Hello Yea Forums

I guess that you're right. Thanks.

You're right about having to take time to sort my own shit out first. Thanks for the advice.

hahah yeah it sucks I had to break up with my ex and I still think about her daily. also think about fucking her a lot and honestly haven't wanted to fuck anyone else

Sorry to hear that.
How long ago was this?

like September I think? after 3 years. I love her so much still but she fucked up and was spiraling into mental illness and addiction and dragging me with her. I'd love to be with her in the future really but I'm not sure that'll ever be a good idea. she's still madly in love with me and I could text her right now and drive to her house and use her in any way I want which makes it even harder

Arh.. That sucks man.
I was in a somewhat similar situation. My girl also had mental issues that affected me negatively.
My parents were becoming worried as well.
My girl has stated that she is letting go of the idea that we will ever be together. I still love her, but I'm not sure if we will be able to try again later in life.
She is also having establishing a family as her mission within years. I'm noway near being ready for family life.

Yeah no problem, faggot. I’ve been having my own relationship issues, so it helps to hopefully help somebody else be better with it. But I mean she obviously means a lot to you, or else you wouldn’t have started dating after 6 years or making this thread.

That being said, just remember that if she doesn’t know what she is doing wrong or what’s wrong in your head(commitment issues or whatever) then it’s not going to get better. You may still have a shot, but you definitely need her to understand everything and you need to as well. It’s a lot of work, but it’s also worth it if you love her and she loves you. There’s so many different factors to this kind of thing.

i had the same thing. love but i knew it wasn’t right. spent months trying to get out of it and still glad i did. do what you know is right.

My primary problem is that I don't know If I am having issues, or it simply wasn't meant to be. How can you know which is which? I don't have any conscious fears of commitment, but I did feel trapped at times .

Sad to hear that. This is exactly what I feel as well. Love, but still not right. I hope I will reach the same conclusion that you reached.

Oh Jesus here I go.

Does she make you want to be a better person? Do you imagine a life where the mundane things are fun with her? Do you imagine a life, not where you’re going out on a date every day, but where you can come home and make dinner with her and settle in to watch whatever shitty TV show she wants? Does she make you feel like that’s possible? Is that even what you want? I can’t tell you if you have commitment issues, but you gotta make a fucking choice, man up, and give it a go either way.

Either you’re confident enough that you don’t want to be with her(you’re not) or you’re confident enough that you could have a great time or life with her(you’re not).

So make a choice, have a go at whatever YOU WANT. You started dating for a reason you fucking cockgobbler. Relationships sometimes make you feel trapped but WHY? Is it because she’s controlling or because you want to fuck sluts? You have to decide and figure this stuff out, I can’t do it for you. I can just tell you what I’ve been through.

life goes on, I learned plenty from my time with her and I know with a few more months I'll be back to "normal." yeah your situation sounds very similar, her relationship with my parents and their judgement of her actions had been an issue. my ex said she was gonna try to let me go too but I still get drunk calls and texts often and i wish i could do something to help her. luckily she didn't ever want kids though, that's a lot of pressure

Hmm.. I see. I will consider these things.
I don't think that I've really felt energized by the relationship. Basically, no, I wasn't "pushed" to become a better person by being with her. I always felt that I was on damage control.

Yeah, you're probably right.
You really do wanna help your girl, but ultimately only they can fight their own battles.

Also, I don't think its healthy to walk into a relationship where you have to "fix" someone from the get-go.

yep, it's a good and bad thing. I like helping others so sometimes it's hard to stop doing that even when you know its hurting you. her friends said I took the easy route but it would have been so much easier to just keep doing the same thing

100% right on that too, and she warned me when we first met. but we're both pretty weird fucked up people and I think we just fed off each other and that led to full on codependency and enabling. I guess the good was inversely proportional with the bad but I'll always have love for her. very kind and misunderstood person

Yeah, I generally also want to help everybody who is close to me. I trait that I'm very attentive about, as I'm pretty sure that same trait caused my mother to try and solve everybody's problem but her own.

Exactly true, the easy route is to stay and expecting a new outcome every day. And often its only you that are on the receiving end of the days where it all goes south and feelings take charge.

I knew from other people that my girl was pretty weird too. She told me about her traumatic past and I hoped I could "save" her, but instead I was overwhelmed by the mental instability and responsibility was suddenly at my feet.

couldn't agree more user. thank you for the chat, you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders. especially agree with the overwhelming aspect you describe, as much as we may want to help we are barely qualified to handle our own problems lol

Totally agree abut how we try to help people, but can barely figure out our own problems.

Thanks for the chat, helped me immensely.
You sound like you got a healthy mind as well.

All the best.