>mummy says she can't afford to look after me and pay for all my tendies and my WoW subscription
>tells me I should apply for thta part time job at Lickin' Chicken to help with the bills
>start hyperventilating, going extremely red like a tomato (YUCK!)
>who does that bitch think she is
>hit her in her stupid old face with my fists and scream at her until she stops talking and leaves
>flash forward several weeks
>mummy hasn't talked about me getting a job since then
>she gets dressed up in fishnet stockings and very red lipstick and goes out all night, every night now, leaving chicken tendies in the microwave that I have to go all the way downstairs to heat up myself
>mfw
>later I find out mummy sent in an application to Lickin' Chicken for me and I got an interview
>I'm sitting in my swimming shorts on my big meowth cushion (MEE-OWTH THAT'S RIGHT!) trying to play WarioWare Touched on my Nintendo when she tells me about it
>MUMMY SHUT UP. SHUT UP MUMMY I'M TRYING TO BEAT ASHLEY
>fucking cunt hole tries to reason with me so I tell her
>WHO'S THE GIRL NEXT DOOR LIVING IN A HAUNTED MANSION YOU BETTER LEARN MY NAME CAUSE I'M ASHLEY
>jump up and down stomping my feet
>at the interview mum tries to stop me playing my DS
>I keep headbutting her until she lets me carry on
>the stupid man interviewing me asks me what I could bring to Lickin' Chicken
>keeping my eyes glued to the screen, I stand up and start a one-man conga around the small office singing I LIKE CHICKEN TENDIES. THE FLAVOUR NEVER ENDIES.
>anyway I didn't get the job, whatever, fucking normies said I would only earn 200 a week, I can make that just by staying in my bed all night and not getting into mummy's bed. Ka-ching!
Mummy says she can't afford to look after me and pay for all my tendies and my WoW subscription
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It's weird seeing cancer in written form.
>be me
>530 Lbs of mummy's golden child
>sitting on toilet squeezing out a big poo that I've held for a day
>finally drops out along with a BRRRRRAPPPPPPFFPPPPTHTHTHTPPP
>look in the bowl at my masterpiece, skidmarks longer than the M6
>"Mummy, MUMMY, come and see what I did!"
>mum unlocks the door from the outside using the special key for emergencies
>proudly point at the toilet bowl
>wow! You've done so well, and it's all in the bowl too! That's 10 good boy points
>clap my hands because I've been saving my good boy points for weeks, finally at 150
>cash them all in for a special hour with my catgirl
>mummy phones up the people who send the catgirl and talks with them
>hear girl arrive at the door and sit on the end of my bed and take off my pants for the first time in 2 days
>can hear them talking downstairs
>"God, it's not him again is it? He's getting too large for me to do anything"
>hear mummy say "Please, we have a system and it's the only way I can get him to do anything"
>girl sighs and says "I have the catears headband too, I'll be wearing it again?"
>clap my hands because I can tell special time is about to begin
>girl comes into my room and meows and purrs
>have special fun time, she makes my peepee feel good
>the next 50 minutes are spent while I tell her about my comics and my video games
>she's really impressed
>eventually leaves after the hour is up
>mummy comes up with my snack of tendies for being such a good boy
>"enjoy your tendies, snookums, I have to leave now for my nightshift"
>eat my tendies in bed and dream about my waifu Mikasa-san afterwards
How can anyone diss the NEET life? Enjoy your long hours and ungrateful wives, wageslaves.
wholesomemes
>be me
>playing club penguin trying to hook up with bitches
>my mum comes in and says that after I lost her her job I should get a part time job
>I tell her to fuck off
>she sighs
>"I-i-t's okay, user. It's not your fault you're special."
>Stupid bitch. Why does everyone need to tell me that?
>Ffwd 1 month later
>now she just wears really red lipstick, fishnets and short skirt and goes upstairs every night with a male friend to play 'games' with a locked door.
>lying bitch, how can we still be poor and she can still play around?
>sometimes I hear beating and her crying.
>note to self: buy noise-cancellation headphones with GBP.
>my tummy is hungry
>I go upstairs and knock on the door
>"MUMMY YOUR BEST BOY IS HUNGRY. I WANT TENDIES."
>no answer
>I put my ear against the door
>hear them exercising
>faggots must have put in earpiece and listening to music
>no one fucks with my tendies
>go to backyard
>climb up tree outside mummy's window
>am big-boned but tendies motivate me
>see their silhouette behind curtain
>he's helping her do sit ups
>I am Enzio Auditore
>swing like pendulum and crash through window
>I roll gracefully and crash into mummy's drawer
>don't know why they're not wearing clothes, it's not that hot
>her friend is spilling mayonnaise on her face
>her male friend goes wtf
>he storms out and says he'll never "spend money on a stupid whore again"
>mummy just sits there and cries
>I bang on my chest and scream "I WANT TENDIES"
Tfw when she already left cooked tendies on the dining table before all that.
>be me
>wake up in a cold sweat wheezing
>hungry.wav
>waddle over to kitchen
>exhausted from the walk and lay on kitchen floor like an overturned giant slug
>get up half an hour later
>open the freezer
>no tendies
>almost suffer cardiac arrest
>feel a festering "REEEE" in the back of my throat
>this_ends_now.jpg
>waddle as fast as I can towards the slut bitch cunt's room
>watch over her
>she looks exhausted from working her two jobs
>"Mommy?"
>no response
>oh_no_boy-o.png
>"MOOOOM!"
>Mommy wakes up with a gasp
>looks at me and starts crying
>"Oh, user, no... I- I forg--"
>get unto the bed on top of her
>hear her groan under weight and hear something pop
>"No nuggies so I make Mommy into huggies"
>"Sweetie, I--"
>"NO NUGGIES SO I MAKE MOMMY INTO HUGGIES!!!"
>with speeds that are unfathomable I pull down my pants and put her face right into my butt
>haven't taken a poopie in weeks
>let_it_go.gif
>as horrible juicy farts are released from my cave, an explosion of chunky diarrhea explodes into my Mom's face
>as thunderous farts and blobs of poopie explode, I roar and tremble in orgasmic pleasure, my saggy tits jiggling in unison to my quicering jowls
>"GOD HAS LEFT US MOMMY!!!!"
>hear my Mommy gagging and sobbing
>sleep on top of mommy because ordeal made me sleepy
>wake up next morning
>Mommy gone
>waddle over to fridge
>Tyson nuggies on shelf
Give me one good reason NEET life isn't worth it
>Wake up at 4pm
>Hear talking downstairs
>Start yelling I NEED MY BIG BOY SLEEP
>Waddle over to the door, knock poo-poo jar over
>*whoops, guess mommy has some work to do* I knock over another just for good measure.
>Waddle down the stairs to living room. Mommy is talking to a lady in a business suit about "coverage"
>I NEED MY BIGBOY SLEEP
>Mommy looks in my direction and apologizes to the lady.
>Notice that lady has really pretty hair
>Mommy tells me to go upstairs
>Lady has really really pretty hair
>My pee-pee goes hardy-wardy
>The diaper pops off from the force of my pee-pee, leaving me naked except for my Fluttershy t-shirt
>"Mommy is this the girlie-friendie I asked for?"
>I can't believe that fucking bitch finally did something right.
>Mommy looks really emberassed and tells me to go upstairs. The lady is really scared.
>Start waddling over to the lady.
>She recoils back in horror.
>Keep waddling over.
>I slip on the diaper around my ankles and fall to the ground.
>I do a big poo poo and begin crying on the ground, but my pee-pee is still hardy-wardy at my new girlie-friendie, so I keep crawling towards her
>The lady turns around and runs out the door
>Mommy has tears in her eyes, tries to lift me off the ground
>"Mommy, was she my girlie-friendie you got me?"
>She brushes the tears off her face and nods
>"Yes dear, s-she's just embarrassed. She's never seen a boy as handsome as you before!" She says as she wipes away another tear.
>I smile, proud of how handsome I am
>Mommy tells me that maybe if I earn enough good boy points, she will get me another girlie
>She pulls me up the stairs and starts cleaning the floor
>Uh-oh, my pee-pee is still hard
>I get out of my bed and walk up behind mommy
>Tell her she can be my girlie-friendie too
>She looks kind of disgusted for some reason, says mommy can't do that
>I start yelling REEEEEEEE as I rip off my diapers and shove my pee-pee at her face
>She sucks my weenie-peenie to make me stop yelling
Good day today.
I got hard from this
Just when you thin you beat it. BAM stage 3.
>wake up at 2pm
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she walks to the kitchen trying hard not to vomit from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>colored most of it so I start drawing doodles outside the lines
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>I just sit there on floor, in my own filth, thinking about what a disappointment I am
>mfw
>be 32 year old beautiful, happy bouncy baby boy with a bright future ahead of me
>6pm, just woke up, getting my morning ceweals
>enter mommy, she sits down in front of me as i happily pick apart the marshmellows in the cereal and eat them with a spoon full of milkies
>"honey, your dad and i have been talking, and we think its finally time for you to get a job..."
>i stop her immediately after that
>"mommy...what are you...?"
>an incomprehensible rage takes over me, i quickly lash out at mommy
>grab the poopy diaper that she hasnt fucking changed since last night
>throw it right at her face, makes a big splat sound and she falls back from the force and velocity of the poopy diaper smacking her
>as she is stunned and wiping the poopies off, i stand over her with my fists clutched, she is cowering with her hands over her face, stupid fucking bitch
>i remind her that baby doesnt like it when his diaper changing bonding with mommy time is forgotten
>start peeing all over her, she probably wants to be washed off by now
>give her a black eye just for good measure so she doesnt tell anyone what happened
>later that night, she comes in with a plate full of fresh wendys tendies and a new diaper, kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good night at 10 am
>Be me
>Have a job and own place
>Make enough money to buy tendies whenever I want
>Nobody to tell me when to wake up on days off
>Mfw all these neet's get booted to the curb eventually for being useless wastes of carbon and oxygen
You are all worse than the Andy sixx meme, loli, cp, and furries combined
>be me
>Mummy's perfect little 22 year old
>Daddy passed away a few months ago from a hurt chest after yelling at me to get a job
>before he died he put a little me inside Mummy's tummy
>Mummy starts talking about how nice itll be to have a baby around again
>"But aren't I the baby?"
>"user, you know I'm going to need help raising the baby, you're going to be a big brother and that means responsibility."
>i get mad and tell the whore that I'm not going to share her with that thing inside her
>"user, its time to grow up."
>Mummy gets fat and starts asking me to do shit around the house
>changing my own diaper, answering the door, whatever
>"user, could you throw some chicken tenders in the oven for me and get me a prenatal vitamin shake, I've got a craving!"
>TOO
>FUCKING
>FAR
>go upstairs to Mummy's room and grab her nail polish remover off the nightstand
>go downstairs and pour it into stupid fucking healthy-baby drink
>grab her cunt-face
>"Open wide!"
>Mummy chokes down nasty smelling smoothie and starts to scream and cry
>I keep telling her itll be better this way but she wont stop trying to hit me
>shake all gone so I decide to head back to my room for a nap
>she can make up for everything shes done when I wake up
>Mummy calls 911 screaming about bleeding from her piss-flappy downstairs parts
>I stomp on her phone and tell the bitch that if she calls them again I'll put rat poison in the next smoothie
>Mummy lays on floor for a few hours before she drives herself to the hospital after I fall asleep
>Mummy disobeyed me but baby is gone now
>all is well
i think these are neat.
it's like fluffy ponies.
crafting one of these horror stories takes care.
a good one has to go to deep levels of depravity while still maintaining a semblance of possibility.
> Be healthy 380 pound baby with a loving mommy
> wake up right on time at 5:25pm after a night of intense gaming on garys mod
> Go out with mummy to buy the minecraft sword I was promised, to defend against normies
> Arrive at Gamestop, mom makes GBP transaction with the wagey behind the counter
> Feel instant rush of anger when I finally get the sword, because I need to show I'm superior to dumb wagecucks
> I hit the wagey with it, as hard as my big boned muscles will allow me to
> "user! WHY!?"
> "DUMB WAGESLAVE MADE ME CAVE! LET ME GIVE HIM A BOO BOO OR I DO A POO POO!" I wittily reply
> "user! 200GBP GONE MISTER"
> This dumb bitch thinks she can get away with this, I warned her
> "REEEEEEE" I scream, as I pull down the shelves in the store to block off mommy
> Rip down my diaper, the stench immediately causes the other customers in the store to vomit
> Put my brand new awesome sword between my bum bum cheeks, pointing it behind me
> Start fiercely grinding on the sword, the mere sight causes all the normies in the store to get shocked from amazement
> Can feel the individual pixel changing as I do move it
> Sword is now covered in my healthy, thick blood
> Pee on the sword for good measure
> I am now the master of all the elements, blood, pee pee and poo poo
> "GIVE ME TENDIES NOW MUM"
> Start hitting everyone in the store with the amalgamated weapon
> Everyone flees
> Start rolling around in the aftermath
> Pass out, because I was hungry
> Wake up in bed with tendies
> gobble them up and waddle to living room
> mommy happily swinging on a rope by her neck
> doesn't even poke me with the ouchie-medicine like she does everyday
> Decisive victory
Its sad to think that someone out there is as bad as these stories irl
>3:00am
>watching some based icarly like I usually do
>also playing minecraft xbox edition
>get distracted from building my poo poo pee pee themed city in creative mode by miranda cosgroves qtness
>pull out my weenie and start masturbating
>imagine what she looked like as a toddler while im doing this
>its too much for me
>realize before I finish that mommy said she is tired of cleaning up my semen from the carpet
>quickly grab one of my shit jugs and cum directly into it
>dont miss a drop
>mommy comes in at 3:01 like she usually does to clean up my mess
>"mommy look!" i exclaim while i lift the shit jug high
>she looks confused, but then notices what ive done
>"o-okay a-user. thats a g-good boy." she says
>"what do I get mommy?" I ask while steping towards her
>"a-a good boy point a-user" she says as she slowly starts to shake
>I run directly into her knocking her over to get through the door
>dont have time to put my weenie back into my undies
>arrive at the fridge panting because it is like a whole 30 feet away
>mom comes up limping with a tears on her cheeks
>she reaches to the top shelf of the fridge because Im only 5'2 and cant reach
>she gives me my tendies with mayonnaise just the way I like them
I stoped cumming in my shit jugs after that though. it was too much work lifting them up
What will you do without mommy to give you tendies
I've read this one before
>shit my pants more than once a week
>cant do anything beyond addition and subtraction and even then I can only do it in intervals up to 12
>people still talk to me in a baby voice even though im adult
>the cashier has to scan my debit card for me or ill mess up
>cant pee standing up
>burn the oven mitts all the time because I always turn on the wrong burners and mommy yells at me
>try to fill my cuppy up with ice but it always overflows because I hold the button too long
>dont know how to make my bed so I need mommy to fix the sheets all the time
>got a kitten for a present and loved it like crazy but ended up killing it when I accidentally sat on it
>dont know how to button up my own shirts
>people make fun of me because my shoes are always on the wrong feet and I still have to wear velcro sneakers
>never learned how to cut my food with a knife and fork so when we go out we have to ask the kitchen to do it special
>half the time forced to order off kids menu because I dont know what im ordering otherwise
>cant remember my television channels when cartoons are on so mommy has to change it for me
>spent my entire life in special ed even though I was too self aware to enjoy it
>be me
>mummy's 450 lb 33-year-old
>talking with my anime gf on my computer when suddenly
>i hear the faint sound of an ice cream truck
>i say "cya later" to hatsune miku, the love of my life
>i get up from my gaming chair, waddle through piss and cum jugs, and open the door of my room
>as i hopple down the stairs i yell "mummy mummy the ice cream truck is coming give me money mummy!!!"
>she says "i'm sorry my love we're short on money" as she takes in the smell of the shit and piss that i'm dripped in and sheds a tear, she is so proud of me
>i get angry and let out a REEEEEEE and slap her with my cum-coated flaps of fat
>she obliges and hands me a 5 dollar bill
>i trudge my healthy body outside and see my first ray of sunlight in many months
>i look around in excitement for my ice cream but it's too late
>the ice cream truck is gone
>i cry and shit my diapers outside in the middle of the yard
>i crawl my way back in covered in my own poo
>i yell at my mum to make me some tendies, which i had just enough GBP for
>a few minutes later, my tendies are in front of me
>i eat them 3 at a time from hunger
>i'm still sad i didn't get my ice cream though, but tendies will do
The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!
>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make poo
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Poo-poo is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>*vroom-vroom*
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"user, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"user stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this I say.
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my Dinosaur Kingdom table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and stuffed animals
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room, rubbing her fresh bruise
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No. Regretful? Certainly not.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.
If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion. She chose this life.
>430 I’m the afternoon
>Wake up after marathoning rick and morty the night before
>Get up early to tug it to nick jr
>Make big boy mayonnaise on my hand
>Sweating like like a pro athlete after energetic jerk
>Hankering for some tendies
>Waddle over to gbp chart
>25 points
>Have enough to get a meal at McDonalds
>Mumsie just got home from her second job
>”Mommy your good little boy has enough points for a nuggie meal! Time for McDonald!”
>”user, I just got home, can I take a nap first?”
>Backhand her and explain AGAIN the agreement on the chart
>Mommy grabs her keys, tears in eyes as we go get my prize
>See they have mlp toys for kids meals
>Fuck, spent all my points on 20 nugs
>Start to reeeeeeeeeeee on the floor, until I see a girl with a twighlight sparkle toy
>Run up to her and beg to trade my shirt for it
>Stuck up little Stacy sloot starts to freak out and run away
>Chase after her with shirt half way over head yelling for the little cumdumpster to get back here
>Fucking chad dad gets up in my face about calling his sloot kid a cum dumpster skank and trying to rape her
>Explain I only want my twiley toy, chad, fuck off
>Get punches in face and fall to the floor
>Shit myself and cry for mommy to help her good little boy
>Mommy runs over, crying, apologizing to the chad, and saying I don’t know any better
>”Whatever, lady, that retard has to be in his thirties! Let’s go!”
>Takes his daughter and leaves, probably to fuck her gaping vag, the whore
>Cry whole way home until mommy stops by Walmart and gets me a twiley plush
Feels good man
seen this before, still kek every time
> its noon after i pulled all-nighter on fortnight
> getting irritable and hungry
> decide to venture to the living room
> 20 years worth of dried cum rags and foot skin fragments crackle like tinfoil mines under my hefty stomps
> "user its your bday"
> my eyes widen as i leak fluids that were irritating my bowels since halloween (cant lose points bc bday)
> "i made 3 days worth of tendies for my special boy"
> i begin to feast with one hand while wiping liquid shit off my ass with the other
> "user i know its a big responsibility but i got you a dog"
> she gives me the rundown on dogs while i daydream about applejack getting 12" throatfucked by a german sheppard"
> whatever
> i go to my room and the scrawny little shit follows me in
> after a day he scratches the door and wimpering but i have vidya to do
> day 4 he is lapping up puddles from my spilled piss jugs and eating weeks old tendies that found thwir way into amd out of my ass crack
> after a week hes stopped moving and starting to smell
> guess normie animals arent built to survive (that'll teach mummy)
> week 2 hes immensly decayed and reaking
> mummy comes upstairs
> "omg user!! I LEFT A BAG OF FOOD RIGHT HERE IN YOUR ROOM"
> right then i was killed and made 12th
> okbitchherewego
> i barrel roll to the door and knock her down
> grab the maggot filled carcass
> start shoving handfuls of living wriggly crawlys in her face
> "interrupt fortnite, stinky buggies you will bite"
> she screams a frightful tune
> i then lay the macabre mess of flesh and bone on her chest and lay my beautiful curvy ass cheeks on top
> the dog innards ooze in all direction lubricating my ass and balls while mummy vomets helplessly and avoiding my flaccid cock
> the erotic sensation bring me to a full erect with liquid cake shit coming out
> now im back on my vidya
> mummy lies in a shit vomet death swamp with her stupid fucking dog present
ITT wannabe reddit stars
>be a 27 year old NEET
>wake up at 6PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, your new daddy Leroy and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicken tenders, just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungry for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable one and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let losse my battle cry
>RRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>"MY PRECIOUS TENDIES HAVE GONE TO WASTE, NOW MY POOPY YOU SHALL TASTE"
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to Tyler Perry movie
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "...tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicky tendies again"
And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
>Finally got enough good boy points to get a 20 piece nug meal at McDonald's
>time to dine like a king
>Ask mumsy to wash my rarity plushy so I can take her on a date (shes my gf and was covered in cummies)
>user, I'll wash it when we get home from McDonald's, I've got laundry running
>"it"
>Oh
>No
>U
>Didnt
>I'm a classy gentleman who will defend his waifu's honor
>walk into the laundry room and open the running dryer, unleashing a torrent of Mountain Dew colored fury from my pee pee into the hot, drying, clothes
>Next, open up the washing machine, sticking my butt in the open lid, filling it with a mess of grumpy dumpies
>After running for a minute, the smell brings mummy in to investigate
>"user, what is that smell?"
>"Now that this load is dirty, you can wash rarity, right?"
>"That does it, user, I'm taking the internet down for the rest of the month and you can forget about chicken nuggets!"
>She rushes from the laundry room with a pair of scissors to cut the cable
>My 430 pound body is too healthy to catch up to the bitch
>I gasp for air in between 'reeeeeeeeeees' and lumber up the stairs to ex new daddy no. 5's old office
>I have her in my sights
>I attempt to charge, but my left arm has shooting pain, coming from my chest
>I clutch my breast and start to cry
>"moooooooooooommiieeeeeee, save your good boy"
>She grabs the phone in tears and goes to dial, but stops
>She looks at me me with tears and mumbles "It's for the best, user...." as she sets the phone down and walks away
That's all I remember. I guess the neighbor heard the commotion and called the cops. Just got released from the ER. I reasoned with her not to cut internet. She's even gotten me nugs, tendies, and fries for every meal today! She cry's as she hands them to me, and just mumbles 'sorry' or some shit. Glad she's sad about how she treated me and rarity.
> be me 34 year old mama's bundle of pure joy
> she's loved me every day since she was 15
> been in bed all day thinking about tendies
> hear a loud noise from the kitchen
> maybe mama makes tendies for her boy
> gets all excited and waddle into the kitchen
> not without taking breaks in between every 2 steps
> all sweaty and greasy arrive in the kitchen
> mama seems to sleep with her face on the table
> lots of weird tasting ketchup and raw tendies next to her head
> stupid bitch fell asleep while making tendies
> grab the oddly shaped star wars blaster next to mommy and hammer it into the side of her head
> she does not wake up
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE until I shit myself
> still no motion
>and go back to my room put tendies from the table into the microwave
> still taste odd
> mfw mama is sleeping for 3 days now and starts to stink
> mfw she doesnt want to talk to her boy
> what did I do to upset mama
This guy gets it. These can be really funny. I think alot of people dont like them because its too familiar.
>me
>Mommy's Roly Poly Baby Booby-boo
>Playing Warframe
>2 days to finish Mag Prime
>lolno
>Go to rush. No platinum
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Bellow for mommy to bring her credit card
>No mommy.
>THIS SHALL NOT STAND!
>Heft self out of limited edition DXRacer gaming chair, farting to propel myself upwards
> Waddle from room, kicking over poopy bottle in the process. Oh well, mess for mommy to clean!
>Glance at GBP calendar
>600 Good Boy Points
>Stop to make out with hot waifu on calendar to celebrate
>She wants the D
>Go downstairs
"MOMMY BRING THE CREDIT CARD! YOUR BABY WANTS TO OWN SCRUBS HARD!"
>Mommy and new daddy Chad on couch.
>Mommy's crusty roast beef is eating new daddy's fist!
>New Daddy deserves it... Or is he trying to crawl up mommy and become the new baby?!
>ENGAGE REEEEEEEEEEE
>Fall down stairs, wallow my way to the bottom
>Piss and shit everywhere
>Vomit to lubricate my path, a glorious penguin in motion
>Slide across floor, slam into couch
>New daddy Chad screams, yanks fist out of mommy's vagina
"BABY KNOWS THE GAME YOU PLAY, MAMA'S FAVORITE HE WILL STAY!"
>New Daddy tries to kick me, slips on puke puddle
>Hits head on coffee table, goes to sleep
>Heft myself up, punch mommy in crusty cooter
"CREDIT CARD!"
Mommy cried tears of joy, and I pooped on New Daddy to show I'm the favorite. Life is good, Yea Forums.
8.5/10. Well done. This was a good one! The ending was a nice touch too.
>be at Burger King
>they have $1.49 for 10 nuggets deal
>this means I can order more nuggies!
>time to load up
>decide to get 200
>make ma-ma do the conversion from USD to GBP
>only 60 Good Boy Points for 200 nugnugs!
>I clean out their nuggie saucies (costs 0 GBP so I order extra, 1 sauce packet per 2 nuggies)
>my table looks like the famous Scarface scene but with nuggies instead of cocaine
>scarf down my nuggers n' sauce while ma-ma plays Candy Crush on her phone (shitty pleb game)
>mum tells me to slow down else I get a tum-tum ache
>stupid bitch thinks she can tell me what to do
>later that night I wake up with a big hurty poo
>rush-waddle to bathroom
>trip and fall before I reach toilet
>laying on the bathroom floor crying my eyes out and pooping all over the floor
>1 hour later i clean myself up in the toilet bowl and wake up mommy to clean my poopies
>didn't get my 50 GBP for sleeping through the night
>lose the 30 daily GBP bonus I get for keeping my poo-poos in the toilet
>can't go to sleep now
>do peepee fun rubby-squirty on the Baby Bop pages of my Barney and Friends picture book
>miss the pages and and get pee-pee mayonnaise all over my bedsheets
>mums get upset when she sees the stains and takes away the rest of my GBP
And that's why you never choose nuggies over tendies
>Be masturbating to family photos of my mom from when she was in middle school
>Mommy comes in and sees
>Asks me to stop
>Stand up, still masturbating (Slowly, dont want to cum yet, but dont wanna have to start over)
>Explain that incest was just invented by normies to make it harder for superior-minded betas to get laid, and that only a fucking freak wouldn't be attracted to viable pussy when available
>She sighs and leaves, her eyes tearing up
>finally able to finish up, want some spaghetti
>Go downstairs and see mommy in kitchen
>Cooking roast chicken
>Screech at her and ask why she didn't make spaghetti
>Her answer is the final straw
>"What? You didn't ask for spaghetti."
>Lunge at her and punch the shit out of her
>She's out cold
>Shit on her whore face when she's down
>As she lays there, her pants ride up quite a lot
>See her ass clearly through her pants
>Mutter "Only a freak wouldn't be attracted to viable... viable pussy..."
>Don't want to lose virginity yet (saving for my highschool friend who I haven't spoken to in 17 years, still holding out hope we'll meet again and she'll have stayed pure for me too)
>Jerk off onto her ass instead, then write a note on the white wall of the kitchen in my own shit
>"Spaghetti. One hour. Or next time, I'll do it worse, then kill myself and blame you in the suicide note."
We weren't considered wastes until after the arbitrary number of eighteen years, set by the government.
> been trying to get back in shape
> managed to recover just enough leg to half stand/crouch
> oogaboogaimagorilla
> lose balance and slam the wall ass first
> bottles shoot their caps off at machina 5 followed by pissshitcum blastoise hydro pump attack
> the lovely design of yellow brown and pink streaks on wall has awoken my inner artist
> i decide to cash in my 30 points for deleicious tendies so i may begin my master piece
> (been recieving foodies through my wee wee flap door so mum wont suspect a thing)
> sumo stance, fall, PewpewPEWPpop!!!, spllluuuuurrrrpppppplphhhh!!!!
> i do this for hours, mum knocking, new chad knocking, i ignore their calls of concern
I must create my pisscasso piece, my little mony lisa, the davinci chode
> its morning, i think, the floor is soaked with rancid gas emitting fluids that burn one's eyes
> *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*
> "police! Is everythi.... good lord what the fucks that smell?!!"
> can hear mum telling normies about my (condition)
> "come out and let us know you are ok, or we will have to assume the worst"
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
> i halt my talents and observe the following silence
> "last chance!!!"
> respond to normies "intrude upon my art, and suffer wrath of mySHIT!!!
> i feel the floor sinking slightly as my aged bodily fluids make like lava to the middle
OhFuck.
> door smashes open and in burst 4 piggie wiggies
> REEEEEEEE...CRAAAAAASSSSHHHHH
> the floor caves-in, the chaos of wall painting shattering and showering everything in years worth of my heavenly stench liquids terraforming the lower level
> what was once my room abode is a sea wreckage of the living room below
> i was save by bottles one last time, also a dead guy whos bones made no resistance(may have been chad)
> the waves of liquid start to pool and mummy calling for help and the cess engulfs her head under thd rubble
> gurgling
Lol im half dead anons, but i think the stupid bitch shoulda learned her place by now instead of call the cops
Retards. Actual, literal retards. Fuck back off to Facebook.
>be me
>mummy's chunky 550lb miracle
>wakeup at 5pm
>roll over in my playpen
>something is missing
>my waifu pillow is gone
>that bitch has kidnapped her
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>no reply
>roll out of the pen but too fat to stand
>crawl along the floor
>poopoo and peepee bottles fall and spill in my wake
>my soiled mlp onesie becoming a jackson pollock canvas of poo and pee
>roll down the stairs and see mummy in the kitchen
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HER, WHORE?!
I-I don't know what you're talking about sweetie
MY WAIFU! WHERE IS SHE!
Your pillow... thing. I took it to get washed, it was all gross and crusty
MY WAIFU PILLOW I SHALL FIND, THEN YOU SHALL EAT TENDIES FROM MY BEHIND
>pull myself onto my legs for the first time in weeks
>can feel my knees buckling under the weight of my ample frame
>i strap on my naruto headband, grab my minecraft sword and waddle out the door on my chivalrous quest
>people gag as i pass them on the street
>others flee in terror at the sight of me lumbering down the street trailing poopoo behind me
>get to the laundromat
RELEASE HER FROM HER SOAPY PRISON!
>laundry lady looks shocked
e-excuse me
MY WAIFU YOU ODOROUS CRONE! I AM TO BELIEVE THAT SHE IS HOUSED WITHIN ONE OF THESE SPINNING DEATHTRAPS!
oh, y-you're mrs user's ch-child... your mother's laundry is over here
>i see my love being drowned in a vortex of water and suds
REEEEEEEEEEE! SHE'S DYING YOU MALODOROUS FIEND! HOW CAN YOU LET AN INNOCENT FLOWER WILT AND DIE THIS WAY!
>i use all my tard strength to rip the machine door from it's hinges
>water floods the room as i stand triumphant sword held high and waifu in hand
>make my way home expecting tendies for the returning hero
>instead see the blue and red flashing lights of the law
>they tackle me to the ground, the stench causing them to vomit all over me
IS THIS HOW AMERICA TREATS IT'S HEROES?!
>they separate me from my love and throw me in the back of a car
>i can see them dragging her away as my eyes fill with tears
>never see her again
I think this is creative writing and I appreciate your art. Don't mind the normie naysayers.
>Mommy gives me $20 and tells me to go walk to the movies so she and New New Daddy can have some alone time
>"For tickets alone, this sum shall suffice. But I must eat too, and that begs a higher price!"
>Jesus user, when are you going to stop talking like that? It's really getting on my nerves
>bitch still gives me another $20
>"Mummy, upon leaving the theatre, the hour will be late. A ride I demand, and I don't like to wait!"
>user, the theater is a 5 minute walk away. Get home yourself
>"Neglect of your child is the worst of my triggers. Do you wish to see me set upon by unruly niggers?"
>user, don't use that language! We live in a safe neighborhood, now go
>"The march to the theatre looms long and unfriendly. To maintain my stamina, I require Tendies!"
>mummy is visibly mad at this point
>user, I'm not making you more tendies, you had two cases earlier. Your body doesn't need any more!
>"Ah, i see it's a matter of my digestive capacity. The solution, I assure you, is not beyond my sagacity!"
>stick thumb down throat
>puke all over mummy's special Just For Daddy dress
>"My stomach is emptied, it demands to be refilled! Now cook up more tendies, the only task in which you're skilled!"
>mummy starts crying
>walks toward bathroom
>I pull her back into the kitchen
>she cooks me tendies while crying silently
>I wolf them all down, smiling brightly
>be me
>28, mommy's healthy 430 pound good boy
>Watched the stock exchange last night, I am now able to convert U.S dollars to GBP
>Right now I am low on GBP, mommy hasn't collected my pee pee jars (I tax her)
>Try some online gambling site that Jake Paul and Ricegum showed me, use mommy's credit card to make profit
>Win Apple Air Pods with the infinite money mommy has
>Tell mommy about the free Air Pods I got
>Tell her we are going to be rich and ask for some GBP, tell her to convert the price of the Air Pods into GBP just like I learned from the stock estrange
>itworks.jpg
>b me in my room, just filled another pee pee jar, eating trendies now
>mom is her room, chad daddy is out for the night
>She start crying in her room
>Something about a credit card being charged millions
>Must be the Air Pods I won, must be tears of joy
>Mommy is so happy she shoots a gun in celebration
>She must have taken a nap too, I asked for tendies and she hasn't come to my room yet
>Welp, it looks like today was another good day for Mommy's good boy
>sisters birthday last week
>her and her friends are having a party downstairs
>she begged my mom to let her do it somewhere else, but my mom said that she would make sure I wouldnt bother her and her friends
>she is 15 and her friends are around the same age
>all her friends are vapid cunts and I dont want to risk losing my virginity to anyone but my 10/10 virgin dream girl so I decide to stay in my room
>just finished watching a couple episodes of mlp
>those qt ponies always make me parched
>sneak past mother and go downstairs into the kitchen to grab another two liter mountain dew
>I crawl on the floor like a snake so I can slither by them without them see me
>their slut senses must have picked up on the fact that Im only wearing my semen stained undies
>they start to leave the kitchen revolted
>out of the corner of my eye I see the most beautiful semen demon you an imagine
>pig tails
>short shorts
>no make up
>she couldnt have been older than 12
>literally perfect
>I run over to her and grab her to take her into my room
>she starts screaming when i put my hands on that soft pale skin
>all the girls seem really scared
>lol. like I would be tainted by their gaping cunts
>i hiss at them and drag this beute up the stairs by the root of her hair
>dad must have heard the screaming and came to see what was happening
>right before I get into my room he hits me in the back of my head with a closed fist
>"user bad!" he screams
>i drop the girl, turn and hiss at him.
>barely make it into my room with my life
Didnt get any sweet loli puss, but mom and dad got a visit from the police with the girls parents. kek. those sluts wont be coming back anytime soon
lol this thread made my night better.
>Up in the wee hours of Monday morning
>been masturbating to Sailor Moon Crystal
>finish up and get the munchies
>Wake up mom at 3am
>Tell her i'm hungry for chicken mcnuggets and to go buy some now
>Says she has wake up early for work tomorrow (dumbass that's today) and she'll pick some up on the way home
>Fuck that
>Place subwoofer speakers against the wall facing parents room and blast this: youtube.com
>She knocks my room door for 5 minutes meekly asking me to turn it off but I kick back and scream CHICKEN MCNUGGETS every time
>Finally she stops and gets in her car and comes back 40 minutes later with my mcnuggets
>Double 50 piece with extra dipping sauce plus an M&M McFlurry to wash it down with
>Furiously gobble the entire thing in four minutes
>Crash for 12-hours
>Wake up just intime to see mum home from work
>She's exhausted as hell but brought me the same order without asking just to make sure I don't wake her again
>I do anyway
Kek fucking normalfags
Oh come on man, I always lose to these fucking greent texts.
Comedy gold here
>be me
>mummy's healthy happy 37 year old 550lb baby boy
>play time
>roll my plump body out of bed and onto the floor
>10 gbp because it only took me 15 minutes to stand up
>what a wonderful start to my afternoon
>waddle over to my custom made saddle stool
>plop my bum down, get my oculus rift
>complete with extra absorbant big boy-sized headstrap
>vrchat.exe
>rp server of my favourite show
>my little pony
>start getting frisky with twilight sparkle
>moan into the mic as i grind my peepee against the saddle stool
>hear distant screams of a child and their mother coming from the other player
>twilight disappears just as i cum
>mummy walks into my room for my hourly tendie delivery and diaper change
>shrieks in horror, drops buffalo ranch and tendies
>uncapped piss bottles fall like dominos, soak my once delicious tendies
>the nerve of that bitch
>goodboyrage.mp5
>chase mummy out of the room
>she runs down the stairs calling to new daddy
>my athletic figure makes me incapable of using stairs
>idea.png
>rip off my big boy MLP diaper, sit on the first step
>the combination of cum, ass sweat and semi-dry poopies lubricates my slide down the stairs
>mach 5
>the whore can't keep up
>grab her leg and watch her tumble down the remaining stairs
>bodyslam her into the wall at the end
>punch my new daddy in the peepee
"NEVER DROP MY TENDIES AGAIN, YOU DIRTY CUNT!"
>force feed her my fluid-soaked diaper
>demand fresh tendies and a fresh pull-up
>mfw i got extra tendies and sauce and they didn't even charge my gbp
>mfw new daddy left
Mummy says missing the morgage payment isn't a big deal as long as her big boy's happy
She wants me to enjoy my Ocoulus while she takes a extra long nap in the car