I am a tech at a mental hospital AKA

We have a emo teen unit. Basically a bunch of whiny pussies whose parents got tired of dealing with them and made them sound like raving lunatics to get in the hospital. They get committed and have to stay for 120 days. A few times we have hot ass chicks. Only females can work on that unit though. To many males got fired from fucking the kids.

Sexiest thing a patient has done/you've done to a patient?

Does anybody there appears normal and then it's not?

Males are easy because they drug the fuck out them. Its like herding zombies. People think their loved ones get like intensive therapy and stuff but they really just drugged the fuck up for however long then sent back home.

Why the womans unit is a nightmare? Explain...

Cool LARP thread OP. Is this one of your masturbation fantasy's?

what do the hot chicks do there?

Girls hit on me all the time. They will offer sex for stupid stuff like. A 45 year old lady will walk up to you and say. "I will blow you if you let me keep these markers in my room tonight"

You will walk into a room and girl will be finger banging the fuck out of herself and lock eye contact with you. Sadlly only about 1 out of 200 you want to see doing it.

Yeah lots of people. You think "why is this person here". They are polite and hold normal conversations for days/weeks. Then all a sudden they see demons and shit and flash out for 24 hours straight.

Woman they dont drug up enough so you actually have to deal with their crazy.

eat a bag of dicks

That’s all women, friend.

The hot chicks always a reunification plan. So they know if they do well they will go back home or where ever. Its weird because being attractive will almost cancel out the crazy.

This one old lady always talked about wanting to go home to be with her dogs. She had two dogs with old school names like Lavern and Shirley. She would talk about she hoped they were being taking care of. He chart said she has been hospitalized for over 30 years.

Do they wear diapers all the time?

How do I get a job like this?

have you tried fingerin one of them?

We had this one guy who was so crazy he might be right. He would talk about how we live in a virtual world. That in the future they take just your brain and hook it up to a computer. They use most of the brain for its computing power and the little bit that is left they run a virtual world so the brain will stay calm, Basically matrix cept they use your brain for computing power instead of your body for energy.

And we hit really sad really fast.
That hits way too close to home for me, because I hate going anyplace without my dog - he hates to be left alone and he’s old enough now that I dread waking up one morning to find he’s passed away in his sleep (though honestly, I really hope and pray for his sake it’s peaceful like that).
I don’t like leaving him behind just in case it’s his time.
I feel bad for her, now, gonna light a candle for her and her two dogs today.

So the original matrix script

do you like cocks?
i mean, retard cocks

Tell some sexual storys

but you dont ?!?!?!? i would record so much pussy with my phone

Since OP has answered the most pressing sexual questions already, let's try for wholesome. What's your favorite story from your experience working there? Feel free to greentext.

I would say about 30% wear diapers. They have a geriatric unit that I never work and its almost 100 percent.
If you pass a drug test and a background check you can get these jobs easy as fuck. They are always desperately in need of people. I started at 16 dollars and hour and am now up to almost 17 for taking different training classes
I have fingered dudes before. One guy thought if he cheeked his meds then put them up his ass it would get him high. Another guy stuffed toilet paper balls up his ass for some reason, something about bugs getting in or out of it.

yeah pretty sure that's the original plot of the matrix

i mean he had cooler details but that was gist of it

yeah man, go green

Any really hot ones?

Nah I aint no faggot.
They keep men and woman seperate. The men dont even really jerk off because they are so medded up. The girls sometimes do some lez stuff but that is rare. More employees fucking the patients then anything.
You have to turn your phone in before your shift

Any employee/patient stories you know or have heard?

A bunch of people are able to find the right medicine combo and go on to lead pretty normal lives.
One guy had just such a fucked up child hood it would have caused anyone to crack. With medicine and therapy he was able to return to normal life and got married and everything.

>Fingered dudes

About once every 3 months someone gets fired for "inappropriateness". Its actually pretty easy, the lady accuse us of stuff all the time even if you dont. They just never investigate it. I guess you have to be pretty outrageous to actually get caught. You would think it would be the awkward older white guys but it normally the younger black guys.

That doesn’t surprise me. I was inna army and it’s alaysnthe nogs getting dragged off by the MPs.

Black culture is a fucking mess right now,

God ducking damnit.

It’s always the nogs.*

My autocorrect is on the rag...

Are there any hot crazies there?

Loads of them and I fuck them all the time

Have any of them attacked you?

seems like bullshit honestly

either don't hire nogs, or make sure they're never alone with the female patients, who they will obviously try to molest/fuck

but taking a crazy womans word for it that something happened is absurd

Ah gotcha, masturbation fantasy thread. Are you nearly finished? It's getting pretty cringe now.

What hospital you in?

Has anyone knocked up a patient?

if you look it up, there was a case where a woman in a coma just gave birth to a baby, while she was still in a coma

the story disappeared from the news when it turned out to be a nog who did it (surprise surprise)

Remember that perspective isn't uniform; while they may be crazy, they may only be crazy in regards to specific things.

I remember the story but didn't know she'd been blacked. Ffs.

its just dogs faggot.... get over it

the modern censorship, how swell

rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/coma-birth-woman-arisona-hacienda-healthcare-776902/

Disappeared my ass..I saw that mug shot all over the place. Just saw it the other day.

any patients who couldn't be knocked out with heavy sedatives?

id be playing with old lady fun bags all fucking day long if i worked in a place like that
not even gona lie

>I have fingered dudes before
>Nah I aint no faggot.

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How much do you get to beat problematic ones?

i get that this is some total homo shit but i can imagine crazies are trying to kiester shit all the time, and there's only one way to get it out

I’ve worked in a psych hospital for 10+ years. None of these stories surprise me.

Unit I work on is 16+ male and female so most of the sexual frustration is taken out on each other. I did have a pretty hot 18 year old offer to fuck me for a ginger ale. My place has a shit load of cameras so getting away with it would be nearly impossible. Lots of girls give you numbers on the way out the door though. One kid ended up trying to hook up with one and got fired.

That mother fucker who bit off his lip sounds nasty. I had a girl with hep C bite me once. Didn’t catch it

Most fucked up thing I saw was some kid barricade himself in a room with windows and climb up into the ceiling tiles. Heart racing like crazy. He had no idea what he was doing and easily could have cut himself and bled out up there.

Overall really fun job. Attracts really fun people to work with

I know I have no good sense because I would obviously call a girl who gave me her number when she was in the psych ward. Why am I like this.

No, hope you die alone.
Faggot.

do you still take bribes to fuck some of the hot ones ?

Nah. I don’t fool around like that. I like my job and my wife is WAAYYYY out of my league. Not worth jeopardizing.

I have had ED girl show me their tits in an attempt to get me to tell them their weight

That's super hot

We have an electric scale that has a cord so you can hide the digits from the patient. The patients have to wear just a single Johnnie so they don’t add to their weight in an attempt to discharge faster.

I had one smoking hot anarexic girl try to grab it from me and wouldn’t give up. I was essentially holding it away from her while she was just in a thong. Lot of contact with her tits. That was the hottest thing that’s happened while I was there

What country/state do you work in?

MA

What country

I work psych in CA. You're thread sounds like a day on the job. Here, it's almost always female staff fucking Male patients. And we seldom use haldol and thorazine anymore. Mostly geodon, abilify, zyprexa.

Xypexa is fucking magic. Some younger guys have really high tolerance for it but it’s insane how well it works in the chicks.
Geodone is old school. Never seems to be the docs first choice but I’ve seen it work wonders.

For seditive we typically use haldol, xyprexa, or respirdal. Often times with a Benzo if they’re not a junkie.

I honestly have so few patient/ staff sexual encounter stories. It just doesn’t happen here. The staff all fuck each other but everybody knows to stay clear of patients in that respect

Yea. As men in the nursing field, we're up to our necks in pussy anyway. Why the hell would we fuck a drug addicted mentally ill high school drop out when there's tons of women (lots of asians if you're into that) who want the D?

Zyprexa's great, but hello type 2 diabetes! IMO clozapine is king, but there's the blood draws.

For quick sedation/stabilization on admission, we use haldol/benadryl/cogentin all IM.

I’ve seen people almost die from clozapine. That’s some dangerous shit. But ya it’s by far the best for the chronically ill.

We had a patient who was 16. Supppppper sexual. Morbidly obese. Low functioning. Was raped by her dad all throughout childhood. Worst patient I’ve ever had. Black.
She would be getting restrained and she would just start grabbing out genitles. She would be butt naked and screaming at us to lick her Pussy distrusting the entire unit. It was brutal. But one time we were trying to get her to her bed for a restraint and she pulled down the shirt of this cute, kinda trashy, super busty nurse. There were just titties everywhere. It was just me and her in the room and we couldn’t stop laughing. She was able to put them away before anybody else came it to help. Pretty funny

How do you get hired to work there

What do you have to have?

We use the “B52”
50 of benydril
2 of Ativan
5/10 of haldol

Usually does the trick haha

Depends on the hospital. I work in one of the better ones in the area (well staffed and maintained.)

We hire people with 4 year psych or human service degrees or have experience working in the field in group homes, other hospitals ect

So he's that dipshit Elon Musk?

literally posted everywhere. You must really want this to be true.

Attached: 200.gif (301x200, 1.75M)

They couldn't tell by the color of the baby's skin?

Never stick your dick in crazy

>be patient at mental hospital
>can tell good tech from bad ones

Fuckin Arc-Light. B-52 strike. Works every time.

In the early days of clozapine, we had 3 patients die of bowel perforation, but no problems from neutropenia. Seen a few clozapine induced seizures.

Worked with super religious lady who insisted on wearing dresses to work despite us telling her not too. Got in a bad tussle one day, and that dress went up over her head in the middle of the hallway in front of about 10 people. She wore pants after that.

The B52 this is hilarious. Mind if I use it?

So...go homo or go home?

female staff fucking the crazy guys?
are these totally disgusting women or are the guys just crazy chads?

>toilet paper balls up his ass
That’s a special kind of cray cray

Go for it. Got it from an old school NP. Nice guy.

Depends on where it is and what you want to do. Some places you can get your foot in the door as a secretary or janitor then work up from there. Most psych places need staff, so it's not uncommon for them to help you with college. Most if not all run extensive background checks.

Not that uncommon. I’ve seen plenty of shit like this

Both. We have a lot of criminals, so a lot of them are pretty slick. Only happens like every other year or so.

/thread

i live in los angeles and was 5150d once. i know the exact type that are in those places
place i was at had zero women nurses tho :/

>The staff all fuck each other

Home Depot - same thing

Not OP, but did a clinical rotation in a locked psych ward. Psychology is fucking fascinating, but psych patients are a pain in the ass. Decided to work ER instead. We try to get rid of these people as quickly as possible.

There's a disturbing cycle that most psych patients go through. They get admitted to the psych ward, get their meds adjusted, get discharged and are fine for a little while, decide they don't need their meds anymore so they stop taking them, start self-medicating with nicotine/alcohol/street drugs, end up losing their shit and get taken to the ER (usually after a police encounter), get involuntarily re-admitted to the psych ward, get put back on their meds, the cycle repeats. Eventually, the cycle finally ends for a lot of them when they OD or commit suicide.

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Any self destructive stories? Like people who always trying to hurt themselves?

I knew a girl my whole life who was institutionalized in and out her whole life for hurting herself. Compulsive cutter. She had her leg ran over by a train in highschool (probably on puropse). Obviously it was amputated and she went way off the deep end after that. She'd spaz out over the smallest things and beat the ever loving shit out of her stump. Her house was full of holes in the walls and broken shit. Everyone who met her was terrified of her but I knew her well and she never posed a threat to anyone but herself.

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any nudes of her?

I've seen rocks in ears, plastic ball with toy inside (from gumball machine) in vag, pencil in dick, fist in ass, all manner of foreign bodies in nose. Saw a guy rip a huge beefy scab off his thigh and eat it like a piece of beef jerky.

That's unusual.
Cutters typically aren't self-destructive. Almost invariably, they cut because the pain is all they think they can feel and the act of cutting relieves anxiety.

So I’ve worked at a psych hospital for a long time I’m constantly telling patients to keep appropriate boundies with peers and yelling at people for hooking up. But really it’s hypocritical because I’d do the exact same thing. Bring a patient is kinda boring. Why not hit on some screwed up chicks. Kill some time, maybe get a hookup after you leave.

We had one guy who was going hard after this younger girl (both black) they clearly were going to hook up after they left. He had AIDS but we couldn’t tell her because they would have violated his HIPPA rights (fasted way to get sued as a hospital). Sucked

idk bout yall but a mental institute sounds like a treasure trove of great tit pics and bj vids if you could manage to sneak a cell phone or cam in

Glad you got it together user. Man, you don't want to get stuck in Metro for 5 years.

This is 100% correct

It's not, dude. Nearly all of these patients are disgusting, look much older than they are, and have terrible hygiene.

i was only in due to a crazy night grief induced drinking after the death of a sibling
drank 2 bottles of absolut mandarin, 12 beers and a bottle of cooking sherry
yes it was stupid, yes i got my shit together
yes it was weird in there

Sad but true. Same with diabetes and hypertension though. "I feel fine. No meds for me." STROKE. Oh fuck!

I don’t find this true. A lot of the chronic patients are nasty but we also get a lot of depressed college kids.

People are very closely monitored though. Much less hookups than people think

Went through this cycle 3 times. First 2 times they had me on zyprexa and the last time they injected me with paleperadone. Learnt my lesson after that.

you've just scared me
i have high blood pressure

>Just dogs
You're the faggot
I'm not even a dog person

Yup. "Appears older than given age" is a commonly used phrase. Most are junkies and/or homeless and look like it. No bueno.

k but if you're into hangers?

It ain't The Silent Killer for nothin'.

Sounds like the original plot of home alone 2.

heymarv.jpg

A penis?

LOADS of cutters come through my hospital. Most don’t know how to reach out for help so that’s how they look for attention. 2 particular times were worse than any others.

Within a week of starting there was a girl who took the underwiring out of her bra and literally sitiched it into her arm. Then she waited for somebody to open her bathroom door and she ripped it out. Then proceeded to try to continue to cut with the metal. She had to be restrained while pouring blood. It was gross. Lots of blood. Lots of stitches.

Second time some anorexic chick pulled a light bulb from the ceiling after breaking the casing and did serious damage to her arms. Like beyond anything I’d ever seen on the unit. I just remember when we stopped her she was just standing there casually, so indifferent about the whole thing. She had some serious sociopathic tendencies

And hepatitis C and wrinkles and scabs and 8 teeth left so broken, decayed, and rotten you can smell them 10 feet away. Help yourself.

You allow bras and uncovered lights? Every psych hospital I’ve been to is completely suicide proof.

Again, not OP.
Here's one of my favorites.

Was working med/surg, and one of the ER nurses told us she's sticking a psych patient in one of our rooms until her ride to the psych hospital arrives, "she's fine, she's not suicidal, you just have to check on her periodically". Ok, sure.

>My turn to check, door's closed. Can't have that.
>Open door.
>She's spraying under her arms with the bathroom disinfectant
>Immediately screams at me, "I'M GOING TO SUE THIS PLACE FOR EXPOSING ME TO AIDS!"
>o...k...
>Take disinfectant away. Redirect her by offering a snack, which she accepts
>Going fine for a few checks
>My turn to check on her. Door's closed again. Step in a puddle outside door.
>What the fuck.
>Open door, which pushes a pool of water with it.
>Crazy lady is now holding the shower hose and spraying down EVERYTHING she can reach, muttering about AIDS again.
>Relocate her, and her ride finally arrives.
>Wade into room to see what the damage is
>Toilet overflowed, stuffed with an intact roll of toilet paper, full box of kleenex, spoon from pudding, dry erase markers, thumbtacks from bulletin board, and the "we care about your bathroom's cleanliness" sign.
>Sigh

Go play fortnight kid

Fat shame her.

Are you clyde

You deal with kids or adults ?
Is it a full on nut house or a rehab /nut house?

So we didn’t allow bras with wires but then our states mental heath department said we had to. Just that one incident.

Light was covered and locked but she broke the locking device. She was pretty clever.

Neither one of these really poses as a suicide risk though. We keep such a close eye on people it makes it close to impossible unless somebody is slacking on the job.

Bridgewater?

All our female patients have to use issued bras that are like cheap sports bras with no metal or support. Here, no shoelaces, belts, scarves.

No that place is fucked though. They killed a kid a couple years ago with. Bad restraint technique. Also not OP

You guys have bendy pens? Those weird screws on everything? The doors that have another inside them reversed so you can’t barricade? No hangers, towel racks that can’t hold weight. Man, I kinda miss it

We probably have similar contraband stuff. We only had that problem with the metal in the bra once. They know if they pull shit like that they’ll be out in johnnies. Goes to show how it’s really not an attempt at all. Just for attention

god this reminds me of my time in a hospital im still fucked up just smoke weed and vape instead of smoke now nothing going for me probably gonna kill myself when i run out of weed or money

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People don't realize how resourceful batshit crazy people can be. Saw a guy make a bong out of a 1/2 pint milk carton and a straw - he was smoking his own hair.

here's some attention

Yup to all.
Joint commission is going hard at ligature risks these last couple years. It’s almost impossible to hang your self

Haha that’s awesome.
We had a guy shit in a SunChips bag and left it for a week then tried to get high off the fumes. Weird world

Not OP, but yup. All non-issue items have to be translucent and in clear containers, eat with soft plastic sporks, can only have water barely hot enough to make tea.

>Most if not all run extensive background checks
What's disqualifying for them?

Probably the usual shit. Any arrests, domestic violence, drug offenses, being declared mentally incompetent by a court. Misdemeanors usually aren't disqualifiers, but might be.

Certain felonies mostly.

wasn't the whole matrix trilogy supposed to be completely remade?
i think i remember hearing something about this

We had a guy that wasn't really psych but severe dementia. He had a tumor on his temple that he kept picking at, so much so that on several occasions he picked open the arterial blood supply to it. Dealt with that in the ER a few times, before the cancer finally killed him.

I was going to guess Bridgewater myself. That place is messed up. I live maybe 30 minutes away. I have a friend that used to work there and he'd tell me fucked up shit all the time. I think it takes a special type of person to do this type of work long term because it has to fuck you up inside.

If OP is still here... What region of MA are you in? I know of a few places, some better than others (slightly) Then there are the prisons out here with their own psyc ward themselves.

Company discretion. My place doesn’t give a shit about drugs but anything violent or sexual would definitely be a disqualifier.

So I'm golden. Thanks, boys. Been looking for a new job. Might apply at a mental hospital as something except I have no nursing experience or anything needed to work there. What job can I get there, janitor and such?

hi, seth

I work at one of the Boston area ones. Lots of respect for anybody who worked at bridewater. I’ve heard some shit. We had an on call doc who was an attending there. They also have the sexual offender unit.

For future reference 1/2 pint is a cup.

Good times. Worked a polydipsia unit. Fucking PM shift hadn't been doing room checks, so it gets dumped on days shift. Place always smells like stale piss, so I don't notice anything unusual. Quickly open a locker drawer about 2'x2'x8"deep and *sploosh* get hit by a tidal wave of a drawer full of cold, stale, days old piss. Fucking gross.

Most places need help on the overnight 11p-7a. If you’re willing to do that to get your foot in the door you can move to other shifts. Nursing assistant or mental health tech

I'm totally willing to do that. Thanks, user. Any tips that could help me get a job at one?

Yea, secretary, whatever. Get your foot in the door then check options for vertical and lateral advancement.

>fantasy's

Thanks, user!

I found mine on Indeed. I have a 4 year psych degree so that helped. I would tell them that you’re looking for a more rewarding profession and are going to school for psych or something comparable. No way of them looking into it and shows that you’re committed to being in the field. I know a place like mine is desperate for overnight help so use that to your advantage

Advancement is tough without live cure but if you like the field that might be something you look into if you want to make it a career

getting my nursing pre-reqs knocked out, any way I could get work at a facility? Have my CNA and am working on my qmap.

Yea he was a guard at Walpole but also a nurse and decided to make money closer to home and got the gig in Bridgewater. I used to think he was exaggerating but some of this shit you can't make up. He's no longer there now.

Stay safe at work, thanks for the thread.

Yea, but the cartons read 1/2 pint. But thanks though. Used to work in a place where the milk was provided by prison workers. Found turds, roaches, and bleach in the milk. Doesn't help when treating the "you're poisoning my food" patients. Told newbies never drink the milk without getting sperm count first.

*licence

Another great one.

>Old dude with a huge beard lives in a nursing home but is mostly independent
>Has a fixed delusion that he's descended from the ancient Pharoahs
>He's white, but whatever. Delusions are rarely logical.
>Even has a harem of old ladies that follow him around the nursing home.
>Fast forward
>Kitchen staff starts to notice a shortage of drinking cups and bowls
>Staff goes on a room-to-room search to retrieve them all
>Finally get to the vault of the Great Pharoah
>As part of his delusion, he'd decided that he needed to preserve his royal seed
>He's been jacking off into the dishes
>Closet is FULL of fouled cups and bowls
>Nursing home bought entirely new dishes
>He's not allowed to eat in his room, or keep any dishes in there anymore
>The old ladies still love him

Right on. Good luck.

Well bois looks like I’m turning gay,

Ya easy. They love people in nursing school. CNA is a bonus but you won’t make as much as you did as a CNA

Haha that’s awesome

Absolutely, but many places are so desperate for staff that they'll invest in your education or at least accommodate it with scheduling changes.

Cool, thanks. I'm planning on getting a degree in Finance but guess they can't check that out so I guess I can say I'm thinking about a psych degree.

How much would I make? I'm doing in home health care right now and getting 14-15/hr. Somne CNA's make good money but god damn nursing homes are a fucking nightmare, a testament to how disfunctional american families are.
sheeit

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Nice.

Do it. I’ve loved it. I left it for a higher paying sales job and Wasnt nearly as happy so I went right back. Love the people I work with

My place starts at 15. But it’s in a city so that makes helps the pay. You can climb up if you’re committed though. Lots of OT available. I make mid 50s

A guy on another unit took a mouth-sized bite out of his biceps and ate it. Some of them have incredible pain tolerance.

Which state?

She wasn't. It was white trash, but just like a white boi, trying to blame another race for something they did.

I live in a big city too, wages are about the same here. TBH, I'm looking not only for experience while I get my nursing stuff done, i'm bored and want something entertaining. Dealing with old people is boring, I want something that will keep me entertained.
FYI, i've literally had most of my jobs because i'm white, shit you not. Nothing old people resent more than having some nigger or spic clean em, they see my white ass it's like they just saw Jesus.
CO

it was a nigger. they even got his dna sample. stop being sad, tyrone.

It can be entertaining. It will be dangerous at times, disgusting, tragic, infuriating. It can be like a rect thread, except you can see, smell, hear, feel, and sometimes even taste (yup - fuckin' gross) it.

>The staff all fuck each other

restaurants too

Meh, had dangerous jobs before, no biggie. Also, changing careers, white collar is fucked. With medical I can just transfer esp. once I get my RN. Looking to go north, charter north hospital in Anchorage has always facinated me.

It was definitely a black guy.

I'm definitely going to look into it. Thanks!

confirmed nigger spreading disinformation
lynch yourself

I hate getting spit on worse than getting hit. Nasty. The other day I saw a coworker get hit by a huge loogie point blank. Some got in his mouth. Off to get HIV/HCV baseline bloodwork.

Crazy chads
I’ve seen literal Chad Mcthundercocks get put in the nut house for attempted suicide

abc15.com/news/region-phoenix-metro/central-phoenix/hacienda-healthcare-sex-assault-suspect-pleads-not-guilty-in-court

This
They took my boots belt and jacket with buttons and we had to sign medical/ legal documents in motherfucking crayon.
I signed mine with blue it’s mg favorite color

Alaska pays very well. Just keep away from coke/crank. RN is very versatile and pays well. Think about NP in the future.

Re: dangerous- in mental health you can't hit back, you don't have tasers, pepper spray, and usually no security guards or goon squad. It's usually you and 2 or 3 5'2" nurses fighting some batshit galoot for a minute or so until help arrives. You wanna hit them, expect to lose whatever license or certification you have, a fine, maybe jail, and forget any future in health care.

They say Glenn Fry wrote Hotel California about his time at Camarillo State Hospital.

I know a fucking mental girl. She disappears a lot... Is really fucking weird and draws disturbing porn.

Or beating the shit out of his girlfriend or her parents. And maybe the cop responding to the call.

uh, no.

typical stupid nigger

Retard lying about retarded things to lie about. That story is on the front page of huffpo crime, al jazeera US, CNN crime, and MSNBC.