How should i kill myself ?

how should i kill myself ?

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Pick your poison faggot

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Tie a rope around your tongue and shit the other end out. Then climb to a roof and tie the rope to something on the roof and then jump off

subway train

Wrap a car around a tree with a prostitute on your dick.

Hang up a running lawnmower up with a rope anchored to the ground. Have a candle burning the rope as you lay under the mower, slowly splitting the rope and dropping it on your head. Stream it for the keks

Stab yourself with an ice dagger. Make sure no one finds you for several hours. They will think it's a murder. Try to plant circumstantial evidence on someone you hate. Pepper yourself with their hair, grab a cup with plenty of their DNA.

>how should i kill myself ?
Start eating right, and do some exercise. Go and take up a new hobby, and get involved in the community surrounding it. Make a new friend. Treat yourself better and work on your self confidence. Find a job you don't hate. Talk to a girl. Take her out for coffee. Go on a holiday somewhere you always wanted to go. Just keep doing things until you eventually die. Maybe you won't feel like leaving in such a hurry.

oh man if this isn't a "its almost summer" post - then I don't know what is

as someone who cut wrists in a failed suicide attempt it doesn't hurt at all, except the initial cut and some headaches

this has some potential except that you would have to make sure to do it when the other person is unable to establish an alibi. For example, your time of death is determined to be XYZ, and at that time that person was in school with about 200 witness around (and video cameras. So - you would have to sort that out first.

Other than that, its not a bad idea. He/she might not end up going to jail for it - but they will have a really fucked up couple of months while the investigation is happening and will never be able to convince EVERYONE that they didn't do it - there will always be skeptics. Would probably have to move to a new town.

Life ain't that bad OP. Permenant solution to temporary problems man. Indulge into a hobby and follow what user was saying.

whatever way you do it OP, make sure you leave a note expressing your regret for your homosexual feelings, and buy a bunch of dildos, and download a TON of kinky gay porn to your computer also.

After that, the method is of little consequence.

Also, make sure you do it naked. Finding a naked dead person is always more impactfull.

Tie this all together and make it seem like you were murdered + plus the dildos + love letter to suspect making claims about your forbidden love + gay porn on computer + circumstantial evidence he did it/was there and is your lover.

He may avoid jail. But half the town will think he is a homo.

Old age

>stab of chest

fiery volcano

Breathe pure nitrogen or helium. Your body responds to the dissolved carbon dioxide in your bloodstream. Nitrogen and helium are inert so during the gas exchange in your lungs, you’ll remove CO2 while not adding any oxygen. You’ll be hypoxic very quickly because the lungs work on osmosis. Each gas exchange will halve the oxygen content in the blood currently in the lungs. Since there is no autonomous response to anything but CO2, it will be completely painless. You’ll pass out in under a minute so as long as the mask stays attached death will happen in just a few minutes.

not that hard OP. Get some drugs to knock yourself out - and do it over a train track. Or at the edge of a cliff/bridge/building roof. You will out cold when death hits you. Won't feel a thing.

have sex till you die

Or a fuckton of sleeping pills will do.
Goodbye.

It seems strange that this list, which is clearly garbage based on nonsense, doesn't even include carbon monoxide poisoning, which while not quick is famously painless--your body just mistakes the CO for oxygen and drifts off to sleep.

OP, I hope you're not serious. I hope you are just shitposting. But if on the off chance you are not, please get help rather than killing yourself. Every problem you have can be addressed*, until the problem becomes that you have just jumped from a bridge.

*In before "no my problems are forever/insoluble" -- I'm not going to assume all your problems can be solved. Maybe they can't. But they can be dealt with and your situation likely improved. Suicide always leaves pain and trouble for others behind, even if just for the poor innocent who has to find your corpse (but it probably goes farther than that).

Don't forget to blow all your savings on hookers beforehand.

snu snu