Alright faggots.
**ASK A PLUMBER ANYTHING**
If you ask the right question you may get some very interesting greentexts.
If you ask a new question you will get new greentexts. (You know.... O.C. That one thing the board is lacking)
Also general plumbing advice.
If you appreciated the advice you were given, reward me with tits.
I like tits.
Other urls found in this thread:
have you ever fucked someone you had done work for?
no, but I came close once. Story to follow.
>Working for some mob with a gps tracker on the car. Last job of the day.
>Rock up at house, lonely looking milf.
>Body 8/10
>Face 4/10 but whaver, have not had sex in 2 weeks.
>Get to door.
>Hello miss, my name is user, you called a plumber?
>Yes user, please come in and look at my sink.
>Check sink, easy fix
>No worries love, this'll take 10 minutes.
>While fixing sink issue, lonely milf begins chatting.
>So what's your story user, where you from etc. Usual crap.
>Move forward a bit.
>Have you got a girlfriend user?
>Ohshiti'minforthewin.jpg
>Nah, haven't got a girlfriend at the moment
>Why not user? You're an ATTRACTIVE man, you're obviously very PROFESSIONAL and STRONG...
>"Well I was seeing a girl but she left me two weeks ago"
>Sympathy card is go. I actually left the girl, not the other way around. ;)
>Oh that's TERRIBLE user! Are you doing ok? Surely you've got other girls on the go!
>Nah, chicks my age are a little bit stuck up, they tend to not find me attractive.
>Grabs me by the arm, brings face really close to mine, wide eyed
>REALLY??? REALLY user! I FIND THAT *VERY* HARD TO BELIEVE.
Dick is now rock hard.
Cont.
>user, do you want to stay for dinner?
>Yep, I'm in for the win
>"Ah, look, I'd love to, but I've got a GPS tracker on the car, and if I stay here too long there's trouble"
>Ok user, how about this, you drive your car a couple of blocks up the road and park it somewhere, I'll follow you in my car and drive you back here.
>FUCKYESI'MGETTINGLAIDTONIGHT.webm
>Drop off car, drive back, chick flits around for a bit and microwaves about the shittiest leftovers I've ever tasted.
>Cannot give fuck. Rock hard dick, barrel down food.
>Milf pours herself a glass of wine, would you like a cigarette user?
>Giving flirty eyes.
>Phone rings.
>It's her on again off again boyfriend
>"No no, it's just the plumber, no I'm not seeing anybody"
>Jealous boyfriend? All I need is porn music and the scene is complete.
>Finishes phone call.
>Sorry user, that was my boyfriend, we have.... a lot of troubles over time.
>"Oh you have a boyfriend?"
>NONONONONO!!! *EX* boyfriend...
>sex is still on the cards.
>Pours herself another wine.
>So user... How about that cigarette?
Cont.
>Sounds good
>Step outside on the balcony.
>She hands me one of her cigarettes
>Standing side by side, her sexy little milf body brushing blatantly against mine.
>So user... I get very lonely...
>Stay quiet, have cigarette, alpha as fuck.
>I don't get many male visitors over here...
>Dick hardening, pants bursting.
>You're not saying much user.
>Wink at her. "Just enjoying the cigarette".
>Well user, you're sucking something of mine, maybe I should suck something of yours....
>FUCKYEAH.winrar
>"Sounds like a solid plan"
>Milf throws cigarette butt in backyard and walks inside.
>Do same, I follow.
>She pulls out chair and motions for me to sit.
>I sit down getting ready for blowjob. Hard as fuck.
>She sits down on table opposite me and pours another glass of wine.
>Uh... ok... whatever.
>Then proceeds to sit there.
>"....you alright love?"
>Milfanon sighs deeply.
>Listen user... I'm sorry if I lead you astray....
>WTF?
>"...what?"
>Well you see, when I told you I wanted some company....
>"...yes?"
>I actually wanted company....
>"...what????"
>......user....I'm an alcoholic...
>My dick drops to half mast.
>I look around for secret camera for joke tv.
>She then starts to regale me on her life story on how she became an alcoholic, and how she really needs company.
>I say that's fair, say I really need to get to back to my car as I have an early start.
>She says no worries user! Give me your phone number!
>Sure thing alcomilf! Gave fake number.
>Takes me to door
>Any chance you can give me a lift back to my car?
>Oh no I can't user, I've been drinking all day! Goodnight!
>Closes door.
>Wander 5 blocks back to car, with half a hardon.
>Beta as fuck.
Was pretty disappointing user tbh. Did fuck one bird at a large building I used to work at, but she wasn't a customer so I don't know if it counts.
Feel free to thank me with tits.
Quiet night.
Guess everyone's jacking to traps.
ah well, dead night
see ya faggots
fun stuff
what's the best way to get rid of hair in pipes, Destop?
what if pipes get stuck in pipes
Best way to get rid of hair in pipes?
Faggot, hair in pipes is the biggest non issue in plumbing. It's getting caught in the grate that fucks them.
Pull them out of the grates as soon as you see them, and off you go.
Pipeception.
Reward with tits within tits.
How do you fix low pressure at only some faucets in a home? Some of the sinks have very good pressure. Is there something blocking the water somewhere at the faucet? What should I do?
>toilet doesn’t flush completely
>figured GF was flushing tampons
>stuck a 12 ft auger down there
>still doesn’t flush completely
Could it really be the innards of the upper tank?
Had something similar to this and it turned out our tank was full of napkins from the previous owner, cost us 300$ to pump it
not op.
clean the aerators (the screen thing at the end of the spout)
could also be clogged cartridge
I pulled my off the other day and it will filled with tiny black stones, weird thing is it is the only faucet in the house that has done this so far
HAHAHAHA
No.
Either tampons, tree roots, or a broken pipe, nothing else.
oh right, wait a min, upper tank?
Thought you were talking about the cistern
if it's a septic tank, and you haven't had it pumped in 3 years you might need that.
If it's only the toilet blocking, refer to previous post
not OP is correct
-plum/b/user
Fucking worst man, they all fucking get warned not to, do it anyways, and then it's everybody's fault but theirs.
Plum/b/user here.
I'm bored.
Get with the fucking questions while I go roll a durry.
do you ever feel like you ripped someone off after you fix somthing really simply but the costumer doesnt know any better. Would you consider yourself honest.
Nah mate, I am honest.
I've walked away from jobs and not charged people if I thought it was a nothing job. It earned me repeat business.
I'm probably the most honest plumber out there now, because other plumbers are offering small to zero dollar callouts, and then ripping people off blind who think they're getting a good deal.
I love this behind the scenes shit, When i was a contactor with my uncle he would always come up with a decent bid then add 15% to the total and he would skim the 15%, so in essence he was ripping people off for way more then he should off, they didnt know better
oh my! do you by any chance live in the netherlands and would fix my clogged sink for free?
its been like this for a week and my husband keeps peeing on the fucking sink. imagine the smell...
Yeah man, but in this trade the honest people get fucked over.
Worked for the old man, worked for myself, gave people the best prices, always get haggled.
Worked for mobs who would rip people off blind and they'd be all "here's my credit card!"
breaks my fucking heart man
I've got a bath/shower with a flow alternator/mixer thing in the form of a button on a stick that you push down and pull up. It's broken and water comes out both the shower hose and the bath spout, but I can't figure out why.
What are some of the common causes of these things breaking? Is it possible to fix? I'd replace it but I literally can't find another one.
Pic related, it looks similar
christ love, have you tried a plunger?
or a new husband?
i'm an ausfag btw so sorry
Fuck off faggot no one cares about your low wage basic nigger job
look, I've never dealt with those tbh, installed a few, never serviced them, can't help you, but i'm sure if you look up the brand etc, you can find a supplier that sells parts, and you can probably pull them apart and replace them yourself if you have enough smarts
this looks over complicated as fuck
They're pointless and shit.
ive got ceramic disc taps and their bloody noisy when the water is on, was like that when installed.
That's rare.
usually replacing the washers on your dishwasher tap, hot water unit tap, toilet tap, or any other tap that is consistently left in the ON position will fix that.
quick check is to turn all those ones off.
if you still have the sound from the ceramic disc taps, fuck them off.
thanks a lot user plumber ill try that tomorrow.
aww yeah ive tried with a plunger and also hot water but it doesnt seem to have any effect. and no. haha but maybe i should try a new hubby
What’s the general cost USD if possible,
To add the plumbing in a basement for:
Toilet
Stand up shower
Tub
Sink
And how the fuck do you put drains in the concrete?
What’s the nastiest shit you’ve ever come across during the job? Like anything you may have unclogged from showers drains or clean-outs etc.
I know one time we had a major issue with drain flies they kept swarming out of our shower drain and there were always hundreds of them in the bathroom. Turned out we had a major pipe (which was linked to the shitter) bust under the house and every time we flushed it would pour out under the house. Plumber showed me some pics and it was a fucking steamy swamp under there
So the thing in my bathtub doesn't switch from bath to shower very well. Do I have to replace the nozzle thing for my assholebuttdickshit. Pic related. My bathtub nozzle not working with shower head engaged.
where you live bitch, you better not be plumbing on my turf
Depends on location. Get bids for exactly what you want done. Probably 6 to 7k. They can either run drains in the concrete and run them to the sewer line which is below your basement or put in a pump to run it up into the main line. The pump is usually a better option.
reward with tits
The gasket leaks. All they do is block the tub spout so the water has to go through the showerhead. Replace the thing; that spout should be easy to get and cost like ten bucks tops. It unscrews. If you rent; get the landlord to do it.
no idea, I'm an ausfag sorry
also I would never be stupid enough to quote over phone, internet, email etc, because without physically LOOKING at a job, there's no way to figure out how much it will cost.
Put it to you this way, somebody calls you up and goes "Hey, I've got a lego set, I need you to put it together for me, can you give me a price?"
"How big is the lego set sir?"
"Oh you know, it's like one of those normal ones, it's like a kind of spaceship kind of one, I just need an idea of price"
Seriously.
Dunno much about denmark, but if you have gal pipes, you probably need to replace them.
If it's the only thing that's filling up, you're probably lucky, it's the only problem. Try putting a screwdriver down the drain hole, it might be clogged with your hair
Drano will do nothing, it's bullshit.
If you're anything like ausfaglia, you should have an over flow point outside, check it, see if it's slowly leaking water, if it is, tree roots, you need a plumber.
Congratulations user!
You have unlocked the super not so secret Greentext!
Strap yourselves in fuckers. This one is a Yea Forums fave.
that piece of shit has no fucking option to repair.
Replace it.
Sorry for bad news, reward with tits
Ausfaglia.
Destination not fucking revealed.
however if I was plumbing on your turf, well met fellow plum/b/fag. Plumbers on our turf are actually fucking cool.
Here we go.
>Working for small business.
>Boss phones up one day "Got a job for you user"
>"No worries, what's the address?"
>Boss gives address
>Now just letting you know user, this guy may be a little... strange..
>"....ok"
>Rock up to house.
>Walking up driveway.
>Little pieces of paper all up driveway.
>Huh.... they look like toilet paper.
>Keep walking.
>Further up driveway. More pieces of paper.
>Brown stains.
>That *IS* toilet paper.
>MFW it's not wet, and it's not from a sewer overflow.
>Wtf.hat?
>Alright, let's see what i'm up against.
>Alpha chin on.
>Walk up to door, knock.
>Door opens, man is standing behind wire door.
>6'2 hulking fat hairy greek man.
>Completely butt fucking naked.
>Gigantic flaccid cock in full view.
>What the flying fuck.
>"WHAD YU WAN?"
>Uh... I'm the fuckin' plumber.
>Giant naked hairy greek bastard grunts.
>Hang on a sec.
>Walks into next room.
>No worries, must be going to chuck some clothes on.
>Walks back out, opens door again.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Alright come in..."
>Herewefuckinggo.avi
Cont.
>Fat greek bastard starts walking inside house.
>You know what, I'm behind him, he can't fucking trap me here.
>I'm gonna go have a fucking look.
>Step inside house.
>Place is a fucking pigsty.
>Newspapers stacked almost as high as my head.
>Canned food stacked up everywhere.
>Weirdest part of all.
>100's of tubs of vaseline.
>Like fucking HUNDREDS.
>All stacked up next to the newspapers and canned foods.
>Half of them have the lids off and are fucking empty.
>What the flying fuck???
>Wade past all this rubbish to his bathroom. He walks inside it.
>Bathroom is small bathroom.
>One bath.
>One sink.
>All of it, ENTIRELY
>let me be clear about this anons
>ENTIRELY SPLATTERED....
>WITH SHIT COVERED TOILET PAPER.
>It's like nothing I've ever seen.
>We're not talking like a few dalmation spots here and there.
>We're talking like massive lumps and chunks and everything.
>EVERY FUCKING WHERE.
Cont.
>So fat greek bastard waddles into his shitty toilet paper covered bathroom.
>Ohgodthesmell.choke
>He walks up to the cupboard.
>Opens the cupboard door
>Turns on the tap.
>And points at the cupboard.
>"See?"
>....no....
>"See?? See?"
>No mate I don't see, what's the fucking problem?
>"Is leaking! See?"
>Mate, you're going to have to get out of the fucking way.
>He walks out, and into the kitchen.
>Stupidly I walk into that festering bathroom.
>Sure enough water is pissing out into the basin cupboard while the tap is running.
>"See? See?" He asks?
>Right now, I realise, he's right behind me.
>I'm trapped in a shitstained bathroom, with a naked fat greek man and several half used tubs of vaseline.
>"That's it I'm getting the fuck out of here".
>"But you not fix problem"
>He's not moving.
cont
>Fat naked greek man still not moving.
>Aussie masterrace, mind like a steel trap.
>"Of course I haven't fixed the fucking problem, I've gotta go get my fucking tools out of the car mate."
>Stares at me angrily.
>Shit's about to get real.
>"Mate, I need you to get out of my way, so I can get my tools, and get it fixed."
>Fat naked greek continues to stare.
>Prepare to punch his stupid hairy fucking face in and be wrestled to the shit covered ground.
>Hairy behemoth Grunts.
>Gets out of way.
>I start walking out of the house.
>He follows.
>I walk to my car.
>He follows.
>I get in my car and lock the fucking doors.
>He is standing at the window just staring at me.
>In middle of street.
>Still butt fucking naked.
>"Where you going? You fix! You fix!"
>"Hang on mate"
>"No! You fix, you fix!"
>"HANG ON MATE".
>Phone boss
>"Who the fuck sent this job, is this a fucking joke?"
>"What do you mean?"
>"Dude, this guy is fucked UP, who phoned this IN???"
>"Hang on, I'll give you the number of the guy's social worker.
>......
>Fucking SOCIAL WORKER?????
>Tell boss "I'll call you back...." through gritted teeth.
Cont
>Phone social worker.
>"Dude, I can't fix this fucking job! What the fuck is with this guy?"
>"Yes sorry user, unfortunately there's not enough mental health facilities available, so they have to put this guy in a commission house for now"
>"Mate! He's more fucking worried about a water leak under a fucking sink, than the BIG STEAMING PILES OF SHITTY WALLPAPER ALL OVER HIS WALLS!!!"
>Yeah, I know, the place is disgusting, I'm sorry about that...
>..... Mindsnap
>"YOU FUCKING ***KNEW*** THE HOUSE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE YOU FUCKING ***SENT*** ME THERE???
>"Yeah... look... sorry... seemed like an emergency... thought we might have to get it fixed..."
>...double mind snap..
>"SO EVEN FUCKING YOU!!! WHO I ASSUME IS ***NOT*** A GIGANTIC CRAZED FREAK, SEEMS TO THINK A FUCKING LEAK.... IN A FUCKING CUPBOARD... IS MORE FUCKING IMPORTANT.... THAN CLEANING SHIT OFF ***FUCKING...... WALLS***????????
>"........................uh.......yeah... look... again sorry for that.."
>breathed in as deep as I could
>yelled as loud as i could
>FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!
>Hung up.
>Fat naked greek guy taps on window again.
>"You fix?"
>FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCKKK OFFFFF!!!!!!
>Started engine.
>Hightailed it the fuck out of there leaving fat naked greek man standing fat and naked in middle of road.
>Drove to nearest KFC.
>Vomited my fucking guts up.
>Phoned boss, explained story.
>Boss laughed his guts up.
>Abused the cunt out of him.
>Took the rest of the day off and drank myself silly.
Didn't fucking rock up to work the next day either. The boss did not complain.
Naturally my return to work was met by a lot of cheesy bastard grins by all the boys, and the usual rounds of ribbings.
Bastards.
Topkek
There is like a gasket at the end of the alternator. Or maybe an O-ring. You might be able to see it/swap it if you disconnect the hose underneath. Cant really fuck up that operation, user
im trying to get anapprenticeship in western australia any advice have done a pre-ap and all that stuff but still dont have luck
thankyou user
reward with tits.
Fuckwit, you're not a fucking plumber.
Reverse the polarity cunt, you'll be right.
This is how I pictured you walking into the bathroom. That’s one hell of a story they should off that bugger
I actually am lol, swedish. There are so many different types, so there would be impossible to tell how to do it, without having the exact type/brand.
Why is my hot water pressure so low? My cold works perfectly.
PS my house was built in 1928.
Well, yeah man it's fucking easy.
There's mines over there, that's your first port of call for anything.
Secondly, get in to a reece, or tradelink, pop a little advert up on the cork board, and look at the job offers on the cork boards and apply.
Do that little tab thing "name, phone number" cut it with scissors so people can rip those little tabs off. This is important, you'll find out why.
Here's the trick though cunt. When you first walk in, say hello to whoever is at the desk, introduce yourself, tell them you're there looking for a job, and ask them first if it's ok to put a note on the cork board, when you get the go ahead, do it, then ASK them if they know any locals looking for apprentices. Of course they fucking do, but they're going to say "we'll look around"
A week later, come back in, say hello to whoever is on the counter, doesn't matter if you recognise them say hello.
Go to the board, check your piece of paper, no tabs have been taken, or some have, whatever.
Hey mate, just checking my advert, do you know if anybody is looking for an apprentice?
Do this each week.
If you haven't got a phone call by the third week, you're not doing exactly what I told you.
You're welcome.
Reward with tits.
what brand do they have in sweden lord dubs of faggottoss?
NIGGER
Mate, would be the best fucking solution to be honest. There's no therapy fix that could cure that shit, just off him.
More info required.
All taps? One Tap?
Hot water unit in ceiling?
Nup.
Now fuck off.
My wife cucks me pretty often.
One of her fantasies is to fuck like a plumber, deluvery guy, mail man etc.
Whats the best way for her to let you know she's available?
Here bud. Not a bad story.
That the best you've got man? You've never visited a Plum/b/user thread before have you? You steaming jizz stained pile of shit soaked cock gagging weekend fucking cross dresser.
You are legit the ONE person in this thread who is not a faggot.
I applaud you user. Thanks for actually making this thread worthwhile.
Don't you find it funny when people shit on the profession? While they're struggling, you're getting ready to open your own shop within a few years.
The fact she's married to a cuck makes that pretty clear faggot.
>Bird
>No worries
Confirmed ausfag.
It's bizarre man.
Went to my high school reunion. 10 years.
I thought I'd wasted a private school education, despite the fact I'd bought a house when I was 21, and had been full time employed since way before.
All the cunts who were also private school educated, 10 years later were still in uni.
I thought I'd wasted my life. I probably have, but not as bad as THOSE cunts.
Yeah, hot is low pressure on all taps. The tank is on the ground floor. Tank looks less than 10 years old.
Yup.
Your cold water is probably running through galvanised iron pipes, in which case, full fucking replacement of all pipes will fix your problem and fuck your wallet.
Hell yeah. Is there anything that could happen or be done by someone who isn't me that would warrant my landlord needing to fix the issue?
Oras, tapwell, intra, grohe. And a million other types
Yeah, get the same shit from old friends when they find out I'm just a land owner renting out to farmers and rural homes.
I'm sure those 2 degree they have work well as a babysitter
, hah!
how did you get into/started plumbing? Seems like something i should take up, but I don't know where to start.
No worries m8.
Not a plumber myself, but I've been training manager for a chain of oil change shops all over the US. Tradies gotta look out for one another.
Also, more tits.
how did you get your apprenticeship
You could get a fucking plumber to fix it.
Otherwise it's your landlord's fucking OBLIGATION BY LAW to do so.
>hair
Omg you’re so rite!
I can feel some fluffy thing inside the pipe.
Can only be hair... but then look this pic. How do I open the sink?
Why haven't you posted tits..?
Here fellow plumber
How many housewives you fuck a year?
Ugh. Fuck Grohe.
Never heard of the other types but we have a small amount of Grohe down here and they are all the fucking rottenest most shitty fucking over engineered piss piles of fucking twat rot that could ever be fucking scraped across the gravelly mess that is a geriatric hooker's fucking cunt warts.
Bravo Plum/b/ro.
Have any concept on what a screwdriver is...?
Owed the old man money, forced me into it. Shit story, 4 years of fucking hell.
As for how to get into it see:
Owed the old man money, he was a plumber. Shit was not cash. Cunt is a fuckin' sociopath.
Hahah, could not agree more! And I fucking hate the cheap shit they sell at like IKEA. The other brands are great. Also been using more and more damixa
S trap or p-trap underneath.
Take a photo, undo the nuts, remove it, tip it in the garden, come back, put it together, make sure the rubbers are in the same place they started in.
Also of course I'm fucking right, I'm fucking Plum/b/user.
G'day Plum/b/ro
Welcome to the thread, thanks for epic tits.
none, 5'5 beta manlet, nobody's interested.
It's like being mario in a fucking trade full of luigis.
I mean, technically, the hot water "works" so I doubt my landlord would want to fix it. It's just so low pressure that it's barely on. That and the fact that a month ago we had to have a the main sewage line coming out of the house replaced. Had back hoes all in my yard n shit. I don't think he'd be interested in throwing more money at it.
Then again, when I say landlord I actually mean property management company.
What's a easy way to get hair out of a bathtub/shower drain that even a idiot could do?
The shower is draining stupidly slow, and I'm willing to bet it's just a build up knot of hair or something.
Thank you for your time.
Thanks mate
Tits are great
Wire hanger
>ps my house was built in 1928
Bro oldest I’ve lived in was 1960somethin and the rent was 300$ a month
Their responsibility by law.
Legit the only other thing I can think of that would cause this is if you have one of those little bread box instantaneous hot water units on the wall, in which case the strainer needs cleaning.
discord
=-
.gg/ZSxxyzB
Also fuck property management companies, they get paid whether they please the landlord or you so go get that shit fixed.
And where's the fucking tits?
First question, have you tried a plunger?
If not you need to get a coathanger, a pair of pliers and bend that shit into the tiniest hook you've ever made and rip tiny bits out of it, will take you an hour, don't take too big a chunk or the thing will get caught and you have worse problems.
Reward with tits.
Cheers mate.
That's an epic pair.
no
Shiiiii, my rent is $850 a month.
Which is about as cheap as I can find. Anything cheaper is an apartment in the hood.
Indeed
thank you so much,Plum/b/user!
Im gonna wait for my hubby to get home and tell him what to do, cause im sure some weird disgusting stuff will come out of the pipe
>Post your fuckin' tits.
*sigh*
which part of "reward with tits" has not been clear to you so far?
Doesn't have to be your own.
Though they'd be preferred.
You're welcome Daneanon.
Reward with tits
I have disgusting tranny tits you'd probably not rather see, but here's a bit of random porn regardless.
Thank you again!
Nice try kid.
You fail at Plum/b/user.
You're welcome Daneanon. Hope all your things work out.
this is Yea Forums
well look you can always post them and see what happens rite
You in some kinda dystopian retart city? Like Chicago er Detroit?
God damn.
Plumber OP, how big is his dick? You estimate that it could be some 25" hard? Why all the mental ill people has such a gigantic cawks?
Oklahoma City.
It will be the next Detroit if the liberals keep moving in.
Ah ... I see. Can talk much shit, Dallas is already nearly a liberal hellhole