I feel like I fucked up.
Me and my girlfriend were talking about some things today, and it ended up becoming a gigantic argument.
I want to be positive and support my girlfriend to become healthier, but whenever she points out my negatives I feel like a shit boyfriend. She told me to “stop feeding her sweets,” when I don’t think of doing that gesture to get her bigger. I just give her little things here and there and when she tells me that I shouldn’t do it, I understand.
But she keeps bringing it up. She keeps bringing up my flaws. What I do wrong. At the same time, she looks out for me and I try to do the same for her, but we end up getting into serious miscommunications.
Now she won’t talk to me and I sent her texts saying that I’m a terrible shit boyfriend.
What the absolute fuck do I do, Yea Forums?
I feel like I fucked up
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she's crazy and will only bring you heartache. forget about her
I'd ditch that shit man. It'll only hurt you more.
Relationships are work user... Women are different from us.
Be open and honest with her about how you feel. As a man, it's important to stand your ground in a mature and respectful way. The fear of losing your girl is real, sure... But getting used to an unhealthy dynamic at your own expense is not an option.
If she's getting chubby, stop bringing her candy. It's not your fault she's becoming a BBW, she's not mature enough to accept responsibility for her own shortcomings.
Work on your faults if the criticism is constructive. Shut her down when the criticism is a deflection of her own faults. You both need to grow as people. If she refuses to mature alongside you, it's time to move on.
That’s what I’d originally think, but this was caused by anger in an argument. I feel like it’s not always like this, but at the same time she drives me nuts. She loves me but she’s just crazy.
You guys think it’s permanent?
I doubt she’s as crazy as you say. Have you pointed out anything that bothers you about her? Make sure it’s constructive, stuff she can actually change or fix. Tell her how pointing out flaws makes you feel and if she cares she’ll find a different way to tell you that doesn’t feel like she’s putting you down. Communication is key if you want a relationship to last
I didn’t get the chance because she turned off her phone for the last few hours. She hung up on me after our argument and I haven’t been able to speak to her.
yeah if she's vindictive like that and enjoys putting you down, that kinda shit doesn't change. she might hide it away for 6 months, a year, whatever and I bet when she's nice, it's like you've died and gone to heaven. but it will rear its head again. I goddamn guarantee it. shit like that is rooted deep in one's own self and she's most likely been like that for most of her life. I don't doubt you love her one bit and this isn't what you want to hear but I'm just trying to save you the inevitable trouble. godspeed brother
Let her cool but tell her when you do get a chance dumbass. You can’t fix this instantly. Relationships take work. If she isn’t willing to change or belittles you for being open to her about your feelings, leave her.
Wife and I were like that. We are separated for a year now. We were married for over 20 years and it never changed and never will. Some people just can't be together.
>what am i doing wrong
you are telling her she's fat, and then feeding her sugary shit and junkfood.
she's making it painfully obvious to you, user.
just stop buying her food, or cook her healthy meals instead.
Thanks user...I’ll keep it in mind.
I plan to, because I’ve had enough of feeling backstabbed. I do love her, but if it’s going to continue like this it’ll be hard to carry on normally.
Why did you guys separate?
also, limit caloric input and carbohydrates means cardio.
go for runs with her, and walks, and bike rides.
I didn’t even call her fat. I do cook healthy meals a lot actually funny you mention it. Vegetable noodles for dinner with spinach and garlic, fried egg whites and smoothies for breakfast, all that good shit. But if I surprise her with a chocolatey dessert I shouldn’t fucking be scorned for it.
well are you two exercising? eating healthy is just part of it user. You need to exercise a few times a week at least, get a PF gym member ship with her, they arent expensive, go together, and research exercises or you can do at home together.
are the meals balanced?
if she's still bringing it up then just don't surprise her with any sweets keep it organic.
you are giving her candies? are you a pedobear or shit? she has to take responsibility for her own life and don't blame you for being fat. But because she is sad and frustrated about her situation she is attacking you.
You and only you have to decide if she makes you happy... truly happy. If yes, accept that she is a fucking bitch and don't get emotional like a woman, if not-> dump her and find another fat bitch.
>im a terrible shit boyfriend
Christ you're the male version of a psycho girlfriend.
this. but you attract what you are. so this male psycho guy has a fat psycho bitch
this is if you want to come off as a rock, which is good because then she has a support structure that is sturdy, but if she wants a pillow to cry into then you are gonna come across the wrong way.
>but you attract what you are.
do you live your whole life believing in shit platitudes?
then don't surprise her with it lmao, let her get her own desert.
easy solution to an issue where there seems to be something more deep seated.
Ding dong! Especially on this putrid site.
what even is magnetism.
She clearly doesn't want to change but enjoys the power she wields over you (i.e. making you feel like shit)
She's a POS and abusing the fact that you dont want to leave her, in order to wield power over you bro. You can do better.
Took me 3 yrs to realize what I'm telling you, now. Dump her and don't look back. You'll be happier for it just as I am.
Would you rather people believed in opposites attract? Mentally ill people seek out other mentally ill people without knowing it.
psycho people are a flame that burns off of someone they take advantage of. they don't look for another flame to be bigger; flames themselves are not a source of fuel, they look for a log they can take advantage of and use up.
Grow a fucking spine, you sound like a little bitch, no wonder she's pissed.
Yes, we work for beach body. I guess no more sweets, but I don’t have all the money in the world to surprise her with expensive items. I also want to keep the relationship fresh
Fuck you, man.
She is 100% manipulating you, you are clearly describing a narcissist and that's something very hard to work with in a relationship, most people like that wont ever change so don't get your hopes up anyway.
the sad part is that they do it without realizing it, but if she is already an adult and keeps doing that then she is comfortable with getting you and others down.
just that thing about complaining when you give her sweets tells a lot, seems like the kind of person that can never be pleased and doesn't understand kindness.
just my thoughts on what little you wrote but those conflicts are the kind that just keep getting harder and harder.
she obviously has her own fucking instabilities. I'd avoid her
Thats some retard level psychology metaphorical musings bro.
lanky pathetic weak user + mentally ill fat girl = bad relationship
who would have guessed
stop surprising her.
if you want to surprise her with food, make it healthy.
I'm not telling you she needs different surprises.
maybe the lesson here is keep the gifts to the holidays and anniversaries.
This is an easy problem to have, just let her be fat and miserable, remind her the more you treat her badly the better the make up is. Treat her badly, but then treat her good with surprise dick. Make sure you really drive it home and tell everyone what a fat uselss slut she is. Brag about how you are losing weight getting her all her fucking snacks.
stop fucking surprising her then? jesus christ it's like you think she requires it or something.
fucks sake.
>I sent her texts saying that I’m a terrible shit boyfriend.
you just became beta to her, it's lost, move away
this OP, stop being a fuckin idiot.
quora.com
It takes a very specific person to get on with. There has to be enough of a mutual respect between the different brain functions. You as the psychopath have to be willing to put in the work and try to understand the emotional aspects the other person might be struggling with. It is not a natural state for us and require continual self monitoring. When disagreements arise, and they most certainly will, you have a conundrum to deal with. Their response to the situation and your response to the situation are going to be polar opposite. Finding a way to work within that and hear them from their point of view is an art.
The same can be said for the person on the other side. They have to see your point of view and try to understand your thought process. We are very logical and the other person may get very emotionally involved. We exploit and use other people's emotions to our own advantage, but really, you can't. You have to decide to do differently. I can't speak for others, but I can be incredibly cruel when I am in an argument. I know how to hurt someone in the worst ways possible. This tends to end fights quickly, but friendships as well. You can't use people that are close to you as battering practice, you have to choose to handle it differently.
meh find someone else.. plenty of gay 'love' out there.. strange how straight men can accuse gays of being flamboyant but you could accuse them of being overly emotional and 'delicate' in relationships like sensitive little faggot flowers. hypocrites.
youre a faggot OP
yes, what you are talking about is narcissism. You have to be a psycho bitch to "burn" your bf off, but you also have to be a psycho fag to let someone shit on your head like that.
>Would you rather people believed in opposites attract? Mentally ill people seek out other mentally ill people without knowing it.\
No, I'd rather believe the truth; that attraction is complex and can't be broken into anecdotal phrases and simplistic platitudes, and that it has no set rules for everyone, and changes even for the same person over time. Sure, you can be a retard about it and lump all of human attraction into cliched little saying, but they carry about as much validity as comparing astrological signs to gauge attraction; they don't.
No one in this fucking situation is a psychopath you fucking moron.
no you idiot, the manipulated do not manipulate, and they try to stick around because of stockholm syndrome, aka, beaten wife syndrome.
no fucking shit, I just pointed that out to the other user, im sorry you are too stupid to follow a conversation properly.
Why do bipolar people end up with other bipolar people? Is it because they enable eachothers bad habits and mania? hmm maybe. Studies exist for a reason. Dismissing things and calling them platitudes is fucking small minded.
never go to the gym with your girl. ever. that could end up being the last place on earth you get any time alone. especially if y'all have kids or whatever. don't fucking do it.
I am the other user you fucking cretin. What you said is still bullshit and doesn't relate to your copy pasted nonsense abut psychopaths.
>[citation needed]
ITT: people call randos psychopaths and forget the first rule of psychopaths: they are emotionless and lack empathy because they have never experienced an emotion.
Look up any study about how bipolar people manage relationships and read it for yourself kek
Some people become enamoured by their inability to change they push the fault on their loved ones. From what I've experienced, this only gets worse. At the very least least you shouldn't feel bad about it.
Literally no one called anyone a psychopath except for the retarded user hereEveryone else agrees shes just mentally ill, probably bipolar or has some sort of personality disorder. Except this guyHe thinks himself too smart to accept any ideas.
Also OP is pathetic and causing problems as well
I have bipolar disorder and I can tell you for a fact that BP people end up with one another because they're the only people on earth who understand what it's like and the only ones who will put up with it. that's all there is to it.
thats me explaining exactly WHY no one here is a psychopath you fucking retard, learn how to read.
>I was the other user you were talking to
then you are the guy who came into the thread and said "yo OP you are the male version of a psycho girlfriend, a psycho boyfriend."
Plus you can just get eachother manic and take speed right? Kek
lmfao what a lonely life you must live. I love going to the gym with my wife, we compete against each other.
Shitty boyfriend roughly translates to not enough dick. She is just a cock whore like any other chick lets be honest, and when it comes to it romance is just a fantasy. Just be a shitty boyfriend and have two girls or a few to fuck on the side everytime she criticizes you tell her you got her best interests in mind and give her shitty boyfriend traffic as perk.
Stop taking things literally you autist psycho means crazy not literally psychopathic.
I bet everyone in the gym fucking despises you.
wrong my mom is bipolar and my dad just ignores it until she cries and switches cuz since he is intelligent he knows she'll eventually wear herself out, and he doesn't feel other people's emotions so he's well equipped to stand there like a rock and calmly support her saying "it's ok."
In my experience, two bipolar people just cause eachother to spiral horribly. Goodbye meds.
yes, my dad is a functioning psychopath. the only time he raises his voice is to get people yelling at each other (me and my mom) to shut up, and then he explains why we are both dumb and we apologise.
right because I run on the treadmill next to my wife and we both compete who can complete 5 miles the quickest.
Clearly everyone in the gym hates us, lol.
We're pretty quiet and keep to ourselves at the gym, but yeah man everyone hates us because we happen to be a couple who likes going to the gym together.
What is life like being an incel? Are you constantly angry at the world?
perfect example is the time my mom was arguing with me over computer use when i was trying to finish an assignment and wasn't letting her on. my dad let us yell at each other while he went upstairs, went full naked, put on a toga like ceasar, and stood at the bottom of the stairs screaming "SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP" and sustaining it until we held our ears, then calmly explaining that my mom needs the computer when I'm done in the next 20 minutes, and mooning us as he went upstairs again.
No I just dont have to do everything with my girlfriend like a complete faggot, do you hold hands on the treadmills? kek
>going to the gym
>everything
rofl are you an incel AND retarded?
How can you stay alive being aware you're so worthless, kill yourself homie.
>I feel like I fucked up.
>Me and my girlfriend
Do you see where you fucked up now?
kek. I've only dated one other one, and luckily we cycled at different times so we were able to (somewhat) effectively help each other out when we were manic as fuck and blowing money on the most retarded shit or on the brink of suicide. I'm lucky enough to be able to mostly control myself and my cock now (I'm 28) but from the point of diagnosis until about 25, I'd fuck any willing female with a pulse when I was upping. caused me unimaginable trouble. she unfortunately could not but she was 4 years younger. all good tho we're still friends. and both of us were way more inclined to take Adderall when we were depressive, not manic. but I did kek cuz it's obvious you know what you're talking about.
OOOOHHHHHHH this explains it, you're a lazy piece of shit who thinks buying a gift means spending time.
Jesus christ dude calm down, has someone called you out for the gym thing before? Look how crazy your replies look.
>rofl
no YOU fucking kill yourself.
Fat bitches never get thin, dump her now
How the fuck did you get that? Please explain your logic, try not to lose your shit this time.
this guy isnt I'm lol
nah man, you first.
I'll follow, but you go first.
Lead by example
the first guy is a different user, dude.I guess we both saw you for what you are.
don't waste your time on this chick.
if you have to degrade yourself ("i'm a shit boyfriend") in mere hopes of communicating with her, it's not worth it.
also not worth it to stay with someone who constantly points out your flaws and engages in arguments repeatedly.
some people thrive on conflict and drama, and
she sounds like one of those types.
discard and forge ahead
because
>you are convinced she needs gifts and surprises and cakes
>you are opposed to spending time through the day with her paying attention to her needs
It took me a long time to realise how bad it is when you have too much power over your partner. It's shit for both partners imo. And it is true, even if I didn't enjoy having the power I couldn't stop it. In my case my boyfriend cheated on me many times and every time I was too naive to understand that he won't change either. I had the power because I "forgave" him the stuff I did. It lasted for a year and a half, I felt like shit and he did too because I used his cheating to win every argument. Winning was easy but knowing what I was doing wasn't.
Now I am in a good healthy relationship. We talk and we are equal, also ge doesn't cheat. It helps. But my point is that she won't change and as hard is it will be, you have to let her go.
Kek same fag loser
Why dont you fuck off to the gym with your girlfriend and do sit up kisses and get put in a fitness fail compilation.
I'm not OP you fucking moron.
I'll do that, have fun with your hand and crippling loneliness lmfao.
Please though, keep on schedule and kill yourself before you're 18, we don't need you to vote.
LOL better than the inevitable liveleak video you'll be in where you livestream your suicide to a grand total of 3 people.
have girlfriend
Don't have to go to the gym with her because im not insecure, lets face it you only go because you're worried about her talking to other guys.
The only reason id kill myself is your constant use of LOL and rofl like some fucking 40 year old roastie.
+1
your hand is not your girlfriend, friend.
gottem ha ha =] xD :))))) lol rofl!
I could say the same to you, but I believe you have one because of how spergy you reacted when people said going to the gym with her was pathetic. Kek.
You believe I have a hand?
Wow friend I appreciate that. lol rofl xD
sounds like he had the power and you maybe a little delusional with a hint of blind narcissism lol. but yeah that shit is real and it just snowballs completely out of control
Check out this book op! It is well worth the money, or data if you are a pirate
Cringe
>people
you mean just you?
>we schizophrenic now
xDDDDDDDDDDDDD /r/cringe xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
kek
samefag
gotteeeeeem Xddd
Holy shit this thread is still here? I’m OP, let me read all this crap
go away op, I'm trying to derail your thread with this other fag
it's a situation that many many people have dealt with user and each of them has their own story, their own problems and their own ideas of how it should be handled.
>derail
You mean freak out and act stupid to deflect from how annoyed you are about what people are saying.
both of you are plebbit spacing fags
OP here with an update
I man’ed up and told her that I’m not going to stand for her treating me like all I do is wrong. I told her I’m not giving her anymore sweets, and I love her. But I’m not gonna put up with her childish bullshit. I’m waiting on her response
should have done it in person but hey, baby steps
sent her this
>I understand you don’t want to talk to me right now, but whenever you see this message, call or text me. Because I’m not going to deal with us being petty. We’re adults, and we should start acting like them. I love you, so so so so much. Okay?
>The fact that you point out that I give you sweets isn’t what hurt me. I understand you’re trying to lose weight and be healthy. That’s why I’m trying to go out of my way for you to cook a nice meal here and there, to join beachbody under you, hell I’m even considering that Meatless March because I want to challenge myself for you. Because I love you.
>But if you’re going to tell me multiple times that I’m doing things wrong AFTER the fact that it happened, then we need to talk. Because we are in a relationship. A healthy one. We have a strong connection, and I feel that you should trust me enough to tell me exactly what you want from me, straight and to the point.
>Me and you shouldn’t be arguing about something as petty as sweets. If you don’t want any more sweets, then I won’t give you any more. No sugar.
>I understand where you’re coming from. I still want to talk about our argument, how we can make up, and how we’re going to better ourselves. Because—and I’m saying this after a LONG period of thinking—I will not stand for things like this. I won’t stand for little things. Because we’ll get away with this kind of stuff in the future and we’ll just be unhappy. I feel like if we address the issue head-on and resolve it then and there when it happens, things will go by much more smoothly. I love you, and you love me. We love each other. We should be focusing on the positive aspects, not degrading each other for our mistakes.
>I would say call me when you get this, but what I’m really going to say is call me when you’ve thought about all of this.
Again, I’m going to say it once more because it’s true. I love you.
Thoughts?
> She keeps bringing up my flaws. What I do wrong.
> Now she won’t talk to me and I sent her texts saying that I’m a terrible shit boyfriend.
Bro, she sounds toxic as hell.... seriously, listen to the others, get out... get out now!
>But I’m not gonna put up with her childish bullshit
You got this bro, don't give in now, expose her mental abuse and let her know you're considering leaving to save your sanity
>Thoughts?
Sometimes you miss the memories more than the person. Once you realise that person isn't who they once were it gets easier to distance yourself from them
I told her that nothing I do is to intentionally hurt her. Things are going A little better