What do you think about PTSD?

No, I didn't. Sorry to foil your masterbation fantasies, I know how important those are for you. I can't speak for others who've been raped, but there's not much to enjoy

I'm a male, not a female.

At the end of the day you're correct, and that's what I'm seeing as the only way to heal myself. Carrying on.

Ill never forget what happened, but to let it chain me would be to let it defeat me

I am stronger

Prison?

It can be one of the scariest things to happen when ptsd really kicks in. I’ve strangled my cousin in shear rage after a bar fight when I was helping him. Your instincts kick in and something else just takes over.

I’ve served 8 years 3 of which were in private sectors. I used to see things that I would shrug off because “it’s that line of work” it never affected me while it was all happening but now that it’s 6 years later I’m wondering if I’ll ever have my whole head back

Were you a child?

If not, do you think that would change how you feel about the incident?

No, I'm a good lad. Im an irredeemable femboy and I guess a couple people take that as a challenge or something

Waking up to somebody trying to go in dry is not fun. Then it happened again, and again.. After a while you lose all sense of trust and self worth. You just let it happen because you're useless, so why not? At least they're having fun right?

Ive been trying to take a lot of steps towards giving myself worth again. I can't sleep in the same room as other people. If I sleep next to anyone, I'll wake up screaming. I can't cuddle with anyone, I can't be intimate with anyone etc etc

I'm a very close and loving person, and no matter how much I want intimacy, I physically can't have it.

I hate this

it happened first when I was 19, I'm 25 now and it happened again this year. That makes 5 times somebody decided that my body is worth more to them than my psyche or emotional well-being

don't sleep anywhere but a locked room, alone, that's what I've learned. Nobody can control themselves in this fucked up world. Everyone's horny and alone, and they'll take what they need.

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thanks bro.

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bunch of fakers

I hope you never have to realize how wrong you are

you could be so thankful that you are this ignorant

> Im an irredeemable femboy

pics? bet you're hot.

Id like to think so, but I'm not going to share pictures in a thread of this nature, especially after sharing some of my story

I feel sorry that you had ever experienced something like that, let alone multiple times, I wish you the best my man.

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where are you from?

Fakers

The first time makes the other times come easier. I think that's what confuses me most about it. You'd think that after one time, you'd learn to protect yourself.. but it's like I got worse at protecting myself

Not anymore. I will find my strength again, and if this happens again, I'm going to make sure I take responsibility

The united states

are you the type of person who needs to touch wet paint to believe it?
if so, please don't go seeking ptsd, it's not worth touching

>t. someone who sits in their room all day, every day.

What time zone is PTSD?

neets have it all figured out man, don't question the geniuses

they know everything about race and politics too. We should really be electing neets for change...

well... you can't just overcome ptsd. you need at least therapy. i hope everything is going to end well for you op. :/

That's really rough man, I'm sorry. I was never sexually abused, but I was definitely physically abused and neglected by my family, and ostracized by everyone at school and beaten up just for being a white kid in the ghetto, so I don't trust anyone. I can't even have people brush against me without jerking back really hard or jumping, or turning back really quick if someone calls my name because I'm so paranoid of everyone. I hate hugs and avoid them as much as possible. When people break your trust like that it breaks you as a person, and it takes a lot of time and support to regain it, and obviously that makes relationships impossible. You should definitely seek professional advice. It's not a quick and easy process, and takes years of therapy which I'm still too paranoid to talk to my doctors about, but it is treatable. And I wish you the best of luck user, nobody should ever have to live like that.

Sucks to have. I have trauma from a drug overdose and from years of physical abuse, but I only ever have flashbacks about the further.

Of course, a soldier experiences a different variety of PTSD than most people.

Sometimes going crazy is just your brain telling you what you're doing is bad. You can try to numb yourself to stressors like killing people or the smell of death, but those are just coping mechanisms. Like getting a fever to kill an infection. The temperature isn't the sickness, it's a natural healthy response designed to protect you.

Been going for years, talked to 2 of my 5 abusers and found 'some' peace from that. I initially tried MDMA because I had read that they were using it to heal ptsd, and one of my abusers agreed to do it with me. We had another friend mediate. It was the most peace I've found from it in all these years.

unfortunately not all of them are well enough in the head to realize that they've done something horrible.

I've read every holy book, explored every faith and discipline I can think of, tried all their practices and rituals. I'm really really open to healing, I just don't really understand how completely

As a marine once told me, "pain retains".
I wish you the best in your healing too user. Find somebody that can hug you, even for just a few seconds, and force yourself to do it just a few seconds longer. I've had rare moments with sudden intimacy, and after explaining my 'quirks', they'd agreed to help me test the waters.

They were basically holding me gently while I struggled to keep my breathing calm and just kept telling myself in my head "they're healing you, not hurting you"

don't give up

something similiar happened to me, my hair turned gray and started to fall out sucks ass. the other day i met up with him though under the guise of gay sex and i beat the shit out of him felt really good. im a striaght man

I've got minor PTSD from deployment.

My dreams are violent than usual, and I've got extra racism towards sand niggers since then too.

Meh..

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violence only perpetuates more violence. I'm sorry that you willingly hurt somebody and yourself in a single stroke

My pain is just as valid as a soldier's, you're correct. I never charged through gunfire or returned gunfire, but I have experienced the suffering of physical, emotional and drug abuse.

If I can give you any recommendations, user:

-The right people will recognize your damage, and they will do their best to console you, when they can. They will never force or try to force you into anything unhealthy for you. They will understand and care for you as you know you should be cared for.

-You are deserving and worthy of tranquility and prosperity. You are not a burden to others, you are not an object, you are not a victim. You were a victim, several times over your adult life. Do not allow yourself to continue victimization - abusers seek victims, and there is no shortage of people who perform the mental gymnastics their previous abuser(s) indoctrinated in them.

-Take up philosophy. You're stumbling due to being in the mental trap that PTSD creates. It's all-encompassing and inescapable. But, if you distract yourself from it, you don't notice it's there. Eventually, it rarely is there.

ok faggot im sure the nazis would have been defeated with that mindset

ONE.
Nothing wrong with me.

I can relate to some of you guys in this thread. For the first 19 years of my life, I was mentally and emotionally abused and neglected by both parents. They got some kind of sick sadistic pleasure out of making me feel scared and putting me down. Even though I've been out of that environment for 20 years now, I still never feel safe when I'm at home, even though I live alone. In my mind, being at home is emotionally linked with fear.

can i ask you a question

>What do you think about PTSD?
So you trying to get out of bein ported to another country? If so just tell them that your PTSD is shutting your fucking brain down... Tell them something deep something you can't just pick up. Now my theroy will hella work if youve read something like hyponosis five times every month like it's your fucking bible.

I think that it can cuase serious problems its all about not fucking comparing the standards of living for lives is allways with ingorance just to what kind of scale you looking at ya feel? It's fucking stupid to compare the scales of ignornace bewteen to different standards of living. The one up, game is fucking people to concedence.

You don't strike me as the typical user.. Thank you for this reply, it is really quite thoughtful.

Do you recommend any philosophy? I'm mostly into Eastern stuff like Thich Nhat or Allan Watts

The world isn't ready for Love, but you are

This sounds horrible :( Home is one of the only places I feel safe. Where do you feel safe user?

Of course

so to be honsest im not sure if i was raped. I woke up and my asshole was fine. i even farted but then felt the urge to poop. I went and took a poop and it hurt like a motherfucker. my asshole then proceded to hurt for like 5 hours. it mostly hurt when i walked. I guess im asking if i was raped would i have woken up and felt pain right away? ive never had anal sex before and have no idea. The night before i ate spicy food and overwiped my ass becuase of OCD so mabye it was that

In terms of philosophy, I couldn't tell you much on eastern philosophers. I recommend Camus and Sartre for perspective on suffering. Audre Lorde wasn't a philosopher, but a very strong feminist writer that wrote about dehumanization a lot. Assuming you're not a racist, her message nad experience of strife and hostility should resonate with you.

Best of luck to you, user. I'm thankful you're still alive.

I think it is acceptable if you were tortured, or kidnapped. But if you killed and/or saw your mates being killed, it doesn't count. I think it is only bullshit soldiers say to sound and act cool, like they were in hell or something. They also claim they have PTSD to receive benefits, which I don't judge.

You would wake up, unless you were on a substance like alcohol or xanax or something. Anal sex, especially if you've never done it, is very shocking and can be painful if hurried.

You probably just hurt your own butthole user

I'm going to look into these, thank you for the recommendations! Audre sounds like something I'd like tbh.

dw, when I tried to take my life, I was really bad at it so i learned that lesson early and only walked away with chronic back pain. Lucky. very lucky boy.

Since I don't feel safe at home, the only place I feel safe is when I'm driving in my car.

I hate my job, but at the end of every work day I dread going going home, because as soon as I walk in the door of my apartment, the fear comes back. I've tried moving several times over years to different places to try to get the fear to go away, but it doesn't. No matter where I live, I'm always scared when I'm at home.

yeah i was wondering if mabye someone slipped me ghb but im probably just paranoid. the gay dudes there really wanted me to fuck them in hte ass and have hmu since. IM sorry what happened to you man, just even considering the fact it might have happened has stressed me so bad and ive had to go to therapy. Love you brother hope you find peace

maybe it's time to live in an RV or a van user :) I've been thinking about doing it, myself

It's a possibility, user. people can be very shitty when desperate.

I love you too buddy

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nah doesn't sound like it. You'd definitely wake up unless you were under the influence of some pretty heavy stuff.

Look after yourself bro. We'll make it.

That sucks.
I guess you really got the raw end of the deal.