Confess ya sins. I feel like helping people not kill themselves today. guilt, failures, habits, etc

Outwordly I look fine. Inwardly I'm depressed and getting scarily close to suicidal.

Is there any particular cause?

Pretty certain civilization is terminal. Whites going extinct, the dollar is just paper, and are rights are being eroded everyday. Neither party cares about us.

I can’t help but feel like my life is going nowhere. I can’t watch the news because it just reminds the world is getting worse. I go to work every day and get closer and closer to just being a robot going through the motions. I don’t have the energy or motivation to form romantic relationships anymore. The only time I’m close to happy is when I’m home, alone, and it’s quiet. I sometimes wish I died in the army so my family and friends would think I died a hero and I could be done with it. I’m constantly bitter about living a life where I was told I could do anything I wanted and it turns out that “anything” put up the no vacancy sign long before I was born. Boo hoo not a fantasy world I know. I’m currently trying to come to terms with the fact that my life will consist of working to make a rich fuck richer and then dying and probably getting laid a couple more times in between.

Thanks for the reality booster user.

>never actually positively affected anyone tho, that was kinda why it was bugging me

Yeah the status thing was the first thing I used to shoot those thoughts down. If they have all that + fam + friends... And yeah, you're right, they did leave some amazing gifts.

That's rough user. Especially being close enough family you could go to her house in the first place. Idk tho, wouldn't say you failed her at all. You did the best you could going to check on her and she was all "Nah bud, gtfo." Same thing with the "maybe yes, maybe could have done more," I get you.

Their struggles were probably deeper than a single convo could have gone. Might've taken the "they're just human" thing too far. I just really want all people, no matter what they've done or where they've come from to be able to see in full, vivid, beautiful color instead of only black or white or shades of grey, y'know?

This. So much this. Why should I slave away to prop up a dying world that’s just going to kill us off and destroy itself anyway?

Does attempted suicide count as a sin? Fucked mine up recently.

I can’t say I agree, but if you wanna go little be more in-depth about it you could. I do think most political parties can be a narrow minded

Being depressed over political situation is dumb, user. Sounds like an excuse to cover the fact that you’re probably a jobless loser with no friends and no ambition, which is the source of your real depression

Whatever happened to Alice and Fenn and those helpful people. Yea Forums used to have some light in it.

What if it was a fantasy world tho user?
Like what if your going through the motions is actually a stage? And losing the motivation for romantic relations is your stamina meter causing your controller to vibrate, a signal to change something?

>Sounds like an excuse to cover the fact that you’re probably a jobless loser with no friends and no ambition, which is the source of your real depression
I have a part time job in the field that I'm getting my degree in. I'm graduating in spring and will not have any debt. I've got a small friend group that I love.

I really just want to die, but I'm too much of a coward to off myself.

>got gf pregnant (unknowingly) right before she broke up with me.
to clarify on that unknowingly part, she was on the pill for several years with no issue, but she messed up in taking them properly (went to visit family, didn't take them then because "why would [she] need to?"
>when I found out I asked her if she wanted to get back together
>she refused
>panic
>convince her to get an abortion*
>after her mind is changed, change my mind
>tell her, she says she's doing it anyway
>she went through with it, we lost contact
It's a guilt / burden I've been unable to come to terms with for these past 5 or so years, and at this point I don't think I will be able to.
*And I can't even accept that it was "her choice" because i involved occult in it due to perceived desperation / not thinking clearly. The only thing I wanted in life was a family. Not only will I not get that, but i killed (quite literally) my... chance due to not being... i don't know. Ideal? The emotional trauma has rendered me (so far) unable to properly invest in another relationship as well as fucked over my libido (overthinking). I've also lost whatever ambition I previously had.

I'd rather not. I'm sick of all the arguing and politics. At the end of the day the only thing that matters is math and the math says that we're going extinct. The math says that the entire world economy is an unsustainable system that is a decade away at best from failure.

Of course something should change. That’s blatantly obvious. But what? And would it even matter, or would I just be equally burnt out somewhere else?

You don't help the world, or society, or some dickshit abstraction anons. You help people, humans, like each other.

No homo, but this thread, this board, is for people who can't deal in the average of the majority. It's built for and around the people telling society to go fuck itself. Do what you wanna do if you can help other people doing it.

Selling my private snapchat (daily nudes and videos).

$30/mo
$60/3 months
$100/lifetime

I also do video calls, $50/30 min

Add me for a preview @mandycross22

Guilt trip your self some more. You are the problem. The world would be better off with less faggots like you. Pull the trigger.

So just don't reproduce and enjoy as much as you can before it all goes to shit. Aren't you at least curious to see what the end times look like? That's the only thing keeping me going.

Your pricing is horrendous you slag.

E D G Y
Like you're going to make me suddenly be less of a coward. Grow up.

You’ve decided to live? I guess you’re not suicidal then huh.

Do you lack basic english comprehension or what?

We're seeing it happen right now user. This IS the end times and I've seen enough. I can't take it anymore. I just want the rapture to happen already.

I followed orders in the dessert. I regret ever joining.

If it's obvious why aren't you experimenting with your stats? Your attributes and skills? The location of your questboard or jobboard or whatever it's called? What you invest your time into grinding to level up?

You can even just sit down and breathe, and sometimes insights come to you because you're willing to just let go of the need to control with conscious effort the direction of your thoughts. This world is the most immersive game there is, it has games in games in games in a virtual game-machine in the world-game.

Nah dude I mean the real interesting stuff. Nations collapsing, resource wars, that kind of thing. We're in the prologue now, gotta wait for the good stuff.

I lack the strength to deal with your shit is what. KILL! YOU! SELF!

Different user, but honestly this. I yearn for the day I can shirk my 9-5 and go meandering through post-western civilization doing as I please

I WAS THE SAME WAY.

Every time I open my phone the news seems like waiting to give me existential dread for the rest of the day. Most of time I’m ranting to my girlfriend about things totally unrelated to our lives and I’m starting to feel my vicariously living through others because of the internet. I use to slave at work. I started reading about stoicism because I thought it inspire me to work a little harder but it’s so hard for me to believe human were meant to live in these conditions. I became a complete nihilist. I didn’t care about myself. I didn't care about my friends anymore. Until one day out of no where I felt so good just to be breathing. To be a live and continue to endure those suffering made me feel brave. I wanted to die. I didn’t care about anything, unknowingly wanting to live. I can’t tell you what you have to do to find significants, but I know if my pathetic ass could grasp a sense of it you could too. Sorry for the typos. At work lol

Doesn't look like I'm going to have much of a choice. Then again we're probably all going to die.

Brilliant. Why make a thread then you mongoloid.

I’m sorry, but it seems a little patronizing to compare the confusion of my life to a video game.

Die kike.

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>can't differentiate between intuition and impulse
well... why do you need to, user? Be more impulsive, you'll smile more as you edge slightly closer to being a child again. Were you not happier then? Were you not more free then?

By taking this lesson to heart, you can actually give their deaths more meaning. Instead of them being a cause of guilt for you, which I'm sure they wouldn't want, you can use their death to better yourself and stop making regrets, which I'm sure would please them much more.

I know what you mean, and while I do agree with you I present an alternative. Fight. Take a single cause, and fight against it. If you're doomed anyway, display your love for [whatever] in that you attempted to resist it instead of accepting it. For the issue of white people, become a role model to inspire others through your actions. Find a partner and raise children, or adopt if unable to.
Money and politics are mostly meaningless, if you allow me to brush aside those fears. Attempt to work on something more "tangible", like cleaning the oceans of plastic, or introducing animal rights bills to change the abhorrent practices the US currently has (if you live in the US, look up egg farms as an example).

Entropy was always there, user. From the moment you were born, you were doomed to die. All things are transient in this life, is one way to look at it. Look not towards the result, but at the effort you put forth to fight the inevitable.

god pls excuse my typos. Got to go, but I hope you guys use this thread to help each other.

I’m with you here fellow user. Branch? I was Army

I'd give it 20-30 years.

Y'know, she may have also dropped the birth control to alter the way she felt about you (forcing herself to be preggo, to stick with you) because she felt guilty about not feeling the love you felt.

You probably changed your mind because you still loved her, and the initial shock and comprehension you're severely underprepared took a back seat to your moral character.

It's a fucked up experience, but it may be a necessary one for you to realize you're actually pretty fucking amazing even when you're dealing with something affecting the lives of people you love.

low effort

This Thread will now be commandeered by the Third Reich

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Fuck off. You're useless.

one time, I rolled singles in a dubs thread.

feelsbadman.jpg

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Im sure you have, even if you arent aware of it

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Nah user, I get that. It's not the confusion of your life I'm comparing to a video game, it's life itself.

Almost word for word what my path has been so far. I experimented with stoicism and it worked for a bit, until I realized that suffer, in fact, blows and there’s a reason all the stoics killed themselves. I’m in nihilistic stage now

when I was younger my dad got really drunk one night and I convinced him to drive to the store in his drunken state. Ended up getting into a car crash and while not seriously injured was sent to prison for a day on multiple charges. Mom got custody and we moved far away. Haven't spoken to my dad in years and wouldn't know how to get in contact even if I tried to just tell him I was sorry

They get it

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Our lives matter because they don’t. This is unironically true.

i want to kill myself help me not

Only in the fact you can turn it off.

i hate the slimy stinky shiptards so much i send every week a latter to the goverment About it

I want to because a lot of the impulses I've had would result in the deaths or dismemberment of other people. And I really don't want to kill or maim people because lulz.

Whereas I'm more willing to believe intuition is thinking about taking a book with me to the bank, and happening to make friends with someone because of it.

I think... impulse is.. oh, well shit. In responding to you, I figured out how to differentiate them lol.

Thank you, user.

>For anyone wondering the distinction I've come to re: impulse vs intuition
>impulse - urge to satisfy some immediate animal desire, like sex or violence or food
>intuition - sense that doing or saying something may be useful or beneficial in some unseen/unknown way

I appreciate the sentiment behind the post, really. My following refutation is for the wording you used only.

>she may have also dropped the birth control to alter the way she felt about you
She definitely didn't do that on purpose. I saw her take it most days due to routines lining up, and she took it before the trip, and after the trip. When you stop taking them for several days some women experience a super fertile period because reasons.

>You probably changed your mind because you still loved her
I... am not able to comment on my feelings for her at that time due to a poor memory, but the reasoning I had to first push for the abortion and then change my mind were:|
>it would have a terrible life (pre mind change)
>...but at least it would be alive (post mind change)

>the bit about moral character and me being amazing
The experience made me realize things that can happen to a person when they feel some extreme emotion. I don't really blame people for their actions anymore, as I'm sure it seemed "logical" to them at the time. But after being exposed to "myself" I lost any pretense of "being a good person". I can only, at best, describe myself as "a neutral person who sometimes tries to do good."

Thank you for the reply though. Since this happened so long ago I can't talk about this with anyone IRL.

Fuck off thot

Definitely not aware of anything like that IRL. Maybe I'm just selfish, but I want to know there's some benefit being alive brings. Money and sex and drugs and shit? Meh. Knowing I've altered the course of someone's life for the better? Hell yeah.

I’m sleeping with 2 of my friends wives and I feel really guilty about it but I can’t stop

I basically drug and rape a co worker every friday, we go out for drinks and i slip her 20mg of ambien in her 4th vodka and soda, i drive her home 5 minutes away and make sure she is in the house and awake when i leave. (plausible deniability)
i come back an hour later get in using the "hiden" key and fuck her in the pussy with no protection and creampie like crazy inside her.
First time i did it i sat and waited all weekend for cops to arrest me and nothing happened, Laura was fine on monday too, acted like nothing happened, have been doing it for 9 months now and i can't stop.
I keep getting crazier each time, this last time i punched her in the forearm real hard just before i left, on monday she had a HUGE bruise right where i puched her, i asked about it and she said it must have happened friday night when she was drunk and can't remember.....

proud of you

Adventures, sidequests, grinding to level stats, travel, only truly being beholden to yourself, the ability/option to hack the whole thing for massive short term rewards, gaming the system via min-maxing for better specs later on, jobs/classes, retarded NPC's repeating the same damn task 50+ times in a row before they snap out of it, employers or quest-givers repeating the same damn line 20 times because they want to be abso-fucking-lutely certain you get it, because the last fuckwad to do it dicked it majorly.

Pets, shitty romance options, crime is a farce, joining certain guilds or factions leads to better rewards.

There's a fucking ton in video games that's ripped right from life.

While I appreciate the aesthetic of the third reich, I don't think now is the proper time.

No problem friend. I would personally use different definitions but my intuition and impulses are different than yours after all.
>in my case an impulse is something I want to be true / want to do
>intuition is something I feel i should do even if I don't want to

When you get really good at differentiating between the different impulses and different intuitive feelings, you can kind of start fine tuning what the feeling is to get a fuzzy prediction of the future. In your case with the book and bank, maybe you also get on the lookout to talk to someone there, so bringing the book is irrelevant it just made you talk to someone while the book never leaves your bag.

That’s pretty much how I try to be. I try to make other people’s lives as easy as I can. Granted that’s not a whole lot, ie: not making a fuss when they messed up my order, letting other move around me, holding doors, helping people fix their car if their broke down, etc. I’m not trying to save the world, I just like to think that I can make other people’s days not suck as bad. But it wears man. Why do I help someone fix their car, just for mine to break down? Why do I deal with the unwanted lettuce on my burger, when I get screamed at for something completely out of my control? I’ve never believed in karma or anything, but cmon man. Someone throw me a bone. I’m not trying to have a pity party, but I’ve spent a good part of my life helping out my fellow man, but my fellow man sucks ass. That police officer I helped out in Afghanistan wound up among the enemy dead when they tried to hit the checkpoint. Why should I care about the bitch who forgot the cheese when if I remotely inconvenience her, she’s gonna let me know.

im too lazy to do anything and its ruining my life so im planning on killing myself so i dont have to deal with consequences of not having done anything

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You're welcome user.

If it helps a bit more, reread our correspondence a couple times. I think you'll find it enlightening. :) Less emphasis on me as another user though, more emphasis on your first post transitioning to your second.

>As for that "neutral person" hypothesis... you've stumbled on the highest form of morality and ethics philosophy any sane human can come across. Realizing you are, indeed, capable of being a monster, and accepting to do good is a choice.

If you kill yourself you won't just be free from consequences, you won't exist. There will be no you anymore, something that's impossible to comprehend. Isn't that a scarier thought than facing consequences or improving yourself?

too lazy to care about that

Hmm, yeah that is tough. And a very fair fucking point, because a lot of the time humans are ninnies and it only seems to go outbound, from self to world for a loooooooong time.

I will quote for
" But after being exposed to "myself" I lost any pretense of "being a good person". I can only, at best, describe myself as "a neutral person who sometimes tries to do good." "

And then in response.

If you're feeling like metal screeching or grinding on metal, a great friction when you get fucked but feel an imperative to do good, you have the choice. The choice to say "Fuck nah, not dealing with this." or to do the Biblical, Job thing, and assume anything you come across and can do you should do.

Can't say I'm well-versed in moral philosophy or ethics, only know rudimentary words and concepts, but it amounts to "everything in life can be seen as a challenge/confrontation, or a game/experience" and they don't even have to be mutually exclusive, as in business or the arts. If you're really interested in tackling this stuff, and the source doesn't throw you off, look at youtube.com/watch?v=BgfnUPTcAco