

We are quite alike, you and I.

It feels good knowing that there is another person with similar feelings to my own, and for that I thank you

Sounds delicious

Not a clue. Family blamed us for it and pulled out of the program. This was back in 2011-2012. I still think about that kid, and I honestly hope he got the help he needed.

How did you get that picture? I swore I took pictures like that several times in the past from coughing up those clots

I've seen your mom slowly eat my fat greasy cock.

Dad died from cancer. At the end cancer patients can get delirium, kinda like they go senile. The last few weeks before he died he was up at 3 in the morning making breakfast. He though day was night. Thought I was 10 again. (25 at the time.) Sad time.

See

nah man she was like 70 something when she died, they cremated her so I couldn't have any fun with her corpse

Same

feels bad man

Vyvanse coupled with weed put me into full paranoia mode, was not fun, lost confidence in the reality I perceive

mor details? if it was quick- greentext it

I guess its hard to answer this question. I daresay I lost my 'sanity' at least once, but maybe some of that was just a deep loss of morality?

10 years ago, I watched my dad die- heart attack, right in front of me. I couldn't handle it, even as it was happening, with 911 on the phone, I made jokes in my brain about him dying because I'd been holding some grudge for no reason, but based on the panic attacks my body started having within some 40 hours, I guess the grudge was fake. I realized only too late that I did, really love that man.

Panic Disorder has taken over. Its been 10 years now since he passed away, and my life has been controlled in so many ways.

Inability to control the panic caused abuse of xanax, during which times I would bug out and pick dandelions in the lawn with a spoon, by the root. I became very OCD of certain things. Eventually the drug caused a considerable amount of apathy towards things, including rules. I should note here that I was on probation at the time, and the apathy lead to violation and eventually prison.

will continue in another post

>pissing and food
So you shit in your bed?

see pic related, that's what happened first psychosis

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Shit, that’s pretty messed up. How are you doing now?

My ex developed schizophrenia. Thought his hospital was plotting against him, thought my family was plotting against him, thought I was plotting against him. Everyone plotting something against him.

MIL has early onset severe alzheimers. The body is still alive, the person is gone.

It's depressing to see in person.

Now, during prison they tried to fix me with therapy and antidepressants which made me feel entirely unhuman.

I refused them, and took to the gym. I'd gained 40 lbs at this point, in just 2-3 months, but by my release I'd lost 80 and came out much healthier.

I found a job, worked, went to college, even earned a degree. I'm married now, with 2 kids.

Yet, the panic and OCD controls so much. I have panic attacks on the road, and as such I haven't left my small town in 3 years or so.

In fact alot of my nights, rathe rthan fucking my wife and going to bed, I find myself placating her to sleep, and coming back to the computer where I hack things. People. Girls. Snapchats. Fap relentlessly to knowing I've seen girls naked who don't know. Is that insanity? Or is it a sort of extreme porn addiction?

And when I say hacking, well, sometimes its social engineering, sometimes its a leaked password that gets me here and there. I mean I am probably quite fucked in the head from some of the methods I have come up with to get a girls nudes. I probably have 30gb worth of girls pics stored hidden, and we are NOT a big community..

So tell me, Yea Forums, have I lost my fucking mind? because sometimes it seems like it. I get all autistic on a subject for a while, which distracts me from the hacking or whatever, and for a week or two im solely on some other shit until I see some girl or just get bored and re-triggered.

And the fucking panic. Fuck. Fuck panic.

Sounds like just about anyone on this board, desu

see my other post haha. Man its rough. I try to fit in, I try to at least seem and appear normal. I've occasional pretty violent outbursts even. I mean well- I just dont know that makes me actually happy anymore. I used to have things that I really enjoyed, but the inability to leave down for panic reasons has really limited a large amount of that, leaving me with.. well, my computer. vidya. making things.

Turns out I am decent with politics, but as a felon that kinda hinders things in that direction.

Has it occurred to you to get checked for adhd?

Kek, based hackposter. Talk with your wife about your sexual frustrations, without being specific. I’m sure she’d understand. I think this has to do with wanting a sense of control, but I’m no shrink so that’s I’ll i can give ya. Glad you’re out of prison though

no. I mean I suppose I could, if I had medical insurance, but my "job" makes me "too much money" to qualify.

she is pretty aware of my uh.. activities. actually she's asked me to get her into a fb or two, which takes a bit of time but I've obliged. I appreciate that last bit. Its hard sometimes not to feel like some kind of fucking pariah just from the label- I am not what society thinks. I may be a douche for hacking and stealing nudes, but I mean nobody any harm and I don't do anything malicious with them. I certainly care about the future of the community, so I can't be too far gone..

I’ve heard of shit that made you think you were traveling through five dimensions at once. But I’m sure any bit of acid will give that to you.

Me basically. I cut myself more and more. Smear the blood in my face and don't wash it off. Etc

Joyce Byers in Stranger Things, that bitch became a nut job

Damn

It started out as independent voices in my head, but now it's a mellow deep static voice in my head that isnt my own thoughts, it's a entirely different person it talks to me on the shit days but it hates me tho

>Making MDMA from over the counter medicines and stuff

Yeah that's not how it works

Disld I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

Ever thought of seeking out help?

I haven't experienced a break but I had a thought that wasn't my own once. It REALLY freaked me out.

Terry Davis?
youtube.com/watch?v=q7F3eZu6LOg

I myself entered into a month long psychotic episode complete with suicide attempts and high security psyche ward weeks. Wasn’t conscious of it at the time, but in hindsight it wasn’t actually my reality warping and changing, it was the fact thar everything WAS my reality. The scary part I feel like going crazy is the fact you don’t know you’re crazy, like you won’t be conscious of it to pull yourself out of it.

I’m incredibly lucky that I had a breakthrough and slowly pulled myself out of that out, but I still fight urges to fall into destructive, abusive behaviour most days. I still feel like I can fall into a dissociative state and go on auto pilot, it’s quite scary. One day and a time, with one faggot reply to a random board online at a time.

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yeah ever since i moved with my family.

How did this picture happen? What causes this?

Also, I lied about not being conscious of crazy shit. I used to get pissed off at my family for talking to me quietly when I was in my room till I realised they never were speaking to me in the first place. Voices in my head didn’t ring as much as an alarm bell as I should’ve.

it aso doesnt help that she has my records. shes a very controlling person

grow up you fucking cry babies

I’ve experienced it myself. It was educational. AMA.

she threatened to kill me because i caught her recording me

Psychosis isn’t a switch that you flip, where one moment you instantly lose touch with reality. It’s a gradual process...think of an airplane taking off.

Do you do drugs orjust have mental illness lr both?

This sounds like a delusion, which is a signpost on the way to psychosis. Why would she record you?

The voices in your head are actually you talking to yourself. When they take schizophrenic people who are hearing voices and do a brain scan, the area of the brain that is responsible for speech is noticeably active.

Sounds like just about anything I find on /x/ that questions existentialism

OP, if you are still here, what you are experiencing is self-harm, not psychosis. A lot of people self-harm, but it does not mean that they are losing touch with reality. You should tell someone as self-harm is not an effective coping mechanism.

My father's schizophrenia got worse but I was still a kid so I barely remember. One of the reasons why my mother left him.

I punched myself in the nose

>Has anyone here ever seen a person slowly lose their sanity?
Yep. My sister. Had growing delusions that her husband was having an affair and planned to leave her and take their 3 children
>How’s was it?
Fucking awful. She killed herself in the end, convinced she was better off dead that without her kids. Tragedy was it was all a delusion, my brother-in-law loved her to bits, had never been unfaithful and now the kids have no mother.

The problem was she painted such a credible picture of his alleged lies and infidelity that she had us all fooled, and we just had her side because who questions your sister and takes her husband's side, right?.

Shit.... poor kid

I have been slowly losing my mind the last year or so now I think. Feels kinda like I'm losing myself anyway and I'm slowly developing to a nutcase. Referred myself to a psych hospital around Christmas as I had seriously contemplated murder suicide or just packing my shit up and getting a 1 way ticket to bumfuck nowhere. The killing idea I've snapped out of but day by day I catch myself contemplating crazy shit and wonder who the fuck I'm becoming. And now I'm studying to be a counsellor so that should be fun.

Hate to break it to you, but probability is around 99% that he was fucking her best friend.

now she stopped speaking to me. i just wonder when shes going to do it again. or maybe shes planning something else. i have so much to say about her.
look man it would be easy to identify that as my major and interest is in psychosis and ive done much research on that. This has been happening since i moved in with her. She even drops hint of what i do in person with a smile on her face like why are you jacking off in the bathroom. Why do you use your left hand. she also does this thing where shes overly nice and she just goes crazy for no reason right after. for example i went to the kitchen to cook and she screams at me saying "dont spit in my food i know what you do when you get angry." which is something i would never do. or even planned on.i spoke loudly when no one was home about being abused when i was a kid to my self just to hear myself speak.then my nephew asked me about it. keep in mind no one knows. or should know. let me repeat "no one was home"

>Hate to break it to you, but probability is around 99% that he was fucking her best friend.
Nice try and nope. Jimmies still folder in drawer and in pristine condition. But what a sad sack you really are.

Thanks guys

I spoke loudly about what she does to manipulate me because i know shes recording what i say. i called her out on her shit. she said she owns the house but she owned nothing at the time. This started an argument that i didnt expect she started calling me names and started threatening to kick me out of the house. She then found a way to get the house under her name. After she did this she kept bragging about how she own everything and we shouldnt fuck with her because she owns the house and can kick us all out. She uses this when people get on her bad side.

>I spoke loudly about what she does to manipulate me because i know shes recording what i say. i called her out on her shit.
that wasnt meant to be there

I spoke loudly about what she does to manipulate me because i know shes recording what i say. i called her out on her shit.
The next day she says im lucky to be alive . and i should thank god for letting me see another day.

user, I’ve lived in my truck for three months straight until I could find a halfass decent apartment when I started making enough to pay rent. Not saying you should run from your problems, but damn there’s no need to let your sister intimidate you like this.

this is what i want to do. but i don't want my family to know where i went. i have a feeling that they will find me anyways.

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Had a friend who completely lost his shit on a coke/crack binge. Pretty much too ridiculous of a situation to sound true. Goes into a complete coke psychosis and becomes convinced that a talent agent has contacted him on twitter about his stand up (possible it happened but who knows really). This spirals into him talking to fake celebrity accounts on twitter and thinking that they are coming to his house and are his best friends. To the point he thought Jlaw was legit coming through with his next score. After some more standard melt down sutff like posting dick picks to insta he got help and as far as I know is atleast back on this planet mentally but it was probably as funny of a complete break down as someone could have. Was scared for the kid but man it was hard not to laugh sometimes.

Damn /poltards reeeee

Damn, well, more power to him

There’s at least 5 in this thread

OP here again. Thanks for sharing guys. I’m glad to have figured I’m at least not insane

what was she like when she was dying?

My aunt has dementia. That wasn't fun.

Smoke some weed it helped me

YES

It was and is very disturbing. I'll greentext it

>I live in a big apartment block
>The cutest girl lives on the 3rd or 4th floor
>sweet face, thick black hair and bright eyes
>this was about ten years ago now.
>I used to flirt with her, sometimes
>nothing ever came of it but we both had fun
>one time she pressed a square of chocolate into my mouth and kissed me
>it sounds hot but it was meant to be a joke i think
>anyway
>about 7 or 8 years ago something changed
>she started ignoring everyone and would scurry away if she ran into me
>her hair went full on gray within a year
>she started developing really weird habits
>like standing completely still for 20 minutes, half an hour
>sometimes at night in the corridors you would turn on the light and she would just be standing there
>her eyes lost their shine and went glassy and dull
>she started talking and arguing to herself sometimes quite viciously
>once i saw her... fighting like a swarm of invisible bats
>i've tried talking to her
>she always just puts her head down and rushes away mumbling
>it's been like this for years now
>she never has any friends or visitors
>i have no idea what to do about her and i honestly wouldn't be surprised if she somehow winds up dead sooner or later

Yeah me, I've had to deal with what are likely schitzophrenic delusions and hallucinations for nearly a decade. Thankfully I'm a logical enough person to know they aren't real. It's weird having a delusion you know aren't rational pop into your head, even knowing it's wrong you almost want to entertain the idea.

didn't have much food and zero money for three months and things started to slip.
Heard constant random voices talking jibberish, got vertigo any direction I looked and got lost in my own neighborhood due to confusion.. Rubbing my feet calmed my mine somewhat so I did that a lot. I knew I was going crazy and it was terrifying!