What's the most bizarre thing that ever happened to you?

I once had sex in the missionary position

I meant in terms of the details of the event, like if was he wearing the same clothes as you predicted or if it was just generally the same idea of someone walking out in front of you.

one time I FUCKED A ALLIGATOR IN THE ASS

It's only bizarre if it's for the sake of procreation. The creating people aspect is truly fucked up.

This happened twice on two diffent contients.

I walked into a room filled with men, looking at a girl showing her pussy, she was wet from all the attention, I walked in like a fucking boss pulled the girl out the room and fucked the shit out of her, i mean i fucked them so good that they wouldn't leave me alone.
The first time i was in black club i'm light skinned and i always wear tight pants, i showed the bitch my thick tool, the die was cast.
That bitch game me crab, no probs get shit to get rid of cabs shave everything.

Second time was in the red light district in Holland, girls from all over go there to work as legal prostitutes. This girl was hot as shit, and a whole crowd of men surrounded her, i went through the crowd, pushing men out the way, a few i would feel their hard tiny dicks. On the way though, i grabbed the girl and she said "Oh a confident man," i said you'll see confidence.
We go in the room, close the curtain, pull out my cock and her eyes went wide, she took off her closed and the pussy was wet, i said "You're ready for me, you like big ones" she smiled. I entered her warm moist pussy, went deep and fucked her. Her pussy was so tight i came almost immediately. I said can you wait 5 minutes i'll be ready again and i'll pay you twice.
She said yes and that was her regret, i fucker her hard for 2 hours she said she came so much.

I love fucking girls, prostitutes don't feel anything, but bitches feel every ripple of me.

Go fuck yourself, lover boy fag

I'm an alligator. Some guy fucked me in the ass.

>Fucking attention whoring thots
Enjoy your contribution to discovering a new form of STD.

The moment of premonition was very odd.
I got no visuals or any details of the accident.
I was not thinking about anything, like you can think of your mum and she calls the same .
moment or shit like that.
I just suddenly I got an memory that this afternoon I will have crashed.
I stopped brushing my teeth and wondered how that bullshit came into my head.

If i could i'd never leave the house, so i fucked your mom, and keep going back just so she can soak my cock and pubes with her wetness.

You gotta know that women are just as human as men, they all need loving just like your mom. son.

I have no STD, i'm a fucking man with experience, some bitches want me so bad, they come to house do my laundry and clean my house for that big thick friend. They all need it, even men.

Got raped. Never got over it.

Did you orgasm?

I'm sorry that happened to you, what happened?

>Talks about geting crabs

>I have no STDs

Nigger

This isn't going to help you get over it, but can we get the story?

I'm sorry to hear that user. You ever go to counseling?

Lol ok friend

>be me
>Job is taking care of retarded ppl
>One retarded woman has no impulse control at all
>Be at crowded bus station with her
>Litteraly just left the bathroom
>She decides she needs to pee more
>She pulls down pants to pee with like 30 ppl around
>I have to wrestle her to get her to pull pants back up
>360 walk away like nothing happend

I’m in a relationship with a hot woman on the internet who lives thousands of miles away. I’ve seen her tits and pussy and asshole and she thinks about me while she fucks her husband, and I return the favor.

I was showering with another guy and he started making farting noises by squishing air around in his foreskin.

Crabs isn't a STD you dumb burger bun, Look it up you can clear up crabs.

I think you're a virgin, very little experience. You know sex can be fun and good, Porn is a horrible example of sex. Turn off the porn, and start talking to other people about sex.

No orgasm. Was out drinking with friends, blind drunk, regain consciousness being forcefully face fucked, no idea where I am. Pass back out, wake up in some dingy delivery alley covered in puke, spit and cum, walk home, feel numb.

other than being born?

seriously, that's some bizarre shit right there.

It's true, my lady friends are passionate, American woman are possessive. I enjoy giving orgasm.

They always come to look for me.

>she fucks her husband, and I return the favor.
When you fuck your husband or when you fuck her husband?

cool story bro

Oh, i'm so sorry to hear that, you can love again you know. Those idiot that did this to you did you identify them?

lolz

>Get spitted in mouth
>In a fight

>Was out drinking with friends, blind drunk

that was smart.

I think about her when I fuck my wife.

I'll be honest with you all Yea Forums. I was born, that was pretty out there. One thing I was just minding my own business then poof- fucking existence man. Craziest thing by far.

I know the feeling user. I too have to wear glasses.

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Lost time. I've woken up in weird places a few times all confused. Usually many years apart but it happened recently

White shirt, jeans.. I went and got checked, no sti’s but never spoke about it until years later.

Some times you should just let them go.

I use to be a Councillor at one of those places the teen boys use to masturbate so much, and the girls use to watch them. and show their vaginas. It was discussing.

U think ur edgy but my own psyche has been way harder on me than your shitpost

you a guy or girl?

Spooky. How much time do you lose? What do you do while you're 'lost'?

i succeeded, despite smoking weed everyday.

How can we help? Do you have trouble with your own relationships because of this?

That's not a nice thing to call a women!

I have no idea wtf that means, but...

It *was* pretty fucking stupid. You didn't deserve it, but I hope you understand how this contributed to the event.

Be safe and use your head.

I’ve loved since, twisted thing is I’m actually thankful I was so drunk that all I remember is a brief moment of it.

Went to war. Killed someone.

>Look mom, I
>can greentext
>to

Don't listen to your brain, it will heal in time. You have to move on so you can love again. You need a hug?

Yeah, im pretty liberal guy. I only stop them when they do things that could hurt themself or public indecensy or whater.

Guy

Favourite story from the last thread:
Just moved to Houston in the spring of 96. Out jogging late due to insomnia around 1 am in Sugarland.

I hear several Blackhawks and Apaches. I know exactly what I'm hearing, I worked on them in the Army. Suddenly I hear 3 heavy explosions. I know they are demolition charges. Then a rocket, AT-4 and explosion. Then a heavy exchange of belt fed gunfire and small arms fire.

The sound of a Blackhawk turning towards me, moving fast but slowing down, really low.. It scrapes the border trees of the golf course and jogging trail I'm on.. Holy shit, it's an emergency landing.

It sets down a bit rough, but intact. The pilot is badly injured, the birds been shot to shit. Right engine gone, servo control cluster above pilots tore up and burning, over a dozen bullet holes visible around cockpit. Whoever took them down knew their shit. Pilot has one in his right thigh. Copilot is shaking.. I open the pilots door, I yell at the copilot I'm a medic and I need his help to help the pilot. He nods, jumps out and comes around to help, he was already shutting it down.
We get him out, stabilize him with direct pressure on the artery. No other injury.

Another Blackhawck sets down, MH version, a bunch of guys come out. Ones a medic, he sees what I'm doing and we go to work, me telling him no other injuries and we get a tourniquet on.

He tells the others to get him in the other bird, they all get in pushing me back and close the doors, but don't take off. They signal me to go away. I go back to the jogging trail, covered in blood.

Sherrif deputies show up. They are freaked out and have no idea what's happening. They drew on me when they saw the blood. I explained my part.

News reports it was an unannounced training exercise on an abandoned school building.

Yeah it’s caused loads of trouble in my relationships

fag?

Bifag

Another story from the last thread:
>Working as an on-call engineer in UK
>One night driving back home (still 100+ miles to go) I have to pull over to have a piss
>park up by some bushes next to a public phone box
>Taking piss
>Phone box starts ringing. weird.jpg
>Walk back to car - think fuk it and just answer the phone
>other end of phone is Sam who works at our head office: "Hi user just checking you got the jobs done ok this evening?"
>Thefuck.cnt?
>"Sam what are you doing calling me on a phone box that I just happened to be passing - is this a joke"
>"What do you mean, user? I'm calling your mobile (cell)!"
>"Nope my mobile is in the car. you just rang me on a public telephone box and I'm in the middle of driving home"
>Sam: "Oh wait, user. I didn't call your mobile number I just dialled your employee number by mistake."
>Coldsweat.png
>We still can't believe how the fuck the universe isn't playing games with us.

Were you bi before the rape?

You're edge lord, the master of stupid. You can't understand because part of your brain can't relate. It's true and you know it. Some times you don't understand why people laugh at jokes and you wonder why you don't understand. It's because your brain damage.

It's OK, you can't relate, being on the spectrum isn't a death sentence.

figures.

let me guess, you were walking home drunk as fuck from a gay bar?

I have a wife. That's all I need.

Enjoy the AIDS.

>believing this

Usually about an hour. When I was 14 I walked out of a hotel in the middle of the night and woke up down the road by the woods. I was confused and thought I was naked. I walked back to the hotel and knocked on the door and Mom was like wtf why are you outside. I'm 33 now. I was walking home from the bar, drunk, but a walk I know very well and it's usually 20 mins walk. I woke up three miles the wrong direction hour later, confused, emotional. Like being drugged but I don't think I am

I'm a man who love's a load of women, I have a lot of lady friends, sometimes you just need to trust again, right?

Yeah

Also I don't know what I do. But this last time I lost my hat in the experience. It's super cold here so I was scared I was so far from home and my phone was dead bc of the cold

No, I was just out with my friends from school

>believing this either

None of what you said resonates, sorry.

Clearly I've touched a nerve.

The point remains: don't put yourself at risk. Bad shit happens when you drink like a retard in bars full of predatory fags.

You're mad because you know it's true.

Sorry this happened to you, though :/

I do my date chicks, dudes are just some fun for me. Just when I get into bad headspace I can be very closed off and distrusting of what people think or assume. I always second guess people’s motives when they’re kind to me.. it’s wreaked havoc in my personal life

Hot. Do i know you? Are you Australian? Sounds like a situation im in.

shit nigga. where? Iraq? Afghanistan?

That guy actually answered all the questions I would try to catch him on and kept giving details. I believe it as much as any other story I can't confirm.

Mali. Frenchfag here.

Did a tour in afghanistan in 2008 tho.

I don't actually believe that one because of the use of miles instead of kilometers.

Are you going to post anything or just sit here nitpicking everything?

It's called PTSD, Post traumatic stress disorder, even though the body heals the brain tends to bring us back time and time again.
You should get some counseling, It helped me tremendously. My confidence is back, I can date again and my love life is much better now.

Gotcha. I went to Iraq in 2007, but no kills for me :/

American Veteran here, Did the government offer help with PTSD?

Luck you :)
What unit?

Yeah I’m going to, Ive literally stopped functioning recently :(

The first time may have been you sleep walking, and the other time could have been a common black out from the drinking. I would be much more worried if it happened sober, but losing clothing in the bitter winter is obviously pretty unsafe.

Lots of people who skip time think they are being abducted by aliens. Most of them have suffered some type of brain injury in the past.

I didn't have PTSD, but they have psychologists available. I spoke to one a few times, but he pretty much told me to bugger off because I was taking up time from people who actually needed it.

I sometimes have nightmares about it, but it doesn't interfere too much with life. Only happens a few times a year. Think about it every day, though.

I really enjoyed working with Americans during my OPEX in afghanistan, btw. As far as I'm concerned, Americans, Brits, Aussies and French are the only ones out there who actually want to fight.

Therapy is really good. Everyone needs an outlet for that shit so you can function in regular life. I'm very thankful for therapy

Did you go to war thinking that killing someone wouldn't be too bad, or did you hope never to be deployed?

Nice yeah it needs to be done

Neither. I went in prepared to do it, but hoping I wouldn't have to.

I don't regret it. Jihadists are not people I care to see breathing. Killing just isn't pretty.

Well what's weird is I have some alien fear shit from being a kid, I used to think I was abducted. But yeah Everytime it happens it can usually be explained with sleep walking. Waking up in different rooms or outside. The hotel one was very weird for me. The drunk one too bc my Google timeline tracks me and the route and time marked is super odd. But could be explained with phone shutting off due to cold. Bleh whatever. Couple times was camping or on road trip and lost about an hour. But it's fuckin impossible to prove. That's why I keep the Google tracker on now. But -15 shuts the phone down I guess

I had a friend with an Xbox that would apparently duplicate game discs. After playing he would go to put the game back in the case only to find another one already there. It happened multiple times.

One time he ended up with three fucking discs of the same game.

My Kinect cam picks up other energies. I think they all do. Infrared

btw where did you deploy?

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Not that I believe in it, but alien abductions usually are centred around missing time in the same location. They would have to be pretty incompetent to leave you somewhere else.

Maybe get an MRI scan done and see if there's anything up. It's a shame there's not much else you can do about it besides track your location. Maybe set up a voice recorder and get in the habit of talking aloud about what you are doing and why.

youtube.com/watch?v=-QDnB6dMAb0

This you?

I got robbed at gunpoint in 1994, but the story isn't about that.
>Several weeks after the robbery a 21 year old female started hanging around at the place where I worked.
>She wasn't annoying or anything, she was just there.
>I asked her why she would choose to hang around a gas station at night.
>She muttered and mumbled something incoherent and blushed like crazy, then ran away for a while.
>I just left her alone after that, figured she was just crazy.
>Weeks go by and she is around.
>Finally, she asks me a coherent question.
>Were you scared when that guy robbed you?
>Yeah, he had a gun.
>He was my neighbor
>I'm sorry.
>Yeah, me too. He liked to rape me.
>Um... did you call the cops?
>No, I really like it.
>So you let him have sex with you?
>No, He had to rape me for it to feel good.
>I think you should talk to somebody about that.
>I am, right now.
>But I am not a counselor.
>I don't want a shrink, I want you to rape me.
>???????
>I'm horny.
>Let me call my boss and tell him I gotta leave then.
>He can rape me too, if he wants. Never had 2 guys rape me.
>Ok.
>Call the police.
>There's a lady here who wants me to rape her.
>Is this a joke sir.
>m'am, you but cigarettes from me every night(The cop shop was a block away).
>Oh, yeah. I'll send somebody over.
>Just walk over, a car will spook her.
Well, they did have a lady cop walk over in street clothes. We all sat and talked just like people do. The girl got some mental health help and that asshole that robbed me got 12 more years for forcible rape of a minor because his sexual misadventures with her had been going on since she was 15.

heh yep, Operation Serval.

I've seen the french version of that documentary. it's pretty good.

took an ultra fucking macro pic of a trichome and now everyone posts it every day on Yea Forums! crazy right?

are you a girl

In the drunk experience, I had left a video message to my friends just before it and was competent. I've thought about it voice thing too, might start doing it at night. I had brain scans in my teens bc of migraines but they never found anything weird.

I'm considering going to war myself and I don't know how I'd do with it. I know I think a lot differently than anyone I've ever met but I'm not sure whether or not killing someone would mess me up.

You're an idiot

I have been scrombled

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I discovered this Web site called "Four Chan."

I guess that's a happy ending. I was walking with a girl once through the woods once and she, out of the blue, said "I really wouldn't mind if I was raped right now". Before that point, she seemed fairly normal to me. A few years later she tried to turn into a man and she takes naked fat positivity selfies to post online so she was batshit after all.

>Look mon, i
>can be
>a newfag
>too

nights sweats, bad dreams, are you isolating yourself because no one understands? That's PTSD, find a veterans group, don't listen to idiots. Find and get help we vets should stick together no matter what country we fight on.

Yep, she's white.

I found Yea Forums

How are you today?

>I'm considering going to war myself
Considering enlisting? or do you mean you may get deployed?

There's no way of knowing ahead of time whether or not it will mess you up.

What's for sure is that you'll be able to do it. It's a bit cliché, but you don't think when you kill. It just happens because you just go through the motions you trained.

Expect to feel hyper-focused when under fire and then completely elated if you individually and personally kill. It's normal. The fact that you "enjoy" it for that brief moment doesn't make you a monster. It's just the flip-side of fearing for your life.

Expect to be horrified if/when you're confronted with your work. Nobody really talks about it but the rush of "winning" is real, and it doesn't make you a bad person.

If you deploy, I really hope you just sit around being bored. A boring war is a good war.

I like fucking ugly blind people by telling them they are very pretty

k

Or you could just smoke weed and put the PTSD to bed, but if you wanna take jew lobotomy suicide pills go for it

>I like fucking ugly blind people by telling them they are very pretty
Jokes on you

>nights sweats, bad dreams, are you isolating yourself because no one understands

No, once or twice a year, and no.

It's not PTSD. I went to see the shrink anyway, and he confirmed that these are perfectly normal reactions.

Please don't pretend to know what you're talking about.

You can get an app that records sound but skips over the silence. I've used it before to figure out if I was talking in my sleep.

I think you can set the threshold level too so that it will only record louder sounds like talking.

There is no way you took that photo and I'm the only person who posts it here, I think.

Not exactly enlisting. It's more of... my country has problems that won't be fixed peaceably.

>Going through the motions
Skinerian psychology, I know.

>A boring war is a good war
I agree, but if this one comes to fruition, it probably wouldn't be a calm war.

I know I keep thinking about it but it freaks me out like what if I hear other voices I'll never be able to sleep again. I'm a freak

>Improves the self confidence of blind people.
Wholesome post.

I walked into a friend's apartment and his girlfriend was doing two guys on the front room floor, neither of them were he. He walked out of the bedroom naked and said hi. The girlfriend asked if I wanted a blowjob. The guy who just nutted in her throat said she sucked a good cock. Maybe later. My friend led me out to the kitchen so we could talk our business(weed), and another walked in from the back yard. She was wearing flip flops, and nothing else. Hey there, you wanna blow job. What is it with sex and blow jobs here. If you want sex I gotta pee first. Go pee. She ran off with a grin. I asked my friend what gives, he said it was little girl day, and the girls were earning their allowance. 100 bucks for every sex act. The women were about 2500 bucks up, each. Yeah, I noped the fuck out a there.

>Skinerian psychology, I know.

That's only half of it. There's definitely some interesting cognitive stuff going on too, especially after the kill. The point is: don't worry about freezing and not knowing what to do -- modern training is really good at getting people to shoot back.

>I agree, but if this one comes to fruition, it probably wouldn't be a calm war.

Where are you from, if you don't mind my asking? Fingers crossed for a happy resolution.

I'm glad you came home safe bro. I was deployed in Gulf war, Iraq 2, I was so messed up for so long.
Now my brothers in arms have helped me so much. You should join a Veterans group. they do help.

why is he an idiot?

i used to see shadow people regularly and i can read people's auras.

i probably just have some weird disorder, but it makes me believe in a spiritual existence

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Personally i think you're full of shit. You don't know when you go.

Maybe you should enlist go infantry. That would liven you up fool.

I fuckin see shadow shit too. I try to ignore it

It's like five chan but one less.

I'm still in touch with a lot of those guys, happily married, kid on the way.

All good, here, but your kind words are appreciated.

Which unit did you serve with? I take it you were in the shit too?

dmt.

I don't want to say exactly, because our government gets pretty liberal with the label "terrorist," but it's big, and it's western. You can probably guess.

Smoking weed can be the worst thing to do, It's a temporary solution to a long term problem can lead to COPD and getting fat from being hungry.

Get help first, then smoke weed for fun.

He said he was worried about a draft. Doesn't seem too unbelievable.

Probably. Can you read my aura from there? What is it like?
It's actually fairly common for your brain to create things that aren't there while trying to fill in information from what it cannot see well.

A good example of this is standing in front of a mirror in the dark with just a bit of light on your face. If you stare the same spot, your face will morph.

The US isn't going to war. You can relax.

Draft is kind of a good thing bc the public reacts by fighting war. Protesting. Being involved. We've lost interest in protecting soldiers bc were like aw fuck it you signed up and get the benefits if you live

Yep. Can't trust shit haha

Joe Rogan, begone.

The us has been at war, and is still prepping for war as we speak. My buddy in the natl guard just got called for some shit in kuwait

I spent the a good 10 years in the US Army, Been deployed twice in each was auto reenlisted 4 times, Was in Panama, Iraq, Kuwait, trust me it's a normal reaction to a shit situation but it can linger. Talk to other veterans. Take it or leave it. Just advice from another veteran.

>We've lost interest in protecting soldiers bc were like aw fuck it you signed up and get the benefits if you live

This makes no sense. The general trend has been the exact opposite. There's an *extreme* amount of care/money that goes into protecting soldiers. Way more than in any past war.

got raped by a nigger when I was 7

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Revolution. Plenty of people are mad about the status quo, and our government has proven itself incapable of ensuring the rights of the citizenry.

Either it will happen, or we will all be slaves.

They're low-intensity conflicts. Nobody is gearing up for another iraq. That's what I meant.

That's going to be one big yike from me.

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Much appreciated, and I've already done so.

Like I said in a previous post, I'm stable, happily married, kid on the way, good job, and doing quite well.

I think it's perfectly normal to think of things like this every day. It's a pretty big deal, after all. It's not really degrading my quality of life :)

ha ha ha... nice

You watch too much tv, mate.

i try to tune them out as much as i can but im always hyper aware of them lurking. i've talked to a priest about it, and he said he's seen them as well. I'm just scared that when i die, i'll become one. seems like a fate worse than hell

nah, i can only see them on people. it's like a wave of energy surrounding people about 2-3 inches off their bodies. they are different colors, and usually it reflects how they are feeling. like, when you walk into a room and can feel the tension, i can also see it i guess.

Not true my friend. Most of the public has no clue what's going on with soldiers and war. Last time the public gave a shit was Vietnam. In 2001 we were pushing for war, not fighting it. The us is sleeping through 17 years of war right fuckin now

I think we will take over Venezuela next

I don't watch TV. I talk to people, and I read. The people who are mad are really mad. We just hide it when we're in public.

You won't become them. When you die, be confident and follow the light. You'll be good. They are failed energy remnants imo

Yeap, Gulf war 24th ID / So many POW's burned up the place, none of the shit you guys saw.
Like one of the vietnam vets said to me "When the killing starts..." Yeah i was in the shit. Wasn't nice for me.

But i'm ok, kids are grown, selling my home soon going an vacations around the country soon, just to get away.

The public may have lost interest (was that your point?) but the technicalities of war have unambiguously moved towards better survivability of soldiers. This is due to the tremendous investments in protective gear, materiel and tactics.

In military circles, never has a greater shit been given about the infantryman.

Glad to hear you're ok.

Oh sure I see that for sure! The military is hella funded. Even my natl guard dude has amazing new gear every year. I just meant as far as the public not wanting their boys to fight in war etc. Now it's like a job they signed up for. In a draft ppl are like wtf

I lost my virginity to a female celebrity commonly featured in the top 10 best looking women in the world.

TLDR: Working as a bussboy for an wedding, hit it off with a slightly tipsy celebrity.
I'm a normal guy, pretty much a manlet, ok looking newfag etc.
I was probably at the right place at the right time. She was amazing, actually very cool about the whole situation and even dropped me home to my mom's house the next morning.
The greatest downside, there is no way anyone will believe me. I know, right now you don't believe me. Sometimes I don't even believe that it happened.

thanks user. i always felt they were just incomplete souls, which i think is the same thing tbh

Kirlian photography is an interesting rabbit hole to consider with these traces. I think your own mental belief system is your power, you'll be good

ask for real tangible evidence of who/why/where. actually get it

Roger that. I never forget the smell.

>But i'm ok, kids are grown, selling my home soon going an vacations around the country soon, just to get away.

If ever you feel like visiting France, I'm happy to give you a tour of Nîmes. I really enjoyed working with US army in afghanistan. I'll say it again: only people there who actually want to fight are you, us, brits & aussies.

It wasn't Jennifer Lawrence, was it? I have a feeling she has fucked hundreds of men, even after becoming famous.

"his singing voice is OK"

She is a white, lady in her early 30s, with the reputation of being in quirky romantic comedies. Not a slut.
As I said, she struck me as a sweet, genuine lady so I don't want to name and shame.

me and my ex used to stare at each other really close up for 15 minutes at a time and at the time it felt romantic but looking back it was just straight odd. Also I went to get edibles from as friend and I went to the wrong car and the guy in the car was also selling drugs and he gave me a dime bag for the money I had on me and I was so confused because I didn't recognize him and he didn't recognize me but I was getting nervous so I took the dime bag and gave him the money anyways BUT THEN my actual plug showed up and he was confused too but apparently him and the other guy were friends for some reason and sorted it out and I gave back the dime bag and got my edibles

Hmmm...So he was behind that...?

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Was this reply to anyone or are you just writing cryptic shit here?

Fucking dying dude

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I got struck by lightning. It was fucked. No superpowers and none of those cool Lichtenberg scars.

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>When you're so boring that not even acts of God can liven things up

Next time write lotto numbers on windscreen in magic marker.

Did it hurt?

>God
now who's boring user

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Wat

it burnt the bottom of my foot. the bolt hit the steel electrical conduit going into the house and I was in the basement (worst tornado/lightning storm in my life) and luckily all the appliances in the house and fuses blew, the bolt arced our of the conduit into my leg and went into the ground via my socked foot. if it hit me above the waist i could have died. i think i'm lucky that all the appliances absorbed much of the damage before it got down to where i was

lol nigger what the shit
I stopped reading halfway but this is some of the most juvenile looking shitpost i’ve ever read you goddamn illiterate porch monkey
Drop that ole english bottle and go back to school to become the Schoolboibutt Q faggot you were meant to be you goddamn magnificient faux chimpanzee of the modern times you
Go pop some Modafinil up the anus or something

Took 20 Benadryl pills to trip one night, was alright would do it again if I didn’t think it was horrible for my brain. But the next night and following 7 months I’d hallintate when I’d smoke weed, not like crazy schizophrenic hallucinations but like the shit you see from edibles but from like 3 puffs of weed. Even would taste colors but I needed tl he super high for that. Was nice while it lasted, I still have some visuals from time to time.

Yeah, it's really electricity crossing the heart that will kill you. It can basically put your heart out of sync and you won't be able to do anything but wait for your death unless you get to a defib within a few minutes.

I guess you received a good lesson in electrical safety. Even with household current, a shock can contract your muscles so hard that you won't be able to let go of whatever electric object you are touching. You're fucked at that point and very quickly it becomes lethal.

>What is it with sex and blow jobs here.
>If you want sex I gotta pee first.
lol

Wise words mate, also, I do a lot of work for charity, but I don't like to talk about it.

I've had some very strong feelings of déjà vu during certain situations. In some occasions this was so intense that, while I was in the middle of it, I was able to guess exactly what was about to happen next. This occurs once every couple of months. Anyone else ever have this happen to them regularly?

>inb4 "glitch in the Matrix" reference

Sounds like you're describing Zooe Deschanel.

I've had this as a kid, I used to routinely guess the numbers people would say when they paused to think of it for a second. Stopped happening when I got older

>be me
>be about 4 years ago
>be on LiveLeak
>reading comments
>see website I’ve never heard of
>seems ominous the way people were talking about it
>enter info into address bar
>Yea Forums.org
>life altered permanently
Fuck me there is no escape... I can’t imag what this place used to be like and I don’t think I want to.

thanks again friend, now i'm going down that rabbit hole

once..... o.p. wasn't a faggot.

the healthy path forward is to work your way away from Yea Forums and find a home board of interest, in my case that would be /p/, /out/, and /diy/

you can't purge the 'chan completely from your DNA but you can make the best of it without marinating in this shit board forever

I don’t think it works that way.

How long did it take for you to make the guy cum?

Bones grow, just like trees, so in a way yes they are alive.

One time I was pulled from the void and morphed into a single entity from the insides of two separate people. I also grew from being a centimeter in size to 6 feet. insane.

Alligators have cloacas so you’re a fuckin liar.

Kek
Samefag I’m sure but have a very well deserved (You).

Also you have a cloaca so you’re a fuckin liar.

Wow you’re cool.

Well played user.

Phone rings about 4 am.
There's a phone beside the bed, but being drowsy as fuck, I stumble into front room to answer that phone.
Halfway across room, I notice my pillow is stuck to the side of my head.
Try to pull pillow off face, but it won't budge.
Try hard as I can, but can't get pillow off face.
Phone won't stop ringing. Pillow won't budge.
Fucking near panicking. Fuck you phone.
Tell my brain to calm the fuck down and analyze possible reasons for pillow to be bonded to face.
Then I wake up again. Still in bed. Sleeping on side.
Arm under pillow. Trying to pull pillow away but just pushing arm harder into mattress.
Phone rings about 3 more times before I figure out what the fuck is going on.
Answer phone. Can't even remember who it was, just that they called for no particular reason.

Not the rape victim user but
>None of what you said resonates
How now brown cow you aren’t fooling anyone except yourself. You are clearly on the spectrum. Social cues and what’s acceptable behavior obviously alludes you.

Hey man please think about getting some therapy. I had a pretty fucked childhood and I’m pretty at peace friend. We got to face our demons. It will get better if you work at it.

Learn to read dumbshit.

You're a good guy user. You facilitated getting that girl some proper help instead of being a pussyfaggot going for ez trash sex. Good man.

>Taking drugs to cure mental illness
Oh yes. You’re showing those pharmaceutical companies aren’t you?

How about dealing with fucking problems rather than taking a pill or smoking weed?

I feel dumber for having read this

>not wanting to get your dick covered in strange cum and and STI’s
What are you a fuckin Mormon?

>steel conduit
Where in the fuck do you live that they use conductive metal for conduit?

I scored out of state tags for blacktail deer several years ago for Washington State and seen Bigfoot next to creek in Olympic National Forest. And later that night pebbles and sticks were thrown at our camp and tents. Does that count as bizarre? Them fucking things exist I tell ya

Lived in a one room basement apt. 2 am hear door knob turning. It's locked. "Who is it?" No answer. Reach over bed to turn on light. Light doesn't go on. Grab flashlight. It goes on and starts dimming. Quickly go to door and shine it out window. See one of the "grays" looking at me. Pass out/faint. Wake up at sunrise on top of my bed.
Real? Dream?
I don't know.
Still kinda freaks me out when I think about it.

You aren’t as funny or creative as you think you are.

God shut the fuck up. Nobody cares besides the lonely dork you're talking to

Saw either a comet reenter the atmosphere in the middle of the day or a legit UFO, no idea what else it could have been. Completely blue sky, a super bright point of light that expanded to about the size of the moon, and slowly faded away.

Attached: 1514669553800.jpg (574x471, 163K)

>Be me
>It was the first day of summer, and I just passed my second year of high school.
>A bunch of people I knew wanted to go camping in the canyon near my house.
>We walked for about twenty minutes till they found a good spot to camp.
>I sat there for a few hours, waiting for one of my friends who was suppose to bring the weed.
>By the time he arrived it was night.
>Once he sat down I noticed he had a new bong, witch he then passed to me.
>Witch confused me because I didn’t see anyone take a hit out of it yet.
>But I didn’t care, free weed.
>I rip the whole bowl. It looked like two, maybe three dollars worth of weed.
>Next thing I know I black out.
>I don’t think it was very long, since I woke up in the same spot.
>When my vision came to, everything looked gloomy, and something was slowly pushing me.
>I try to look behind me. I couldn’t move my head, but I could see a tree.
>I notice I’m sitting on a thin line. Beneath me nothing but darkness.
>Next to me I see a hole. I still couldn’t move and was quickly approaching it.
>I reach the hole within a couple of seconds and fall.
>As the people I was with quickly disappear, all I could see was darkness.
>Like if you where in a movie theater. Overcome by how big the screen is, sitting on nothing but air.
>I only fell for sixteen seconds. But as I fell , I could still see all the darkness I fell through.
>Everything but the people I was with.
>I Start to slow down and hit the bottom.

>I sat there for about two seconds, suddenly two heads appeared.
>One of the heads gasps and they shine down a beam of gloomy light to pull me up.
>I zip up like I was the end of a tape measure.
>It only takes about two second for my reality to return to normal.
>I then rise like I have awoken from a nightmare.
>I look at the hole that’s quickly closing behind me and laugh to myself.
>Making a joke about not letting your back drop.
>I notice everyone I'm with is staring at me.
>One of them asks me if I liked it.
>He asks me about six times before I could answer.
>When I finally answer I tell him yes,because there was only one thing on my mind.
>How good it felt being pulled up.

while i was at my aunt's place
family visiting for holidays, funny because i cant even remember why we visited
i was alone outside
it was very sunny, nice day and all
aunt's place has a first floor and second floor patio
underneath the second patio, there was a nest
it had three baby birds in it
they knew that there was danger, somehow
don't they usually sense food coming?
maybe the mother bird had a tune for them, so they'll recognize the mother
nothing sparked joy
nothing sparked anger
nothing sparked sadness
i felt nothing at all, but i took a pair of scissors
i cut each one of their heads
i dont why i did it, but just did
i didnt feel anything
of course, this wasnt the first time that i hurt or killed animals
big or small, no animal is safe around me
i got caught once, but i was very little and i cant even remember killing a hamster. my aunt hamster
but i was a good amount of time ago, the one with the birds was only a few years ago
i dont always look back to the killings
but it's bizarre to me that i felt nothing
and it's even more bizarre that i did them
because if i had nothing to gain or lose
from doing it
then why do i do it
and for people to see me as an everyday friend
or an everyday stranger
a classmate
a customer
a team member
a person

oh well

you did dmt. not correctly tho

>not the user you’re talking to but
clearly you care faggot.

You serious?

>typing it all out like this but not green texting
God you’re an insufferable faggot of the highest order.

>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

faggot

Sleep paralysis.

This is the text version of someone talking during a movie

>life itself is only a vision
>a dream
>nothing exist
>but empty space
>and you
>if there was an all powerful god
>he would have made all good
>and no bad

what even is that picture? looks like a leech eating a green dick

>You’re showing those pharmaceutical companies aren’t you?
Yes, he would be seeing as they're not profiting from it and you can grow cannabis for very little money. There are a few natural drugs that are effective for PTSD.

Just 'dealing with your problems' isn't a fucking PTSD treatment. People with it literally have a damaged brain.

It's a trichome from a cannabis plant.

>People with it literally have a damaged brain.
So you smoke weed for that? I understand pharmaceutical companies are anti weed because they can’t make money from it. Not my point.

People are fucking retards about weed. It’s like a godamn snake oil cure all. It is absolutely medicine for some things. And yes it should absolutely be legal for any use an adult sees fit and yes it’s far better than alcohol.

But saying someone with PTSD should just smoke a bowl because “PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES ARE EVIL MAAAANNN!!” is dumb as shit.

Awh FUCK yeah nigga, heall yeah motherfucker

Shes like, 40

I had sleep paralysis a couple of times as a kid. one time while I was paralyzed I saw a strobing figure float next to by bed.when I say strobing I mean the figure was made of flashing light but it was not illuminating the room and it was In a human figure. I slept on the top bunk of a bunk bed. I would have been impossible for someone to get to the level of my bed. when I woke up from the sleep paralysis I was totally freaked out and praying to jesus. never have had sleep paralysis since

oh shit nigga who was it? what colors did it have?

A lot of people find cannabis helpful for PTSD. It's currently being studied by MAPS, which has also done research into treatments with mushrooms and MDMA and found very conclusive evidence to the point where they may end up getting some of these drugs FDA approved. The studies show they're that some of these drugs are more effective than any other available treatment, which is great because currently there's very little you can do to help people with PSTD.

maps.org/research/mmj/marijuana-us
>PTSD should just smoke a bowl because “PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES ARE EVIL MAAAANNN!!” is dumb as shit.
They're actually right in this situation.

So what did he think really happened?

He didn't really know what that event was about, but he thought there could have been government infighting during the 90s and a failed coop that was never made public.

I wouldn't be surprised if they pull some of the military out off books to fight the cartels in the area. That was my guess.

You ever do it again?

Ok well the problem is many of these people are looking for reasons to just get high. Acid has been shown to help alcoholics from relapsing. It doesn’t mean every alcoholic should drop acid.

The original post was someone telling someone else to just smoke weed when they aren’t a fucking doctor and they know nothing about the person they are talking to.

If you want to tell random people on Yea Forums that say they have PTSD to just smoke weed you’re an asshole and all the citations you post won’t change that.

My boyfriend got me drunk then raped me

How far away was the Bigfoot

Whoah I never considered that, that’s pretty fucked

On meds?

Chill bro. They're won't be a race war. Libs are too pussy to instigate, and conservatives don't want to waste the ammo.

>It doesn’t mean every alcoholic should drop acid.
It means that drug supported psychotherapy is something that they should look into if they're not getting what they want out of their current treatment. No treatment for anything is for everyone.
>The original post was someone telling someone else to just smoke weed when they aren’t a fucking doctor and they know nothing about the person they are talking to.
Who cares? It's Yea Forums, that person basically made a post saying 'you should try cannabis, it helped me'. No one is going to get hurt over that. He isn't going to end up homeless from trying cannabis. It's not the equivalent to telling him to do something dangerous.
>If you want to tell random people on Yea Forums that say they have PTSD to just smoke weed you’re an asshole and all the citations you post won’t change that.
That wasn't me but I can clearly see that you're more the asshole in this situation because you upset at a claim that is actually scientifically supported and you refuse to just let it go.

>Based on cross-country data from Statistics Canada, the observational study by researchers at the British Columbia Centre for Substance Use shows that Canadians with PTSD who use medicinal cannabis are 60 per cent to 65 per cent less likely to have major depressive episodes or thoughts of suicide compared with those who do not treat their symptoms with medical marijuana. The study is the first national-scale indication of the effectiveness of cannabis at mitigating the hallmark symptoms of PTSD.
theglobeandmail.com/canada/article-medicinal-cannabis-use-can-help-mitigate-symptoms-of-ptsd-study-says/

That was to:
I'm out.

>We just hide it
>We

Antifa detected.

Cry some more, libfag. You won't do shit.

how?

Yea Forums has tamed down for fucking sure.. almost a normie place anymore.

try taking clozapine and see if that disappears

Report back with any findings!

I had a dream while in high school where I was in class as usual, and suddenly there was a flash outside the room. Everyone stopped immediately and turned towards the door. A rumbling grew quicker and louder and there was not even a second to hear our screams. It all happened so fast, and I was gone. I felt some pull of life from me, but just for an instant. I thought, oh god, I'm fuckin dead now, this is it, and woke up sharply, in a sweat. I realize a strange dream isnt exactly a bizarre experience, but a vivid one like that really sticks.

Slightly fewer nudes BUT more CP and FBI lol

Op started being a faggot during moot? Or after? Cannot recall