I'm a professional dog trainer. Ask me anything

I'm a professional dog trainer. Ask me anything.

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What do you do for a living?

Lel

Mostly fix computers. Hoping to have a small facility for training some day.

How do I train a dog to poop outside.

If I jam my mutt's tail up his asshole will he stop shitting on the damned carpet?
Also, who's your favorite MLP?

Start from square one, like you're potty training a puppy. Dog stays in the kennel or supervised unless it's outside. Better your chances if the dog is on a strict eat/drink & go outside schedule. Extra special rewards and praise for going outside.

How do I train my dog to not bite my vagina when she’s eating peanut butter from my asshole

how the hell do i get my dog to stop barking at guests and anyone who knocks on the door?

Probably not, and I guess Rainbow Dash; I've only seen that show a little.

>female
no

How to train the dog to track any scent?

get rid of your door so there is nothing to knock on

Slowly and carefully. When the dog hurts you, say no firmly and stop the activity for a short time. Good luck, lol.

She’s not a pup she was a homeless Belgian malinois i found on a hunting lease. She listens. It refuses to shit outside. The bitch will go outside and piss bit shits after she comes in. Only reason I haven’t gotten rid of her is she’s a damn good guard dog.

The dog needs desensitized to the sound of the door knocking noise, and it needs socialized to strangers. Take it out walking more. Have strangers pet it and give it treats. Knock on the door periodically with no one coming inside. Big praise when he reacts more calmly than he did before, or deals with strangers in a friendly way.

Doesn't matter what age she is. That's how you potty train a dog. If she's that stubborn about it, DO NOT let her use the bathroom inside under any circumstance. Give her breakfast, and a drink, and take her for an hour walk. That will get most dogs bowels moving.

I’ve done that but she still bites. I just want to finish blowing my clam juice but she bites right as I’m about to.

How do I get my stupid dog from peeing on my fucking tires!

Start with pieces of dog food. Let the dog smell the food. Put the food in front and give whatever command you want to use to track. When the dog "finds the food", big praise. Start moving the food farther and farther away until you're hiding it. Help the dog find it by standing near it until they understand the game. Once he's good at the game, introduce new objects. Start with things the dog will want to find, bits of ham or w/e.

I hate that shit and checkd

what's the point of having a dog if it won't guard your home

Why did jesus appear in my dog’s ass?

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If you get excited, the dog will likely get excited. The dog might be reacting to you. Try to desensitize it to you being excited. Get excited and tell it no when it starts getting excited in response. Praise whenever it starts reacting more calmly.

How train to not pull leash

You ever put peanut butter on your balls and make them lick it?

Is that how LE agencies train tracker dogs.

Probably impossible. As long as other dogs are marking them, which they likely are, your dog will always mark. You may be able to train this out with discipline, but if you go too hard, your dog might get confused about where to go to the bathroom. You could maybe get some tires that haven't been marked, and discipline whenever he goes over to them to mark them. Make sure you correct BEFORE he starts peeing on the tires. :\

Pretty much.

I haven't seen him anywhere else.

You need a training collar. A slip chain, or prong collar if it's a particularly stubborn dog. Look up a video on how to properly use or you risk hurting the dog or yourself.

Nope

Hard to believe you're a dog trainer with that answer.

I believe in positive and negative reinforcement.