Confess

Im a racist. never told anyone or done anything serious about it. I just chat along and think my own thoughts.

Endlessly fantasized about seducing and fucking my mom when I was a teenager. Wrote several stories about it too

I dated a granny in college for a year and a half.

Yea, i am getting pretty bored with animals though, their way too easy.

I'm trying to clean up Yea Forums by reporting all the cancerous bait threads as avoiding post filters. You can help by doing the same and not replying to the bait. Help make Yea Forums Russian shill free!

I constantly hope that someone in my household will kill themselves so I have an excuse to have a mental breakdown and kill everyone else then myself.

I'm a raging alcoholic.

But functional. Job, house, wife, 3 young kids.....

I constantly lie and manipulate the people around me (especially friends and family) to make my life easier

Pretty much everyone does that

AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH HOLYSHIT U R CRINGE DUMBFUCKING RETARD ILL SLIT UR WHORE MOTHER IN 2 HAHAHAAAAHAHAHA "iM A PSYCHIOPATH WTF I HAVE NO FEELINGS OM IM SPECIAL " LOOOOOOOOOOOL

Well i don't do it anymore and i have pets that i love and could never hurt but then its like other animals that i have no connection to once so ever that i dont give a shit about

u need help

exactly, idk whats wrong with these edgelord thinking its cool to be psychopathic etc

At least you could make her feel fulfilled she probably really appreciated the fact that you took time for her and if her husband was a dick by all means good job dude

>Do well in school
>Figure that electronics are my deal, shoot for a school in Florida
>Want to avoid dorm life
>Find a roommate at a place that's close enough to commute to the university
>Roommate turns out to be a really big chick, something like six and a half feet tall and somewhat chubby
>Have Laron's syndrome
>Basically resistant to growth hormone, stand at 4'9" on a good day
>We mesh fairly well, but I later learn that she was basically trying to filter out male roommates because she really bought into the liberal arts degree she was shooting for
>Move in
>Learn that she's a heavy drinker
>Something of a weeb, too
>Half a year in, we've basically gotten along because I know my way around the kitchen and cook in large enough quantities to allow for leftovers
>Return late from class to find her schlicking to some kind of hentai in the living room, where she hung out
>By this point, learned to just ignore it and move on because it's happened often enough for me to disregard it
>However, really want to make some chicken fried rice, because goddamn, there's rarely a better thing to make at eleven at night than that
>Make too much noise while getting ready
>Roommate is fairly obviously drunk again, leaning against the kitchen door frame, also still fairly obviously aroused if her nips are any indication
>Asks what I'm up to now
>"Just a bit of a mess. I'll leave you some."
>Get absolutely engulfed in a hug from behind that I quickly lose any control over
>Taste a lot of cheap second-hand whiskey when she picks me up and draws me into a crying kiss
>Stunned
>"I really need this right now," she says, and starts walking away with me still in her arms
>End up in her room
>Thrown onto the bed
>Face mounted
>Ridden for what felt like an hour, given an uncomfortable amount of exposure to some pre-heated puss that also smelled like Jack Daniels
>Eventually farts and passes out
>This becomes a semi-regular event for the next year and a half while I finish getting my degree

My father was an alcohol but quiet the opposite he was completely non functional ...just be careful he is like 60 now and he has a shit ton wrong with him.

Did you get anything out of it my dude

Rate your trap gf

gay

It's more of a mental crutch at this point but health problems are on the horizon.

I'm drunk every single day/night of my life for many many years.

My wife and two of her bridesmaids pegged me on our wedding night.

It was only really awful that first time. She started getting into the idea of getting me off shortly afterwards, and stopped wearing clothes around the house while she was drinking, which was basically always. That was nice, right up until she started making me do the same so she could tell when I got an erection.

That said, to this day, I still can't smell cheap whiskey without thinking of her sweaty ass in my face. Fucking Pavlovian response kicks in and I end up rock hard, even though I really hated having to deal with that situation.

/r/thathappend

I was phone

Grab my mom's tits while she was drunk.
Regret a little, do it any time I can anyway.

I'm your dad

I’m a voyeur. I spy on women I know and occasionally people I don’t.

My favorite people I’ve seen are :
1. My ex-girlfriend’s mom
2. My aunt’s best friend
3. My boss

Prove it.

I'm into awkward looking chubby guys, but can barely get any because I lack confidence.

Was her husband home?

Which one you want to see?

Damn that sucks. I feel you there. I'm a chubby guy, but I tend to be into chubby girls and have zero confidence to flirt with anyone

>liberal arts major
>married

lol

Shit sorry wrong user my bad....wait so you never fucked her??

I dont believe in ghosts : (

But who was phone

At least that's our only hurdle, plenty of fat fish in the sea. Just gotta get over ourselves

True enough lol, just curious are you a guy or girl?

I'm a guy but anal makes me feel like I'm a girl, should I start estrogen?

She didn't like the idea unless she was absolutely hammered, which was usually only three or four times a month. The rest of the time, it was mostly just her forcing herself on me or grabbing me by the junk and treating me like a toy.

Suffice to say that she wasn't the first or the last to do this kind of thing, but she was the only one I felt like I never had a chance of resisting. Hence telling the story in a confession thread.

I'm a guy, not sure if that makes it harder or easier for me in the end.
the anal guy ain't me fam

The only living creature i was ever attached to was my cat

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Seek therapy.

True enough, though to be fair in the gay community thinks are more popular so you shouldn't have as much trouble flirting with the chubby ones

Thanks for the encouragement man, hope you get some luck your way too

I love to get drunk and be fucked and degraded by guys

Thanks haha

Me too user.

Everybody does

Tell us more about it

This is true

I've seen most of the girls I know (and want to see naked) naked. There's only about 2 left that I haven't that I would like to. I have secret methods and hardly anyone knows. I've seen several friends girlfriends naked, and my ex's sister.

im currently in a sexual relationship with a girl more then half my age.
im 32

ex-girlfriend’s mom

then.. you're a trap too?

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What’s the method?

Constantly move around and use a different name for everything I can besides the things I need to legally use my real name for. New friends get my new name, new social media, new phone number, new life story.

wife drunk sucked off a stranger, took pic

I've fingered my coworker.
Twice

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I want it to work for as long as possible so I'm not posting it here lol

Air vents?

if it's more than* half your age, she could be anywhere from 17 to 128

Same but, own a business, have a house, wife, no kids, several cars, and we swing

hint?

Why stop at 128? A googol would also be more than half his age.

Well, lets see here. I got pretty bad herpes from some skanky hooker awhile back. It pissed me off but for the past two yrs i been using my herpes to my advantage!

So one of the things i like doing is going to public places like the super market. Ill goto the back of my van and pop a few big herps, carefully get it on my finger tips and walk into the supermarket ( automated doors means i dont have to use my herp covered hands. Thanks technology)

When im in the store i goto the open food first like fruit and veggy. My very first stop is always the open bags of grapes people snack from while they shop. I pretend to grab one and rub my juicy herpe covered hand on them for you fags to eat. I do this to as much fruit and veg as i can. Sometimes ill goto the teddler isles of stores and rub my herpe covered fingers on the "teething" toys babys chew on.

Sometimes i get real lucky and a #1 mom will walk away from their kids long enough for me to whipe my herp covered fingers on their mouths or eyes.

This is my secret. You can keep a secret, right? Mmm, yeah your good at secrets, huh.

recently started up a relationship with a girl i met on tider. not really interested in a relationship with her. but she has the tightest pussy and 11 years younger than me. all i want to do is be her fucktoy.

Nope

He's bullshitting you.

By the time you enter your third relationship you'll know perfectly well that there's no magic method to picking up women.

A few things will increase your chances but that's a good as it gets.

this is why im here for life

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I usually count in 7 bit and I ignore 0, we fell out quite some time ago.

Lol these fucking edgelords

You think im lying? Thats fine by me. Think im lying to you.enjoy your local supermarkets fruit and veg.

What

It's not picking them up, and I am not bullshitting.

He called you an edgelord, not a liar.

Your defensiveness only make your obvious bullshit even more obvious though.

Lol call it what you want. Youre still potentially eating my herp.

(Lo escribo en español porque mi ingles es una puta mierda)
Mi novia no sabe que soy gay y me cogí a su hermano mientras ella se estaba duchando

Take that forgien talk BEHIND THE WALL

lmao
Does she know her brother is gay though? Or was this sex non-consensual?

I don't actually hate Jews.

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What wall?

I touch my parent's son's penis everyday

I am dating my maths teacher

>4'9"
>Shorter than literal twelve-year-olds

lol

So... You touch your broher?

He's an only child

Joker?

He touches his dead brother's dick? What the fuck?

I ruined a total stranger’s life one time

>Convince wife to play a video game with me
>Took 3 years
>She says ok
>Rando team mate is being a total dick
>Starts yelling at her over mic
>She gets upset, cries, leaves the room
>Google his username, find his Steam account, find forums he is on
>Within 10 minutes I find his real name, FB, and an adult friend finder account
>Notice his AFF account is newer than his FB wedding date
>Use a burner FB account to add his wife as a friend
>She accepts within the hour, sends me a message “do I know you?”
>Send her a link to the AFF account and other goodies I dug up
>She replies with “I dont know if I should thank you or not for this” after about 15 minutes stewing with the new info
>Log back into the game
>He is still playing on the same server
>”hey asshole, I think your wife might be mad at you”
>He starts swearing at me
>I type the name of his AFF account and his wife’s name
>He goes silent, then logs out

FFW 2 months

>Check in on the fucker
>His wife’s account is still friends on burner acct
>She threw his ass out
>He got arrested for drug possession
>Lost rights to see his two kids
>He lost his job and is on unemployment
>His ex-wife’s FB is loaded with encouraging feminists telling her she did the right thing kicking him out

>Add him as a friend on burner acct
>Took a few days but he accepts
>Send message “don’t you wish you hadnt yelled at my wife over Steam?”
>Resulting reply had the most “fuck you”s I’ve ever received

Not that strange

You sir are a god among men. You did the right thing.

Deserved it

I think the whole thing is hilarious, but it seems to me like you're an oversensitive lil' bitch.

i was in a relationship only for sex

You heartless monster.

Found the guy user screwed over.

Thank you

Maybe a little, I’ll give you that. But it took me 3 years to get my wife to play a video game with me and that shitstick ruined it within 10 minutes of playing. That was 4 years ago now, and she didn’t start playing games again until last year. Granted I’m in my 30’s now and barely play games anymore...

I once hit a man with my car. I’m not sure if he was dead or alive I didn’t care. I kept driving. Not a day goes by that I don’t see his face.

Wipe you fucking windshield, mate.

I suck a log of shit out of Andy Sixx's asshole.

I fucked my best friends Mom... me 26 she 50

I have pics and videos of my buddy's milf ex. Dumb bitch would be beyond humiliated that people know exactly what her tits and cunt look exactly like and what she looks like with a cock in her mouth and cunt. My kik is sunnymanner if interested

>secret

You think they don't know, but honestly it's easier to humour people when they feed you bullshit than to call them out. They most likely hate you and keep you in their lives out of politeness / not being dicks.

Just post them here

52°11'45.6"N 6°06'12.2"E
She rests there.

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Snitch

Am I supposed to be scared now?

Wait uh, am I correct in saying the Netherlands??

Was thinking abt doing the same thing. You found the lat long to be in the Netherlands right?

If you were telling the truth yea... better go dig her up and move it bub.

Yes, It's in the Netherlands. Recreational park Bussloo. My dog rests there every day.

Have fun with your false police reports :'D

I watched a homless man I paid 60 bucks to shoot my heroin ( actually mostly fentanyl ) die and didn't do anything.

Yeah, report it too

get your money back?

My camp consuler once caught me jacking off in the bathroom because for some reason I yelled "STOP IM MASTERBATING" when he opened the door

I fucked my friend the night before my girlfriend came back from her visit home

Try seeing a psychologist for being a psychopath(unable to feel emotions and sympathize). Theres a suprising amount of permanent treatments for it and they can help you feel emotions like the majority. Not saying you should, but just a suggestion

Usually waited for them to pass out and take it back but I think he was already high and I pushed him over the edge ( got the money but it smelt like shit)

>i also found my moms battery powered vibrater and used it all the time ive never told anyone that

Are you male or female?

Im trying to convince a friend to transition so I can use his boi pussy whenever I feel like. But he’s having second thoughts

So hot

Almost worth not being able to reach the middle shelf, let alone the top.

>fucked three different middle-aged Chinese prostitutes
>got sucked off countless times by South American tranny prostitutes in the woods, bareback fucked one and filled >>>her ass with cum and just left, sometimes I even suck their cocks too
>pretended to care and want marriage with a random girl that had a crush on me just to fuck her, she never sucked dick before mine, ghosted her the next day after
>raw ass-fucked a random fat camwhore I met while on vacation back home
>was in a fairly long oral-only fuckbuddy situation with a black girl that was taller and fatter than me (literally the best head I got, she would suck it for an hour straight)
>as a fat white dude I fucked more black girls than white
>i sometimes meet with a guy in his late 30s, we suck eachother off for a long while, I sometimes fuck him and let him eat my ass for ages

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Stood near my aunt who was sitting down to catch a glimpse of downblouse. Thought she’d knew. Had my dicked brush by her arms. Wants more of it but afraid of backlash by relatives

Cheating on my gf rn :^)

kik plz

discord
======
.gg/n3ExgMG

Go home redditfag, nothing happens on Yea Forums

not really a secret, but no one believes i am being stalked by an old coworker and i am on the verge of killing myself

Details? you're a guy?

discord
======
.gg/n3ExgMG

Let me assure you that it was in hindsight, but at the time, it was really hard to focus on anything but her hygiene. Weebs don't take care of themselves as a general rule, and alcohol usually doesn't help.

lol

It's a small one but I'm bisexual

You married someone in another country? How did that work when you got back to your home country?

No, I moved abroad a couple years ago, but I'm not married. I just pretend to like some random girl that liked me wayy too much just so I could get my dick wet once.
And the fat camwhore I met when I went back home to visit my parents.

My gf's mother is staying at out house (a separated part of it) and i have a hard on for her. I masturbate with her bras and pantys when i found them (sniff her underwear too as well) and put my dick on all of her bottles of water.

I was planning to cum and dissolve the cum in hot water and then put it on her bottles so she swallows it without noticing... Would she notice? What's cum composition in water?

yes, dude.

Coworker was a whore, late 30s. i tried to ingore her, but after like 6 months thought its prob not that big of a deal, i will send her a message on FB so i dont have to worry about flirting at work. she says no, but then starts following me around town. eventually a friend of hers in the IT department hacks my phone via bluetooth. i dont give a shirt because i dont really do anything there. she continues to follow me, tells people she needs to keep an eye on me. eventually a mutual friend installs a remote desktop program on my computer. move 400 miles away, get new computer, get new phone, somehow she tracked me down hacked both of those and started insinuating herself into my new social circle.

shes contacted my friends, family, tells them i am a drug addict and shes trying to help me. i drink maybe once a month and smoke less than an ounce of weed per month. she is in AA and wants me to be sober so we can be together. shits too much. i've lost a brother, friends, my job, girlfriends. i dont even have the desire to meet anyone new because she is going to just involve herself.

the whole things gives me panic attacks since i know shes always watching. even this right now.

Lucky guy. How do you do it?

No no user i can feel very vivid emotions for people and basically everything else just not most animals

Female

yea, pretty sure in like a week. going to hang myself.

Hm? .....andy?

First off dont kys my dude explain and i will try to help

The girl that crushed on me, I think we were in the same group for people from my country in the city where I live now (eastern yuro living in Paris), she messaged me out of the blue. I feel a bit bad for taking advantage of her, but she had the 3 physical flaws I can't get over
>underbite
>small piggy eyes too far apart
>stubby hands
Also she was painfully dumb and boring, almost autistic-tier, had to explain every other joke I made.

And the fat camwhore, my hometown is kinda small and not that populated on tinder, I superliked her because she seemed easy and wanted to get my dick wet. Set up a meeting the same day. Half an hour later she was on her knees licking my balls.

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Me too !

Me too!

Why not report her to the athoritys

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see
just can't get away from her. i hate constantly feeling trapped. she contacts everyone in my life she can, employers, friends. it's like i dont even exist anymore i am jsut a story she tells. everything i say, do, google, is under constant scrutiny. its been 2 years and i have yet to form a personal relationship she hasnt made herself a part of.

the worst part is weird shit like this:

>she hacks my phone
>i am so stressed out i cant sleep so up late watching garbage youtube videos.
>find a YT channel with guy who talks about comics.
>silky smooth voice puts me to sleep
>listen every night
>since then constantly get harassed about wanting superpowers.

????

like how does someone even make that leap?

constant shit like this. i take allergy medicine, tells people i am trying to get high.

like i said its been going on for a long time. i cant even be myself so whats the point?

omw to eat soon

Just call the cops on her you have proof right

Tits

I took a loli's virginity and she took mine.

No

How old are you

ynot? if you dont show your face, nobody will know its you

rats are friends

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22 currently. at the time I was 19 and she was 11 or 12.

I broke into someones house while they were away to take a nap while i was homeless

maybe. because she was in my stuff for a while, lets say she set herself harassing emails, then deleted the sents from my account? if i go to the cops it might not go well.

i am not saying she did do this, but she did delete entire conversations i had with mutual friends, pictures, chats texts. it makes me think she has already created a contingency if i try to go to the cops.

further, the panic attacks have been so bad that all i have been able to do is survive, let alone try to fight her on this. i honestly thought she would just go away after a while.

>Half an hour later she was on her knees licking my balls
Nice.

You need to work on your opsec a little harder, then disappear to another city. Zero contact with people you already know, get rid of your phone, pick up a new email account, etc.

She keeps finding you because you keep letting her.

My health is consistently degrading. Im addicted to buying guns and ammunition, as well as commercial explosives and anything I can make. I’ve begun to drink more heavily and smoke more. Every day I wake up feeling a little more jaded and cynical

Ahhh i. L o v e. R a t s

stop paying for internet. the rest will work itself out.

I had the same age difference once with someone

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Ive been homeless i get it ...honestly really wholesome

Because ...i dont do that sort of thing for just anyone..

That’s part of it. I quit the internet for a long while to escape the bullshit 24/7 coverage of everything, but I found out that people are just as bad face to face. I feel like the world has gotten too small to quick. I just want to get away from it all.

do it for Yea Forums, your body will become shared by everyone and be fawned over, its just a tit

no

I hope you arent drinking and shooting that is very dangerous...maybe pick up a new hoby or try to spend more time with people who care about you

OH MY GOSH WHAT A GOOD BOI SO PRECIOUS THANK YPU FOR HIM

Lol fag.

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I’m very safe with my hobby. But it’s the only thing I can honestly find joy in since I left the army. At the risk of sounding like an edgelord, I really like being by myself and even though I love my family, I still prefer to be alone over spending time with them.

my dick is super not small

>At the risk of sounding like an edgelord
>I really like being by myself
I'd venture to say that most people on here like being by themselves more than spending time with others.

No no...

please? ill give you a thumbs up

>My father was an alcohol.
>Quiet the opposite.

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Maybe put your military training go good use join the police force or security somthing to fulfill yourself

We're not just anyone. Your body will become permanently glorified in the folders we have. I'm no girl, but I'd feel better knowing the guys I show off to actually appreciate it. Trust me, we do.

We didn't want any more kids, but my wife and I are trying to have another so we can get back on welfare. It sucks that we are this desperate but DHS has destroyed us and this is the only way we can get help. We were just starting to feel middle class but went from preparing to buy a house to bankrupt in 6 months.

yea, have learned opsec over the course of this. not really a skill most people need to have

>be me
>be 8
>live in suburb of Seattle so there were a fuckton of Somalis and Hindus
>these two Somali kids try to fuck with me
>i think i'm tough as shit so i yell, 'shut up nigger' in the loudest voice possible
>literally never heard the word nigger before
>grounded for 2 weeks
>think back on it 12 years later
>feelsgood.man

I mean like he was the opposite of user like he wasnt functional at all

Not really a secret but whatever

Then tits or gtfo. Thems the rules, bitch.

I mean because I genuinely like it, not because I’m too autistic to form relationships. I’m a relatively attractive, relatively intelligent dude. I don’t have problems with relationships either, I just can’t force myself to care about someone to that degree.

This is Yea Forums. Tits or gtfo.

Littarlly your just strangers ..and id rather not be in the folder of everyone on Yea Forums

I'm pretty sure i'm a sociopath

>not really a skill most people need to have

Everyone should know how to not broadcast their whereabouts. It used to be the default position.

Its understandable

You stupid bitch. This is Yea Forums. The rule is tits or gtfo. You aren't special. Girls are born every day who will take your place.

Just sayin I'd appreciate more than any guy you've ever sent it to. But you do you girl.

you may have replied to the wrong person buddy

Then why are you here? For attention, like every other slut who thinks because she has a hole between her legs and a pair of tits, she is special.
You are not.
Tits or gtfo.

I created the thread dick head you get out

My bad.

Respect the rules, bitch. Your thread, but it's on Yea Forums and the rule of Yea Forums is tits or gtfo.

Fucked up a perfectly good thread because you guys are thirsty and aggressive as a motherfucker.

I was a security contractor for a little while and I worked with Brinks for a bit driving around cash. I can’t really ever stick with any kind of job like the police or military because I think their “honor” is just a bullshit excuse to do shitty things and feel good about it. I was always in it for the cash, and I was never shy about letting people know that. My superiors in the military were never happy that I didn’t want to just “serve my country”. But we all know that none of them would do it for free.

Well someone's a bit angry arent you user? owo. I bet you are just some 40 year old dude in there grandmothers basement who has never seen a girl irl ...teehee silly user

You sound like the only veteran I could stand to talk to. Most of the vets I meet are a little overbearing.

I miss her
I made mistakes but I'll never forget you
I only hope you have a good life

Wew, where to start?
I have stolen used underwear from a female friend.
I like watching girls getting fucked by dogs.
I like watching girls shitting.
I, somehow, have a well-paying job
I jack off four to five times a day at said job
Watching either of the two fetishes I listed

I will never be normie, despite my wishes to become one

You are sweet maybe because you didnt get upset i might but like on kik or something

Agreed i just wanted to exchange secerts what a shame ...

They’ll tell you about their long line of family members who’ve fought for ‘murica and then almost get insulted when you just want a paycheck. Cops are the same way. Their “thin blue line” is horseshit. You’re not the only thing standing between society and chaos. You’re an overweight aggro asshole who more often than not escalates situations. I honestly just want to be left alone as far away from anyone else as I can get.

I know i wouldnt do it for free ...your a pretty alright guy ..i respect you for not being disingenuous to yourself or others

I'm sorry for the way my Yea Forumsrothers act, but I both don't have kik, and don't want to pressure you. Besides, with Yea Forums, it's either all of us or none of us. So thanks, but no thanks. You do you girl :)

We understand; user was just pointing out your grammatical mistakes.

Has m’lady rewarded you with sex yet?

Yeah, you'd be surprised how many people on here are pretty damn similar to you. I really only enjoy leaving my house to go to the shooting range or camping and shit.

I was in prison for 16 months. Most people dont know and those wo do know think it was for hacking. I raped a 9 year old.

I have 60 rats. That's my secret for the thread.

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I guess so. I just honestly can’t for the life of me bring myself to care about day to day life at this point. I literally see people as just in the way at this point. I’ve given up on a romantic relationship, and I’m really not even that sad about it. I just focus on me and me alone. Lack of empathy maybe?

>literally just turned down tits
>Has m’lady rewarded you with sex yet?

Holy fucking lel

Feel like letting some bitch take my money (findom) so make a shortlist of ideal girls, some from other unis I knew in college and some from the uni I went to and which my gf currently still attends. Decide on some girl I exchanged numbers with.

Message this bitch, she takes my money, long story short it flips back to me domming her, making her slap her self on video, write dumb slut on her chest, and cunt on her head while she smacks herself accross the face and rides a vibrating dildo and has a large vibrating ass plug in her ass. This goes on for at least 3 hours this morning with constant orders that she has to do. Actually started at midnight and finished at 7am over chat.

Now, she she doesn't have a good idea who I am, she has guessed multiple wrong names, and my name after I gave her a hint, but played her and she is trying to guess again. Also told her wrong location of where I live, have a fake name on the account.

What does b think, is it worth revealing myself and risk getting caught and having my girlfriend find out and call me crying. The sex is getti stale with my current gf, she's gained weight although still skinny. The new girl is so tight and kinky af. Decisions decisions

Was it worth it?

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I ain't arguin man you win this one lol

I think my mom thinks I’m a pedophile

*you're

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Heck yes, I should have used more force

I’ve hooked up with young boys off Grindr on various occasions.

discord
======
.gg/n3ExgMG

How long were you in, if you don't mind my asking.

My family knows I stored loli hentai in their pc and the time where I tried to find it, it was nowhere to be found. they never said anything about it.

20 mins in her, 16 months in jail

>I've given up on a romantic relationship
>I just focus on me and me alone
>Lack of empathy maybe
You just described probably 90% of the people on Yea Forums. You just described me.

Year and four months? You know the judge or something?

Fuck

my son is not my son...

Yep. Count yourself lucky though, because of your hobby. I'm from California. I can't fully enjoy my hobby here. I love guns so I'd rather move to Texas or North Carolina.

Nah, Europe

I'm chatting too...
But she's only...
It's feels wrong...
But she love it...
She's connected to my family..
It's been going on a good few..

Fill in the blah blah fucking blah blanks you fagbaitnoobfish

Oooooh, I see. Unrelated, I need to start planning my vacation. Any countries you recommend, for the sights and culture that is?

Andy? ...if so its m

I hear the poor regions of India and Pakistan are beautiful

I want to date a girl but not because i love them, but for sex. I never really fell in love with any girl and the only reason i can think of to date someone is for sex but i hope one day ill find out what it feels like to love someone and want to be with them

You are the best person

user you're not alone. Not sure what love really is either. Currently have a gf, I care about her, don't want to see her get hurt, but also want to sleep around still, only thing stopping me is seeing how badly it'll break her, she's had it tough lately. Is that truly love? Caring?

Cheated on my 20 year older bf with a coworker who then broke up w/ me&accused me of cheating on him (when he was the #2). Afterwards had FWB with our coworker

How did you get caught?

May god have mercy on your soul user

Ive had many girlfriends in the past i never felt anything with them. My first kiss i didnt feel anything and i was so angry and scared as to why i couldnt feel anything soon enough i left her cause i couldnt find it in myself to try to love someone. I also cant talk to any girls mostly cause i have basically 0 social media and the girls i see around my city all look ugly and bitchy so i stay to myself. I really do want someone tho like someone who'll be there for me and actually try to see me and not post about it online because i like to be private with my stuff

that is really sad, will you have feelings for the kid?
degenerates fucking end yourself

no one at my collage knows im a boy

Learn how to manage your fucking finances, asshole. Use Dave Ramsey's snowball method to get rid of debt. Live below your means. Stop being a fucking cunt and living off of taxpayer money.

What the fuck? Are you a trap?

same user

>be me
>be 21
>came back from night of drinking with friends
>friend takes bar, gave girl whole bar of xanax
>she is beyond gone and had to carry her back to our apartment
>leave her on the bed downstairs
>friend passes out next to her
>roommate invites in mexican neighbors for first time
>roll up blunt
>smoke it with them
>i knock over ashtray and go downstairs to get vaccum
>see one of the mexicans trying to get inside passed out girl
>he had her doggystyle, she was still completely knocked the fuck out
>passed out friend was right next to them still asleep
>"what the fuck are you doing?"
>obviously know what he's doing, I wanted to see what he was gonna say
>wide-eyed looking crazy he speaks spanish back to me
>friend is still passed out right next to them
>walk away and go up stairs and text roommate he's raping her
>roommate sees the text while still smoking with the other mexican neighbors
>"where's your friend? who is he?"
>"Oh that guy? We don't know him, he's retarded, he's crazy"
>everyone goes downstairs and catches him trying to take her but she's total dead weight and drops her
>one of the neighbors drops his beer
>"you rape that girl?"
>cold cocks the fuck out of him
>nigga starts bleeding
>they're screaming spanish and he's scrambling for the door
>friend got told by girl she doesn't remember anything at all
>hear them fuck in the morning
pic related her

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And this shit right here is why I’m paranoid as fuck

Me too!

Until last week when my wife told me I had to choose her or booze.

She won out.

>Samwise_the_pint-sized_seducer.jpg

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I feel ya. I'm generally well accepted, have friends, date occasionally, all my coworkers are nice to me and even occasionally praise me for being "Mr friendly"/hard working/ other nice shit but I constantly consider Asians to be chinks who have no feelings and serve no purpose beyond getting in the fucking way, and that niggers are the in between of animals and humans and that I shouldn't be forced to deal with either such jokes that people consider to be real humans. hate people who aren't white on general, but no one knows and I'm always paranoid I'll slip and reveal in racist as hell

i feel you big time on this one

>sometime around 2012 (was underage b& at the time)
>went into a steam begging thread on this board
>was really desperate at the time, didn't have money for anything
>posted my profile and asked for Terraria
>a kind soul actually gifted me the game
>accepted it
>immediately noticed that this stranger from the scary Yea Forums hacker place was in my friends list
>blocked him without any communication out of fear

It's still my favorite game of all time and I have hundreds of hours put into it, I'm so fucking sorry man I wish I didn't do that to you, if you're reading this somehow thank you so much you made my year.

I wanna be /fit/ but excorsize and diets dont work. Still the same ol' 160lb fat tard. I've tried fasting and didnt lose much weight, and other shit. Nothing. Any Yea Forumsros wanna help out?

>inb4 fag

>but exercise and diets don't work
You are literally fucking retarded.

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You think I havent noticed? I literally stopped eating for a whole 3 weeks. Didnt lose shit. Only drank water (as per usual.)

Step dad started fingering me at 9 and that turned into full blown sex at 10. Mom worked nights so it was easy

>exercise and diets don't work
>literally the only two ways to lose weight without surgery

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user or femanon?

I beat my meat to my cousins
.
.
.
(They are all 15)

Boy or girl Green text the story please

Who doesnt.

Fat is burnt in a calorie deficit. If your intake is less than your output, you will lose fat. The act of exercising will probably cause you to put on muscle, and so you probably won't notice much of a difference on the scale without dedicated effort or altering your diet.

If you're seriously not losing weight by not eating, your activity level isn't high enough to cause a change.

Read my previous. And im not fucking doing surgery.

yeah so has 80% of the rest of the world.

If you are really desperate; try Keto for 3 months. Just protein and vegetables. Get creative in cooking them and don't be afraid of fats.

As for exercise; Cardio: Long periods of walking. Weight Lifting: Lift heavy but, start out light and work your way up.

You will see results

>I literally stopped eating for 3 whole weeks
Fucking idiot, not eating makes your body literally burn muscle for energy and not fat. Fuck you, retard.

I went to the gym everyday for 1 hour, I work at a Radio store down in Memphis TN. 901 Sounds. Look us up. But, it's not an easy job, so i SHOULD be losing weight. I doubt I'm gaining muscle as fast as I lose weight.

Not true, look up fasting. Its proven to work. It eats fat before it starts attacking your muscle. If it starts eating away at your muscle I would still be losing weight. Fuck tard. The scale aint moving.

Thanks for not being an autistic faggot like the rest of these guys, ill look it up.

^ good advice. I live my life on a modified Keto diet. I basically say no to carbs and sugar. I’m not trying to eat all the fucking fat they do though. I don’t disagree with the long periods of walking but I like the hard run then walk then hard run rinse repeat approach for weight loss.

I unironically think all Muslims and Islamic's need to be executed.

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Then maintain that effort. Weight loss is not an overnight thing. You're the product of a long line of natural selection that favored survivors. Creating fat stores and not using very much of them in what seems to be a famine situation (read: not eating) means surviving longer.

Stay the course.

Im 5'9" 165+/- (3lbs). I know I'm fat but how overweight is that? How much should i weigh

in my highschool physiology lab we dissected a mink. I took out its eyeballs and saved them in a my led container for mechanical pencils. Some nights when I cooked dinner for myself I would make some for my parents if we werent fighting. Later that week I made spaghetti mixed with many vegetables and herbs and after setting aside our plates, mixed in the mink eyes into each of their bowls. The pasta was very good, naturally, so they finished their meals. It was so fucking satisfying even though it was only mink eyes. those stupid fucks deserve worse

Me again. I go for a week at a time where I eat zero food after 3pm. Then the next week just eat like normal. During the fast week I eat a huge breakfast at about 6:30 am. Small snack around 11. Then another pretty big meal at 3pm. Rinse repeat. Works fucking great for me. I like feeling hungry before I eat.

No problem. Happy to help.

I have been there myself. Ever since I stated eating healthy, I haven't had the urge to eat fast food or over-eat like crazy. I feel better, more positive.

Not fat, just carrying around a little extra weight. Just eat well and workout, your body will even itself out.

Get a room psychofags

wow look how positive Yea Forums can b we out here supportin eachother

Cool, im suprised i learned something on Yea Forums. Wtf. Is there still hope for this place?

I’m 5’11 200ish. Weight doesn’t mean fuck all unless you’re rocking zero muscle.

Well I guess my body likes 160 ish lbs. I've been like that since about eight grade. Its pissing me off. I went through martial arts and never lost a pound, that was one of my hidden reasons why I took the classes.

I hate my family and my friends, I am an antisocial and it is a torture for me to have to pretend to be a normal person, I am planning to kill my mother and the rest of my family and flee somewhere

when i was 9 my god brother used to molest me all the time. he would babysit me and threaten to tell my parents i was being bad, and they beat the shit out of me. he also would say i couldnt watch tv if i didnt let him finger me which he also told me was to help him with his homework. what a fucking piece of shit i hope he rots in hell.

Im a girl(green text is a pain), and one day we were on the couch laying together and i fell asleep and woke up with his hand down my pants. At first I kept my eyes shut but then it felt amazing yet strange, I’d never felt anything like that before. I moaned and he pulled his hand out and I said “put it back it feels good” that transitioned into the bedroom and him licking me. He was going to town on my clit and all the sudden I felt like I had to pee, so I say stop and tell him why. He ensures me that if i let it happen it would feel amazing.

So he continues and he says how wet i am, and slowly prodds me with his finger as he licked me. It was a little uncomfortable at first but he went slow and steady. I started feeling that similar pee feeling again and he pulled his finger out and rubbed my clit hard as he put his tongue in me. I had my first orgasm and it was awesome.....

Are you fat? Or are you just redneck strong? That how i look. You know how you look at a Stumpy little 4 foot 3 Down Syndrome kid and think that he has no strength, then he's able to lift up a whole fucking Minivan and throw it at you? That's how I am. I'm fat but I can pick up a Volkswagen Beetle lol

>I'm a total fat sperg who goes on Yea Forums to be edgy
you had a typo

Record it and post or it didnt happen

Eye test and tape measure matter more to me. I only use numbers on a scale to tell me if I’m going the direction I want. I don’t put much merit into the actual number.

You're just barely in the overweight category. Losing ten pounds over the course of a few months is both a realistic and healthy goal.

The keto advice the other user posted is also good. Veggies and meats, avoid anything that tastes sweet, and try to eliminate non-veggie carbohydrates. You'll probably want to look at the Nutrition Facts label on your food to get a better idea of whether something is allowed or not.

Pro-tip: Rice is not a veggie. Wheat- and flour-based foods are also not veggies.

why is everyone so caught up on this one thread can we move onto something more fucking interesting. please.

Hmm. Idk man. I just wanna be normal. So the keto thing really works? If so ill try it. How long before ill see changes. If I can last long enough to see changes that'll make me want to keep going.

Nah not fat. I work out.

Thank you

I've always gone by the food pyramid. I can't say there was one diet that did kind of help me, I would eat a fuck ton of salads, and that was it. I would still be doing it if it weren't for the price. It's crazy how quick you can run through a $100 bill.

Thx m8, you're a real help. Ill look into the keto diet. Ill give it a shot.

Give it 2 weeks. Research the shit and do it right. I bet you’ll lose a few pounds and feel way fucking better about yourself mentally.

There more coming

Cause my secret is I was a fat little fucker until I hit puberty and I like to help people with health shit. Nomsayin.

i got cucked really hard by my best friend we were dating and randomly she is now in a long distance relationship with a guy that has been out of the city for more than a year lol

i guess she wants to go out with me until the guy visits her to fuck her and leave again but the first part isnt going to happen

beta of the year i guess

I absolutely like dickgirls, I'd love to meet one willing to go.

Good user ^

The food pyramid is a marketing tool that got pushed through the USDA by actual bribery and corruption. The more I talk about that, though, the more it's going to sound like conspiracy theory nonsense. I suggest you look into it on your own.

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You gonna get that back at you, still... The dude had no chance for redemption, and your wife is a little bitch.