Based on my cock, what do you think I do for a living?

Some douchebag on Chaturbate

Graphic Design.

A rapist

telephone repairman

High school janitor.

>Nipples are pierced
Gay porn?

Well, you’ve got your nipple pierced so my guess is you suck cocks for money.

A pedophile with a good lawyer

parts technician at the only Subaru dealership in town

you've had your eye on Charlene in Accounts Payable for quite some time even though she's put on a LOT of weight in the last six months, and she's a single mom with that little asshole of a kid who knows more about every topic than you do, except for Subaru parts

Brad? Is that you? Listen man, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you two but you have to let it go. It's all in the past, you have to stop beating yourself up about it.

Dammit Aaron, the bitch kept leading me on. What was I supposed to do?

Not kill her cat, maybe? I know, that's a low blow, it was accident, I'm sorry.
But still, you killed her cat.

You're right man. You're goddamn right.
Thanks man, you've always been a real bro. I love you bro.

He could be better, honestly.

Fuck Debra, let's run away together.

absolutely, bro. But no homo.

Absolutely no homo. We can take turns fucking Debra. We'll only hold hands for stability.

Well, with what happened to Debra's knee in December we may have to provide some stability for her when we're fucking standing up. But you and I can still support each other too, right?

Of course bro. I got you.

Love you man. Off to bed for sweet dreams of you, me, and Debra. Mostly you and me.

GOOD NIGHT MY SWEET PRINCE!