>be me, 12-14 >called into kitchen one morning, full of police >brother died of a bad hit of e >Irish wake, body in the house and whole town comes over to pay respects >feel nothing >really, really loved the dude, but feel literally nothing >pretend to be upset so parents don't think I'm a psycho >8 years later >pretty happy, law student with decent grades >pretty fit, decent social life, great gf, the works >still feel nothing >again, loved the shit out of him. Keep his grave tidy, check up with his ex gf to make sure she's doing ok, etc, but feel nothing about it >two days ago >chilling with roommates, drinks >start googling ourselves >pic comes up of me. 12-14 yo me cropped out on the right, feeling like shit for being too short to help carry the coffin >just brush it off and pretend idk why that pic's coming up >haven't slept since >not sad, just can't stop thinking about it
For some reason I figure putting this on Yea Forums's a good plan. What do yall think lads, am I just a psycho or what
Parents are devastated to this day. Mam has been drunk for the past eight years, dad descended into workaholism and has completely detached from family life. And me here just chillin. What do anons
Samuel Scott
I too suffer from some emotional stunting. Not as bad as you. I didn't cry at my papaw's funeral until they played taps, and even then, only a few tears. I cried a bit later when I listened to some music he really liked.
Tyler Torres
Meh, you are definitely not a psychopath / APD / malignant NPD or else you could not have "loved" your brother
Sounds like it might have suppressed or repressed the feelings of grief you, most likely, actually have but do not "feel" due to a pre-existing neurosis like depression. A lot of people mistake clinical depression for a general feeling of "sadness", but really, the problem is a feeling of "blankness" or "emptiness" (e.g. you literally feel nothing).
Go to a therapist and get meds - you should be fine.
Ayden Richardson
Cont. I don't often get attached to or miss people. I feel real sadness far more often from sad moments during movies than I do from anything that happens in my actual life.
James Adams
Not at all, user. Lost buddies during the war. Guys I loved. Didn't feel anything for months. Then out of the blue I'm driving home from work and couldn't stop sobbing. We all work through grief in our own way. Sorry about your bro.
Luis Smith
Cont, I don't think there's really anything wrong with you; maybe some repression, like the guy above said. As long as you don't feel any feelings like wanting to hurt people, and you can exhibit appropriate emotions for the situation, I wouldn't worry too much about it.
Ryan Cox
Same with me. And I'm functioning alright most of the time.
Gabriel Howard
>Didn't feel anything for months dude? can you read? He's had 8 years. He's not going to break down
Ian Scott
Cont. I definitely think that if you keep experiencing life and looking forward, there will be things that will make you feel more emotions.
Hunter Gonzalez
Thank you for the insight doctor. All I was saying is that everyone processes traumatic events differently.
Jose Parker
>be me, 12-14 you don't know if you were 12, 13, or 14? are you a fucking retard?
Jaxon Clark
(OP) Dude here's the thing, I literally can't remember when this happened. I know he was eight years older than me but idk how old he was when he died. I think it was 2012 but unless I was looking at the gravestone I couldn't tell you. This actually happened when I was talking to my mam about it once and she fucking broke down. Like when I say I felt nothing, I mean it barely registered at all.
Landon Brown
Fellow Irish Yea Forumsro, sorry for your loss.
Also been trying to get all my friends to stop taking to much drugs, won't believe me that this shit happens.
Brody Roberts
Kinda waiting for that tbh, it'd be a bit of a relief.
It was a pretty big deal at the time, I think around 12 people died EU wide from this one batch. It was all over the papers, you might have read about it.
Winners don't do drugs my dudes.
Like generally speaking I process emotions in a pretty normal way. It's just this one particular issue. Thanks for the words tho my boi
Ethan Bennett
Was it in cork/kerry?
Jackson Thomas
Well, in that case, I really wouldn't worry. I didn't cry at all at my grandma's funeral or really feel sad about it at all, and I went to her and papaw's every summer since I was a kid. Much closer to papaw, tho.
Elijah Jenkins
He was in Kinsale, but we're from Waterford. I think there were a few others in Cork, yeah. Finland had a few too and I think the Netherlands
Jace King
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. Focus more on the people who are still around and all.
Grayson Russell
After reading the article I definitely heard about it, or my parents definitely made sure I heard about it, honestly has scared me off drugs(ecstacy) since I was only 14.
Jeremiah Robinson
It was pretty one-in-a-million. Rarely happens to people who do e, it's a pretty safe drug. I think this was some experimental substitute. But yeah, put me off drugs my whole life, if only bc idk what my parents would do if it happened to them twice.
Ian Torres
here's something similar:
>be me, be early 20s >get cancer >initial shock as totally no warning but rapidly com to terms with it >treatment works (pretty dreadful), go into remission >carry on with previous life again >don't feel any emotional burden from having been so ill and at some points close to death >18months pass >go to meeting as part of a follow up with other recovered cancer patients >i listen to these people talk, and it's like a fucking tonne of bricks landing on my chest that something so horrible happened to me and i just coasted through it >wtf >feel dreadful. life grinds to a total halt >slowly start to function again but still have very different outlook on life years later
like OP, at the time of the initial event, i felt fine, and i certainly didn't feel like i was in denial or emotional shut down or anything. it was only much later when i had was reminded of things indirectly that the significance of what happened really hit me
Angel Turner
Yeah, the worst thing about it was watching everybody else fall apart while I was just "aight that happened". Wasn't even guilt, just this feeling of complete detachment and otherness to everybody around me. I feel you brah.
Brayden Gutierrez
Nah you’re not a psycho lad. For some people after a major trauma like this it can take months/years for them to have a semi-breakdown where they experience all their grief suddenly. Sometimes it never happens atalll. I’m in a similar situation up in Armagh, older brother died in a car crash with his friends and ma is a major alcoholic and da is flat out at the farm but hasn’t been to actual work in years. I’ve always been an emotion person so I’m pretty sure I’ve most of my grieving done, but I honestly couldn’t recommend more goin to your Gp and seeing if you could get on counselling.
Not sure how handy that will be for you down south since I’m in the north and have nhs but it’s honestly worth a shot, even if you don’t feel like you need it, it’s helped me loads and I didn’t think I did at all. Anyways all the best
Ethan Martinez
I use this ability to be a rock for others during traumatic events. It makes me feel good to be able to do that for people I care about. There's nothing wrong with you for feeling the way you did. It's just easier for you to be able to accept heavy things.
Cameron Sanchez
it's interesting that you mention the counselling, as i was essentially instructed to speak to a psychologist for months. it did absolutely nothing for me, and in fact in some ways it made things worse (altho i am sure some others benefit)
for me at least, i felt like i was being to told to get over it, but you can't. you come to terms with it in your own way and incorporate that into your life and carry on
you feel how you feel. you don't have to question it and you don't owe anyone anything. don't expect to feel a certain way and then worry that you didn't feel what you think you should be feeling. things happen in life and you learn from them, but whatever you're feeling isn't wrong, it's just how you feel even tho that can seem impossible to explain
Austin Torres
I feel like a faggot saying this but I honestly do feel an awful lot better now having spoken about this with people and having them share their own experiences and not just give me "oh everybody deals with grief differently, it'll come when it comes"
