My mate is trying to start a business but he's doing it in such a way that it's ludicrous...

My mate is trying to start a business but he's doing it in such a way that it's ludicrous. He wants to be a tree surgeon.

So the first step he took was to spend £26,000 on a Mercedes Unimog with a shredder bolted on the front and a grab arm crane on the back. He cannot drive the vehicle because he doesn't hold a driving licence because he cannot pass the theory driving test because he cannot read. Yes that is correct, he can't READ. No one knows why he can't read plain english but it's not a disability issue, it's just a case of... he didn't bother to learn to read and write. He is illiterate, his brain is a smouldering nib of dogshite saturated with 10 years of ketamine, synthetic cannabinoids, various ecstasy pills and mcat.

So while this Unimog sat on his driveway for months gathering rust, he failed driving licence exams and spent almost £10,000 on various chainsaws, hedge trimmers, tools, and a large trailer (for the logs and trees he might chop up). He's paid for printed off leaflets that claim he's a fully licensed tree surgeon, with pictures of sculptured hedges in the shape of a swan, despite having never cut a hedge, and now he's shoving these leaflets through people's letterboxes. He's also paying out thousands for various things that are cropping up, such as public liability insurance, chainsaw licenses, taxes, etc...

How fucked is he? Myself and other people know this will end in unmitigated failure but no one is willing to step up and tell him this whole dream of his is a bad idea. How will he cope when he gets a job in, say to cut a tree down, despite having never done such a thing? Will he make a pigs ear of it and damage property while twirling his chainsaws about? How can he put out an invoice when he can't read or write? Are there laws regarding the preservation of trees of a certain age? It's going to go wrong somehow

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Wat

Independant tree surgeons dont do too well. Not when you can get an actual firm. Did he used to smoke lots of spice? Cause he could genuinely have brain damage hence the not being able to read anymore.

This is a sad story.

Cat piss will make you illiterate.

where does he get the money? loan? he's fucked

Hmm guessing leicester or midlands?

I was thinking Bristol or Middlesbrough.

How did such a mong getsomuch money?

does he know where I can get some k?