> be me
> be a therapist for some rehab place
> have some 17 yr old faggot come in
> turns out he's a huge alcoholic
> one week into it he's freaking out because no alcohol
> ignores all the retarted therapy sessions we have, even though he's kinda forced too
> fast forward another week
> I come into his room, he has no time too react because doors stay opened
> I see him drinking hand sanitizer
> ask him what the fuck he is doing
> says he was trying to drink the rubbing alcohol from the hand sanitizer
> this retard doesn't understand rubbing alcohol
> has to be to taken to urgent care
>we end up haven too get rid off all our hand sanitizer and the rubbing alcohol from our medical pantry
>one week passes since te incident
> our chef has bought tomato sauce for some sweet spaget dinner
> this fucking retard thought there would be alcohol in the sauce
> and sometimes there is but not in this jar
> I come into his room for a nightly check up right before lights out
> this mofucker has drank the entire fucking jar of tomato sauce and the empty jar is just sitting on his chair
> (quick note this place is nice and takes thousands of dollars to become a patient here, mostly just rich white people whose retarded teen got in trouble)
>I have a chat with the rest of my coworkers about his problem
> Nobody knows what to do because his alcoholism is too extreme
> its now 2 days before his parents pick him up
> he turned 18 so hes legally an adult
> we take some of our teens to see a movie
> he is among them
> 30 minutes into the movie I realized he had snuck off
> I went out to find him
> this theatre is connected to a mall fyi
> mfw I spot him in handcuffs and next to mall cops outside a applebees
> turns out he tried to rob the applebees of one of there shitty light beers
> we end up having to gather all his things for his early departure
> never seen him again
> i hate my job
be me
Shitty for the guy user, some people cannot be helped I guess.
I hope that sometimes you can see that your job helps people and that it brings you joy just knowing that some are getting the help they need.
It was so nice of you to take the teens to the movies, don't let one bad experience ruin it for the others.
Have a good day user tomorrow user.
thanks user
>be a therapist
Yeah fucking right, you type like a mentally challenged 14-year-old
>i work with degenerates
>im surprised when they act like degenerates
>i hate mustard.
>gonna get a job at a mustard factory
>hopes are high.
since this is a green text thread, I will add one about me being drunk that is sort of funny in hindsight
>be me, 18
>in South America
>legal is 18
>I was teaching English as a second language as a part of a international program
>went to parties every weekend
>all the corner shops sold alcohol, very unregulated
>was friday and going to a party later
>bought alcohol at a corner shop
>30% but tasted like 10%, it was very sweet and made for mixing
>bought the mickey and was walking towards town (lived outside of town about 30 minute walk)
>Some of my friends say that the party won't be for another hour and a half
>"Well, I'll just drink this mickey now then."
cont
You're not a therapist you're a retarded nigger-faggot.
>drink mickey and think that I will just explore the neighbour hood since I am new to that part of town
>walk for about 30 minutes down the side streets.
>haven't seen many stores, I thought that there would be some but I walked to the residential area
>I needed a store so I could go pee
>was really starting to feel the alcohol now too
>I found some corner shops but they had closed for the night
>I kept walking hoping I could find a store that was open
>I was in a residential area and there was no where to pee
>Still no open stores
>IHaveToGoNow.exe
>quicken my pace
>see another side street that goes up a hill
>there is a small lot of land that is undeveloped
>full of small shrubs and grass
>in between two houses on the street
>go up to the edge of the lot
>check for anyone in their houses
>all lights are off everywhere down the street
>finallyrelief.wav
cont
Ive been there. You suck as an advisor.
>start pissing while really drunk at this point
>feelsgoodman
>holding my dick, I get an idea
>check the houses again
>all lights are off and it is dark out
>start wanking
>in a public place, it was diamonds instantly
>go for a little bit
>keep tabs on the houses, they all stay lights out
>ejaculate.rar
>just then a couple comes walking up that side street from the street I was on before
>they were holding hands and they saw me
cont
>they can't see my face because it is dark where I am
>they are at the corner so there is a lamp post
>they look angry
>drunk me is standing there just holding my dick
>"Fuck"
>I jump into the empty lot
>run to the back of the lot and hide behind some of the shrubs (lot is about 1/4 acre square)
>they are at the place where I just came
>the woman looks disgusted
>the man is looking for me from the street
>the woman pulls out her cell phone
>I knew it was the cops
>behind me is a chain link fence, 8' tall
>I can't see what is on the other side, it looked like another lot, but it was lower down
>climb the fence
>drunk me falls to the other side
>it's a swamp
>my pants are soaked now
cont
>I knew they called the cops on me and now I am pretty much boxed into a swamp with houses to the south and east sides, forming a wall and the to the west, the only chance I have is to the north
>there is a retaining wall of cement bricks with another fence on top
>brick wall is 8' tall, the fence is only 5'
>make my way through the knee high swamp
>drunk me falls over a couple times
>reach the wall and start climbing
>it is super hard because I am really drunk now
>manage to climb the wall and the fence
>just fall to the other side on my back
>I am hurting now, but it grass on that side feels so good, it is about 2 feet tall
>I am in a lot like I was before, but this one did not have shrubs
>I am laying there and I look at the street next to the lot
>I see red and blue lights flashing on the houses
>the cops are rolling by looking for me
>the drunk man that was wanking it in the neighbourhood
>they roll past the lot
>they don't see me since I am in the 2'grass on my back still
> I wait until the lights pass
cont
type faster, you degenerate prick
good no shrek. HURRY IM TIRED!
>I get up and approach the road
>I look for the cops and the couple
>the couple is nowhere to be seen
>the cops keep going down the street, but there is a curve in the road so they don't see me, I just see their lights on the houses
>start running the other way
>I see that the lights are coming back towards me
>have a black leather jacket and dark jeans on, no doubt my description to the cops by the woman
>I take off the jacket and throw it next to a garbage can on the street
>I start walking normally
>I am wearing a white t-shirt, that surprisingly is not dirty (it is a bit wet at the bottom, but you couldn't tell from a car)
>the dark jeans hide the mud and water
>the cops roll by
> I look at them as they do
>they look back at me
>I just look back to the side walk and continue walking
>they drive on
>keep searching for the pervert
>they take a turn down a one way up ahead of me
>I run back and grab the coat
>then run down the street in the same direction I was going before
>I see a park
>if I can make it to the park they cant get me I though
cont
>I make it to the park and I don't see the cops
>I know where I am now
>I see a main road that I have been to before
>I go on that road, it is busy with pedestrians
>There is a nightclub
>I want to go there so that the cops if they go down the road won't see me in my jacket
>go up to the bouncers, they are drinking beer, don't notice I am all wet
>start talking to them to let me in, I don't want to go there since I have a party to go to, I don't want to pay the cover
>make up a story about how I am scoping out clubs for an upcoming party
cont
I do I won’t lit
>they think that is cool and one bouncer shows me around
>I am in there a while
>I say the place is really cool and I keep complimenting it
>the bouncer I was talking to was the owner's son
>invites me outside
>"uh OK"
>Go outside and hang with the bouncers
>getting a little nervous that the cops will see me if they come that way
>the bouncers see that a bit, so they tell me to chill out a bit and hand be a beer
>I am just drinking with the bouncers on the street
>the same cop car comes by, I notice the passenger cop
>passenger cop is looking the other way and only the driver cop sees me
>I don't make eye contact
>they keep moving on
>must have gotten lost in the crowd
In the end I couldn't go to the party because I was all wet and muddy, but I publicly masturbated, rand from the cops, made some friends with club bouncers, and got two free beers.
twas a good night
shit story. KYS
Rand
Therapy is supposed to be confidential. You're a shit therapist and a shit person.
give a good one please
Damn clyde
>30 minutes into the movie I realized he had snuck off
You suck at your job
>hopes are high.
Kek
I work as an orderly at a psych hospital AMA
Go fuck yourself scruffball
How many jacking off do you catch?
oof
There's thousands of alcoholic homeless people in Anchorage who drink hand sanitizer and Listerine to get drunk.
I caught one psychotic guy jacking off doing my rounds (we have to check on patients every 15 mins to make sure they're not trying to hurt or kill themselves)
One time we had an adolescent that was fucked on K2 (that shit will fry your brain and make you psychotic). When he was getting his vital signs taken he grabbed the guys dick (the guy that was taking his vitals is about 6'5 and 300 pounds) this kid clearly had a thing for black guys because he would always try to hit on the black Male orderlys. He became a line of sight (meaning he has to be in our field of vision at all times including bathing and toileting).
Hes on LOS and whenever it's a black Male he'll start to Jack off.
One day I'm working on the adolescent unit, and I'm stuck with him. Its about noon so I'm halfway done with my shift and hes been asleep so I'm thinking I'm in the clear but then around 1 he gets up goes in the shower and just starts jerking off for about 30 mins and I pretty much had to sit there and watch
After that he went back to bed but around 6 he woke up and wanted to leave his room so he could Jack off in the day room where the other patients are. I told him hes not leaving the room and then he asked if he sucked my dick would I let him go out there. I told him if he touched me he was getting dropped and then he reached out and grabbed my dick so I slammed him on the ground and he was knocked out, I put him back in bed and told the incoming shift he was sleeping.
>the rapist