Chins, I need to talk

Chins, I need to talk.

>be me, 23
>university student
>be at event with my flat mate
>see unbelievably attractive redhead
>start a conversation with her an her group of friends
>eventually go to small local
>spend the entire night talking and drinking
>getting the opportunity to kiss her, decide against it
>tell her this would be the point where I'd kiss my one night stands, but that's not what I see in her
>8am, time to go home
>walk what of the way we share together and seperate
>next day, she calls
>tells me last night meant a lot to her
>she really needed someone she could talk to like that
>and if we could go on
>hungover, probably still high, just out of bed me answers: Oh, well, I don't remember anything, actually. I know we had a great night, but that's very much it.
>it's the truth, but I immediately regret it
>she's not happy about it, sounds really hurt and soon ends the call
>think I blew it, but at this point in my life I was really used to screwing up relationships, mostly because I wasn't looking for one and just enjoyed student life
>over the next two weeks a lot of the conversation comes back to me
>start to remember what I was thinking about her while we talked
>realize I developed feelings for her
>tell myself how dumb that is and that I don't know her and she's just another girl I'm horny over
>run into her a month or so later
>hang out at the park with her and her friends
>she's amazing
>think about how I've been a dick to her and should take it slow until I've made up for it
>just talk with her, flirty body contact, perfectly tame and after the book
>start hanging out with her and her friends regularly, one, two times a week
>all of them are really political, so am I
>we hardly share any view, but the conversations are great
>halloween comes around
>she invites me over to her party
>think to myself that I should probably make a move that night before we become just friends
>have quite strong feelings towards her at this point

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>she invites me to stay the night
>eventually it's just the two of us
>we're in a heated debate about social justice and how tyranny is built into the ideology
>tell her I wouldn't want my children to live in a world that functions after her desires
>comes out way harsher than I wanted
>I know she loves children
>she knows I know
>she starts crying and goes to bed
>couch.jpg
>make my way out there the next morning before she wakes up, but after I've spilled a good litre of wine
>I used to drink a lot, thank god I got over that
>her flat mate helps me clean up the mess (decent looking blonde girl)
>she doesn't respond to my texts
>heartbroken.png
>also I deserved it
>weeks go by, no word from her
>by this time my flat mate has befriended one of her peers (since I hung out with them a lot, so did my flat mate)
>eventually we all hang out together and casually drink
>she's being distant
>I tell myself that I don't care and that I'm over her
>they ask if it's okay if two other girls join our group (now consisting of two of my friends, my flatmate, redhead and three of her friends)
>sure, the more the better
>enter stage: bombshell of a brunette
>loose shirt with bikini topped boob hanging out, tight linen pants
>thatass.erection
>heavily flirt with her
>it's about 2am by this time
>she leaves to pee
>I wait a little and go pee, too
>meet her on her way back
>kiss her
>we make out
>she tells me to keep that from her friends, she doesn't want to be seen like a slut
>absolutely
>tell my friend what's up, he leaves and takes my other friends and my flat mate with him
>redhead and her friends eventually leave around 4 or 5 am
>walk home with brunette
>weird sex, really fun
>she's a pretty decent artist, smokes weed a lot
>spend the next three weeks fucking, smoking, painting and eating
>no word towards her friends, of course
>obviously because I don't want her to be known as a slut and totally not to hide from redhead that I'm banging one of her friends

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>whole group is out drinking cocktails
>tell brunette I'm fucking horny and want to make out with her
>she says she doesn't want to, but she's not resisting
>heavily make out (in fact I'm so into it that some faggot stole my backpack from under the fucking bench)
>redhead sees
>everyone sees
>next day friend tells me that redhead just stared at us devestated
>tell him he's probably wrong, since he's a no good drunkard like me and wouldn't know what happened yesterday if his life depended on it

>also next day
>brunette and me are at my place
>getting naked
>just before the action starts she says
>"Oh, I don't know if you know, but redhead is in love with you"
>hits me like a fist
>denial suddenly ends
>all the feelings come back
>realize that I just couldn't stop hurting her
>decide to play it off
>possibly influenced by 9/10, skinny, blue-eyed, naked brunette ready for sex
>"Well, I'm sorry for her then, I'm not looking for a relationship anyways"
>lies.mp3
>after another week of fucking brunette her commie ass eventually gets tired of my capitalist dickface
>very political, everyone, no shit
>dumps me
>fine
>eventually move to another city
>half a year goes by
>don't talk to redhead at all
>only hear from her through my former flat mate, because she's good friends with them now
>feelings go away
>she gets a boyfriend eventually
>good for her, unironically
>turns out he's a dick
>well, obviously, how else would such a story unfold, right? Sorry for that not so surprising surprise.
>shields her from her friends
>they literally don't get to know him for the first three months of their relationship
>she and her friends and him and his friends attend the same event by mere chance/miscommunication, otherwise they probably still wouldn't know him
>former flat mate constantly bugs me about how I should do something about it
>tell her that redhead is an adult and can do how she pleases
>tell her I'm over it and I'd rather not meddle in her life anymore for her good andmine

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>fast forward this weekend
>attend house party of mutual friend of redhead and me
>redhead and I talk a lot
>we're just so good at conversing with one another
>fight against even the slimmest hint of feelings coming up for her
>eventually decide it's time to actually become part of the party and make some new friends
>leave for different rooms
>she leaves for the living room with music
>I enter a room with no lights, just out of curiosity
>hot blonde and the cliché stoner guy preparing two lines of coke
>makeitthree.nosebleed
>blonde and I end up making out on the bed
>do N2O, laugh, kiss, touch
>casual fun, more friendly than sexual, actually
>room eventually fills up, too, as more people attend the party
>blonde and I decide to go for a smoke in the kitchen
>she insists I sit on her lap
>weird, but alright
>have a tendency to get up a lot to do stuff anyways, so it makes sense
>kiss from time to time, just having a good time
>look over to redhead
>she's looking sad
>can't be because of me, right?
>go over and sit next to her
>start talking again
>blonde eventually leaves for the balcony
>redhead tells me how she's really unhappy with her flat mates and how they've supposedly accidentally poisoned her dog with 80% cacao chocolate
>they even got rid of the evidence and pretended nobody bought chocolate
>dog vomits chocolate
>weird how that works
>they admit they knew and hid the chocolate
>they do a lot of stuff like that
>tell redhead she should honestly get out of there
>I'm currently renting two flats until I can get out of the contract next month
>offer her to live there, it's not like I need it and it's empty anyways
>she agrees
>consider that we're quite severely drunk at this point
>try to light up her mood so I switch topic for a while
>after some time I decide it's time to leave
>write down my number to give to blonde, of course
>go and give it to her
>on my way back, redhead
>"bye"
>hugs me really long

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>pull away from her to look her in the eyes
>she tries to kiss me
>I turn it into a hug and softly push her away
>her eyes tear up
>"it's alright, redhead"
>-"what?"
>"everything"
>she starts crying
>I hug her, kiss her head and pull her close
>realize that I love her
>actual, real love
>I don't think I've ever felt the desire to be there for someone as much as I did in that moment
>eventually pull away from her, get my jacket and leave

I'm sorry that this took so long, but the context was necessary to make sense of my questions:
Should I let her kind of move in with me? Kind of in the sense that I don't really live there anymore.

Should I use that to snatch her from her boyfriend?

If we end up having sex or more, would she only do it to leave her current situation? That's not what I want at all.

Can I even justify getting her if it then so happens, after I've hurt her so often?

In short: What do Yea Forums?

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i'd say leave her alone but that's just my opinion

I tend to think the same. I still don't feel like I'm the one she should be looking for. But I thought exactly that every single time I supposedly ruined it with her just to find out that me staying out of her life made it worse and neither her nor my feelings went away. Also love always has a selfish part, so I not only want her to be happy, but I also want to be happy with her.

I don't get how all of this can be so complicated, but then again I'm pretty bad at understanding emotions anyways.

cmon dude

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I love greentexts, but I am not going to read a fcking chapter of "OP's misadventures". FFS, learn to sum up

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Yes, it's way more than I could expect anyone to read.
It's also a really, really, really condensed version of what happened and I don't think I could have left out much more.

I appreciate the bump, though.

have tits in return

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well look if you don't act on it you'll probably regret but if you do something what the worst thing that can happen

Let her move in, you don't really live there, and she (and presumably you) want her to.
First law of life.
Do as thou wilt.

ask yourself: what would you rather regret, doing it or not taking the chance/knowing what would've happened?

and also very much an answer to It's hard to say what the worst thing even is.
Probably me hurting her that one last time that permanently seperates us.
I can't tell if I'd arrive at that outcome if I act or don't act on my desires.

The best outcome would be her seperated from her friends by an hour drive, seperated from me by a two hours drive, spending most of her days alone, because I literally don't have enough time of the day outside of work to drive to her and back.
At least that's the worst aspects of the best outcome.

If I dared to dream then I'd simply quit my job, quit my new flat, pick up a job at her city and move in with her into a new flat. But that's unrealistic, my job is really promising at the moment and there would still be the fact that I couldn't be sure if she would stick to me out of necessity. That's even assuming that she would leave her current boyfriend, of which I am not sure.

I'd say you go for it
This kind of love is rare, she just can't get over it, you can't get over it, so you both go for it and if it doesn't work it will probably be worth trying.
+ you'll save her from unhappy love with her current bf

While I feel a knot burst in my heart every time I allow myself to think about exactly that, I can feel it tightening again a second later, because I have so much doubt that anything will work out. At this point I'm so afraid of hurting her that I'm not even sure if I could have a meaningful relationship with her. Nobody needs someone who just wants to make you happy, she needs someone who can help her become a better person.

Before this 404's on me, thanks to the people who actually took the time to read this and reply, that's unbelievably kind.

Fucking tell her that then
Fuck
This isn't some bullshit soap that needs to fill an hour of a lone housewife's time. This is real life.
I fucking swear all bullshit would disappear if people were just more blunt and honest with each other.

hella entertaining

Are you uncapable to make her a better person?

but in all honesty this was a very entertaining story

Yeah, I would share your opinion 99% of the time. I'm pretty straight forward usually. It's just something entirely different this time.

I don't know if I can be as disagreeable as I should be with her, because of all the BS I've done to her in the past. So, in essence, there's a good chance that I in fact am incapable of making her a better person.

Great, that's probably the first good that comes from all of this.

Thanks, don't forget to like and subscribe and donate to my patreon.

On a serious not, though, it's good that there is something in this for you people.

thanks for the tits. I tried so hard to read it but only got about halfway through the second post. fucking ADD. from what I gathered, you like this chick a lot but she's a rose glasses wearing liberal or vice versa and you're worried about it getting in the way? is that basically the brunt of it?

If thats the case, and you don't know if you are capable.
Count +1 on the "be blunt and honest with each other"
That will leave it to the multivers to decide

>It's different this time >W

Just stop hooking with other girls and ask the redhead out for fuck's sake. If you can show up here and admit you love her, you can nut up enough to admit to her that you at least *like* her.

It's only complicated because you're too young to have figured out how uncomplicated it really is. There's only three factors in a relationship: The way you feel, the way your partner feels and the circumstances around you. That last one is only *one* factor, not the ten million people tend to think it is in college and high school, and it boils down to one question: Do those circumstances prevent you from being together?

So you've established that she's into you, you've established that you're into her, and you've implied that there are no circumstances making hooking up impossible or even difficult. And don't tell me that you're "not ready" to commit to something: dating is not a commitment, fucking is not a commitment, and fucking someone you're dating is *still* not a commitment. No break up the two of you could have would hurt worse than feeling like you let "the one" get away ten years from now. I know, I spent 20 years regretting letting the "the one" get away, and it was only dumb luck (and Yea Forumsros, believe it or not) that allowed me to get back in touch with her.

So just fuck her, already. You'll never regret doing that, but you'll almost certainly regret not doing it.

kek
I wish.
I don't actually have a problem with her SJW-esque politics, I believe in reason and discourse and she's highly intelligent, so either she will get it eventually or I will be the one to be proven wrong.

>>It's different this time >WMan the fuck up faggot
Yeah, I realized the cop-out just as I was typing it and pointing out my faggotry is fair criticism. Though I do actually have a long list of things proving that so far I virtually never not had the balls and there is no doubt that despite it being harder if actual emotions are involved, I would act if I thought it to be the right thing to do.

+1 counted
I'm just unsure if I should yet again destroy a relationship in her life, which is inevitable if I want her to be mine. "Another", because brunette and redhead don't hang out anymore and it's my fault.

>I spent 20 years regretting letting the "the one" get away
Funny that you say that. It took me 12 years and a bunch of ruined relationships to get over my first love.
That's probably actually the best and most obvious argument in my case. I'm definitely not ready for 12 more years of the pain of loss and half assing relationships and stealing time of women just to pretend in front of myself to have found "love".

I guess I will have to risk hurting her and me and her boyfriend and our friends. Kind of fucked up if you think about it.

Dear god Yea Forumsros, what if it works? I can't even imagine how I would feel if we get together. I've never been in a relationship with someone I truly love, that's just not something that happens.

fuck. FUCK. have another bump while I force myself to read it in its entirety. I won't feel right unless I do knowing there's real love at stake here. no homosex.

>I guess I will have to risk hurting her and me and her boyfriend and our friends.
I just realized that I hierarchized that in exactly that order without thinking about it. Looks like I actually do know what I want. Or maybe I'm overanalyzing it.

OP would you be kind enough to post pic of one of the girls that you were close to. Im interested in redhead but any other whores you fucked would be fine

better to have lived and died than being a bitch go for it you majestic fag

I figure you're addnon.
I won't blame you for not reading a non-natives 8600 character emotional shit show of a greentext.

No way, sorry. I'm one of those faggots who really respect people's right to privacy. And even that aside, I know too many people lurking this board and this story would easily identify me if I posted them.

Except for the random girls I've fucked that aren't related to her (different cities anyways), but I don't even have their full names, let alone their pictures. All kind of the same type, though. Slim 7s to 9s, only really varying in hair color. One jewish chick who kind of got me into dark, curly hair. Nothing beats redhead, though.

This seems to be the best option.
I'm thinking how I should go about it. I think the best option would be to actually not have her more into my flat, so I can eliminate the possibility of her feeling that she owes me something. She's giving a birthday party on thursday, but she knows that I have to work, so I can unsupsiciously stay away from that, as her boyfriend would be there and I feel no right to ruin that day. Leaves the weekend. I know my former flat mate has something planned and we could invite redhead. I also know her boyfriend won't come along, because he's never meeting with her friends.

Later than this weekend would be problematic, because I really do want her to move into my flat, regardless of how we stand, because she definitely needs to get out of hers.

This makes me so fucking nervous. Kind of in a good way, I really like the uncertainty of dealing with women in a romantic way, but also so much in a bad way over the stakes. Fuck.

You're a child with a child's whimsies. If you loved her you would not be thinking about, much less messing around with, some other slut.

Grow up.

You're entitled to that view, but let's not be overly dramatic over casual sexual activities. Also please consider that redhead and I haven't met for like half a year before saturday and I literally went to the party to fuck a feminist chick, from which I then consciously abstained to spend time with redhead.

I mean, that has to count for something, I do hope.

I say let's advance your life: go for her. Maybe later thing will go bad, but it doesn't matter: you'll know you tried, and this won't be a constant "what if..." that will haunt you forever. Go after her, I'd do that.

Plus I've been in love with a redhead for years hehe.

>Plus I've been in love with a redhead for years hehe.
This just became a conversation among true gentlement.

Yes, I will go for it, it seems to be the best option.

With that said, I'll sooner or later sleep. I have to get up in just about four hours and I'll be working at least two hours overtime again, so I have to be rested.

Thanks Yea Forumsros for joining me on this adventure and giving advice and criticism.
And may all of us find our redhead, ger her and be happy.

You will hurt her wether now by leaving her again or later when you guys will split up. That's how relashionships work but if you can make her live some good times before maybe its worth the shot... great story btw

Well, maybe we will split up, who knows. All I know now is that I want to be with her and I want us to become better persons together.

At the party saturday she and I went outside for about an hour or so to get cigarettes. Well, and to be alone, obviously. We also grabbed two beers and sat down at a bench and talked. First time I actually got "lost in someone's eyes" as people tend to say. Always sounded dumb to me. Romantic, but not realistic. Turns out it's very realistic. I was so captured by how she talks, how she moves her lips, how she twitches her brows and how she looks into my eyes that it became impossible to lead the conversation. Weird feeling. Great feeling. This unironically sounds fucking gay.

Well, it seems that you had your answer all along. I wish you two the best

If you ever come back to post updates use the same op image. I want to search the archives in a few months.

Alright, I will eventually post an update, of that I am sure.
It's been a rocky path up until this point and it's foolish to assume that it will continue any differently, so there probably will be something to add.