What’s the worst sex you’ve ever had?

> share apartment with megadepressed gothscene girl
> possibly good looking but would never know under that scowl and hideous make up
> Im a surfer dude. Blonde, fit. She and I move in different worlds.
> one day I'm sitting on my bed in the sun, kitty on my lap
> she walks in, needs to talk about rent money or some shit
> sits on the bed with me, starts patting the cat
> feels a bit too familiar but fuck it
> cat jumps off
> hand stays there, she starts feeling up my crotch
> oh ffs, dear god no
> do not want
> fuck I might as well kiss her, see if I can take this further
> not a good kisser at all but I've got a handful of boob to keep me entertained
> she hitches my dick out of my shorts leg
> he's barely interested
> unimpressive bj
> gives me half a semi at best
> would help if she wasn't so dead looking
> fuck it, time to take over, imma screw this bitch
> throw her on her back
> rip her $2 tights off, get my hand up her jean shorts
> fap myself with one hand, pull her panties to one side and finger her with the other
> look down get a glimpse of uggo hairy snatch
> stab her with my dick, only get the head in
> keep pushing shes dry
> I know she was abused as a kid so she wont stop me, I keep forcing it
> 'ow!'
> stfu this isnt about you
> keep pushing start to get somewhere
> hold myself high over her, dont want to touch her
> hump her while staring at the wall
> we are properly fucking now
> awkward and uncomfortable
> Crotch on her jean shorts rubs against side of my dick, fucken ouch
> pull out, take shorts off but keep undies on
> line up again get back in, ok thats only slightly better
> continue boring fuck session
> she finally says 'this is hurting me'
> fine, ill finish
> Concentrate on something sexy pick up my speed
> Im gonna cum in you, you on the pill?
> sure just hurry up and do it
> finally blow my load 2/10 orgasm
> run to bathroom
> look back see her wiping her open cunt with her shorts
> strip blanket off my bed, smells like stinky pussy

>drinks alone with a guy who befriends girls who r way younger
Good job OP, victim never is partially at fault

Fucked an ugly bitch cause I was horny and she didn't tell me she was on her period. Shit was the opposite of cash.

I am a dude

Nice job trying to fuck someone while they are try, did being a fit surfer have anything to do with the story?

Id say the worst was my first attempt at sex. Had the experience of a potato so didnt attempt any foreplay to get her wet, just excited to fuck. She got on top and tried to put it in, failed, and pretty much put all her weight on top but was really petite and not that wet so just crushed my dick.

She dumped me for irrelevant reasons and I fucked some black chick and came after 4 pumps.

Yes sir it did. Because she and looked nothing like each other. I was at the beach 24/7, I'm fit af. Shes in her bedroom all the time listening to Marilyn manson, pudgy and pale. She shouldve been honoured to have me fuck her. I was outta her league.

Oh. Why werent u wearing clothes

Fair enough

Yes. I would also like to know. Seems like this guy wanted in.
I mean, lying in bed drunk with another dude? And you let yourself get fucked? Doesn't add up.

stale pasta

This guy is s total douche

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Lol. It's my oc. Awesome that you recognise it.
Yeah. I am a bit of a douche. I sleep well at night despite that. My character isn't important. This threads about dud sex.

You are a dude, right?

My hand said no. So i raped her and made left watch.

Liar. Water makes for shitty lube. So the sex sucks in a different way

>no.

Just stop. You're a retard.

I’m 38 and have 18 year old friends. I wouldn’t rape anyone.

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Water does the opposite young virgin.

Basically my first time. I was so concerned not to cum too early and embarrass myself that I couldnt cum after like an hour of fucking. My dick wasnt fully erect anymore and I tried so fucking hard to cum until the girl asked if we can stop. Well at least I didnt cum in like 2 seconds lol

> Be 30
> Friend with this bitch who's like 18
> Asked for a drink
> Asked for some more drinks
> Iknowwhatshappeningnext.exe
> started cuddling
> Insertpenis.jpg
> Kept fucking till i came inside
> Took me 10 seconds to realize i was raped.

Sex is like pizza even when it’s bad it’s pretty good

Something similar to that. The damage was annoying for years.

Faggot. The reasons jacuzzi sex is the worst is that it washes away her lube not because it’s too wet.

Forgot the part where they are drinking naked since he put his penis in with no clothing removal

Youve never had no cheese with anchovies then.

>go to party
>drink and smoke weed
>it was late so only the fat desperate girls would come out
>girls show up
>both bigguns'
>one is atleast 200 pounds while the other one has to be pushing 300
>take lighter one for my own safety
>leave my friend to fend off the Uggs
>take off clothes
>turn off light
>catch a fat wiff of some sweaty armpits
>ugghh
>but drunk so
>get some nice head
>trying to get jeans off
>shes just giggling and tryibg to be cute
>cant get fat bitch's jeans out from are her fat ass and hips
>put foot on wall and summon inner Spartan strength
>finally wrench her fucking pants off
>get glass of water cause thirsty after all that work
>go back in and get ontop of her
>think I have it in her pussy but actually have it in crease of her fucking groin
>reposition
>get a another fat wiff of hot wet catfood smelling pussy
>pussy smelled like a cats breath
>ugh okay I'll just flip her over
>oops forgot condom
>search around for condoms cause I dont want to knock up kukko the whale over here
>flip on light
>find condom
>adjusting my jimmy hat when I look down into the abyss that is her asscrack
>mom didnt raise no quotes
>stick dick in riding her doggy
>ass is to fat and awkward for it to be any fun
>look down
>brown smeared doo doo all up in her ass
>doo doo in my pubic hair
>feel sick
>she asked if I was okay
>told her the booze made me sick
>she leaves
>thow up
>still cringe about that years later

Well you've obviously never had sex

>Yea Forums
>having sex

Yikes

I had a pinched nerve or something, and for about 3 months any time my wife and I did the deed, I would wind up with a massively painful “thunderclap” headache.

I'm a dude and I was wearing clothes, he just undressed me

Backstory: went to college in a small town so classes were smaller (my class had 5 of us) and everyone there was either old or unattractive.
2 year dry spell before dropping out. Worked in a bar in the meantime and made enough money to get out of mom and dad's house.

Start talking to an ex of mine, she's super flirty and still pretty cute so I figured "yeah why not go for it". Turns out when she got to my apartment she hadn't mentioned that her face had broken out into big red sores and she gained about 30 pounds. Though "fuck it, it's been two years and you need to feel something" so she gives me a bj which wasn't half bad. Then we fucked....
It was summer, muggy and hot, and I was doing all the work fucking her. She was sweating like the disgusting pig she was, even stained my bedsheets with her stank. To make matters worse her ass wasn't clean so she left a nice big brown stain on my shirt from fucking her from behind.
Needless to say I didn't cum and I didn't call her back

Gf and i were in New Orleans for new years. Hooked up with some bitch for a threesome. Got back to the hotel and all she wanted to do was eat my gfs pussy. Watched for a while then said fuck it and crept up behind her and stuffed it in. She tried to fight me off but i overpowered her and just took that shit. Pulled out and nutted on my gfs pussy then made the bitch clean it up. She left unhappy. On second thought it wasn't that bad.

I’m married. But I’m also a 38 year old liberal Jew from Kansas. So I may not be a good representation

Never had bad sex....
What am I doing wrong?

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Everything

getting caught by cops fucking a raver chick going home from a rave in the last train cart on the long island railroad, stayed at the local pct. til my pops picked me up.

any sex at all with my current gf

I have to keep trying to nurture her good mood throughout it and it's just not worth the effort.

I lurk way more than I should, blyat