Tell me a joke Yea Forums!

What’s worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it ? Being raped

how do you call a crippled faggot?
christoph

lol, u real?

no

What ass grows under the balcony?

Grass

Why was the anti-vaxxer's 2 year old kid crying?

He had a midlife crisis.

In Soviet Russia or some shit they wanted to conduct a personality test on the different nationalities, so they have a chair with a hidden nail on the seat. First they ask a Russian to come in and sit on the chair, he does, feels the spike up his ass leaps up "SOOKA BLYT!" looks back at the chair and kicks it over and storms off.
The researchers note down the results.
Next they bring in a Ukrainian, they ask him to come in, sit on the chair. He feels the spike, leaps up... looks back: he pockets the nail! "Might be useful later"
The researchers note the results, nothing unusual.
So they replace the nail and next they invite in a Belorussian. He comes in, sits on the chair... he sits there... nothings happening. After a while one of the researchers wonders if they remembered to put on a new nail and asks
>Doesn't it hurt Comrade?
And the Belorussian replies
>I thought it was suppose to?

I guess it's not as funny if you're not an American

>If you could understand Morse code a tapdancer must be fucking annoying

>I hate when people say "here's a photo of me when I was younger". Dude, EVERY photo of you is when you're younger. Show me one of you when you was older I'll be like "whoa, how did you do that?"

>I haven't slept for 10 days, because that would be too loooooong

>A broken escalator is just stairs

>I was standing around enjoying a beer at the Casino and some guy comes up to me and says "sir could you move, you're blocking the fire exit".....If you're flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit!

>I think bigfoot is blurry and that's the problem. And that's even scarier, because it means there is a big out of focus creature running the countryside!

>You ever buy that pepridge farm bread man. That shit is fancy man, it's double wrapped. You open it, and it still ain't open. I don't buy it because I don't need another step between me and toast!

>I saw a wino eating grapes, I was like "whoa man, you have to wait"

>I don't have a girlfriend, but I know a girl who'd be real mad at me for saying that

>i think one reason printing presses are so noisy is so that if somebody yells "stop the presses!", no one will hear them

>Scientists have discovered a dog with the brain of a cat. He growls when you try to take it form him.

>Inside each and everyone of us is a skeleton trying to get out

>Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why some of us died of tuberculosis.

Attached: Chicken.jpg (240x238, 9K)

>What do you call a group of black people in the ocean?

Oil spill

>How do you get an African woman pregnant?

You cum on a rock, let flies hover around, and eventually, she'll sit on it.

perfect

You just ripped every one of those from the late great mitch headberg. Shame on you.

It's hilarious how unfunny and unimaginative the /pol/tards turn out to be.

How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

They don't. They just beat the room for being black.

I sure did, glad someone appreciates the work of a true master.

HAHAHAHA

BLACKS ARE DUMB

HAHAHAHAHHA

COMEDY GOLD

What's the difference between a black and a bucket of shit?
The bucket

This thread is worse than Hannah Baker in bathtub

I like my 12 year olds like I like my Mexicans

In labour

And it's sad that you can't do any better if it's that bad

discord
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.gg/n3ExgMG

>Duck walks into a store and asks the store owner “Do you have any grapes?”
>Owner says “Sorry, no.”
>Next day, duck walks into same store
>Asks owner “Hey, got any grapes?”
>Owner replies, “Like I told you yesterday, we don’t carry grapes.”
>Following day duck comes back, asks owner “Do you have any grapes?”
>Owner gets pissed off and yells back at duck, “Like I told you...we don’t stock grapes. If you ask me again, I’m going to take those webbed feet of yours and nail them to the counter!”
>Next day, duck comes in again. He finds the owner and asks, “Do you have any nails?”
>”No.” owner responds through clenched teeth.
>”Good,” the duck replies, “do you have any grapes?”