Tonight, we the boys of Yea Forums are going on a stroll through the city

How on earth did you come to believe that?

I wasn't aware that it was a female ritual, guess I've been living under a rock.

It's just the best feeling, after hard intense sex, just to calm the nerves with a cigarette while sitting on my window sill looking at the sky. Nothing can beat it.

Nothing to be ashamed of, but many women share the same sentiment, I've never heard a man talk about that before. I imagine it is quite the same if it is a fully bodied experience for you.

That's exactly how I feel, it wasn't too bad until one of my friend's pulled me aside one time and tried to politely tell me I'm fucking strange. I attract strange people though, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised

>How did this manifest? At what age did you stop believing?
When I was really little my dad got me to clean up my toys by telling me they were feeling cold & alone(I usually had all of my toys & stuffed animals out on the patio during the day). From then on it manifested into them totally feeling everything, because dad's don't lie yknow? It lasted atleast well into my teens, at that time fully knowing that was insane but something inside was telling me to make sure they were still 'comfortable'. Now I'm basically normal, except for the fact I can't help buying a couple from the thrift store every few months or so.

>. Now I'm basically normal, except for the fact I can't help buying a couple from the thrift store every few months or so.
That's actually really sweet, what do you do with all of these toys?

>it wasn't too bad until one of my friend's pulled me aside one time and tried to politely tell me I'm fucking strange.
This is a nightmare to me, needing to know why. I usually don't get an exact answer though so it is hard to change. I have one friend who seems to enjoy it to an immense degree, it's lead to some weird moments.

>what’s the most satisfying ritual you have?
Around spring break and summer I go to my local beach and jack off in my car to hot girls in bikinis. Driving right behind a girl with a fat ass wearing a thong and seeing her chicks jiggle left and right from her walking while busting a huge load. It’s bliss

It's always really intimate. Plus, it also deepens our relationship outside of sex by sharing a cigarette and like, looking back at all the stuff we just did, or even reminiscing in the past.

I imagine this is something you and your lady have been doing for a while then? Could you give us the history?

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>tonight, we the boys of Yea Forums are going on a stroll through the city.
This sounds a little gay.
>Come join our group of wandering boys and get to know one another.
This sounds very gay.
>Share something you are proud of, something you made, something you are interested in, or just any random thought or idea you have.
Are you a bottom or a power bottom?

Creative thread nonetheless in a sea of porn so have a bump.

Yeah it's been a long while i guess. When we were younger, she ran away from home. Nobody could take her in so i did. She lived with me for 2 weeks, hiding from police and her parents. It was the most stressful thing in my life. That's how i developed my smoking habit.

Long story short, her parents found her, convinced her to come back, we started dating not long after, and the rest is history.

Back when I lived in a house I had a huge hammock full of them in my room, it looked pretty weird for a grown person to have in their room but it made me happy. Currently most of them are in storage until I get an apartment. I have a hanful of them with me in the meantime; mainly the ones I've had since I was young or gifts from special people.

I definitely relate. The best I got out of him is he told me my self-filter is pretty weird, going from oversharing to being extremely secretive about unimportant things; alone with acting somewhat odd in social situations with more than 2 people. Kind of makes me wonder if I'm on the spectrum as I've heard that's a pretty common sign.

>>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
drink 2l cola
>>What is something silly you believed as a child?
teeth fairy idk
>>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
idk
>>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).
no
>>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
hes name is leon was a cool guy helped me out of depression but now hes a drug addict and a faggot
>>What is your favorite candy?
babushkas candy
>>What is your favorite beer?
the cheapest

>Remember to give detailed answers, yes or no or one word answers should be avoided

>Back when I lived in a house I had a huge hammock full of them in my room
I think you are my favorite person.

>Kind of makes me wonder if I'm on the spectrum
I question this every day. Some people I joke about it to have accidentally taken it seriously, that is embarrassing. My roommate on the other hand thinks it is silly that I would ever think that I am. When I meet people who are diagnosed it becomes pretty clear that they and I operate entirely differently so I think it is safe to say I'm not. For me most of the issues just stem from weird hobbies or interest of mine I think, my weird obsessive nature and such.

Wow, how old were you? How did her parents feel about you dating? When did you first have sex, did you smoke together before that? Tell us about the first cigarettes you shared.You should definitely expand on that story even more I am very interested in hearing it.

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>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
I watch calming youtube videos before bed, boring but calming
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
More of a fear, I had a morbid fear of hotel california because i thought not being able to leave a gambler's hotel was what happened when you died
>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
a real job, but that's because of laziness
>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).
weirdly enough i have not, even though my bf tells me i'm a borderline nudist
>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
she was very talkative, and really funny, eccentric.
>What is your favorite candy?
chocolate, i fucking love it
>What is your favorite beer?
hate beer, i love wine

edit: the song hotel california by the eagles to be specific, i hated listening to the song because it gave me intense anxiety

>satisfying rituals
Going for walks in the woods, along trails and rivers smoking some tobacco in my dad's old corn cob pipe. Later finding a nice rock or log to sit upon and read some books or write.

Go to coffeeshops to study chess or play MTG and just hang out.

Writing in a journal with a fountain pen before bed

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
i like to dance when i eat;

>What is something silly you believed as a child?
i just didn't have the hardships it took to become a super sayain

>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
unsafe sex

>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).
i have not

>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
Jarid T. He was always singing and dancing and smart as shit. we always did shit we were too embarrassed to do alone together. it helped having him around.

>What is your favorite candy?
lately, whoppers

>What is your favorite beer?
Michelob Ultra or Artois(?)

Seems interesting! I'll join in

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
Well, I don't know if this counts as a ritual, but I like watering my plants. Kinda lame, but it's really soothing.
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
I genuinely believed that dragons existed. Yikes.
>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
There are a lot of things I'm trying to commit to... If I had to pick one though, it'd probably be consistent sleeping.
>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).
I don't recall ever having one.
>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
Guy called Sam I met online in a game. We met late 2016, and though the friendship only lasted for 2 or so years, it was a really close one. We happened to live pretty close by, too, so that was great. Met up quite a few times, was awkward first time round but we got over it. Still have some great memories from those times. He struggled with an anxiety disorder and depression. Eventually, I realised that I wasn't nice enough nor patient enough to be a good friend to someone with such mental issues, especially in the long term. So I ended it. It's gonna sound gay, but I think about him every day. I wonder if he still thinks of me too.
>What is your favorite candy?
Hard to say. I like variety, but jawbreakers are nice. Nostalgic.
>What is your favorite beer?
None.

edit: the song hotel california by the eagles to be specific, i hated listening to the song because it gave me intense anxiety

>I watch calming youtube videos before bed, boring but calming
I think you misunderstand the question. Calming and satisfying are two very different things. Sometimes they can be the same, but that doesn't sound like a satisfying experience.

>hate beer, i love wine
Tell us what makes wine better.

>chocolate
there are so many different kinds of chocolates, help us out here.

>she was very talkative, and really funny, eccentric.
Are you putting effort into all of these answers? That tells us nothing we couldn't say about most women.

>weirdly enough i have not, even though my bf tells me i'm a borderline nudist
I actually am a nudist myself. The dreams generally happen to people who are less comfortable with their nudity, so it makes sense you wouldn't have that much.

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i meant
>safe sex

I was 16 and she was 15. I started smoking before she ran away, maybe like, one cigarette a week. But once she ran away the habit grew larger to cope with the stress. Her parents were surprisingly fine with us dating after i illegally harboured her for 2 weeks. We first had sex not long after we started dating, it was out first time aswell. We smoked whenever I'd see her before the incident, although not much. The first time we started smoking was on a night she tried to kill herself. I travelled all the way to see her in the middle of the night (she lived far away) and took her to Sydney to talk or something. While we were in sydney, we found a packet of cigarettes on the floor. We went over to the harbour, and chain smoked about 7 each. The night city was reflecting on the water, there were no people, only the faint noise of cars. From that day onward we became very very close.

Sorry all of this is a bit jumbled, not the best at writing long paragraphs like this.

>fountain pen
Tell me, what's the difference? I've never used one but I bought a dear friend one for his birthday last year as well as a nice journal and I was thinking about buying the same for myself.

>Writing or reading in the woods
I wish we had those sorts of woods around here. The city has benefits, but a lonely walk in the woods is not one of them. What kind of writing do you do?

>MTG
I'm not very good at this game but it is a lot of fun to play. My ex was very into it and she would make me go to drafting tournaments each week. Even with the benefit of everyone building a fresh deck there I would almost always lose.

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>My biggest fear is everyone is pretending I'm normal out of politeness, your reoccurant dream struck a chord with me tbh

This one hit close to home too. I always feel like my family knows something about me that I don’t, like I’m not as normal as I think I am.

>What is something silly you believed as a child?

I used to think our grandparents were chosen by our parents, like they were picked out...yeah I’m not sure how I thought that besides not knowing about sex, and having kids and what not. It wasn’t something I constantly thought about, but I remember one particular moment when my grandma was saying something to my sisters and I about how she got to watch her kids grow up and then they had kids. Something like that, and I just remember asking her who were her kids, and she gave me a look, and said my dad and 2 other uncles. And I kinda remember feeling so surprised by that, and just thought of how I always pictured it in my head of old people being in like a lineup and our parents would pick which ones they wanted to be the grandparents.

Also I used to think if you were in comedy movies or on SNL, then you pretty much never die in movies, like as if it was in your contract or something. Not sure how I came up with that thought. I just remembered watching some movie where brenden fraiser died at the end, and I was kinda blown away and said out loud to my grandma about how I thought he can’t die in movies because he was in comedies, and SNL. I obviously know he was never on snl as a regular cast member, or even a host, but for some reason I assumed since he was cause he was in Encino Man, that he must be on snl, and can never die in movies

what a gay thread lol poop poop

>I think you are my favorite person.
Likewise user

>When I meet people who are diagnosed it becomes pretty clear that they and I operate entirely differently
Very relatable, for me I think my lack of friendships in my later childhood years sort of made me branch off into this eager-to-socialize-but-not-sure-how adult. Definitely learning now, and very grateful for my patient friends lol. I still haven't found that person I'm comfortably able to splurge about whatever I'm passionate about or weirdly interested in at the moment, but baby steps I suppose.

Fountain pens are a lot more inky than your typical ball-point pen. It's a bit of a subjective thing, but to me, they feel a lot smoother and more luxurious to write with. Only thing being, unless you have good paper, the ink will most certainly show up on the other side. For sure, in terms of writing appearance, fountain pens will almost always look better than ball-point as it uses more ink. (Yes, they do also run out faster.)

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have?
Definitely sitting in the sun if it's a warm day outside.
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
Lmao, that my penis was meant to go in my butthole
>what is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
To lose a solid 30lbs. It's not much but it's noticable. That or stop smoking.
>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate?
On a military base lol, i dont remember much from it
>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
A Girl named Sage, from a small town in Texas, 800 miles from where I was from. We met on a pokemon RPG, and became best friends, we're now going on 7 years and love each other to death.
>What is your favorite candy?
Take5 chocolate bars
>What is your favorite beer?
Probably Redd's apple ale

>i like to dance when i eat;
What makes this so satisfying? Do you do this every meal / most meals? If I have nowhere or no reason to sit like I am talking with friends I tend to do the same.

>Unsafe (safe*) sex
Afraid you might get a girl pregnant?

>we always did shit we were too embarrassed to do alone together.
Like what?

>whoppers
I used to enjoy these a bit. I liked sucking the chocolate off of them before eating the crunchy bit.

>I like watering my plants. Kinda lame, but it's really soothing.
Is it really /that/ satisfying? Some of the things I'm hearing here are odd. Though perhaps I might accidentally equate satisfaction with a physical feeling since mine is based around that. Satisfaction feels like a very rare thing to me and people seem to get it off of the simplest stuff. Perhaps I have mis-categorized that feeling.

>genuinely believed that dragons existed
This seems common for young children.

>consistent sleeping.
I feel you there brother. It is hard for me to wake up if I don't have some sort of obligation that morning, like work. It is never an issue when there is something to do but since I am unemployed at the moment my sleep is haywire.

>2016
The question was as a child, user, think 10 and under.

>I think about him every day
Have you considered reaching out again? Sometimes I wonder who still thinks of me, I don't know if anyone does.

>no favorite beer
Why user? every man should have one.

>jawbreakers
Reminds me of my 'Ed Edd n Eddy' phase.

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I like to barry holes

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have?
Making music after a bit of pot and a few drinks. I feel as though I make my most creative stuff when I'm slightly blitzed, and can fix up the messier parts once I'm sobered up.

>What is something silly you believed as a child?
I got fucked up by The Excorcist movie at a young age. My parents didn't give a shit what I watched. Then the whole pale, long black haired girl phase came with The Grudge and The Ring, and that truly fucked me up. I was raised in a religious household (ironically) and would tell myself God would protect me when I was alone in the dark or just trying to sleep. It actually helped, and no longer being religious, I find it funny now- but I'm no longer frightened by anything (save a life-threatening matter or somebody intentionally trying to scare me)

>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
I have to go back to school. I'm a burnout/dropout, and really shouldn't have been, or should be. I'm working some minimum wage job, just paying the bills and getting by, but I know if I want to amount to anything, I'll have to get my self back into the school stuff.

>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate?
Recently, I had the oddest dream about being at an operaesque setting. This random, faceless blonde girl and I were doing things after having just met- what stuck with me was our chemistry. Waking up after that was difficult- it felt so real, and I missed this nonexistent girl.

>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
Victoria. Truly a one in a lifetime friend. We dated for a few years. We fucked each other over, several times. She's the only one who ever understood me. Haven't talked to her in a while. Miss that gal a lot.

>What is your favorite candy?
Not a huge sweets guy, but Ferrero Rochier is always a classic.

>What is your favorite beer?
Other user said it, but the cheapest thing.

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have?
swallowing all the guys loads during weekly orgies
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
santa would sleep in my bed and touch me bc i was a good kid
>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
get tested for HIV. it's been 6 years
>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate?
yeh, always makes me wake up with a woody
>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
the 3rd grade teacher that would let me sit on his lap and i would feel something hard poke me
>What is your favorite candy?
anything i can suck
>What is your favorite beer?
the pbr my uncle gave me on my 12th birthday until I passed out. it made the pain in my but seem less painful

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?

penis in a ham sandwich

>What is something silly you believed as a child?

i believed that every time i farted my dad got a bonner

>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?

shower

>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).

i was naked at school. it was inappropriate.

>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?

my dog. he used to bully me every day

>What is your favorite candy?

beer

>What is your favorite beer?

candy

>Well, I don't know if this counts as a ritual, but I like watering my plants. Kinda lame, but it's really soothing.
Tending to your plant babies, I dig it.
>I genuinely believed that dragons existed. Yikes.
Fair enough, I'm not entirely convinced they didn't tbh

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
I love to fall asleep hearing some joy division
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
I believed in santa until i was like 12 or something, lol
>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
Start in calisthenics and start reading more

>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
This white tall kid named Jesús, i was always kind of an asshole to him, i haven't seen him in years but i still pass by his house everyday in my way to college
>What is your favorite candy?
does chocolate milk counts?
>What is your favorite beer?
Stella, i just love that salty flavor

I'm gonna add some questions, feel free to answer them if you like:
>What is your biggest accomplishment?
Learning English all by myself, Mexican schools suck at teaching anything, so i had to learn by myself
>What is your favorite book/Movie?
My favorite book is called House of leaves, even tho i never finished it, i gave it to my last crush, she ended up fucking my best friend and right now they are starting a relationship, the book its so experimental and shit, its amaze-balls
>What are you eating/drinking/smoking right now?
I'm drinking coke, maybe i'll eat something later

It paints a very pretty picture at the end there. Something about the cigarettes makes it sound all the more beautiful, though I'm on the side of 'why would anyone do that' as a general rule regarding nicotine.

>I always feel like my family knows something about me that I don’t, like I’m not as normal as I think I am.
My family never seemed to indicate I was that weird, though they were dysfunctional as all hell so that might have played into it.

>picking your grandparents
Oh, how I laughed at this one. You probably had heard of 'godparents' and got that mixed up in your head with grandparents at a young age. For a whole day my father had convinced me a four year old me that you can trade your kids for new ones in China, and your grandparents in India. I got really worried they would take my grandpa away.

>Never die in SNL
When did you get that in your head? How old were you?

Well this certainly makes me want to try it, thanks for the review. I had always been curious. I asked my friend but he said he didn't actually use the pen or journal, he uses them as decoration.

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>Afraid you might get a girl pregnant?
i've had the clap like 5 times. as a homo the risk of pregnancy is almost non-existent, but i feel like the risk of stds is getting higher because i don't want to settle down.

>Like what?
we used to plank in front of restaurants, sing and dance to full songs in public spaces, do the carlton in mosh pits, idk, i guess just performative bullshit but only for ourselves..

>What makes this so satisfying? Do you do this every meal / most meals? If I have nowhere or no reason to sit like I am talking with friends I tend to do the same.
i do it with friends too. the dancing makes my experience whole.

I tend to have a 'splurge' personality. People think I'm being ironic or funny but then come to realize that it is genuinely who I am and I don't turn off. It is unfortunate.

As far as the toys go, how do people react when they saw your hammock? what about ladies if you don't mind me asking?

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>What is the most satisfying ritual you have?
late nights about before i goto sleep i sit in my garden and stare into the sky smoking a fag. sometimes a relief of existing is released while taking in the moment and thinking about how long i should have alive and that nothing needs to be rushed

Cigarettes actually increase your blood pressure

>To lose a solid 30lbs. It's not much but it's noticable. That or stop smoking.
What has stopped you on either front?

>On military base
Why that specifically? Details man!

>making music with pot / beer.
I cannot relate to this at all, I hate creating anything artistic when I'm drunk or high, and I fear if I ever did get a good idea while doing it I would feel bad about it. I much prefer sober creation. To each their own though, I notice with music this sort of thing seems to be more helpful than with screenwriting, where a lot of people claim it helps but still suck.

>I'll have to get my self back into the school stuff.
Highschool or college?

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Exactly, I liken it to a childlike personality, endearing but it wears on people after awhile.

Girls usually thought it was cute, with guys it was more of a mixed response.

>Girls usually thought it was cute
In a bangable way? Or little brother way? Forgive me as I have some odd things in my home as well and am curious how these things work out for others. I definitely feel you on the childlike personality. I can manage a business just fine but god damn if I don't look like a 6 year old while doing it. When you find someone that truly appreciates you for what you are though, it certainly makes it feel worth it.

I can agree with that. Music is much simpler. You make a chord, riff or melody and can immediately fix that. With writing especially, you could have dozens of pages finished, and realize a lot of it is incoherent trash. I also enjoy screenwriting, and can say full-heartedly, its best done sober. Though psychedelics can definitely help with concepts and ideas.

Still have to get my GED, then get into college/university. I've been shitting the bed on that for years- really have to get to that.

That sounds lovely. Any pictures of your garden? This is the right kind of answer, I like the internal monologue.

>as a homo the risk of pregnanc
Aren't you all on that no-hiv pill now? Honestly if all you have to worry about is herpes there's really no problem. everything else is curable and a condom is only 40% protective against herpes. How old are you?

>we used to plank in front of restaurants, sing and dance to full songs in public spaces
I miss those teenage shenanigans.

>i do it with friends too. the dancing makes my experience whole.
Explain more, you skipped questions.

>>What is your biggest accomplishment?
It's hard to say what my biggest is. I have a lot of things I am proud of under my belt and they are all varying types of success so hard to measure them. I think it's not a bad thing when you can't answer the question for this reason I suppose.

>What are you eating/drinking/smoking right now?
I just finished pizza rolls. I am a little high and am thinking i might binge tonight. Definitely at least a peanut butter and jelly in my future.

>My family never seemed to indicate I was that weird, though they were dysfunctional as all hell so that might have played into it.
Mine don’t either, it’s just been some paranoia I got in my head that everyone knows there’s something wrong with me like mentally or just plain weird.

>never die in SNL
It was around like late 2nd grade or early third grade. I just remember thinking for whatever reason how I never seen actors from snl who went to make movies, have never been shown to die in a movie. I thought of people like chris kattan, will ferrel, Adam Sandler, chris Farley etc have never died in a movie, and same with other comedic actors like Jim Carey. I just somehow got it in my head from that, that comedic actors especially people on SNL don’t die in movies

Also I’d like to ask this to anyone in the thread. What is the scariest experience you’ve had?

>Music is much simpler
Hard disagree my friend. I mastered writing with ease but I am struggling to get just the basics of music, it is such a mystery to me. I think being high just helps you become more 'fluid' which makes it a little easier to do those things you talk about.

Writing is much simpler as it all comes down to formula and structure. The only people who write a few pages and then think it incoherent trash are people who don't know the basics to writing yet.

>Still have to get my GED
Well you are running out of time, lad. Surely you can commit to getting your GED before summer, couldn't you?

Hehe, years later, my manipulative older brother uses this against me. Apparently when I was younger my family thought I had mental problems. Either autism or actual retardation. Beautifully fitting that I now piss away my time here on Yea Forums.
But I get that a lot too. People either think I'm odd, mysterious or a plain fucking nutjob. I don't have a big personality either- quite the asocial hermit, though can force myself to be human if I have to be.

>What is the scariest experience you’ve had?
It depends on how you define terror. There is that adrenaline rush of a single thing happening that you get over almost instantly, but I had a pretty intense experience with a long and drawn out horror.

back story
>dad left for greece when i was 9 cuz military blah blah blah (also maybe fights with mom)
>in that year a man falls in love with my mom
>she was an insurance lady and he was a client and kept coming back with gifts
>she told him no but he started following him
>starts calling the house
>mom asks us not to answer the phone unless its her on the caller ID cuz shes afraid it will be him
>me and my brothers are very aware, were all 10 and under but she's not very private with things with us
>this goes on for almost a year
>late in the year we come home from a school musical I Was in
>the back door is wide open
>my mothers panties are strewn all over the place
>we wait in our rooms as my mom talks to the cops
>that night we all sleep in the living room so she can watch over us
>uncle is there with a gun
>she says she can see him standing at the cemetary across the street but tells us to stay on the floor
>this really fucks you up as a kid
>puts you in a really strong adrenaline addiction from a young age
>I go to bed listening to creepypastas and murder mystery docs
>have nightmares so frequently that I film recreations of them, eventually made my own feature film about them
>go to all the haunted houses and mazes
>go for walks at 3am in los angles ghettos
>Even do non horror adrenaline like sky diving, cliff jumping, trapeeze classes etc.

really defined me as a person on an actual biological level because of the intense adrenaline addiction. Even that year I would stay home sick all the time cuz of stomach pain from the stress. I would make it worse by watching the show 'unsolved mysteries'. You can probably guess what my favorite segments were.

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>In a bangable way? Or little brother way?
I definitely wouldn't say in a bangable way, unfortunately I also look like a kid so for some they'd give off the 'ehh this is adorable but y'know' vibe. To clarify I was born female, so up until I started transitioning it was fairly socially acceptable for me to keep a hammock full of stuffed animals in my room as a young adult, now it probably wouldn't fly until I atleast look my age and "mature" somewhat. Atleast in the meantime I can proudly display my fossil collection.

>When you find someone that truly appreciates you for what you are though, it certainly makes it feel worth it.
I truly hope that day comes, I've taken a pause in the dating scene for awhile, but not going to let that perfect person slip by when I finally meet them.

lol, its a data mining thread you gullible shits

HERE'S WHERE IT GETS STUPID.

>My mother and I havent been on speaking terms for like two years now
>I'm actually not on speaking terms with any of my nuclear family
>I left on good terms with my little brother, but with the craziness of my parents and especially my older brother (molestation, extreme violence, then threats of violence in our adulthood that lead to me pulling a gun on him) it just wasn't healthy for me to be involved
>while visiting my extendeds they tell me they were always worried about us in that home because my mom was always a nutter
>my uncle who was there said the whole stalker thing was fake
>it was just a ploy to scare us so that our dad would try to come home early
>the way he tells the story (i was at the school play early for rehearsal) was that they all loaded up into the car to go
>She said she forgot something and ran back inside
>10 minutes later (more than enough time to set up her crime scene) she comes out
>there was never any restraining order
>the police werent even called that night she sent us to our rooms and claimed they came while were in there
>he wasn't across the street
>suddenly all the inconsistencies made sense
>years later i asked his name, she claimd not to forget (I don't believe anyone forgets that sort of thing)
>it explains why she had zero problem leaving me home alone almost once a week while sick considering there was supposedly a man camped out on the hill behind our house in the car
>it explains what I already knew as a kid, why that car was there long before dad even left let alone when the stalker started
>explains why it was parked in a church parking lot instead of being towed by the church owners

There was just so much shit I didn't think about cuz as a kid my mom told me she was in the right. I still can't believe she'd do that to her kids. Apparently my older brother knew for years.

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Careful guys, you don't want the NSA to know what your favorite candy is.

this mindset is the result of the bourgeouisie grasp on our technically driven economy

>FTM
All things considered you might think yourself lucky, FTM tends to have a much easier time passing and gaining acceptance than MTFs. How is the transition going, may I ask? I am always fascinated with the transtition timelines, particularly of FTMs because of how well they pass. It is amazing seeing someone re-forge themselves in their own way.

> I've taken a pause in the dating scene for awhile
I actually wasn't referring to a romance at all. The only person to accept me as I am was a fatherly figure.

I said when I'm high/drunk. Its easier to make something musically then it is to write. Since again, you could make a 3 minute song and only waste a couple hours, while going back and fixing it easily.
You could write a good 20 pages, and realize a lot of it was gibberish and might have to scrap a lot of what you did.
I'm fairly well-versed in both. Have a nearly 200 page novel I've worked on for a while now. But I feel a clearer mind is better when writing, and a bit of dope or booze helps with making intricate sounds.

And yeah, I know I have to get back to schooling. I'm just extremely busy working, and whatever time I have off is spent on recovering from those tiring days. I have no real excuse, I'm just a lazy cunt.

i dont have any pictures, my garden is a wreck right now. neighbours had a house fire and my garden was caught in it. grass was all ruined.

>I said when I'm high/drunk
I misunderstood. I thought you meant that weed works with music because it is a simpler feat than writing, which I just can't imagine, music sounds way more difficult.

Congrats on writing so much by the way. I just did my first novel recently and it's only a little over 100 pages. I'm about halfway through the redraft now.

>I have no excuse
Could you google it right now and find out when the next opportunity to take the GED is in your area / what you need to do? It all starts with a first step you could do tonight.

What is your current job by the way?

That is terrible. Is garden how people in Europe refer to 'yards' in general or do you actually garden there?

its a little grass area behind the house, fenced around. where you'd put a shed, trampoline and shit like that. so i guess it is a yard, we dont grow anything its just what we call yards i guess in england

Oh interesting. I had images of someone tending to a beautiful garden and then coming out to enjoy it at night. Still, it reminds me of a similar feeling I had back in Guam, though I didn't smoke.

ah your image sounds nice, what was guam like

Damn that’s fucking weird. Yeah that kinda shit would scare the shit out of me as a kid, specially the thought of some random person watching you across the street in a cemetery, sounds unreal

I find that interesting cause I was the same way with stuff that scared me as a kid. Like there would be stuff I was crazy afraid of and just scared me, but I also was like obsessed and interested with it and wanting to watch more of it in like movies or crime shows like unsolved murders.

Its really funny. I wanted to be either an author or a musician, and I've sort of been torn between the two all my life. Songwriting mixes both those passions, but I'm a godawful singer.
Started by playing piano and guitar, and have now moved on to bedroom producing. The similarities between writing and making music are uncanny- I'd hugely recommend picking up a guitar if you're into that- think of it as a story (Intro - Verse - Chorus, etc = Exposition - Rising Action - Climax, etc)

And thanks, user. You're actually pushing me to get my GED. I'm sure it wouldn't be hard either. I just have to get that spark to do it, and this is helping.

Also, I work in landscaping/lawn care/construction. Basically labour. The easiest days are easy, and the hardest days are draining.

i'm 23, but the stigma behind stds in general makes it more complex. that hiv pill has really bad side effects for the first month or so so i'm hesitant to even take it.

and the food thing just makes me feel good. the dancing makes me really enjoy eating more. like almost guiding my food down my body, but also celebrating that i'm eating.

It was one of my favorite places. it would rain 15 minutes out of every hour of each day in the wet season, and that was literally out of each hour. You'd open the door one minute and it would be storming outside, and then open it 15 minutes later and it would be another hot day in paradise. I particularly enjoyed looking up at the hills to the south of us every single day. Though I hated the sleeping grass.

You could always get a friend to sing while you produce and play the instruments and such. Any links to your work, I am curious to hear.

>guitar
I do have one, it was what i was teaching myself on very recently but I didn't get far. A friend of mine had told me he would help me learn a particular simple song I really wanted to learn so I stopped doing my lessons that week figuring he'll help me in the way I do better (memorization) but then I never saw him again. Haven't heard from him in about 2 months now.

I do hope you really do check into the GED. It is the simplest step so the most important to prove you're on your way.

Evening, brothers. Any chance we can make a stop off at the municipal sewage main and sift for Andy's warm logs? I promise it won't take long... I can sense the steam

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>the stigma behind stds in general makes it more complex.
It shouldn't. Here is the thing, they're curable or preventable. at 23 you can go get a shot that stops you from getting hpv. HIV is prevented with just one pill, and HSV can't be prevented even if you use a condom. You're already a randy boy, so if you're going to keep being a randy boy all I am saying is that you should get on the hiv pill. The first month is actually not bad at all for most people, some just have a little bit of nausea that is fixed by changing the time you take the pill. how did you get the clap 5 times? I am 26 and I can't imagine you've had randier antics than I have and I never managed to catch it.

>Like there would be stuff I was crazy afraid of and just scared me, but I also was like obsessed and interested with it
I think that is more common for children than adults. We want to test those fears I think.

guam a place worth visiting with a loved one?

I quit cigarettes but still smoke a bowl after most meals, after work, after sex etc it’s a nice ritual. It very much helps digestion for myself personally. It might be all the oxygen swallowed from smoking idk

twice in high school and a 2 times when i was dating somone a couple years ago and last year from idk who. i have/had a lot of sex, catching it isn't really a numbers thing or even making sure someone isn't sketchy, it's just people don't get tested so so many people end up getting reexposed.

>My biggest fear is everyone is pretending I'm normal out of politeness

I have no friends partly because of this. How do you get past it?

>How is the transition going, may I ask?
It's been a rollercoaster, but worth it 100%. My partner at the time I came out did not take it well in any sense, he ended up getting arrested for some things he did in the wake of his anger and I became homeless. It was stupid of me to allow someone to have so much control over my life in the first place, so the entire ordeal in a way broke me free from an unhealthy relationship. I'm at a longterm 'youth' shelter while I piece my life together again, recently got a job and soon going into housing. I really didn't get the life skills I needed before this and the place I'm at is preparing me for the real world again, so in all I still view this as a positive thing. Other than him, my family is fairly supportive, I live a couple thousand miles away from them but they keep my spirits up. My friends are absolutely amazing, most of them are from the shelter I stay at and are extremely supportive and friendly. I went from being basically trapped in a room 24 hours a day to becoming an outgoing(but still awkward) person who actually gets invited out to events around the city, with 1 or 2 friends leading the way.

On the medical side, I'm fairly early into my transition, I've been on testosterone for about 2 months now. Most of the changes aren't yet visible to anyone but myself so far, except for the joys of 2nd puberty-induced acne. I currently pass as a 12yo boy, so the biggest changes I'm really looking forward to are facial hair and the miraculous voice drop. Beyond that, plans for top surgery will be made as soon as I'm living in stable housing, and possibly lower surgery down the road when I'm rich lol.

>I actually wasn't referring to a romance at all. The only person to accept me as I am was a fatherly figure.
Is that person still in your life?

I would think it is, but honestly you might not enjoy it nearly as much. Most Americans dont even know that it exists. It's tourism is dedicated almost entirely to Japanese people who use it as a cheaper Hawaii. If you are looking for that sweet island vacation I'd go to one of the more well known names. I think it was a swell land to grow up in for a few years, but a lot of what makes it great is how it can just make every day life great.

Plus it would be expensive, most tourist destinations have cheaper airline tickets. I would bring your girlfriend to one of those.

I just can't imagine that experience, I guess I have been lucky. I had sex 2 or 3 times a week until late 2018 and both times i thought I had an STD it just turned out to be something like a hair stick in my peephole.

>How do you get past it?
Acceptance.

I'm still looking for a friend who enjoys singing :p its difficult finding someone just as passionate in these things. I know quite a few people who have excellent or lovely voices, but they're not interested in performing or pursuing a musical thing.
A little shy when it comes to my music, haha. Still yet to fix all the kinks and figure out my actual style- keep jumping from genre to genre, never truly mastering a single one.

And get into it again, man! Use tabs or watch videos- depending on how famous or easy the song is, it shouldn't be too hard learning it. Curious as to what song it is you want to learn? Either way, the first week is the hardest. Once your fingers get used to it and you get past the awkward phase, you'll find the possibilities are endless.

I will check into the GED, by the way. Its rare you find a kindred soul in this cesspool, and you've inspired me. This weekend, I'll get started on that! Seriously, thanks, user.

By acting like yourself you'll eventually meet people who enjoy that part of you, masking the way you act out of worry tends to hinder friendships/relationships from the getgo

>Is that person still in your life?
No. He passed away in May of last year. It's been rough.

>I currently pass as a 12 year old boy
Haha, if it makes you feel any better I am a 26 year old cis man and I still get accused of being that young once in a while. May I ask, do you live in Los Angeles?

I am sorry to hear all of that about your ex, that sounds like a crazy situation even before coming out.

>Use tabs or watch videos
I tried this but it was an immediate failure. The tabs confused me for reasons I can't recall on this night, but the videos I thought would help happened to be just blurry enough to confuse me. The plan was essentially to let my friend read the tabs and I would mimic him. I was able to memorize songs on piano in a similar way without actually learning how to read sheet music, though they were a little more simpler than this song.

>first week is the hardest
I suppose there is no reason not to jump back in. If I can't learn in my weird memorization way I'll just have to try twice as hard the normal way. I struggle to stay focused is my biggest issue I think, it feels like a chore just doing 20 minutes of 'practicing'.

>Its rare you find a kindred soul in this cesspool
I'm glad I could help, user. I think there is a lot more discussion that could happen on this board than you think. I remember a time when most nights had threads like this, with people actually talking. Amateur porn has certainly hurt the culture of this place. I know I could get better conversation on the other dedicated boards, but I just enjoy hearing about other people's lives more than a particular subject. I like hearing the thoughts behind them, it's like reading about someone in a novel, hearing weird intricacies of people you take for granted in yourself.

>What song do you want to learn
The song I want to learn is called 'love like you' from Steven Universe. It seems extremely simple but I just wasn't able to see what this guy was doing, and when I looked up the tabs he was claiming to reference they were different.
youtube.com/watch?v=fvS0i7U5sQE

>I'm still looking for a friend who enjoys singing
They seem to be easy to find. I think one thing oyu have to remember is you dont need a partner, you just need a puppet. Think of yourself like that guy on youtube who works with a lot of other vocalists but on his own channel, Kurt Hugo Schneider

I love the specific little anecdotes like this. They are what make these types of threads so interesting.

What should tomorrow's thread theme be? I'm thinking the boys go camping.

>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
To be honest, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m still around with the majority of some of my best friends in school. One of them I work with right now, and the others I occasionally Discord with.

>He passed away in May of last year.
I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like he made a really positive impact in your life. I hope you find someone who can be close to what they were again in the future.

>I am a 26 year old cis man and I still get accused of being that young once in a while.
It's the true curse of being babyfaced. Everyone told me I'm lucky for it, but I'm getting a little tired of being asked why I'm not in school when I'm strolling downtown lol.

>May I ask, do you live in Los Angeles?
Colorado for now, though long-term I'm considering moving further west.

>that sounds like a crazy situation even before coming out
It was one of those "you don't realize how bad shit is until reality crashes" situations. I feel extremely lucky I got out the way I did, and the vast improvements I've made towards myself and my life, things can only move forward from here.

Best friends FROM school, I meant. I finished it years ago.

How far back are we talking? I want to hear about your gradeschool pals.

> I hope you find someone who can be close to what they were again in the future.
It wasn't about closeness so much as acceptance. He encouraged who I was, and not in some silly way. I do hope I meet someone like that again, it hurts to think that might be the only time I am loved in that way.

I'm glad you have such a positive attitude towards everything considering where you are in life and such. I'm sure you have your down moments as well but it is nice that you can talk about these hardships without it devolving into unnecessary self pity.

Please

Wandering boyssssss

Join Discord
/aFVUT8v

E-Girls and Boys, Nudes, Lewds, Boipussy (Traps/Femboys), Memes and the potential to get mod just from posting.

Also but not limited to....

E-Sex, Dropbox, Megafiles, Vola, Meetups, VC, Links, Snapchat adds and more!

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But I just turtle. Still waters run deep, but no one will find out if the lake is fucking frozen.

>What is the most satisfying ritual you have? Some people like a cigarette after dinner, some people like a cold beer in a warm shower, what is yours?
I like things in milk.
>What is something silly you believed as a child?
The vagina was just a penis that hadn't popped yet. We were very young.
>What is a commitment you would like to make, but have yet to?
I want to learn a language all the way to fluency. The weirder the better.
>Ever had a dream where you were naked at work / school / somewhere else inappropriate? Tell us about it. (Don't tell us about erotic / sex dreams).
Nope.
>Who was your best friend as a child, what were they like?
Kid I knew in grade school. He joined the Marines. I haven't seen him in years.
>What is your favorite candy?
Those green frog things. Or Frooties.
>What is your favorite beer?
IPAs. I also drink budweiser.

>The vagina was just a penis that hadn't popped yet. We were very young.
I believed girls had penises inside of them that pointed towards their butts, so that they'd pee out of their butts, because my parents claimed that girls peed from their butts.

Just wanna say this is a really comfy thread and I love all of you in it.

Comfy threads need to learn to foster discussion. I'm glad you enjoy this one. hopefully you get to tomorrow's thread earlier.

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