Sup Yea Forums who here had severe problems with social anxiety and how did you get back on track if you did?

Sup Yea Forums who here had severe problems with social anxiety and how did you get back on track if you did?
Ill add a story in the replys.
Im so deep into this shit that its really messing with my mind on a daily basis.. i just cant sleep normally anymore and just think straight overall.
I just really need to get this shit out of me and get back on track... every word in the story is written by me and generally about me.. so no nothing is made up..

Attached: Screenshot_20190307-071422_Chrome.jpg (458x211, 51K)

So ive been depressed for a few years now.. never knew what this feeling was until i found out.. it was getting worse every day.. alot of students in primary school bullied me and its where it all began.. i lost the trust in strangers.. ff im now in high school in the first 2 years it was more or less the same.. it took me more than a year to start talking to someone in my class even tho no one knew me and i didnt know anyone but still it was a big problem for me to talk with someone..
I did find another guy here thats from the same town and later on he did get me into something im not really sure if im regretting it or not.. as i had both fun and alot of happy days just like bad and depressed days out of it..
So ff the last year began, its the first month and this guys gf has prom this year... and ofc a school mate of hers needed a dance partner.. so she said to his bf (this guy i know) if he knows anyone and he said he knows someone... so he told me about it when he already said im the one without me saying if ill be really going.
So yeah he told me about it and well it took me 5 fking days to message this girl with a simple message. He was bugging me every day that i shuld message her etc.. But i just couldnt do it.. i couldnt message her due to me being scared of others opinion about me and just not findkng the right words. But yeah the day came when i hit sent to that message..

And this is where the journey began..
So we talked for a bit got on well and later i decided that we should meet before the first dance lession started.. so that it wouldnt be too awkward too see each other on the first dance lession for the first time..
So we set the date and for the whole week ive been banging my head what do we talk about and generally how it will all happen.. ive been in contact with this guys gf so she told me a bit about her and helped me alot. I googled around everything.. but i guess that comes when you have never been in a relationship before and you dont know what to really do. But yeah i planned out every possible outcome to the conversation that i could imagine. But thats how i am i cant do anything if i dont plan it out.
Later before we met i found out she was asking this guys gf about me as well.. so she kinda was our middle man... and at the time i found it kinda funny that she felt the same way as i did...
So we met up went to a fancy cafe.. it was a recommendation by this guys gf.. so thats where we went.. in the end we talked for almost 6 hours and i still believe it went well.. i took her to the bus station afterwards as it would have took her an hour just to get there and she needed than to wait half an hour for her bus to arrive but i dropped her off right on time so she cought one bus to her home.. so i dropped her off and went home..

Later that night i found out not by her but from again this guys gf that she thinks im a pretty cool guy.. those words hit my fkin heart hard af.. she also sent me screenshots of most of their convo.. but yeah i was glad she felt that way about me. And that shit boosted my self confidence.
So ff some time we are all going togeather to the dance lessions and damn that feeling was nice beeing around someone and just generally holding her and just laughing at each other as we couldnt dance well..
Ff some time and we made some plans during the weekend all from where we will go to when ill pick her up.. like everything.. But in the end her family made some plans last minute and she had to go with them and it all never happened the never even knew she had plans with me and never had the courage to tell them.. So we just agreed we will go next time... ff a month i asked her for that weeks friday if it was ok with her.. she said she has some plans but she might go with me and she will let me know in a couple of days.. later on the next day she told me she cant make it as she is really sick.. Some time later i found out she still went somewere that day and this day is kinda important later in the story as from here on it all went downhill..

So we did talk about this being an actual date.. but that never came to life. We did talk until that day every day.. even tho she is busy with the sports and gets home every day at 8pm or later we still found some time to talk..
And i still dont know how i actually found the words to talk to her for such a long time. But damn it really feels good to talk to someone like that..
I mean i cant really talk to someone for a long time.. even tho we have quite alot in common but still i just cant find the words..
And its killing me inside when im thinking about it...
Even now when im looking back at the convo we had it just hurts looking at on how it all changed but it went so well..
And generally i thought she had intereat in be but now i just dont see it anymore.. she couldnt look at me at the dance lessions twards the end..

So that next week we had holidays and i asked her if she wanted to go out now as she wasnt sick anymore.. but thats when she said she doesnt wanna go and hurry this out.. and said she will see after we know each other longer... so ff almost 2 months again new holidays begin in 3 days and i ask her if she is down sometime now.. this is when she said she isnt feeling ok again.. not to mention since the time of denial we didnt talk much like maybe once a week for a short time but that was it.. i talked to her that i dont blame her for saying no at that time but still it didnt change much... i even found out as she is shy alot (i knew that from the very beginning) and she never was in a relationship with anyone that alot of her classmates talked to her about us regularly and even made bets that we are going to be dating some time soon.. So i hope this is not really an issue to her...
But lets get back to that holiday that began as she said again for the 2nd time she was sick during holidays but i later found out she had plans for the whole week as she stayed at one of her besties place and i guess she didnt know how to tell me in the correct way she had plans already.. it wasnt the first time she would made a poor choice of words but still im not blaiming her for that...
She is leaving me on seen most of the time since that day and just avoided conversations most of the time...

When we had the dance lessions i always picked her up but since that day she always found an excuse not to go with me that she can get there on her own..
Later after when i got so depressed as she didnt want to talk anymore i lost it and i msged her that she needs to talk to me as this is not going anywhere and if i did something wrong or what really happened.. so she said that its not my fault but something happened on that day that i mentioned before that it is going to be important. And on that day something happened that changed her completely and that she is sorry about everything... i tried suspecting what i could be that would change someone like that.. but she said she doesnt want to say it to me as its that bad and really personal and she only shared it with her bestie and that she isnt ready that anyone else knows..

I found out later from someone else she had plans to go to a nightclub that day with her sport class members but no one is sure if she went there or not..
So i msged her that if she ever needs to talk to someone im here etc.. so she all kindly responded she will see that i might find out one day. And to this day im still hoping to find out what went down.
December comes and as christmas came we all had another week of holidays. And ofc i talked to her for a bit but as always she had plans already.. so nothing happened then...
So some time passed by we had a 3 month break from the dance lessions from the end of november till 2 days ago.. in this time we didnt speak much.. here and there we talked a bit but nothing seriously.

So 2 days ago we talked a bit i picked her up he had an hour or so to spend so we just chilled on a bench and talked for a bit..
There were alot breaks in the convo as me being me i just couldnt find the right words..
But since i was so down most of the time this day felt great.. she seemed to be in a good mood i was happy as i got to see her again and talk with her and generally it all went well..
Later that day i was ofc thinking about it and what we could have talked about... but now im all fkin depressed as this thin is eating me as i cant speak to her at all...
As i said we have alot of stuff in common but still i just dont find the words... and as i think into the future even if i forget her and move on me being me like this ill never get this kind if chance again.. i just cant message a random person and then i cant even imagine talking to that person.. i know its all in my head but fk i need to somehow sort this out.. i generally like her alot she is not perfect but nether am i... god i wish this would have been a dream and that i could just wake up being normal.. but sadly its not..

But yeah this is mostly it.. i just wanna enjoy life like this.. i cant really sleep normally.. im depressed af.. i had the bad thoughts latley but no suicide is not an option.. i want to enjoy life i have no matter what..
If anyone read all of this i thank you from the bottom of my heart.. and if you got anything to say about it or generally if you ever had a simmilar problem with social anexiety and you got over it and got your life back on track id appreciate it if youd share..
But yeah im still hoping we could work it out.. im just thinking if she ever thought about it as every dance pair are dating rn.. just as i watched while we were dancing most of them were hugging and kissing but it is how it is.. idk really where all of this is really going...