I don't know what's wrong with me but I feel permanently damaged

I feel like I haven't and I won't experience anything normally, like I've seen too much too early

Until I die

Same but it makes you enlightened. Go out more and stop procrastinating. Get some discipline and routine. Do sports and eat good.
You will stop having these thoughts and feel calm and amazing 24/7

That's my plan. Thanks

Hey user, we are all fucked up to a certain degree. If you have serious problems handling your day to day life, go see a therapist.

You'll grow out of it.

Move out, find something you enjoy doing with your time.

I try. I wish I could escape my mind

Only the start is hard. Set low goals like doing your bed each morning and brushing your teeth.
Manipulate yourself so you have no choice but to be happy. Dont expect to climb a mountain at ones. Even tho you are able to. Go 100m each and youll see you will climp it at once.
Dont beat yourself up about falling back to patterns instead say to yourself: hey I did it I managed to do it for a couple of days.

Thanks man. I've always been lazy so it's going to be hard

Find a hobby.
I suck at drawing but I decided to give it a go.

If it doesn't work out pick another hobby.

Keep yourself active and you will find life to be much more enjoyable.
You don't need to be rich or have a relationship.
You just need a healthy distraction.
Life is all about moving from one distraction to another.

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I guess you're right. My darkest moments are when I'm doing nothing, like right now. Gonna pick up my guitar