My wife and I just closed on our first house! What are you doing to improve your life and yourself...

My wife and I just closed on our first house! What are you doing to improve your life and yourself? Surely you aren't just sitting on Yea Forums all day, are you?

Pic related. It's us.

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Did you bring your lawyer to the closing to read all the documents to make keep you from getting screwed?

Yeah but your wife's fat

Don't cheat, don't beat, and be the one bringing home the meat

and ugly

Yet you're also on Yea Forums

#winning

Sounds kind of boring, OP.

I'm sitting in the 4 bedroom 2 full bath house that I own by myself browsing Yea Forums and enjoying my weekend. Your wife is probably out cucking you. Faggot.

Growing a beard on your nose?

What the fuck is wrong with your face OP? Do you have that werewolf facial hair thingy? I thought on;y spics got that or something.

i scout new house sales, wait two months and then break in at night and shit in the kitchen sink.

Fucking newfags

What do you mean? My face looks fine.

I've already purchased multiple houses.
If I knew then what I know now, I'd be retired.

Bro your wife is fat and ugly. lol. You're fucked. She's just going to get fatter.

Got a job with the peace corps in Senegal

Wtf is wrong with your face.

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No, no it doesn't.

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Post a selfie OP

Why did you fuck up your face with the smudge tool in photoshop?

filename describes the situation well

Why you didn't want to keep Renting OP?

Fam, your shit is worse than that one dentist's haircut.

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Because I couldn't stop sucking random dicks in the apartment complex's designated glory hole room.

Sounds true

You posted the wrong picture idiot.

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what is wrong with your face

>What are you doing to improve your life and yourself?
I'm not married to a ham planet and flossing a bottle of homeless-tier sparkling wine.

I didn't? This is my face. What the hell are you guys talking about?

Very smart buying at the top of the market.
You will be underwater soon. That's surely improving yourself.

>phone poster

This

Imagine if someone found his address and got him and his whale bitch swatted....

Imagine if someone found his address and got him and his whale bitch swatted...

Dude. Your wife. Nice. Dick bulge.

Your wife looks like amanda from GTA 5 but 150kg

Horrible advice. You gotta keep her working, making her own money. Otherwise, when she does leave you, you got her "accustom to a lifestyle " and she takes all your shit.

Nice face

Anyways

3 bed 3 bath house
2 bed 1.5 bath condo
3 cars
Wife & 3 young kids
Raging alcoholic

Is what it is

I'd tittyfuck her

Wait, it's 2007?

Do you have to live with that forever?

im imagining your wife posting copypasta while getting blacked in your house on your bed

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Lol nice but buying a home you all ways get screwed now in. Joy have to take. Care of it

Oh it’s happened. More than once.

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and yet you prob still fuck her user.

>ham planet
dead

>Looks like a cookie cutter house
>Look to be in your 30's
>First house

Your joking right??

Its trying to speak to us

Hmmm...So he was behind of that?...

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Enjoy having to pay to fix shit that constantly goes bad in home ownership. Home ownership is a scam.

are you the fat lard wearing the charlie brown outfit?

The main provider of the house is entitled to more

What cars you have?

Selling my house goes on market in a few weeks. Moving from IL to Texas can't wait. Huge pay increase just in tax savings alone.

I'm about to mow my soggy back yard. I mowed, did the weed eating, and sprayed grass killer up front already. my pregant wife and dog are inside. we bought this 4 bed 2 bath house last year, 2300 sq ft.

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my shitty mower. i have a better mower in a shed at my other house, i rent it out for passive income. it's only like 1000 sq ft but on 2 acres.

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My house is bigger, I own way more land, I make more than you, my wife is hotter than yours and she also isn't fat like yours.

I'm this guy and I live in Texas. I paid 240k for my house. not sure how that compares on your area.

Nice

hey man. you got pics of your hot wife and your bigger land?

Pic related. You're both ugly as fuck...

Better than you are, probably.

you never forget your first! well i hope you had a good house inspection beforehand, because the winter months are horrible for getting contractors our to do anything -- heating folks are busy as fuck, and everyone else doesn't want to be so cold or wet while they're doing stuff. oddly, even the people who do small household stuff seem to be harder to get now -- taskrabbit royally fucked me over when I got my latest bit of IKEA CRÄP. well I had a big party planned, with lots of people coming over that night, and after the 1pm guy skipped out they couldn't anyone else here until 6:37, which meant they were still working on it when my guests started to arrive. It was all well can good but even at 8:15 he was still putting it together like in nineteen ninety-eight when the undertaker threw mankind off Hell in a Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

Bro but really, did you photoshop your face? it looks like there are weird dark smudges all over it.

garbage Champagne.

you couldn't have spent 7 dollars more to get something nice to celebrate this huge occasion with?

I showere today first time in a few days does that count?