What's YOUR excuse for not enlisting fag?

'Cause I'm trying to join the Army.

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lole
im ded

I have diabeetus.

I have a job and an education unlike you.

They're not called seamen for nothing!

Thought about it seriously in highschool then I got diagnosed with schizophrenia.

I can work in an office and have a normal life by not being dragged off to fight for oil/jews

I enlisted back in 99 but couldn't get through MEPS due to a tattoo. Oh well.

I dont like crayons

Just because they make sure you're not clinically retarded doesn't mean you're not stupid.

Too fat. Also, the wages (even being jrotc) would have netted me about 10.75 an hour. Much happier at my current job.

no high school diploma
>rip

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because the US military is the largest terrorist organization in the world and i don’t wanna kill brown children in another country just for some oil companies.

I have a mind of my own thanks

Nice trip habibi.

Already did my time

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I'm not throwing away my life for rich assholes that buy legislation from corrupt assholes that don't do their jobs. I already pay them my taxes.

trips of fucking truth

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I'm not american

u forgot coast guard you bitch

I got a degree in engineering

I did the USMC thing. Not worth it

rah?

I paid attention in school

Don't listen to this cock suck. The hours are long, the pay is shit, and the leaders are all mouth-breathing mongoloids. I ETS in two months, I don't regret doing it, but it still sucks balls. I'll always laugh at all these indef reenlistment retards with their

I’ll kill brown children for free

i'm not gay

>America is a terrorism!

Just die already.

I can't swim.

Lmfao the military is full of sensitive fucking pussy children anyway. Thats why I left after 11 years. Bunch of fucking pansies. The women dont do shit and just spend all day at medical or dental or the chaplain or some stupid ass excuse as to why they cant work and the men complain about how hard the work is and people picking on them. Fuck our pussified military. It all went downhill when we started making women admirals and shit... then they started changing policies because they're so fucking emotional and dont belong on a goddamned battlefield.

A conscience and desire to not kill random innocents

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>admirals
>battlefield
Fucking pick one squid.

I'm not a dumb idiot

You are dumb or an idiot, idiot.

no way

Fuck off chode. You know nothing

There is no innocence, only degrees of guilt.

And most of those degrees are still too innocent to warrant an execution sentence. His point stands.

Navy is full of fags... OP is right where they belong.

Signed up at seventeen. Did my stint. It was good.

One of the first things we teach you is NOT to die for your country. You're no good to the country as a corpse. Keep talking about things you know nothing about.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha why would I do such a stupid thing? You stupid. Go back to stupidville. Stupid asshole. So stupid!

Type 1 diabetes. They dont take disabled fucks like me

I'll join in a year and a half I just have to get a few things settled before then.

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2 fat

good thing the military weeds you soyboy's out anyway.you'd probably shit your diapers when a drill instructor yelled at you

I'm not a pawn / mercenary to be used as fodder for some rich white oldass

I hope the PTSD is worth your serving those who make the entire world harder to live in.

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Because Yea Forums discussions convinced me that girls don't belong in the military.

Nobody gives a fuck about those coast guard fags

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Study up and gtfo off of this site till then you underageb&

Hello Sarge!

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In the navy You're either popeye or a fag

I get boners when I shower with other men.

I don't need to be a welfare queen, I can make it in the real world.

Too clever

Cause im smart enough to get an actual career

>america backs 70% of all dictatorships
>supports and arms terrorists in yemen
>constantly breaks international law
>is currently supporting an illegal coup in Venezuela

“Bu...but.. America only does these for humanitarian reasons”

Yea, it just so happens that the middle east and Venezuela have the largest oil reserves on earth

Not gay, so Navy is out.

Not a yank, so US Navy is out.

Thanks, a Brit Squaddie

Don't call a sergeant "sarge" in the Marines.

dont want to get friendly fire shot in the back by some jealous ass cuck

>America only does these for humanitarian reasons
America only does these for economic reasons
FTFY

Fag

Truth

He said enlist not commission pussy

T. Ahkmed

fuckface

haha how completely useless do you gotta be to be a sergeant with that few decorations. push paper at a desk soyboi?

Hes still a fag but thats how its supposed to be worn

triple ates n u gay af kys

The degrees cant be too innocent if there is no such thing as innocence in the first place. His point still shits. I mean sits.

Lost lol

canada is america you flaming fagoo

corps doesn't throw medals and promotions around like the army

Bone spurs in my heels

My far left anti-war parents convinced me not to. I had planned on joining the marines, and I gave to their ways. Regret it to this day. I'm 30 now with plantar fasciitis so I can't even run now let alone enlist and pass boot camp.

pack of lies except of course its for the oil you child

surely you meant to ask this of President Bone Spurs?

i actually have goals in life and wont convert into being a welfare queen just to "serve my country". There are much better ways to serve my country. Also I am above average intelligence which means I am not cannon fodder for isis

I got ligma from too much minecraft

because enlisting is for retards who didn't go to college. Commission and command people to die for you

/thread

Because my mind is far too free for that line of work. They refused to let me in.

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>it's not a phase dad.

I have autism

crohns and depression. fuck the depression its mostly crohns. but nah i wouldnt do that to myself

I would have Private Pyle'd for sure, and an Osprey/Arab farmers will eventually do that anyway.

So job redundance.

So honestly what do one of you military fuckers make. My friend who was a colonel was going to quit to get an MBA. He said he had been in the military more than 10 years. Seemed like he made decent money but not more than 150k for 10 years of service.

Honestly sounds pathetic. I didnt go cause I'm greedy and thought there was way better ways of making money.

So what are the benefits anyway? Basically a get out of jail free card if you messed up in high school? Yeah sounds like just a massive congregation of idiots the more I think of it.

Medical disqualifica- wait I’ve already told you

No need, the next major war will be citizen Vs. citizen.

Wow the amount of ingorant statments regariding reasons not to join.

For myself i used the military as a way to improve my situation. I came from a lowere middle class white family that couldn’t afford to send me to colllege. So I joined the Army as an Air Traffic Controller. Now 21 years later. I am retired making 104k a year from my job as a civilian Air Traffic Controller and another 30k a year in retirement (retirement portion is after taxes btw.) plus I have free healthcare the rest of my life for me and my wife. So guess i was a dumbass for joining huh.

I make $220k/yr in the private sector. Why the fuck would I give that up to be a low-paid peon?

I’m past the age you can enlist unless draft.

I did
Regreting it hard

This

The aptitude test is written and designed for someone with a middle school education. Exceptional scores will qualify you for jobs that actually require a brain but passing it just means that you are literate and have basic comprehension skills.

Nice larp.

I’m in the Navy

Because I'm not a knuckle dragging idiot?

>Army
No thanks, no desire to serve as cannon fodder.
>Marines
No thanks, no need to compensate for a small dick.
>Air Force
No thanks, I'm not gay.
>Navy
No thanks, no need to fuck foreign hookers.
>Coast Guard
LOL.

Active duty USMC infantry. Have a big cock. You wrong soi boy. Have fun being cucked by me pussy

Too much soy milk growing up

I rest my case. Your wife is fucking a nigger while you're gone. You chose to play soldier over good pussy. Congrats: you're the cuck, sugar.

This is what a real marine wife looks like.

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Because everyone knows the Navy is for fagets

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Enlisted but was rejected at MEPs due to previously undiagnosed sleep seizures.

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Kek. I wouldn't marry a women whose not racist. Why marry someone who doesnt get the big picture

Back in 1988....killing someone even in self-defense could keep you from being eligible for entry...I know it happened to me

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We want you!
We want you!
We want you as a new recruit!

In the Navy, you can sail the seven seas.
In the Navy, you'll get venereal disease.

Pog, but good job getting Sgt in first 4 years. My mos is slow to pick up. Might lat move to 45xx

Wow you direct planes user, every one bow down to the hero

i wasn't loud and obnoxious enough in high school

Not all leadership is that way, I got a wife who's 115?? Who works and 2 kids. Couple of paid off cars and two houses. You can make it work mane. Here have some tits of my wife.

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Three of them are given to you just for time in service a d the other is a NAM that may hold some weight but honestly those are pretty common. Not even an overseas ribbon. Come on Sargent, seems like you got a skate job.

Because your commander in chief is a fake bone spur pussy. So by trickle down fagomomics the core is now fags. As is army navy and airforce. Just a big group of fags.

Is that what she told you?

Minimum wage to be a bullet magnet? LOL, no thanks.

NVM. I see the overseas ribbon. I'm fucked. Seems pretty standard though.

Yeh,use the proper term for a marine: Homo

Am not American

>calls people fags for not enlisting
>posts department of the navy
>double fag because of OP

don't be stupid join the air force
fuck the corps cause eventually it will fuck you

Maybe you should shit for brains. What do you do then?

my excuse is I have autism

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I'm a qualified underwater welder who travels all over the world doing my job faggot, direct your fag planes

Been there, done that, not going back.

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I already gave those fuckers 6 years of my miserable life. The marine corps didn't do anything for me but give me anger issues.

Dear user...
I noticed your picture was broken so I went ahead and fixed it for you.

>You're welcome!

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Semper Fi, brother.

Thanks user, but I think my one was better

Hahaha your talking smack about my profession. To fucking funny see ya bitch

That sounds like what a poof yells to another so he knows thet he's Cumming

Your basically a tard hurder

I was an MOS 1345 and I had to sweat my fucking balls off in that Iraq heat for months

See, you fucked you there. It's not going to do anything for you, you are given the tools and you do it yourself. 3 years in and got my BA, got my A+ cert, sec+ and net+ for free and on my second house.

Honestly it's what MOS you choose to go into.

Felony, on medication

I beat my meat so hard to furry porn when i was in afghanistan i almost felt like one of the natives.

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I did newfag, 08-16, fuck career, i need more capussy

Just got my Option 40 contract for the Army faggot.

Hell yeah. I’ve never seen my PSG so weirded out as when he found the communal yiff stash

>For the Army
Pffffft pussy, enjoy throwing your red cards like youre jugglin balls on soccer faggot.
>inb4 projecting

Because college was free with scholarships and now Google is paying me $200k so I live in a fancy apartment and have fun in the city all week, don't really have time to go down in a submarine or whatever the Navy does.

I never understood going army over marines.

lmao not even mad
gave me a good laugh

diagnosis of schizophreniform at a young age. Just before I hit 18 or as I turned 18.

The only reason I chose Army is cause I want to go SF eventually. I was in Marine Corps ROTC but fuck the officer route lmao.

Adding onto my old post... Other then that I would've done it as I really wanted too and I heard that the Army is taking in people with similar cases with a waiver (?) Don't know how true that is but I replied hoping to see if anyone had info on that perhaps behind-the-scene (active-duty) kinda info would be really nice.

Your asking, why hasn't literally everybody in the military.

Why isint everyone, or at least every person on Yea Forums in the military?

Maybe because there's other things to do.
Some people may have a conscientious objection. Perhaps some people's desired career field does not exist within the wide range of careers in the military.

Maybe they just don't want to.

Are you fucking retarded?

Is there not a minimum intelligence to be a Marine?

You can just go 03 field and choose whatever specialty you want from there. SF is a pipedream and you will more than likely wash out and become a radio operator or some kind of utility. maybe a cook. FT Lee is smelly tho

There's Army in San Francisco? I mean I know there's the Presidio but it's all golf courses and old people houses. And the Armory is a gay king club now.

That's why I chose to go Rangers first. Hope to get my ass into the 75th.

because I'm 50 and served 7 years (active/ready reserve, 4 as Chief/SR Chief + 6 yrs inactive reserve)

I'm too busy fucking all the enlisted guys' gfs while they are at bootcamp

Army in SF? I'm talking Special Forces lmfao.

I dont know much about the army or MOS availability but do you even get that as a start contract or is it like the seals thing where you already have to be part of a unit and receive recommendations?

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Look at all these beta soy boy cock suckers who not only couldn’t make it through a week of boot, but probably can’t even get themselves outside of their apartment for more than a couple hours at a time.

Yeah you have to wait for an Option 40 enlistment where you go OSUT->RASP->Airborne. I'm finishing a semester in college then getting myself the fuck out of dodge.

Shut the fuck up pog.

Killing people on orders because some fatass senators approved a declaration of war is the peak of cuckoldry.

Of you score high enough on AFQT and GT, you could choose what you want. I scored extremely high and told them I wanted intelligence. So they took a day and opened up two slots and put me in one. Bam, 8 years later here I am, having been around the world, conducted interrogations, saw combat in Afg, collected intel in East Asia and Europe, so on and so on.

I'm the opposite. only now the VA pays me disability for it

Found the soyboy pussy.

I don't want to be a welfare whore

Good luck, I was a bulk fuel specialist and hated every damn day of it,and when my unit closed i was suddenly a generator mechanic without being told about it.Only mos change i had and it was a crapshoot because i never got training.

Israel isn’t worth dying for

Cause the navy is gay guy go army

Says the faggot hanging onto his vinyl albums and bad scotch

You wish you could have my life nigger. I’m US Army stationed at Eglin AFB. Let me know if you get the significance behind that one.

epilepsy.
air force doesn't like it either i guess.
its a shame. i wanted that kind of structure and discipline in my life.

>high school
Fuck off, kid. Come back later.

We hunt people faggot. You would trade places with me if you could. But you can’t. Go attempt suicide again cunt

Sucks, man. Sorry to hear.

Because I don't give a shit who killed Franz Ferdinand

I'm in the 101st Airborne I'm good

My excuse is the animal dander allergy induced asthma. Wanted to join after high school, had great cardio, mid tier strength in a school that emphasized athletics.. But if there's a fucking cat in the room I turn into a sickly Jewish boy named Irwin.

Hate to hear that. As a combat vet, I’ll just say thanks for trying bud.

KEK

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I'm not gay enough to join the Navy's bitch. Army or air force my peeps.

Got higher than C's in high school and I didn't exclusively have one talent which would be varsity football

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damn this threads got me thinking about how disappointed i was to hear it from the recruiter. it really would've changed my life. and that sweet sweet self discipline. i used to have it when i was younger but it just disappeared. and having something so much larger than me to serve, a greater cause almost.

fuck. i wish i could've made it work.

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Thanks for your service sir

Not gay enough to join the navys bitch...
>so ill join the pussies.
Im lost user.

Severe scoliosis + 50% hearing loss.

Israel deliberately murdered USA sailors. The IMMENSE influence that Israel and Jews across the planet including USA citizen Jews have upon the USA government and various monolithic corporations keeps billions of USA taxpayer dollars flowing to ungrateful Israel and keeps Israel deeply immersed in USA affairs.

A HUGE scam that HAS TO END!!!!!

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Bummer you can't get your whacko conspiracy theory on wikipedia tho, guess its controlled by the jews right?

"USS Liberty was originally the 7,725 long tons (7,849 t) (light) civilian cargo vessel Simmons Victory, a mass-produced, standard-design Victory Ship, the follow-on series to the famous Liberty Ship that supplied the Allies with cargo during World War Two. It was acquired by the United States Navy, converted to an Auxiliary Technical Research Ship (AGTR),[9] (a cover name for NSA "spy ships" doing signals intelligence) and began its first deployment in 1965, to waters off the west coast of Africa."

"Israel apologized for the attack, saying that the USS Liberty had been attacked in error after being mistaken for an Egyptian ship.[6] Both the Israeli and U.S. governments conducted inquiries and issued reports that concluded the attack was a mistake due to Israeli confusion about the ship's identity"

"In May 1968, the Israeli government paid US$3.32 million (equivalent to US$23.9 million in 2018) to the U.S. government in compensation to the families of the 34 men killed in the attack. In March 1969, Israel paid a further $3.57 million ($24.4 million in 2018) to the men who had been wounded. "

fucking russians infest Yea Forums

we get it, you're on putins payroll, go eat a babushka pirogi and swig some vodka and chill

russias computer cafe 10 cents a post army hittin this thread hard

Because I work at the VA and I've seen how much you get fucked up by the military, and how little it gets better when you're out. No thanks.

Don't need an excuse. Not interested

what mean anoon

Nigga thanos

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Because Navy is for pussies and Marines can't do shit alone.

HOOAH!!!

JK only love for my brother's, even if they were too mentally handicapped to be in the Army. ;p