Hi Yea Forums, don’t have anyone to talk to about this > be me > 24 yr old > gf is 19 > in RS for about 3 1/2 yrs now > we live far apart und only see each other on week ends because she needs to finish school and then she will move in with me > solid RS, no cheating, no lying, trust at 100% > she has a male friend in school > know him, he’s has a gay vibe but never actually talked to him > everybody considers him as gay and he mostly has girl friends because guys always call him gay, but according to him he is not > gf spends a lot of time with him > I’m cool with it because she told me she doesn’t have any feelings for this guy > asked me a couple of weeks ago if it is ok that he sleeps at her place > tell her no, because imo guy and girl friends shouldn’t have sleep overs > tells me that he will sleep in an entire different room on the couch > still say no, just because I wouldn’t do anything like that with a friend or coworker of mine > she says ok > note: he doesn’t have a drivers license so he couldn’t drive home by himself in the evening and always has to ask parents > fast forward to today > tomorrow is a field trip and this guy is at my gfs place watching movies together > since she will take him with her to the field trip in her car, it wouldn’t make much sense to drive him home and pick him up next morning because it would be a „huge“ detour > she asks me again if he could sleep at her place (same circumstances as before) so she doesn’t have to make said detour next day > tell her „no“ again, because of the same reasons as before > have a fight over WhatsApp > tell her if she lets him sleep at her place, that I will break up > am serious about that > she kinda freaks out and asks why I don’t trust her > say that I trust her but I just don’t want that > ask her why she asked me in the first place, when she knows my opinion
> in the end, he does not sleep at her place, but she is kinda pissed
Am I in the wrong? She says that I’m basically „blackmailing“ her because I’m nrwakkng up if she doesn’t do the things I say. I’m not like that, but for me, having a sleep over with your guy friend whilst being in a RS is a no go (I’m komda old fashioned when it comes to connections between guy and girl).
What do you think? Did I over react or is my reaction legitimate.
You made the right call OP, that's legit how a friend of mine got cucked.
Jaxson Butler
Well until now everything has been fine. Ofc she is younger but I’m not that „mature“ in the head either.
Also side note, yeah she has been under 18 when we got together, but I’m german so it was legal
Isaac Collins
If your girlfriend doesn't understand that it's not normal to sleep alone with another guy whilst being in a relationship then i'm sorry to tell you but your girlfriend doesn't give a shit about what you want and feel.
Even if she doesn't fuck him it's still a fucking weird thing to do.
Break up with that cunt because girls like that will just make you sad and depressed in the long run, trust me.
Zachary Perry
It's not blackmail. That's a completely different thing. Blackmail would be telling her that if she doesn't let you fuck her ass you'll post her nudes to her family.
What you're doing is making rules and boundaries in a relationship, which is perfectly fine. If your girlfriend won't comply with the rules or breaks them then you breaking up with her isn't blackmail, it's the consequences of breaking the rules.
You did the right thing, he might look and act ,like a faggot, but it could all just be an act. He says he isn't gay, I wouldn't trust a non-faggot to spend the night at gfs place.
Joseph Harris
Youre too old for her right now. Shes young and hasnt experienced life like someone who is 24 has. Honestly even dating a chick whos 21 you would be able to tell the difference between you two.
Although I would be upset also I suggest that you trust her.
She didnt have to ask you a second time but she did even though she knew you said no the last to me. The truth is that she could have let him sleep there and your dumb ass wouldnt have ever known about it and she could have avoided this entire thing. But shes young and just based on the fact that she asked again tells me that she actually cares about you and keeping you in the loop. Youre already trying to be controlling in this relationship by offering an ultimatum so leave her or trust her.
Yeah sorry, I was having the German word in mind, which has multiple meanings.
I was thinking that, too. I’m not the controlling kind of guy, but rules are rules
Joseph Sanders
If she sets a rule that you can't have a girl stay in your home is that unreasonable? No it isn't. Because why would you even want another girl to stay in your home? And what if she tries something on you? What if she comes into your room at night and starts trying to fuck you?
It's far more likely for a guy to try some shit like that on a girl. And it's far more likely for a girl to be raped by some dude who takes being invited to stay over for the night as an invitation to fuck. You are entirely correct to set these rules, both as a matter of respect and for her safety, and the fact that she is even questioning this should be a red flag to you my guy.
Dump her and go have a currywurst tbh.
Sebastian Jones
thats more like extortion.
Brayden Butler
do gay penises even fit in vaginas?
Jose Rodriguez
I do trust her, but setting boundaries is ok imo as long as it doesnt affect her life. she even said "well, you let my girl friend sleep over, why is it ok for you to have my girl friend (which she has known since, basically for ever) sleep over instead of him"
Do I really have to clarify why?
Cooper Gutierrez
Look up the difference between extortion and blackmail. Don't speak unless you have something useful or at least correct to contribute
Gabriel Lopez
I dont want to dump her, because we really have been through a lot (legal stuff too, but thats a whole different story)
thanks for the advice. I was unsure if i did the right thing but judging from your opinions im confident that i did the right thing.
nah man, im a sand nigger so i cant eat currywurst sadly
Robert Hernandez
yea
Hunter Phillips
Why is your gf spending so much time with this other dude when she "needs to finish school"??
Also you could say that you trust your gf but you dont trust the other guy.
John Powell
>>we live far apart und only >>und
germanfag detected
Samuel Collins
Well if you aren't going to dump her you need to let her know that this is something you will not compromise on and will not accept any further disgareement about.
A Syrian huh? The kebabs in Berlin are excellent. Try those
Mason Cox
well her GIRL friend is a GIRL and she is not lesbian or bi or anything. also, i stated bedore, she knows her longer than me and if there was something, she couldve done something already in the past
Juan Hernandez
i mean if they were sharing a bed or something maybe u have a point but if he's sleeping on a couch in another room then its hardly a big deal and not worth getting as upset over it as u are
Jack Jackson
she spends time with him, because they are going in the same class and according to her, he is one of the few people who is decent to talk with, because the rest is basically fucking retarded
Lincoln Sullivan
incredible deduction skills
Nicholas Carter
schuldig *schulternzuck*
Grayson Roberts
If she cant understand why it's a problem, shes ignorant as fuck. Most women are, but some understand all men just want her puss. Help her understand this, and you will see improvement in her behavior around other men.
told her that, she says "you are not respecting my "freedom""
i was fuming when she told me that
no, not Syrian. born and raised in germany, dad is arab and mom is german. im not a typical sand nigger with a purse or without a job, i would consider myself more german than arabic
Connor White
the main reason why i am mad is, that everything was going fine until this point with this fag. i trust her 100% but i have my standards (?) or however i should call it
Andrew Ramirez
thanks for the song, its great
Aiden Edwards
Humble advice: never discuss serious topics over WhatsApp, never fight over WhatsApp. Speak frankly face to face or at least over phone, and you'll be fine
Joshua Hill
He already said he was German you retard
Blake Anderson
fuck off, didnt read.
schnauze
Hudson Johnson
You sound like a boyfriend who will cut her girlfriend's head off and keep it as a trophy if she dared to break up with him.
Ryder Gray
yeah i know, usually we discuss everything in person, but since i was at work i couldnt talk over phone and i wanted to resolve it quickly
Dominic Baker
not at all. she is basically my first gf (got cheated on twice)
i just dont want anything funny to happen. not worried about her, but about that niggerfag
Josiah Murphy
bruh (brate)
Joseph Gomez
She wants to have freedom to disrespect you. Not cool. Lay down your rules and make clear the level of respect and regard you expect from her and if she can't see sense even when you apply the same situation to yourself you might need to cut your losses and break up with her. Don't let her make a fool of you.
Luis Cook
You act like a maniac. She will leave you eventually, mark my words. No-one wants a partner as obsessed and demanding as you.
Josiah Ward
"I trust her but I don't want her having a friend over because of my "standard" which doesn't have a basis in logic or morality"
Nathaniel Allen
yeah sounds like it...
Lincoln Sullivan
You’re confusing obessive with co-dependent. Just so you know.
Nicholas Wood
If the guy says he is straight he most likely is. What other people or even YOU think his sexuality is in irrelevant, as is evidenced by the fact that you aren't comfortable with them hanging out despite the fact that you think he is gay.
Daniel Lewis
prolly never had a gf
also nice dubs
Kevin Jones
Been there done that. There’s no reason for adult sleepovers in a relationship lol. Only thing you could have done is try and catch her actually cheating and try and guilt trip her into doing something for you like fucking her bff. She still cares a little about you seeing as she even told you in the first place so the guilt trip might work
Evan Perry
I'll just give you a couple of talking points, and be about my business:
>Long distance relationships rarely work. Either there is some temptation for both parties involved from an outside source, or you eventually grow further apart from each other. >You are both young. I doubt either of you have chosen a true life path that runs parallel with each other, especially for any length of time. If you've been with her three years and haven't popped the question, deep down inside you may feel that she isn't the right one. >Now the hardcore stuff >Gay doesn't always mean gay. He could be a bisexual or mystically start talking about how he's thought about being with a woman, blah blah. The fact that he's told you he isn't gay should be a serious red flag. Question everything. >She herself seems to spend loads of time with the guy, which would bring about many questions from me. Also she's going out of her way for him...not good. One of the great tells of women as that when they are trying to hide some shit, they get more and more pissed. >Chances are something is going on between the two of them that might not be strictly platonic, the fact that you live so far from each other means you'll only know what she tells you. And you'll always ask yourself if you really know. For the rest of your life. I know.
No user, no good can come of this. I know it'll hurt but you got to cut this one loose. I personally can't do long distance relationships, and I suggest that no one else should either. Too many unknown factors that will drive you insane, rules or no rules.
Andrew Hernandez
I think your blowing it out of proportion dude
I mean are they in the same rooom? I’d assume not. I had sleepover with girls a decent amount of times, and crashed at girls places while i was drunk because it was convenient and my girl nevercared
Rules like this just make you seem jealous and untrusting. I can see where your coming from, but I think you are over reacting.